First Love
Heartbeats
The face of that boy on the day of his death.
It was unlike no other.
A satisfied smile.
Do Minju's POV
During the 2nd year of high school, Min Yoongi transferred to my school.
Since his transfer, I’ve never seen him interact with others.
He was slender and pale and looked fragile with his black hair framing his small face. He always slept during lectures and gets the highest marks.
For some strange reason, I can never stop staring at him.
I think I’m kind of interested in him.
Usually he doesn’t talk with anyone and goes straight home.
He sits out during Phys. Ed.
Rumors circulated saying he has health problems, but no one knows the truth.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him as more mysteries piled up around him.
As if like fate, our paths crossed once day.
I can still remember that day clearly.
I walked towards the infirmary, sweat dripping down my forehead.
“Ms. Park I don’t feel so well.” I groaned.
“Yah Min Yoongi! Are you crazy? You could've broken your pacemaker. Or even worse, you could've-” yelled Ms. Park.
She stared at me with her eyes wide open. My eyes flickered towards to where a pale skinny boy sat.
He was slumped over his chair, his shirt on the floor. Pain clenched his face and his adam's apple bobbed painfully. Instead of his half naked body, something caught my eye.
A circular object on top of his heart.
“I have a rare disease.” He spoke at last sneaking a glance at my face.
We sat together on the roof of our school. I glanced at the clear blue sky nodding, encouraging him to continue his story.
“I have weak heart muscles, making my heartbeat irregular. It’s a strange disease that only occurs rarely.” Yoongi’s face turned into one that has experienced deep sorrow.
“They say,” He looked up at the sky sadly. “The amount of times a person’s heart beats in their lifetime is decided at birth. But someone like me has less heartbeats than everyone else.”
I watched him as he began tapping on his phone.
“Here point this at my chest, on top of my pacemaker.”
He passed me his phone. I lifted it and stared at its screen.
Min Yoongi
Age: 17
Heartbeats: 221,124,620 beats lefts
“There’s about 220 million beats left. You may think that’s a lot, but in 6-7 years, my heart will stop beating.” He continued. “If my heartbeat is elevated, my life span would shorten. That’s why I can't run or participate in Phys. Ed.”
When I recalled listening to this conversation, I could remember thinking to myself, Wow, he sure can talk a lot.
“Why are you telling me this?” I spoke at last.
“I thought if you knew about my conditions, you wouldn’t go around spreading rumors. At my previous school, it was uncomfortable because of the rumors about me.” He smiled lightly. “Plus from the way you look, I wouldn’t think that you’re a bad person.”
I flushed. “You had it rough didn’t you?”
“Not really… But in truth, I really wanted to get along with everyone. I wanted to be normal like them. If things continued like this, I would prefer to live my life out with every second I have left. But I’m afraid to do it, since it would shorten my life.”
He looked so sad as he talked about himself. “Forget it.” He muttered.
“Do Minju, would you keep this a secret-” He got up, smiling sadly at the ground.
“Min Yoongi!” I shouted.
He turned around, a look of surprise on his face.
“Were all those feeling true?” I rose to my feet. “If that’s true, I’ll help you enjoy your life to its fullest! I swear on my life!”
At first, his pale face showed no hint of emotion, until finally, his warm brown eyes crinkled into the shape of crescents.
The corners of his mouth curled into a smile.
It was the first time I seen such a genuine smile.
For the first time, I could feel my heart skip a beat.
Next thing I knew, we became best friends. We went everywhere, from beaches to riding roller coasters. We experienced lots of exciting heart beating moments, doing everything we could think of.
The first thing that surprised me when I spent time with Yoongi is that his personality is completely different from his appearance.
He appeared silent and gloomy. He never smiled and was very cold. But in reality I learnt that he loves to talk, and sleep. But when he’s really energetic he does stupid things. He can tell jokes and can humour others. He’s also very honest and blunt and sarcastic. I was so shocked when he showed me his basketball skills. He appears fragile, but he’s actually a really strong person.
As we walked home one day, I realized how much we’ve been fooling around.
“Does your parents know what we’re doing everyday?”
His black bangs covered his eyes. “..Yea. Right now I feel really happy, though I feel a little sad”
“I see.” I smiled gently at him. Suddenly a thought struck me. “Yoongi-”
“Don’t say it.” He stopped in his tracks and looked me in my eyes desperately. “Don’t say anymore, please.”
I mentally slapped myself. Am I an idiot?
“I think you misunderstood something.” I quickly stated. “There’s a fireworks display in the neighboring town, you’re coming right?”
His expression quickly changed. “Obviously.” He said while grinning.
“To be honest, I don’t know you that well.”
“What do you mean?” He questioned, staring at me oddly.
“You told me things like your disease, but you’ve never talked about the things you like.”
“Oh.” He replied flustered.“I play piano-”
“Really!?” I exclaimed excitedly. “Play for me! Please!!!!” I pouted.
“No.” He said blushing.
“Think about it, since you went through the trouble to learn how to play piano, isn’t it like a lifetime chance to play?” I smirked.
“Fine.” He sighed loudly. “I know the perfect place to play though.” He grinned
We arrived at an old piano store. He smiled fondly at the old brown piano in the front of the shop, gently brushing his fingers on the top board.
He sat down and gracefully moved his fingers around the keys, finding the notes. He turned around, facing me and smiled.
His eyes gently closed as he began playing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz71wcHIDAg
His movements were smooth and the melody was emphasized by the way he played each note.
He turned around once again and looked at me, a soft smile playing on his lips.
His smile quickly slipped off his face as he stared at me.
“What’s wrong?” Why are you crying?” He got up and looked at me with concern.
I suddenly realized the streams of tears falling down my cheeks, and began wiping it away furiously. At last I met his eyes.
“That was beautiful. It was as if I could feel it...” I whispered with wonder.
Slowly, his gummy smile appeared on his face.
“I got it!” I jumped with excitement, grabbing his hand. “Let’s perform together! At the festival.”
His eyes were wide with shock, but finally he nodded. “Let’s do it.”
I finally understood why I cried that day. His notes were mellow and soothing, tugging at my heartstrings. It was like I was under a spell, wanting to hear more. His feeling he poured into that short song, I could feel it.
Day of the Festival: 2014
“I’m so nervous. My heart’s been thumping like a alarm bell the whole day.” Yoongi whispered.
I sighed. “What a waste of a lifespan.” I mumbled. “Here’s the score. Go get some fresh air and memorize the last part.”
“Ok.” He got up and walked out with shaking legs.
I stifled a laugh.
“Are you really ok?”
I turned around and found Rapmon narrowing his eyes at me. “You..” He said, searched my eyes. “Don’t push yourself so hard.”
I slammed my hand onto his back making him stumble forward. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” I said waving my hand.
Yoongi burst through the classroom door, his brow covered in sweat. “Minju! What do I do? I lost the score!”
“You lost the score!?”
“Y-yea I didn’t know where the wind blew it.” He looked down on his shoe. “What should I do? I still haven’t memorized the ending.”
“It’s almost time to prep.” Taehyung’s head poked through the door frame.
“All right!” I smiled. “I’ll search for it.”
“Ya Minju!” Rapmon glared at me.
“Don’t worry, even if I don't play in the festival, Yoongi would still play. I’ll definetly find it, so Yoongi go prepare.”
“Ok.” said Yoongi.
I could feel the stern stare on the back of my head from Rapmon as I ran out the door.
Okay! It was blown toward the trees and bushes in front of the track.
Haa
Ha
Haa
Haa
Rapmon’s POV
“Minju found the score.” I said handing him the paper.
“Thank you.” Yoongi breathed a sigh of relief. “Where’s Minju?”
“She won’t be coming.”
“Is she in the toilet? Or-”
“She’s not coming to watch your performance.” I replied finally, my heart shattering, as I recalled all the time I’ve known her.
My childhood friend.
“You should know this. She..” I began, finally gathering the courage to speak.
Do Minju's POV
I stared out the window from my classroom.
“DO MINJU!!!” Yoongi barged through the door.
I cringed at the sudden loud noise and turned around.
“Yoongi, why do you look so pale?
Slowly he brought up his phone.
Do Minju
Age: 17
Heartbeats: 1264 beats left.
Beep
Beep
1262 beats left
“W-why?” He whispered staring at me in shock.
I smiled sadly. “I see, so he told you huh.” I looked into his kind eyes. “I have about...15 minutes left.” I began.
“When my parents first found out I got this disease, they attached this fancy device over my heart. They told me to use the remainder of my life however I want, but they weren’t happy with it.”
“Why?” He asked again, stepping closer to me.
“If I had told you, you would have hold back right?” I smiled again. “I was surprised you had the same disease as me. Everything you said,” I searched his eyes, that glistened with tears. “I also thought the same. If I were to die, I would like to live my life filled with excitement.”
I had flashbacks as I spoke of my past. “That’s why I wanted to cheer you on with all my heart. Because of you, I’ve had so much fun.” I grinned.
“Thank you Yoongi.”
“I really wanted to play with you, but I was running around here and there.” I replied shyly, scratching my head. “Sorry I can’t stand on stage with you.”
“Idiot.” His eyes brimmed with tears as they slowly streamed down his pale face, he walked forward and wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m staying beside you. I won’t leave your side.” He whispered into my ear.
I could feel my own tears falling down my face.
“You can’t.” I pulled away. “We put so much effort into today. I’ll be listening from here, all those people came here to listen to you play. That’s why let me hear you play,” I smiled brightly, wanting him to remember me by my smiling face. “one last time.”
Slowly I leaned into his face and gently kissed him.
“I love you.”
Author’s POV
The next performance today, please welcome Min Yoongi playing First Love.
“Are you done?” Rapmon said as Yoongi entered the backstage. “I see.” He smiled. “Go. Give her the best performance she has ever heard.”
Yoongi walked onto the stage, his steps filled with confidence. He began playing, pouring all his emotions into the song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5yF68t1FQ
He played of his first love. He played of her.
“Ah, such a calming melody.” Minju smiled. “Beautiful.”
“My first love.”
I, Do Minju,
Left this world at the age of 17.
The image I left behind, was of one that had no regrets.
Afterwards Min Yoongi graduated high school and debuted as a composer and a pianist. He became well known under the stage name Suga, and his songs became a hot topic overnight. He announced his illness to the world and composed songs that reached people's hearts. He kept creating music for years with all his heart and soul. His last live concert tickets were sold within 0.36 seconds and 100,000 people attended.
Min Yoongi died at the age of 22.
His last dying face,
Is of one that is satisfied.
It was unlike no other.
A satisfied smile.
Do Minju's POV
During the 2nd year of high school, Min Yoongi transferred to my school.
Since his transfer, I’ve never seen him interact with others.
He was slender and pale and looked fragile with his black hair framing his small face. He always slept during lectures and gets the highest marks.
For some strange reason, I can never stop staring at him.
I think I’m kind of interested in him.
Usually he doesn’t talk with anyone and goes straight home.
He sits out during Phys. Ed.
Rumors circulated saying he has health problems, but no one knows the truth.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him as more mysteries piled up around him.
As if like fate, our paths crossed once day.
I can still remember that day clearly.
I walked towards the infirmary, sweat dripping down my forehead.
“Ms. Park I don’t feel so well.” I groaned.
“Yah Min Yoongi! Are you crazy? You could've broken your pacemaker. Or even worse, you could've-” yelled Ms. Park.
She stared at me with her eyes wide open. My eyes flickered towards to where a pale skinny boy sat.
He was slumped over his chair, his shirt on the floor. Pain clenched his face and his adam's apple bobbed painfully. Instead of his half naked body, something caught my eye.
A circular object on top of his heart.
“I have a rare disease.” He spoke at last sneaking a glance at my face.
We sat together on the roof of our school. I glanced at the clear blue sky nodding, encouraging him to continue his story.
“I have weak heart muscles, making my heartbeat irregular. It’s a strange disease that only occurs rarely.” Yoongi’s face turned into one that has experienced deep sorrow.
“They say,” He looked up at the sky sadly. “The amount of times a person’s heart beats in their lifetime is decided at birth. But someone like me has less heartbeats than everyone else.”
I watched him as he began tapping on his phone.
“Here point this at my chest, on top of my pacemaker.”
He passed me his phone. I lifted it and stared at its screen.
Min Yoongi
Age: 17
Heartbeats: 221,124,620 beats lefts
“There’s about 220 million beats left. You may think that’s a lot, but in 6-7 years, my heart will stop beating.” He continued. “If my heartbeat is elevated, my life span would shorten. That’s why I can't run or participate in Phys. Ed.”
When I recalled listening to this conversation, I could remember thinking to myself, Wow, he sure can talk a lot.
“Why are you telling me this?” I spoke at last.
“I thought if you knew about my conditions, you wouldn’t go around spreading rumors. At my previous school, it was uncomfortable because of the rumors about me.” He smiled lightly. “Plus from the way you look, I wouldn’t think that you’re a bad person.”
I flushed. “You had it rough didn’t you?”
“Not really… But in truth, I really wanted to get along with everyone. I wanted to be normal like them. If things continued like this, I would prefer to live my life out with every second I have left. But I’m afraid to do it, since it would shorten my life.”
He looked so sad as he talked about himself. “Forget it.” He muttered.
“Do Minju, would you keep this a secret-” He got up, smiling sadly at the ground.
“Min Yoongi!” I shouted.
He turned around, a look of surprise on his face.
“Were all those feeling true?” I rose to my feet. “If that’s true, I’ll help you enjoy your life to its fullest! I swear on my life!”
At first, his pale face showed no hint of emotion, until finally, his warm brown eyes crinkled into the shape of crescents.
The corners of his mouth curled into a smile.
It was the first time I seen such a genuine smile.
For the first time, I could feel my heart skip a beat.
Next thing I knew, we became best friends. We went everywhere, from beaches to riding roller coasters. We experienced lots of exciting heart beating moments, doing everything we could think of.
The first thing that surprised me when I spent time with Yoongi is that his personality is completely different from his appearance.
He appeared silent and gloomy. He never smiled and was very cold. But in reality I learnt that he loves to talk, and sleep. But when he’s really energetic he does stupid things. He can tell jokes and can humour others. He’s also very honest and blunt and sarcastic. I was so shocked when he showed me his basketball skills. He appears fragile, but he’s actually a really strong person.
As we walked home one day, I realized how much we’ve been fooling around.
“Does your parents know what we’re doing everyday?”
His black bangs covered his eyes. “..Yea. Right now I feel really happy, though I feel a little sad”
“I see.” I smiled gently at him. Suddenly a thought struck me. “Yoongi-”
“Don’t say it.” He stopped in his tracks and looked me in my eyes desperately. “Don’t say anymore, please.”
I mentally slapped myself. Am I an idiot?
“I think you misunderstood something.” I quickly stated. “There’s a fireworks display in the neighboring town, you’re coming right?”
His expression quickly changed. “Obviously.” He said while grinning.
“To be honest, I don’t know you that well.”
“What do you mean?” He questioned, staring at me oddly.
“You told me things like your disease, but you’ve never talked about the things you like.”
“Oh.” He replied flustered.“I play piano-”
“Really!?” I exclaimed excitedly. “Play for me! Please!!!!” I pouted.
“No.” He said blushing.
“Think about it, since you went through the trouble to learn how to play piano, isn’t it like a lifetime chance to play?” I smirked.
“Fine.” He sighed loudly. “I know the perfect place to play though.” He grinned
We arrived at an old piano store. He smiled fondly at the old brown piano in the front of the shop, gently brushing his fingers on the top board.
He sat down and gracefully moved his fingers around the keys, finding the notes. He turned around, facing me and smiled.
His eyes gently closed as he began playing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz71wcHIDAg
His movements were smooth and the melody was emphasized by the way he played each note.
He turned around once again and looked at me, a soft smile playing on his lips.
His smile quickly slipped off his face as he stared at me.
“What’s wrong?” Why are you crying?” He got up and looked at me with concern.
I suddenly realized the streams of tears falling down my cheeks, and began wiping it away furiously. At last I met his eyes.
“That was beautiful. It was as if I could feel it...” I whispered with wonder.
Slowly, his gummy smile appeared on his face.
“I got it!” I jumped with excitement, grabbing his hand. “Let’s perform together! At the festival.”
His eyes were wide with shock, but finally he nodded. “Let’s do it.”
I finally understood why I cried that day. His notes were mellow and soothing, tugging at my heartstrings. It was like I was under a spell, wanting to hear more. His feeling he poured into that short song, I could feel it.
Day of the Festival: 2014
“I’m so nervous. My heart’s been thumping like a alarm bell the whole day.” Yoongi whispered.
I sighed. “What a waste of a lifespan.” I mumbled. “Here’s the score. Go get some fresh air and memorize the last part.”
“Ok.” He got up and walked out with shaking legs.
I stifled a laugh.
“Are you really ok?”
I turned around and found Rapmon narrowing his eyes at me. “You..” He said, searched my eyes. “Don’t push yourself so hard.”
I slammed my hand onto his back making him stumble forward. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” I said waving my hand.
Yoongi burst through the classroom door, his brow covered in sweat. “Minju! What do I do? I lost the score!”
“You lost the score!?”
“Y-yea I didn’t know where the wind blew it.” He looked down on his shoe. “What should I do? I still haven’t memorized the ending.”
“It’s almost time to prep.” Taehyung’s head poked through the door frame.
“All right!” I smiled. “I’ll search for it.”
“Ya Minju!” Rapmon glared at me.
“Don’t worry, even if I don't play in the festival, Yoongi would still play. I’ll definetly find it, so Yoongi go prepare.”
“Ok.” said Yoongi.
I could feel the stern stare on the back of my head from Rapmon as I ran out the door.
Okay! It was blown toward the trees and bushes in front of the track.
Haa
Ha
Haa
Haa
Rapmon’s POV
“Minju found the score.” I said handing him the paper.
“Thank you.” Yoongi breathed a sigh of relief. “Where’s Minju?”
“She won’t be coming.”
“Is she in the toilet? Or-”
“She’s not coming to watch your performance.” I replied finally, my heart shattering, as I recalled all the time I’ve known her.
My childhood friend.
“You should know this. She..” I began, finally gathering the courage to speak.
Do Minju's POV
I stared out the window from my classroom.
“DO MINJU!!!” Yoongi barged through the door.
I cringed at the sudden loud noise and turned around.
“Yoongi, why do you look so pale?
Slowly he brought up his phone.
Do Minju
Age: 17
Heartbeats: 1264 beats left.
Beep
Beep
1262 beats left
“W-why?” He whispered staring at me in shock.
I smiled sadly. “I see, so he told you huh.” I looked into his kind eyes. “I have about...15 minutes left.” I began.
“When my parents first found out I got this disease, they attached this fancy device over my heart. They told me to use the remainder of my life however I want, but they weren’t happy with it.”
“Why?” He asked again, stepping closer to me.
“If I had told you, you would have hold back right?” I smiled again. “I was surprised you had the same disease as me. Everything you said,” I searched his eyes, that glistened with tears. “I also thought the same. If I were to die, I would like to live my life filled with excitement.”
I had flashbacks as I spoke of my past. “That’s why I wanted to cheer you on with all my heart. Because of you, I’ve had so much fun.” I grinned.
“Thank you Yoongi.”
“I really wanted to play with you, but I was running around here and there.” I replied shyly, scratching my head. “Sorry I can’t stand on stage with you.”
“Idiot.” His eyes brimmed with tears as they slowly streamed down his pale face, he walked forward and wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m staying beside you. I won’t leave your side.” He whispered into my ear.
I could feel my own tears falling down my face.
“You can’t.” I pulled away. “We put so much effort into today. I’ll be listening from here, all those people came here to listen to you play. That’s why let me hear you play,” I smiled brightly, wanting him to remember me by my smiling face. “one last time.”
Slowly I leaned into his face and gently kissed him.
“I love you.”
Author’s POV
The next performance today, please welcome Min Yoongi playing First Love.
“Are you done?” Rapmon said as Yoongi entered the backstage. “I see.” He smiled. “Go. Give her the best performance she has ever heard.”
Yoongi walked onto the stage, his steps filled with confidence. He began playing, pouring all his emotions into the song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5yF68t1FQ
He played of his first love. He played of her.
“Ah, such a calming melody.” Minju smiled. “Beautiful.”
“My first love.”
I, Do Minju,
Left this world at the age of 17.
The image I left behind, was of one that had no regrets.
Afterwards Min Yoongi graduated high school and debuted as a composer and a pianist. He became well known under the stage name Suga, and his songs became a hot topic overnight. He announced his illness to the world and composed songs that reached people's hearts. He kept creating music for years with all his heart and soul. His last live concert tickets were sold within 0.36 seconds and 100,000 people attended.
Min Yoongi died at the age of 22.
His last dying face,
Is of one that is satisfied.
Notes
Hey guys,
Merry Christmas! I hope you guys are having a wonderful day, and I hope you guys enjoyed this short oneshot.
It is based on a manga called Toki Doki by Komi Naoshi. You can check it out here: http://kissmanga.com/Manga/Toki-Doki/Ch-000--One-Shot?id=327448
Check out my other stories:
BTS:
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