"Kwangmin..."

I turned around ,ready to run when someone grabbed my wrist.

My face was turned to Youngmin.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING (Y/N)?!" he screamed.

I flinched, Youngmin, who used to be so calm and kind.

I looked over to Kwangmin, begging him to help me while Youngmin started lecture me.

Kwangmin just looked away... avoiding my eye contact.

It broke my heart.
Tears started to well up in my eyes.
Not only did I feel lonely and angry, but also betrayed.
When I needed him the most, he turned his back to me.
"Youngmin..." Aeri said quietly.

I could feel his grip loosen and I took the change to shake his hand off.

As soon as I was free, I ran.

The hall was filled with silence.
I ran out the fire exit and went up couple of floors.

The wind was chilly and I didn't bring any jacket.

-How could I be so stupid, I slapped Aeri. In the face, and Kwangmin saw it-

I thought.

Suddenly a door flew open.

I looked down and Kwangmin stood there.
He walked back and forth while scratching his head.

Kwangmin let out a big sight before disappearing.

"I am so sorry" I whispered before running home.

Ever since that day, I have been avoiding Kwangmin more and more.

Every day that went by became harder for me.

I couldn't stand it anymore.

I need Kwangmin.

That night, I called their manager. He told me that the boys were coming home late.

I decided to surprise them and make dinner.

Because they ended work late, they probably wanted to rest, so I made something really simple like Curry Rice.

Once I was finished, I left a note.

-Good work Boyfriend! Please don't forget to eat-
At the end, I drew a star, hoping that Kwangmin would realize that he is not alone.

(Just a backfact: You always drew stars at the end when you were too lazy to write your name. This way Kwangmin knew it was you)

I was on my way to the car when I suddenly heard the sound of a door.

Damn! Did they come home already?!

I hid on their balcony and peeked through the window and saw the boys come in to the dorm.
Everyone looked tired.
Minwoo was the first one to notice the food. They sat down and ate it.
It made me happy, seeing they happy smiles.

How would I even get down without the boys notice me?
Maybe I just jump.. I mean.. it is just three meters....
....

Or

Climb down from that tree.

I managed to jump to the tree (LIKE A NINJA!) and went home.
Narratior POV:
Just when (Y/N) had disappeared, Donghyun noticed the letter.

He read it out and wondered who made the food.

Everyone got to see the card, not knowing any clue.

Hyunseong suggested it was Aeri, making Youngmin blush.

Kwangmin analyzed the card closely. He realized something like a lighting.

He suddenly stood up and ran to the front door.

Looked around and went back to the dorm, disappointed.

"Whats up Kwang?" Jeongmin asked.

He shaked his head and went to the bedroom.

Too tired to do anything, Kwangmin plopped on the bed, looking at his phone.
The background was a picture of (Y/N) and him.

He wanted to text you, call you, see you. But was too scared.

Youngmin came in to the bedroom too.
"Still thinking about her??" he asked.

But Kwangmin didn't answer.

"Come on, talk to me" Youngmin begged.

"Still mad at her?" Kwangmin suddenly asked.

"Kind of yeah"
"Well, I am still thinking about her. Not being able to be there for her. Not helping her at that time made me feel like I betrayed her. And the face she made. I can't get it out of my head. The look she had in her eyes. It was filled with hope, and I ruined it"

"Is that why you suggested the new song?" Youngmin asked.

"No... but it was just.. something I wrote down and Donghyun found it. He wanted to use the lyrics for a new song."

"Be brave bro" Youngmin said, patting his brother on the back before leaving the room.

Kwangmin took a deep breath in before opening his phone.

He wrote a text and sent it.
(Y/N) POV
Just when I came home, I got a text from Kwangmin.

Too scared to open it, I ignored it, but I knew that I had to read it.
I read the text slowly.
"Hi, I think we need to talk. Can you come over tomorrow? We have a free day"
Mixed emotion filled my body.
Then I got a text from their leader Donghyun.
"Hey! Got a new lyrics for a new song, wanna read it?"
I replied with a "Sure".

Soon, a long text came.

(The lyrics is from the song -White Out-, If you are not interested in reading it, skip to next chapter please :D)

P.S! The song is about a guy who is sorry for not being able to stay with his girlfriend)


Give me that hand, let me hold it
That's allowed, right? Please
Just look at your clothes, you have a stain
It will be the last time I can say that kind of thing to you
Why am I too late every single time
When you kept giving me signs?
Like a broken screen, my vision keeps getting blurred
Did you endure through this all by yourself? Those white hot painful tears?
At first, there were butterflies and then things got familiar
In the end, there was no choice but to break up
I know that you already endured through so much of me
My heart hurts so much, I'm going crazy but I can't hold onto you
I can feel your bitter lips, the smell of cigarettes, the thick longing
This is our last kiss, please take care, you're getting farther away
You're pretty so you'll be fine, sorry I couldn't be the one for you
The only thing I gave you was loneliness so I know I can't hope for anything more
Why am I so dull every single time? I always realize once I actually go through it
Like a broken screen, my vision keeps getting blurred
Did you endure through this all by yourself? Those white hot painful tears?
Don't say you're sorry, don't miss me, you hurt too much
I'll try to endure it all by myself just like you did
I will spend nights in tears just like you did
I'll try to endure it all by myself just like you did
I will spend nights in tears just like you did
I'll try to endure it all by myself just like you did until now
When I slowly started seeing ahead, you became a dot and disappeared
Please be happy now, let me do this for you, please
Don't cry now, smile for me, don't cry anymore, give all the pain to me and smile
Don't cry now, smile for me, don't cry anymore, give all the pain to me and smile
Don't cry now, smile for me, don't cry anymore

Notes