I was running home.
Not caring about my health, not caring about others looking at me, not caring about anything.

I bursted the main door open, making the maids shocked over where I had been.
I ran to my room and locked myself in.

I sat on my bed, starting to sob.

To let go of my first love was really tough...

I really wanted to forgive him, but a part of me said that I shouldn't.
Don't get me wrong, I do want to be with him, but.. If I can't trust him, we will have some issues in our relationship. Trust is everything for me, and now, I lost it for Suga.
I looked over at my book. I reached for it and took it up.
Outside on the cover was a picture of a girl and a boy kissing. The title said "True Love".

My mind was going to Suga. I couldn't believe in love anymore. If love was going to hurt me this bad, I wouldn't fall in love in the first place.

Anger, sadness and the feeling of being left alone rose inside me.

I started to tear out the cover, destroying the book.
Before I knew it, The whole book was shattered into pieces on my floor.

I kept searching for more books that had with love to do. I wanted to erase everything about love in my life.

Unfortunately... My favorite genre is or... was romance, AND I love to read soo. I had a lot of books in my room. A LOT!!!!

When I got tired of destroying the books, I just sat in the mess, wondering why I was even alive.

Days went by. I didn't want to come out of my room, why should I. Why would I go out and live a life without the person who gave me meaning of my life. How could I possible live a life when my other half is not with me.To live a life without the person who I love so dearly. The person who is Suga.
Sometimes, I would hear voices. Saying I should come out, telling me what to do, but I became even more angrier when I heard someone mention a wedding and a fiance.

How could I possible marry a man who isn't Suga.
That's when I started to lose it again. Tears streaming down my face and my broken heart shattered into pieces again.
I don't know how long I have been in my room, but sometimes, food is right by my bed.
Every time I look at my door, I remember I locked it, but how the food came in, I didn't really wanted to think about.
I didn't want to eat, but when my stomach started to make noise, I just had to.

But it reduced.
Even if my stomach started screaming after food, I wouldn't eat it.

I would always go to the bathroom when I couldn't stand the food anymore.
Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I remember why Suga didn't want to be a girl like me.
I looked horrible.

The regret of who I was, and anger for not being able to give Suga what he wanted really made me cry even more.I was in an endless loop, where it was dark, no matter what I did.

I remember that I was tearing up another love story book when I saw my precious cousin in front of me.
She started to talk to me.
"(Y/N)..Hey... (Y/N)..."
I looked at her, but still didn't focus on what she was saying.

"Everyone is worried about you. They wanted to unlock the door and force you outside, but I took the key before they could." She said showing the key she had around her neck.

I looked away and continued to destroy the book. The sound of ripping paper filled the room.

Nari sat beside me, and looked at my actions.

I was just continuing to destroy the book as Nari kept watching me.
She sighted and got up.

"I think there is someone who you need to talk to, so, I going to let them in, Ok?"

Still concentrating on the book, Nari left, just like that.

Realizing that I was alone again made me cry.

I was so lonely without Suga. I didn't want to be alone.

Tears started to flow from my eyes again, making it harder to rip out the pages.

Suddenly I saw a bright light.
I looked over and saw a shadow come over.

The light disappeared just as fast as it appeared and I saw a figure in front of me.

"(Y/N)? What happened? What is all this?"
I looked up and met the face of the shadow.

"S-suga?"

Notes

Hi!
Don't judge me for updating this fast XD

I didn't expect to be sick, soo I had a lot of freetime.
I hope you liked this chapter.
This chapter kind of contains some of my dark moments, so it was good to let them go.

(I never destroyed a book, but really wanted to)