One Thing After Another

I knocked cautiously on my Uncle’s office door, admittingly knowing the worst could happen. With a long pause of silence I decided to open the door quietly. It’s hinges squeaking slightly as it swung open. I looked up from my downward eye line to see the look of utter disappointment on my Uncle’s face. My heart immediately sinking in hope. I walked in holding the edges of Dino’s jumper tightly in a fist. I miss him already. As I sat down in my usual sofa seat, he turned his computer’s monitor towards me.
“What is this news Haeun? I thought you took this job seriously?” He asked sternly as he pointed to the article with a picture of Hoshi and I on it.
“I do Uncle. This wasn’t all Hoshi, please don’t blame him,” I retorted back quickly hoping my nervousness wouldn’t show.
“Funny… he said the exact same thing about you when I met him a while ago,” he scoffed slightly. I looked at him quickly, before avoiding eye contact as to not come across as confrontational. Because in this position, do I even have to choice to fight back? Uncle sighed saying, “Haeun, maybe it’s time for you to move onto another group. Hoshi’s feelings for you could stop you from making a career.” He leaned back in his chair putting a hand to his forehead and rubbing therapeutically. My eyes widen at his words, my heart throbbing in my chest rapidly. At first I was sadden at the thought of leaving Seventeen, then I was slightly annoyed that all he could think to do was move on from the problem instead of facing it. I haven’t been very assertive in my life but I knew I couldn’t just forget this happened, especially since it involves my friends.
“So you’re saying i’m not allowed to be a relationship?” I furrowed my eyebrows slightly, letting him see I wasn’t happy at the suggestion of leaving.
“Well do you feel the same as Hoshi?” He asked. As much as I wanted to annoy my Uncle by saying I did like Hoshi, my nice side denied the idea.
“I wouldn’t know because he didn’t even tell me in person! In fact he told everyone but me it seems!” I said looking into my lap turning my annoyance towards Hoshi. As much as he was nice and comforting, you think he would have told me first.
“Let’s leave it at this Haeun, you can stay with Seventeen,” my Uncle stood up from his chair and walked around his desk. I stood up in excitement because he hadn’t asked me to leave Seventeen. “But you can’t join them on big public events. You’ll have to stay out of the public eye until they calm down.” He walked up next to me, standing taller than me, he placed a hand on my shoulder. I sighed under my breath looking down at my shoes both happy and disappointed.

Closing the door behind me I walked slowly down the corridor wondering how this was going to affect my school life. Seventeen fans will be all over me when I get there back on Monday. I sighed crossing my arms feeling useless in this position. Until a pair of feet caught my eyes. I looked up to see the wide eyes of Hoshi. I gulped a little as my heart sped up.
“Did you just see my Uncle?” I said as I uncrossed my arms.
“Are you leaving us?” He replied immediately back with a look of sad hope in his eyes.
“What?”
“The CEO, he said he was going to change who you were going to manage,” he said quietly, breaking our eye contact and looking at the floor instead. He shoved his hands in his jumper pockets.
“No, i’m staying, thankfully,” I said in relief just mentioning it. I had come to attach myself to these boys, especially Dino. The one standing in from of me as well. Hoshi looked back up to me with glimmer in his eyes, before quickly pulling me by my shoulders into a hug. I gasped a little in surprise, feeling taken aback.
“That’s a relief,” he said with his head tucked into my shoulder. My hands still awkwardly still in mid air, I wondered what to do with them. But by the time I’d worked up the courage to wrap them around his waist, he let go of me. With a little pink playing his cheeks we stood there in silence, wondering what to make of the hug. I was stuck with a big decision. Hoshi treated me so well, but I loved this job.
“I’m sorry you had to get that talking to from Dohyun,” I changed the subject while looking down to my feet. One of my hands clasping my other arm’s elbow.
“Haeunnie, I wouldn’t have said those things on television if I was going to regret it,” Hoshi said with a clear and honesty voice. Upon hearding this I looked back at Hoshi with a feeling of guilt lingering in me, while feeling honoured at the same time.
“I know Hoshi, but-“
“I don’t regret saying those things… because that’s really how I feel Haeunnie,” he confessed in a hushed tone. “I’m sorry as well though, even more than you are Haeun. I needed to say it somehow but I was stupid to think that there would be no consequences to a confession.” He grabbed the back of his arm like I had and I knew how honest, sincere and scarily genuine his words were. Before I knew it, looking into his eyes, I choked up once again. The soft smile playing on his lips making me feel so lucky to have a person like him around me. Any girl would be lucky to have him think of them the way he thinks of me.
“Hoshi… you are so nice,” I choked out in fragments, feeling a drop race down my cheek in urgency. I wiped it away with a finger, laughing at my state.
“Haeunnie, i’m sorry. Please don’t cry,” Hoshi said in a hushed tone, placing his hand on my shoulder and rubbing it calmingly.
“Well I’m sorry that I can’t tell you how I feel,” I said quietly looking up at Hoshi, "and you won’t be able to see me for a while.” Saying those words made a feeling of sadness build in me. Worrying about everyone else’s reaction to the news, I didn’t think about how I felt. I was going to miss those dorks. Hoshi smiled at me, showing his 10:10 eyes.
“You’ll be missed Haeunnie."

With Seventeen continuing their normal schedule, a little part of me felt out of place. I went to school, went to tutorials and went home. And the same thing the next day and the day after that. My mum had offered I stay home for a week, because of the news being spread. I should of taken the offer. The girls at school giving me almost the opposite reaction to when I went to the Pledis building to see my Uncle. Instead of launching themselves at me, they tried to keep as far away from me as possible. Instead of bombarding me with questions, they whispered insults to each other while giving me disgusted looks. News reporters even asking me at the gates of the school questions I knew none of the answers to.
“Are you and Hoshi really dating?”
“Tell me, what kind of manager dates who they’re managing?”
It felt like I was back in primary school. The bullies there asked me just as pressing and hurtful questions as they did. Because of my experience in being the victim, I almost wasn’t surprised by the reactions I got from girls at school. But what hurt me more was my one friend I actually had. She was a fan of Seventeen, and along with everyone else she ignored me. Not replying when I tried talking to her, or even sitting next to me at lunch or in class. I truly was alone.

I bused straight home without attending the tutorial that day feeling an overwhelming feeling of despair after Jaehwa sunbae had texted me asking if we could meet up. Worried of being noticed by people, I wore a snapback and a hoodie to the cafe she suggested. Finding her in the corner table of the cafe, away from most of the people, I sighed a little in relief as I walked over. Jaehwa sunbae always knew how to handle these sort of situations. She knew to stay quiet and to take the table furthest away from people. I just wish I was more like her in that way.
I sat down across the booth from her taking my hoodie off, "Hello eonni."
“You’re a little late,” she said adjusting herself in her seat with her hands on her coffee cup.
“Sorry, I was trying to avoid crowds of people,” I said playing both my hands together on the table, slightly nervously.
“Well since I’m supposed to be at a dinner soon, I’ll be quick about this,” she started as she grabbed the attention of my eyes onto hers, “you should stay mutual with Seventeen.” I blinked a couple times, wondering what she meant. I wasn’t actually dating Hoshi, who and what was she referring to?
“How am I supposed to do my job if I don’t know who they are?” I asked her in response.
“I’m just worried is all. There’s been so many eyes on you already because of something Hoshi said on TV,” she sat back in her seat, crossing her arms as she spoke, “and I’ve noticed how close you and Dino have become.” The mention of Chan’s name brought my eyes onto Jaehwa’s feeling oddly guilty. With my cheeks warming up as well. I knew we’d been acting close and others had noticed, by Jaehwa sunbae noticed too?
“Channie and I? We’re just friends,” I sat back too, scoffing at the thought, hoping to trick her. Jaehwa raised an eyebrow at me, not buying my lies. “What?!” I said defensively blinking quickly.
“Managers aren’t supposed to be friends,” she said shaking her head slightly.
“Eonni, why are you telling me all this?” I asked her out of curiosity. She could have easily not have cared about me as all the girls at school had, or at least shown her distaste in me by now.
“Because I don’t want to see you go. You’ve got talent, you know. That’s why your Uncle is looking out for you,” she said sitting upright again playing with the coffee cup in her hands. As she kept her eyes on mine, I knew she was being honest. I looked around the the cafe noticing the decorations of the wall.
“Wouldn’t exactly call it ‘looking out’ for me,” I sighed out looking at my hands in thought. A phone notification sound going off, brought both of our attention to her phone.
“Look, I have to be somewhere, and you have a decision on your hands. Is it business? Or feelings?” She said checking the text and grabbing her bag ready to leave. I nodded in response keeping my head down as we both stood up. "I’ll see you around, okay?” She said looking me in the eyes once more before turning around and walking out. I bowed her off and then sat down in the booth for a second, to think about what she had proposed me.

Hoshi treated me so nicely, making a smile appear on the worst of my days. But this job was my everything. A lot of teenagers either don’t know what they want to be, or their parents have made that choice for them already. I was lucky to have found mine already.

Though this job has made meeting Seventeen possible, meeting Hoshi possible… meeting Dino possible.

Notes

omg this update took me years oml i'm so sorry guys
i would make an excuse for this tardiness but i legit don't have one so sorrryyyy
thank you for sticking with me though and i'll try beat my procrastinating self
FIGHTING!
ok bai