So Much For Being Siblings

As I walked back to my own house, I bumped into Erin. Her hair was messed up and so was her make-up. Her shirt was on backwards. Any person walking past her on the street would know that she was just screwed. She noticed me and an evil smirk immediately formed on her face. I glared at her as she came up to me and whispered into my ear, “Jimin was great in bed.” Then she walked away without looking back.

I clenched my hands together into fists. I tried to contain my anger. On my way home from Jungkook’s house I had told myself to calm down. Jimin disrespected me by doing what he did, but I’ll just speak to him about it. There is no reason for me to feel this angry. I had sex. So why did it hurt me that Jimin had sex?

Even as I stepped into the house I couldn’t answer that question. As I set my bag down Jimin came downstairs and our eyes met. I bit my lips in order to keep my mixed emotions hidden. Jimin looked frustrated and worried, even a little guilty when his eyes met mine. Why?

“Kana. Please let me explain.” Jimin tried.

“No.” I said, cutting him off. Boy always say that in order to try to cover up what they did. I wasn’t buying it. “Jimin. You don’t need to explain. I saw what I saw. There WAS no misunderstanding. It’s fine. I was just surprised before.”

I was about to walk past him when Jimin grabbed both my arms and stopped me. “Kana! Listen to me! There IS a misunderstanding!” He said, raising his voice a little.

I looked into his serious eyes. “No Jimin. There couldn’t have been any misunderstanding there.”

“YES THERE IS! ERIN BLACKMAILED ME INTO IT! I HAD NO CHOICE!” Jimin yelled while both of his strong hands gripped both my arms tightly.

I looked at him. “Erin. BLACKMAILED you.”

Jimin nodded. “Yes. I had to.”

I raised an eyebrow and asked, “Really, now? What did she had against you that you were so scared of that you agreed to have sex with her?”

Jimin sighed. “It was for you.”

I made a face telling him that I did not believe him and what he said to me sounded absolutely ridiculous.

“Kana. Remember that night. When you went to Suga house? Well, Erin somehow has footage.” Jimin told me.
I rolled my eyes and replied, “I already know-OH. MY GOD. NO. JIMIN, PLEASE DON’T TELL ME-”

Jimin nodded and told me, “Yes. Erin has the footage and she used it to blackmail me. SHe told me that if I didn’t have sex with her she would do something with that footage, and of course, you can imagine all the horrifying outcomes and possibilities. So I decided to have sex with her so she wouldn’t show that to anyone. I wanted to get it over with so you didn’t need to know about this. But obviously you did find out.”

A teardrop fell from my face.

Jimin started to panick and said, “Kana! I told you that I wasn’t willing to have sex with her and we weren’t hooking up. Why are you still crying? What do I have to do to make you happy again?”

I slapped his chest and yelled, “So why didn’t you tell me that Erin blackmailed you?!”

“Because you never gave me the chance to explain. You just ran.” Jimin said.

I started crying even more. “So you’re saying that it’s my fault that I misunderstood everything. And it’s my own fault that I thought you and Erin were hooking up. And it’s my own fault that I was so hurt by it.”

Jimin pulled me into his arms and patted my head while I cried for the millionth time today. “No. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m sorry Kana.”

We just stood there, with me in Jimin’s arms. I was still trying to sort out my jumbled emotions and feelings. I didn’t know who i liked anymore. I didn’t know who to trust. I didn’t know who was my friend. I can’t decide what it was I felt for Jimin while I was in his warm embrace.

Jimin’s P.O.V.

I looked down at Kana, who was still softly crying in my arms. I was trying to hold back my tears. Right now I was closest to her, but so far away at the same time. I had done something for her. But in the end it seemed like it would’ve been better if I didn’t take the deal with Erin. It felt horrible. I had hurt her. I may have destroyed the trust she had for me. Even if she wasn’t mad at me anymore, I still felt guilty.

But when Kana would occasionally look up at me, I would give her a smile. My chest hurt. One of the worst kind of pain is when you are smiling just to keep the tears from falling. Why was Kana in my arms. It wasn’t because she loved me. She likes Suga. I’ve realized that since that night. So does that mean that I am waiting for something that will never happen? I hate that I’m still hoping. Even though I knew Kana was never going to like me. We were soon going to be step-siblings. We were never meant to be.

When our parents came back, kana’s tears had dried and we greeted our parents with wide smiles and warm hugs. That night we ate dinner at the dining table and chatted like usual. But my father and Kana’s mother did not sense the pain and sadness in the atmosphere.

“Hey, dad. How long are we going to stay here?” I asked.

My father looked at me, thought for a second and answered, “At least two more weeks.”

I nodded. That just meant that I had to deal with the fact that the person I loved is living her with me, but her heart was out there, belonging to someone else right? RIght. It’s only for two week. I can do this. But that night before we all went to bed Kana gave me a hug and whispered, “Sorry about before. Good night Jimin.”

Then she let go of me and walked towards her room. I stood there as she suddenly turned around and said, “I love you Jimin.”

In that moment, nothing else mattered. I felt like time had stopped itself. All I cared about was that Kana just said I love you. But I knew what she would say next. I wished she wouldn’t play with my feelings.

“As a sibling.” She finished and headed into her room.

I knew she would say that. I was still hoping that she wouldn’t say those last three words. Maybe there was a 0.00000000001 percent chance. Maybe. But deep down, I was already telling myself to stop hoping for things that would never happen.

Before I headed to the guest room where I slept, I walked up to Kana’s door, which was locked and leaned against it.

I sighed deeply and whispered, “I knew you didn’t love me. But I adored you anyways.”

Notes