Dark & Wild

01 / “i’ve never felt like this before.”

she’s running after her bus, which also happens to be the last bus of the night, out of breath and absolutely helpless. she waves her arms like a maniac but no one pays her any attention as the bus drives off. she keeps running for some strange reason. as if by some miracle of god, the bus will stop because she’s not on it. she realizes this a little too late, the heel of her boots catching on a loose stone in the sidewalk. time seems to move in slow motion as she tumbles to the ground but before she knows it her knees are stinging and there’s tears in her eyes.

she’s not much of a cry baby but today just wasn’t her day and there’s not many people around so she just cries.

she cries because she was late to class and her professor signaled her out. she cries because she failed her exam that counted for 30% of her grade. she cries because she lost her favorite pen, the one that looked like cher horrowitz’s pen in the movie clueless. and she keeps crying because now she’s missed her bus and doesn’t have enough money to get a cab back home. her knees are all banged up and she has to walk miles.

it’s just a shitty day overall.

“are you okay, miss?” she hears someone ask from above her. “you look hurt.”

“no shit,” she coughs out, a hand angrily wiping at the tears that continue to roll down her cheeks. she looks up at the man that’s crouched down beside her and loses her breath at the sight of his genuinely concerned expression.

“you’re bleeding.” he breathes and helps her up without asking if she needs any help. she doesn’t argue with him and just limps in the direction of the bench he leads her towards.

“wait here, i’ll be right back."

she can only nod and watch quietly as he hurriedly jogs across the street and disappears into the conveniently located convenience store. he sticks to his words and takes no longer than a few minutes, practically out of breath as he holds out a first aid kit towards her.
she knows that it’s no use to refuse it. he went to all the trouble to get it for her when he could’ve just walked past her like everyone else did. "thank you.”

he smiles and it makes her heart flutter. oddly enough. she was never the kind of girl that could be swayed by pretty boys like him. she had a solid head on her shoulders and boys only came with trouble.

her trembling fingers opened the first aid kit and ripped open a package of the cleansing wipes, hissing as she dabs at the cuts on her knees.

“you really messed yourself up. how’d it happen? i only saw you sitting on the ground.”
she chews on the inside of her cheek before applying a band-aid to the cut. “i was running after my bus and i tripped. for some reason i thought i was gonna make it. so stupid of me… now i have to walk home in this condition since i don’t have enough money for a taxi.”

his eyebrows creased for a moment, “no you don’t."

he leaves her confused as he walks over to the curb, hailing a taxi that was presumably for her. she shakes her head, eyes wide as she hobbles over to him, looking like a newborn doe.

"please don’t feel too burdened by me. consider this my good deed for the day.” he smiles enough for his dimples to show and as expected… she can’t say no to dimples like his.

she digs through the front pocket of her backpack to grab her phone, unlocking it and holding it out towards him. “so i can repay you later.”

his smile only grows as his nimble fingers type away at her cellphone, handing it back once he’s added himself as a contact.

she leans forward, with all the courage she could muster, and pressed a gentle kiss against the apple of his cheek. he looks surprised when she pulls back, cheeks pink from the blush that raised there.

“thank you.” she mumbles as she slides into the back seat.

he nods and signals for the driver to lower the front window, a couple of folded bills being handed over as he asks for him to ‘please get her home safely.’

he closes the door for her and waves goodbye as the taxi pulls off, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. he was surprised that went as smoothly as it did. when he saw her in his dream, he was a fumbling mess.

///

02 / “i can take my eyes off you but i can’t take my heart off you.”

it takes a while for the two of them to meet up. she’s drowning in final exams and he’s always busy with 'work.’ she doesn’t mind it though. it’s better that he’s a workaholic than a man who just goes through life with no determination or ambition. however, the time spent between finding a right time for them to meet up is filled with nonstop text messages and phone calls.

she has a crush on him and she hopes that he feels the same way too.

eventually they find a mutual break in their schedules, opting to meet for a late night lunch at one of the many food tents littering the han river. she dresses herself in the nicest clothes she owns and spends far too much time in front of the mirror applying make-up, something she wouldn’t do if it had been anyone else.

her effort isn’t in vain.

in fact, it’s the first thing he notices when he sits down on the bench directly across from her. “you look pretty tonight.” he says under his breath, but she still hears it.

cheeks almost as pink as her pastel coat. she smiles and replies with a meek, “thank you.”
she finds it humorous that the two of them are so shy with each other in person, when they never ran out of things to say over the phone.

“do you drink?"

he nods, "especially after the day that i’ve had.”

she gets up from her seat and approaches the counter, carrying a friendly conversation with the elderly owner of the food tent. she comes back with two bottles of soju and two glasses. “i hope you don’t mind peach flavored. i can’t drink the regular one.”

"that’s adorable,” he laughs, “i’m not much of a drinker so i’m partial to anything.”

“do you mind?” he questions as he points at the bottles, lips pulled back to reveal a perfect set of teeth. she nods dreamily as she fans at her face. please don’t melt into a puddle yet, she warns herself, the night has only begun.

he pours her drink nervously, eyes trained on the way the soju flows out of the bottle soothingly. he makes the mistake of pouring his own drink as well but she’s not the type to nitpick. she raises her glass and he follows, both of them cautious as they drink quietly.

“how’s school?” he jabs playfully.

she groans out loud and takes another sip of her drink. “don’t start with me."

there’s a slight pause before she smirks, "how’s work?” his groan perfectly matched her own, chugging down the remainder of his drink before pointing his finger at her sternly. “don’t start with me."

she’s pleased with his answer, diligently pouring him another drink. "you never told me what it is that you do.” her eyebrows crease together as she leans forward attentively, “the night we first met you were wearing gucci loafers. are you some type of gangster?” she teases, fingers tracing the rim of her glass.

he sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. he figured he would’ve had more time to carry on this facade of normalcy. it was nice to meet and talk to someone that wasn’t aware of every aspect of his life. he was a clean slate here in front of her. everything that she knew about him were things that he had confided in her. “you want an honest answer or something interesting?"

she hums lightly, "both? give me interesting first.”

he stares across the table at her with the utmost serious expression. “i’m a conman.”
she laughs, honestly his favorite sound, and tilts her head to observe him. “i can see that. you’re too damn charming. i have no doubt that you can get your way regardless of the situation– but,” she lays her hands flat on the table, “you’re wasting your time here. i have nothing to be conned out of. all i have is my education, however, one day i’ll be making millions.”

“i’m not here to con you. i’m here in the name of love.” he almost chokes at the words that slip past his lips, cheeks red from embarrassment as he downs half a glass of soju. what was the alcohol percentage of soju again? he forgot but he was certain tonight would end interestingly. she bites on her lower lip and he quickly looks in the opposite direction.

“as for the truth, i–” why is it so hard to come clean? it’s not like he’s embarrassed of his career choice. namjoon’s just worried that things would change. she didn’t seem like the kind of girl that was hungry to move up the food chain but looks could be deceiving and he really liked her. that much was evident by the way his heart beat raked up every time she licked her lips.

"i’m in a boy group, i’m an idol,“ he blurts out, much to her surprise. she laughs in response and genuine disbelief, faltering once she realizes that this is no joke.

"shit, really?”

he only nods.

“i don’t mean to offend you or anything but i don’t recognize you. last i heard shinee was the boy group to end big bang or something. i don’t listen to much pop music…” she confesses, shrugging as she sips on her drink cautiously. “i like a lot of western music. indie and rap are my favorite genres. i know they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum but the ears like what the ears like.”

he let’s out a sigh of relief, “thank god. the fact that you don’t know who i am is…–”

“a relief?” she finishes for him. “i mean, there’s a chance that i have heard of you. maybe it was a song on the radio or your group name or something. i just don’t care enough to match faces to names."

he smiles gently, feeling at ease with the situation. at that moment he felt as though there had to be a higher being looking out for him. he couldn’t ask for a better outcome. it seemed as though for the first time in far too long, he was going to be able to start something with a woman as equals. he wasn’t rap monster, bangtan’s powerful rapper. instead, he was kim namjoon, a shy guy with a big heart.

"you probably wouldn’t expect to hear this but— i’m so glad you don’t know who i am.”

she raises an eyebrow at him and folds her hands neatly over the table, “don’t think for one second i won’t go home and spend all night researching you.”

“i wouldn’t think any less of you.” he says with a toothy grin.

///

03 / “you gave me your heart and I gave you all of mine”.

over time she grew to understand why it was so difficult to meet with him in person. there was always someone watching and his life didn’t really belong to him. the pair resorted to meeting at witching hour, sacrificing precious hours of sleep to see one another’s smiling face.

except tonight, there wasn’t really much to smile about.

she kicked another pebble into the river, clutching his hand tighter as they walked along the path in silence. there was a big, grey rain cloud floating over the two of them.

so much that needed to be said, but no one willing to say it.

eventually, the silence becomes too much, and she swallows past the lump in her throat.

“how long will you be gone?” her voice is muffled underneath her face mask.

he stops dead in his tracks, almost hesitating as he turns to her. it’s ridiculous just how much emotion is conveyed through her eyes. it makes him sick to his stomach to know that he was part of the reason she was so hurt.

“three months.”

she flinches instantaneously, feeling like she had been punched in the gut. they barely saw each other as is. it felt unfair to have to give up so much, so early into their relationship. “that fuckin’ sucks…” she muttered, rubbing at her eyes to keep from crying.

he doesn’t really know what to say, long fingers dipping behind her mask to slide it under her chin. namjoon kisses her and he kisses her with such unprecedented passion that her knees literally give out from underneath her. she clutches at his forearms, heart soaring and squeezing in her chest.

she finally understood the female leads reaction to getting kissed in kdramas.

that firm lipped, wide eye gaze into nothingness, finally made sense.

speechless, she sucked in a deep breath, struggling to find something to say.

he chuckles and shakes his head, scratching at the back of his neck as he shrugs. “i’ll be the first to say it.” he pauses for a second, “i love you and i wouldn’t ask you to wait for me unless i truly felt certain about you and i know you have your own life but–”

she kisses him in an attempt to silence his nervous rambling. “i love you too, namjoon.”

he opens his mouth to object to something, but she kisses him again.

and again.

and again.

“you’re worth waiting a thousand years for.”

///

04 / “today is happier than yesterday”.

every time she fidgets in her sleep, he finds himself softly rubbing her back to calm her down.

he almost feels undeserving of this intimate moment.

it’s unfamiliar, as if he’s living someone else’s life.

this stolen moment, granted only because he pleaded and pleaded with his manager, would be worth his entire career.

kim namjoon is a fool because he truly believes that.

with her beautiful head resting on his now dead arm, he can’t stop himself from staring at her peaceful expression.

he loves her.

he loves her so much.

he doesn’t care that she snores or that she drools lakes into her pillow.

he presses a lingering kiss onto her cheek before sinking softly back into the bed.

she stirs, “joon?”

“yeah?”

“please go to sleep,” she sighs, tangling their limbs further. “you have to be up early.”

“okay, i will.” he grins to himself. “i love you.”

“mhm,” she mumbles and kisses the inside of his arm.

///

05 / “my bitter smile has become a habit at some point”.

she's been talking nonstop for a solid six minutes now. namjoon's been gone for four months and they have a lot to catch up on.

however, her once lively chatter slows down into a small frown of disappointment.

namjoon fell asleep.

a g a i n.

she nudges his shin, biting down on her lower lip as he shakes back into consciousness. it was his first day back and his body was ridden with jet lag. he took the first flight out, rushing to her house without even a second of much needed sleep.

"you fell asleep again."

"sorry, baby. go ahead. i was listening, i swear."

she gives him one of t h o s e looks, the ones that say 'i wasn't born yesterday', but continues her story nonetheless.

"so after volunteering with survivors i realized that i wanted to aim a little higher! i changed my morning yesterday to-"

she has to stop herself from reaching over the table and shaking some energy into him when she notices that his eyes start to drift shut once more.

he's exhausted.

she completely and wholeheartedly understands that.

but it doesn't make it any easier for her to digest the distance between the two.

she cups her hands around her mouth and shouts his name, yanking him out of the few seconds of sleep he's secured.

"you shouldn't have asked to meet up if you knew you were so tired, namjoon."

his face turns red, long fingers rubbing at his chin as he nods in agreement. "i know. sorry. i just wanted to see you."

if she wasn't so annoyed with him right now she'd think that was cute. instead, she stands up abruptly and throws her bag's strap over her shoulder. "anyways, i have a study group to attend."

lies.

"thanks for meeting me." she forces out, the fakest of smiles finding home on her lips. it's taking absolutely everything in her not to burst out crying. "i'll go first!" she makes sure to take off into a brisk jog the second after she waves goodbye to him, big, fat tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

she loved him. she loved him so much.

but she knew that being with the person she loved... shouldn't leave her feeling empty all the time.

06 / “so please, don’t look at me as if you’re looking at a stranger”.

“your hair is different.” he comments as he curls a lock of her hair around his finger. her lips purse tightly as she nonchalantly scoots away from him, eyes never moving from the book she’s reading. “i dyed my hair two weeks ago.” which you would’ve noticed if you were actually around, is what she wants to say, but instead she remains silent.

he sighs, obviously annoyed with the situation, trying to earn the attention that he’s so desperately vying for. it’s a pity, namjoon’s girlfriend of nine months would rather finish her book than talk to the man she never gets to see. he crosses his arms over his chest like a child placed in time-out, lips pushed out into a pout that he hopes she’ll notice.

but she doesn’t.

her eyes are busy scanning over the pages as she tries to process the information laid out in front of her.

“baby,” he whines, leaning over to nestle his face on her shoulder.

she lifts her head from the textbook, “what do you want?”

her response earns a scoff from him. “clearly your attention.”

“look, joon. i haven’t seen you in about a month which is why i said yes to you coming over while i’m studying. but i can’t just drop my life and focus on you whenever your schedule calls for it. i have a life too, you know?” she lifts an arm, glancing at the watch that cradles her delicate wrist.

“great…” she gets up suddenly, namjoon’s body falling against the couch cushion dramatically. even that isn’t enough to keep her attention. he grumbles to himself under his breath as he watches her close the textbook and shove it into a bag. “i’m gonna be late for my study group. you can stay here if you want but i won’t be back home until a little after ten pm.”

namjoon sighs and follows suit as he throws his coat back on. “can’t. got a schedule at seven."

she laughs but nothing’s funny, her tone sarcastic as she throws her backpack on. "figures. guess i’ll see you when i see you then?”

he nods and leans forward to give her a kiss on the lips; she moves her head so that his mouth rests against her cheek instead. the action makes his heart stop in his chest. when did she become so cold? namjoon must’ve not been around to witness it.

“i love you,” he says, mostly to himself, as he lets himself out of her apartment. he waits for a response but soon realizes it’s hopeless. the last thing he sees is her shrinking figure as she rushes to catch the next bus to her university.

-

when he stops by her apartment later on that night, she's silent as she furiously types away at the keys on her laptop. he's laying down on the opposite end of her ratty couch, toying with a few loose strands of thread hanging from the neck of his shirt. he wants to spill his guts to her. he wants to talk about how much he misses her and how he feels as though they're floating away from each other. she's only a couple of feet away from him but it feels as though she's on a different planet.

the sound of her groaning snaps him out of his trance, sitting up a little to glance at her fully. "you okay over there?" he asks.

"no. i'm so fucked because this paper is making me his bitch."

he chuckled, getting up to walk over to her and place his hands on her shoulders. he tried to run the tension from her muscles, leaning down to press his lips against her cheek. "you're so smart. you're going to be the best doctor in-"

she freezes underneath his touch, "what?"

his eyebrows crease, "i said you're going to be the best doctor in-"

she cuts him off again, shrugging out of his grasp to stand chest to chest with him. there's tears in her eyes and he doesn't quite understand why.

he takes a step closer to her, a mild attempt to get rid of the emotional distance between them, but she only takes a step back.

"you have to be joking with me..." she begins, "you're really fucking with me, aren't you?" she asks, but she knows he's not from the confusion written all over his face. "namjoon, i switched majors m o n t h s ago! i told you this! i fucking told you but you weren't listening! you never fucking listen to me!"

her sudden yelling was like a slap to his face. he was caught by surprise, feeling as though he was ambushed by an enemy. where was this all coming from?

she wipes at her eyes furiously, eyeliner and mascara being smudged down her soaking wet cheeks. she clears her throat and takes a deep breath. she was oddly calm for someone who was yelling just a few seconds ago.

his heart is hammering in his chest, throat swelled shut, and stomach churning with guilt and nervousness.

"i think we both know where we're headed."

"don't say it, please, don't say it..." he pleaded, mouth running dry at the mere thought of being without her.

"let's break up."

Notes

this is just part one out of fourteen! each member will have two mini stories written about them centered around one of the songs off dark & wild. it's a mini project i started ages ago and just not got around to finishing!

hope u guys enjoy!!! :n)