One Thing After Another

I open my mouth to say the the phrase,”I’m home.” As I usually do when I enter the house, though I retracted from saying the phrase. The Seventeen shoot went for so long, and there was even a small meeting about the upcoming Seventeen schedule I had to attend. My phone read 10:30pm as I stepped through the hallway to the kitchen. Carefully watching that my every step didn’t make a noise, I peeped around the corner to the dining table to see my mother sleeping just as I had been in the morning. I sighed at the sight of her, feeling an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and guilt. I always wondered why she adopted me, and why she always worried over me. When I was little I didn’t like to think of her as my mother, because I knew someone else was.
I didn’t look like the other kids at school, it was clear to me at a young age that I was adopted. I pushed her away so many years.
And here she was sleeping uncomfortably on the dinner table waiting for me to come home. I walked up to her and looked at her while deciding whether to wake her or not. I lightly shook my hand on her shoulder whispering, “mum.”
Slowly she woke up and realising it was me she yawned out, “Haeunnie, you’re finally home.” I sighed once again feeling more guilt than I had before. I sat down in the seat next to her, and seating myself so I could face her.
“Mum, please don’t wait up like this. You need sleep too,” I grabbed my mother’s hands and gave them a soft squeeze.
“I know Haeunnie, but I can’t stop my worry,” she said smiling at me lovingly, squeezing back. “I just wanted to see your face before I went to bed.” She softly cupped my head and kissed my forehead softly. I smiled back at her thinking of all the crisis’ she got me through. She thought I was the most beautiful, intelligent person there was, even when I denied it all.
I raided the fridge for some snacks before heading off to my room. Starting to stuff a muesli bar in my mouth, I collapsed onto my bed back first. A few peaceful moments went by then of me eating my bar and calmly staring at the ceiling in silence… before my phone suddenly vibrated against my stomach, as it was lying in my pocket. Jaehwa sunbae? I unlock my phone and open the text message.
Jaehwa: Have you been feeling okay?
Haeun: I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be?
I replied back, not feeling fully fine but I never admit to that.
Jaehwa: You were late today. You’re never late to anything.
I re-read the text a few times feeling a little transparent. I didn’t know Jaehwa sunbae noticed that much about me. My phone buzzed once again, bringing me out of my thought.
Jaehwa: Look after yourself okay? Don’t let Dohyun sunbae disrespect you. I know you wouldn’t have taken the job if it weren’t for your Uncle pressing it against you. But hey, it’s only a few months right?
My heart dropped a little. It was only a few months wasn’t it? How could I have forgotten, and why did I feel sad about it?
Haeun: Thank you for worrying about me sunbae. It’s late, we should go to bed. Good night!
I replied back cutting the conversation short. Mainly because I was tired but partially because I didn’t want to talk about leaving Seventeen.
Jaehwa: Goodnight Haeunnie, and when I say goodnight, I mean go to bed. Go to sleep. Don’t go straight to your desk after you see this!
I stared at the text. Heol. How did she know I was about to go study?

The Seventeen schedule continued intensely as they were promoting and performing everywhere it seemed. I had less and less time to sleep or just rest my brain from thinking of things. There being all of thirteen boys in one dressing room, focussing on this homework wasn’t the easiest.
The boys doing a V live broadcast were joking and laughing loudly, leaving me in the corner of the room to want to cover my ears. I’d been stuck on this question for ten minutes just trying to comprehend it with the immense noise the boys were making. Don't get me wrong, i’m glad they’re having fun.
I read over the question once again hoping they’d quiet down. ‘At one stage during this investigation, the acid in the bea-‘ A huge uproar of laughter from the boys broke my attention. I sighed deeply, deciding I needed to move. I got up from the floor holding my books and pencil case, walking across the room in a way that I wouldn’t get in the V app broadcast, to Jaehwa sunbae. “Jaehwa Eonni, is it okay if I step out for a while?” I whispered to her, "I’m trying to study but the boys are-."
“That’s okay Haeun, you go ahead, I’ll stay with the boys,” she said as she looked up to me from her book she was reading. A little empathetic smile came across her face and I smiled and bowed back.

I closed the dressing room door behind me and sat down at the bench just across the hallway from it, opening up my books and getting into a comfortable position. The quiet hallway calmed me down as I finally answered the question, moving swiftly on to the next ones.
“Eunnie~,” a voice said coming from my right. I jumped as I realised who it was sitting next to me.
“Dino! I mean, Channie, I didn’t see you come,” I said adjusting myself on the seat and closing my book to focus on him.
“Ah… sorry,” he said scratching the back of his neck sheepishly and smiling at me.
“No need to be sorry,” I shook my head, smiling. I wonder why he’s here? He could be in the V app broadcast right now if he wanted.
“No I mean about us being loud. I could see you were studying,” he said gesturing to the books in my lap. "It must be difficult to study and manage. I mean if anyone in that room understands it would be me. I perform and study.” He said as he kept his eyes on me. I knew Dino was my age and had to study just like me, but...
“Yeah, but you make it all look so easy,” I said looking down into my lap, slightly jealous of how Dino was able to pull it all off.
“No i’m just as tired as you are sometimes.” He said shaking his head. I looked back to him and smiled a little, feeling a little relatable to him. The corners of his mouth lifting up slowly in response. He blinked slowly at me, making my heartbeat rise as it did around him. “Can I suggest the rooftop? It’s not that windy today so it’ll be really quiet up there,” he pointed to the roof as he suggested the idea to me.
“Really?! That would be amazing! Thank you Channie!” I closed up all my books and pencil case smiling. I stood up and Dino did as well. “I’ll umm… get going there then. Text me if anything starts to happen! Thank you again Channie~!” I walked backwards smiling down the hallway waving at Dino. He stood there and waved back grinning. I eventually turned around and started to walk up the stairs. It was at least fourty to fifty minutes until they had to perform, giving me plenty of study time.

Sitting on a ledge my feet dangled off sightly, I’d been studying for around ten minutes calmly until someone entered my chosen study spot.
“Announg~” A voice from behind me said cheerfully. I jumped a little in my position, letting out a little yelp in surprise. My pencil dropping out of my hand due to the jump. I turned my torso around to see the familiar 10:10 clock eyes I adored. I sighed realising it wasn’t a complete stranger.
“Hi Hoshi! What are you doing out here?” I smiled at Hoshi already feeling relaxed just with his presence here.
“Just wanted some fresh air, you?” He jogged around the square ledge that sat on the rooftop, picked up my pencil and sat down next to me. He offered me the pencil back with his eyes wide.
“I got work from school… not much fun sadly,” I took the pencil back brushing his hand slightly, giving him a sarcastic looking smile. I looked back down at the maths question I was stuck on, sighing at it.
“You been having a hard time?” He asked with sincerity in his voice. I looked back up at him, wondering how he knew how I was feeling. I looked so long at him in silence he continued on, “you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, I just know we are a hand full,” he said swinging his legs off the ledge cheerfully.
“No it’s okay Hoshi-,” I sighed looking out over the rooftop into the sky, only to be interrupted by Hoshi.
“Call me Soonyoung, even Oppa if you want.” he suggested smiling at me. His 10:10 eyes making my heart race at how real, and how cute they were.
“Soonyoung Oppa… sounds nice,” I tried the name out smiling as I said it. It rolled off my tongue so easily. “Why are you Seventeen members so caring for me? Shouldn’t it be the other way round?” I asked both seriously and jokingly, causing the conversation to die out to silence. I sighed looking at the view from the rooftop, trying hard not to forget all the little things I had to remember all tucked into my brain.
“Haeunnie, if you’re having a hard time just know, you’re not alone,” Hoshi said after a long silence. I looked at him as he said this, to see the same serious look on his face from when I told him I was used to bullying. The look in his eyes was not one I’d seen on him on stage or on television, and it made my heart flutter in speed.
“That’s easy for you to say, you’re always so happy,” I replied back quietly, keeping eye contact with him. A smile grew on his face slowly, a concerned smile.
“Not always…”
I furrowed my eyebrows, still with my eyes on his and his on mine. Not always? You mean this happy-go-lucky person gets angry and upset too? I opened my mouth to reply back when my phone buzzed in my pocket, dragging both Hoshi and mine’s attention off each other and to the sound. I pulled it out to see a notification with Dino’s name on it. I opened it up, realising something might be happening back at the dressing room.
Dino: Eunnie Manager! We’re about to get ready for the interview and rehearsal.
After reading the text, I turn back to Hoshi to come face to face with him. His face inches away from mine. I mistakingly looked into his eyes, getting almost stuck on them. My heart beat speeding up, I blurted out, “If you’re having a hard time too, I’m here. I can listen really well and relate to problems like stress.” After a few seconds of Hoshi inching his face closer to mine, he paused and laughed after hearing what I had said. He stood up dusting his hands off.
“So cute,” he whispered to himself, as I stood up too.
“What?” I questioned what’s he’d said, but he replied with a head shake, dismissing it. “We should head back, they’re about to start,” I said walking back to the door with Hoshi in tow.

“Okay guys, there’s five minutes till we head on set. Make sure you’ve had a drink and are ready,” I told The8 and Dino as I checked my phone for the time. Both nodded in response and returning to their conversation. Back in the dressing room, I walked over to Jun and Mingyu who were grazing over some foods on a table set out. “Five minutes till we leave for set guys,” I said as I scanned the table for a snack as well.
“You think she knows?” Jun said as I grabbed a chocolate. I turned my head to the two boys wondering if they were talking about me. Both of them staring at me, told me they were.
“Knows what?” I said popping the chocolate out of it’s wrapper and into my mouth.
“Of course she would! Wouldn’t she?” Mingyu said in certainty to Jun, hitting his arm softly.
"What are you two talking about?” I asked once again. Both looked at me as if I was supposed to clearly know what they were talking about without having any context.
“You know…” Jun started but didn’t finish. I blinked at them wondering if they were actually going to give me any context or not. Was this common knowledge I was suppose to know? I’m quite knowledgable but I had no idea what they were talking about.
“No I don’t know,” I said clearly so they understood. Both boys looked at each other with slight surprise on their faces.
“Do we tell her?” Jun turned to Mingyu and whispered with worry in his face. I began to feel like I wasn’t supposed to know what they were talking about, so I focussed on the food.
“No Soonyoung hyung should tell her!” Mingyu whispered back to Jun.
“Soonyoung?” I whispered to myself. What would he have to tell me?
“Seventeen! Time to go to set,” Dohyun sunbae rang out through the dressing room, bringing my attention back to my job. I pushed the thought to the back of my head and disregarded it temporarily.

If he needed to tell me something, I should wait for him to come to me… right?

Notes

long time no seeee
finally got around to finishing this chapter (i've been a bit behind with christmas around the corner)!
Hoping you are all enjoying this festive time round some family and friends, and like this chapter!
Until the next chapter, stay safe and healthy! Don't do anything I wouldn't do ;)
BAIIII