Seven

*2 Days Prior*

The day after that was just another average day in the 3rd ring. I was wandering around after having come back from another drop off. Coke of some sort for the bum who lives outside of the hair salon. He always manages to buy the largest amount of drugs but never manages to leave his spot outside of the salon or change his clothes. I don’t know where he’s getting the money.

It might have been around noon and since that vile woman was still going to be gone for another day I decided to give myself the rest of the day off to relax. Also since she was gone, it meant that we were on our own for food until she got back. Luckily we had some frozen meats and a few...decent enough to eat vegetables lying around, so I could make some kind of dinner with what we had. If she had left some money we could have just ordered delivery, but of course, we don’t get that luxury.

As expected almost none of the kids were inside when I returned nor was there food money, and I could only hope they were hanging out with their friends and not getting in to trouble. It was early in the day, but I figured if I made the food now they could warm it up later as they all came home. I set out the meat to thaw, and turned on the stove under a pot of water and chicken broth. I went to work slicing up some carrots for what I decided would be chicken soup.

Taking care of all of these younger boys wasn't my responsibility. In fact, Momma actually hated it when I took it upon myself to help one of the boys, but that doesn't mean I was going to leave them to fucking starve and get killed while she sat on her ass.

Lost in my irritated thoughts I accidentally cut in to my thumb with the blunt knife. I hurriedly pull the bleeding extremity away from the food and rinse it off in the sink. It bled way worse than it actually felt, but I could almost definitely see a bit of bone. Little rivers of red washed down the drain.

After wrapping a paper towel around it I went to work searching for some kind of bandage. I knew that we had them more or less lying around all over to place due to the amount of injuries that occurred around here. As soon as I found the cabinet that held the box of plain bandages, the door to the kitchen swung open, banging into the wall rather loudly; I was greeted by none other than my best friend.

"Honey, I'm home!" He called out with a wide catlike grin. His arms were spread open as if gesturing for me to run in to them for a hug. I looked at him briefly and scoffed before returning to taking down my Band-Aid box.

"Tao why are you here right now?" I asked him monotonously. I was happy to see him, but his sudden presence could have led to trouble had I not been here alone. This wasn’t the first time he'd just busted in like he lives here, which he doesn't, and the last time he snuck in through the front door instead of the upstairs window he nearly got caught.

"Wow, nice to see you too." He muttered while situating himself on the counter next to the food. "And for your information, Joshua told me that she wasn't here, so I decided to pay my second favorite person a visit." He surveyed the kitchen in silence while I sit the box down next to the sink.

"And who exactly is your favorite person?" I asked, humoring him since I already knew his answer.

"Um, me of course." He said as if it’s obvious. As expected. King Tao is the self-declared best thing to happen to the 3rd ring.

"Shocker..." I whispered to myself as I turned my back to him so that I could use the sink again. I heard him jump off the counter, he landed on his feet, and then closed the distance between us to look over my shoulder. His torso and pelvis making contact with my behind and back.

“Yah! What did I tell you about coming to find me when you get hurt?” he said while lightly grabbing my wrist and examining the wound.

“I’m fine. It’s just a small cut. Stop worrying over nothing.” I ran the water again and let him guide it to the faucet. The spaces where our bodies touched were warm, and I didn’t mind the fact that he was closer than a “friend” should technically be. When I sucked in a breath at the slight sting from the water on flesh, Tao had the audacity to chuckle.

“Sounds like it hurts.” He quipped.

“Fuck off Tao.”

"Okay, June."

"I don’t know why you're saying my name like that as if you weren't the one who gave it to me."

"Yeah but you're the lame ass who accepted it." He retorted. He had a point. I hesitated as I tried to think of a witty response, but I was stumped. He let go of my wrist and I took out a Band-Aid and peeled off the adhesive papers on the back. He stepped back slightly.

"You're right. You win this time." I conceded. I could feel him smiling at my response even without looking up from wrapping my finger.

It's true that Tao gave me a name. My current name. It was back when we first met and I almost slit his throat thinking he was going to attack me. Now, the encounter itself wasn't all that exciting. It was around 4 years prior and I was on the way back from stealing snacks and fruit like I'd been doing for a while when he ran into me in an alley way. Neither of us had been paying attention to our surroundings if I’m honest, but I was scared and I pinned him up against the building with my knife against his throat. I wasn't going to be attacked by some mutant in broad daylight if I could help it. It didn’t help that he’s a fucking tree and his dark eye bags make him look like some kind of assassin.

He didn’t struggle, he just held his hands up against the wall innocently and apologized for bumping in to me. He wasn't watching where he was going he said. He told his name was Tao and I relaxed because I could tell he wasn’t a mutt. He was human.

He asked me my name and when I told him I didn’t have one he asked me what month it was instead. It was a dumbass question and in hindsight I should have known where he was headed with that. It was June at the time and that is what he decided to call me. It was a lame way to choose my name, but he was the first to want to call me by an actual name so I took it on as my own; somehow I haven't been able to get rid of him since.

I'd run in to him everywhere after that. Somehow in this huge faction he’d manage to find and run in to me almost every day. I assumed it was intentional, he swore it wasn’t at first but I’m convinced that it always was.

As we became friendlier if he didn’t see me on any given day he'd sneak into the orphanage. It drove me crazy at first and I kind of wished that I had cut him in that alley, but the genuine attention was a breath of fresh air. And as much as I hate to admit it, I became really fond of the boy I almost stabbed quickly.

Tao became my home in a way. He was the place I liked to retreat to when the world was too much, and I was his. Tao was a lot of my firsts as well, which probably didn’t help the dependence I had formed on him. He was my first crush at the tender age of 15, my first consensual kiss not even a year later, my first love, and he was the first person I had sex with that I actually wanted to have sex with, we were 16.

Our relationship had a complicated background, but being around each other was always simple. We enjoyed each other’s company, and we always had each other’s backs. Even with our romantic past, we carried on as best friends. I think we both still harbored some rather non innocent feelings for one another (well at least I did), but we decided to put our friendship first and stuck with being in a kind of platonic relationship.

He was still a little shit, and he was still clingy as hell, but I welcomed it. He was probably the only person able to see passed the bitchy front I tended to put up for the world, and it was nice to let it down every now and then. It also helped that he gave up the chance to hurt me when could have easy kicked my little ass in the alley that first day. Tao knows how to fight, and according to him my little knife really wasn’t that intimidating for an experienced fighter like himself.

"Hey..." He started, pulling me out of my drifting thoughts. A small smile had settled on my face at the memories and I shook my head to clear them. I ignored him and returned to cutting up the now thawed chicken on the counter for the soup. "June. Hey. I want to tell you something." Tao talking, and me ignoring him has become a routine. He, more times than not, has something stupid to say and he just wants me to react or give him some kind of attention. And unless I plan on teasing him, I will usually give him the attention he wants. "Okay I know you're listening, but it’s rude not to look at someone when they're talking to you. You know that right?" He said.

I put the cut up chicken and carrots in the boiling pot and turn the heat down a bit. Finally I gave him the eye contact that he's wanted. Even though he's a shit, I can never stay mad at him for long. He’s my shit after all.

"What is it now my precious little child?" I cooed mockingly.

"Can we go upstairs and talk? I kind of want to lie down." He admitted, ignoring my tone. I looked at the pot one more time before turning back to him and holding out my hand. He grabs it in his warm one and I guided him upstairs. Once we reached my cot he fell back, the cot letting out a grating squeak, and spread his long limbs out across my little bed. I found myself on the ground next to him with my legs crossed under me.

"Okay, did you actually have anything you wanted to say, or were you just trying to get my attention?" He turned his head to look at me and then let out a sigh.

"You know me too well." He said before letting out a yawn. "I just missed you."

"You saw me literally not even 48 hours ago."

"I know but it was more than 24 hours and so it feels like it's been a week. No one will shower me in affection like you do."

"...But I don't?"

"Your snarky comments come off as anger and annoyance to the untrained ear, but I know it's just your way of hiding how much you love me. And so I take it as your affection." He said while leaning over the bed and jabbing his finger in to my side. I let out a sound of dissatisfaction and squirmed away from his long limbs and digits. "Can I stay here tonight?" He asked after a moment.

I thought about it and cringed at how many bodies are usually in the room. It was always unusually warm even for July with all of our collective bodies. Adding Tao would have been just too much. "Mm I'm not sure about that. You know how many of us stay in here, and you're like the size of 3 kids. I'm not even sure if the boys will be okay with you here and-"

"Come on! Please! I won't take up space. I'll be sleeping in your bed and I just want to be held. We can cuddle. It's so cold at night and it’s been so long." He whined. He leaned over and grabbed on to the sleeve of my shirt while widening his eyes and letting a pout grace his features. God I hated it when he does that. It’s like kryptonite for even the stoniest of hearts.

"What are you? Five years old? Why are you so dramatic..." I faded off while swatting his hands off of my shirt before he stretched it out more than it already was.

"So I'll take that as a yes." He said with a sneaky smile. His eyes shone happily. I cross my arms and look at his now hopeful face.

"...Fine. You can stay tonight. But you need to be gone first thing tomorrow morning okay?" I told him with a finger pointing at his face. He let out a whoop and clapped his large hands.

"That's perfect. I have to go back home tomorrow anyway." He said. "Thank you! I love you, you know that right?"

"Yeah yeah I know. And I love you too. I need to go finish cooking dinner though. Do you want to join me, or are you going to lie here until I'm done?" I asked while standing up. He yawned again and said he'll take a nap while I finish up. I fluffed his black hair and he resituated himself on my cot. While he got comfy I headed back downstairs to finish the task that he interrupted.

After putting in the noodles, I let it cook longer, and soon enough the soup was done. The boys who returned home early were nearly ecstatic at the smell of food. They quickly fixed themselves a bowl and I put the rest in the fridge for later. The rest would know where to look when they got back. I sat in the lounge area of the house and took it upon myself to turn on the old television that we have. A show with subtitles was on and I watched it blindly, not interested enough to actually read what they are saying. A solid 5 episodes passed before the sun finally set.

When it got dark outside I looked out of the window and saw the street lights turning on even though the advertisement boards are bright enough on their own. I headed back upstairs and was met with Tao talking to 6 year old Joshua. Joshua was sitting in Tao's lap on my bed and Tao was reading him one of the e-books that we’d saved on the house tablet. When the two of them saw me, Joshua leapt out of Tao's lap and ran over to me. He took my hand in his own and pulled me over to sit across from them on my squeaky mattress. Joshua sat back in Tao’s lap and proceeded to read out the sentences that he knew to me; Tao filled in where he got stuck. It was terribly cute and I smiled wider than I'd like to, but I couldn’t help it. The scene was just too much and I wished that I owned a camera so that I could take a picture of them.

It was both sweet and saddening to see the scene in front of me. Now at 19 years old, I’d begun to think about what my future will hold. What it could have held. If I was a mutant, would I be in school? Would I have a boyfriend? If we hadn’t met in these circumstances in another life, would Tao and I be together? Would we have parents that would lend us money for dates? Would we sneak around late at night to meet up without out our parent’s consent like they do in the shows on TV? Would one of had confessed to the other shyly? Would we have gone to school dances together? Gone to a movie theater, gone to get ice cream, gone to a park and just have enjoyed each other’s company? In a few years would we be married and have kids of our own? Chubby kids who are well fed and happy?

Would we be happy?

Tao looked up from the tablet and called out my name softly. I looked away from Joshua’s soft reading, and my dreamy thoughts vanished when I realized that none of that is possible. Tao seemed to sense my change in expression and told Joshua to go find another good book on the tablet downstairs. We both knew that he’d be distracted for at least 15 minutes finding something to his liking if he left the room.

"June..." He started.

"Tao..." I mimicked. Looking at him I could tell that he actually had something serious to say, and I was already afraid of what was about to come out of his mouth.

"I- uh...look..."

"Spit it out. I don't have all day." I told him lightly. The thoughts that I had lingered around in my mind and I didn’t like to see Tao as distressed as he looked. In another life, would this have been when he would have told me that he was in love with me?

He frowned and his eyebrows creased together as he tried to gather his words. He looked down at his hands and then took in a large breath. When he looked back into my eyes he looked more serious than I ever thought he was capable of being. Now, I was terrified of what he wanted to say. He waited for half a second before he finally spilled what he'd been struggling to get out.

"What if I told you I could get you out of here?" I froze at his words and searched his eyes for a sign that he was joking. We used to joke around about running off together and escaping in to the woods where no one could find us, but that was back when we were still young and dumb. Coming up with fantasies to escape to when our reality became too much. We had long abandoned those juvenile thoughts, well we were supposed to. And yes, I had just imagined life outside of the 3rd ring or at least outside of this shitty part of town, but the fact of the matter was that the thoughts were just that. Thoughts. We were both stuck here. There isn’t a way out.

"...What?" I asked after a while. We both stared at one another for about a minute and then he broke both eye contact and the silence.

“I…know a guy. I’ve been living at his house for years now and he said that he could get you out of here. And before you freak out you should know I trust him. Listen to me. Okay, June, listen to me. You could come with me and get away from this place and live with us. He- He wants to fix all of this and you can help and-” I closed my eyes and shook my head.

“Get out.” I interrupted. He stopped talking and I opened my eyes at the silence. “Stop talking. And leave.” I stood up and backed away from him. The room quieted, and I knew the other boys in the room had stopped what they were doing to stare at the two of us. I didn’t care.

He’s a scout. I told myself. He’d been a scout this whole time. He was just befriending me so that he could help in selling me off to someone.

“June…”

“LEAVE.” I shouted. I grabbed my shoulders and felt my body starting to shut down. I started to tremble. In anger or fear I wasn’t sure. But I didn’t trust him. I wouldn’t trust him right now. He stood up as well and took a step towards me, I put my hands out to protect myself from him. As if it’d do much.

“He’s really my friend. I’m serious I’m not trying to trick you or anything please don’t do this. Don’t-”

“Get. The fuck. Out. I don’t want to see you right now you fucking traitor.” My chest heaved up and down and the tears started to fall. He stood there without moving or making a sound and a distressed sob slipped from my mouth.

“I…I won’t pressure you about it tonight, but tomorrow I’ll come back to talk to you about it and see if you’ve changed your mind. I’ll leave now, but I’m not trying to trick you, I promise. I care about you so much and he- I just want to help. I uh, I know my way out.” He left after staring at me for another second and walked down the stairs.

My hands found their way to my hair and I grabbed the strands in order to try and ground myself back in to reality. He wouldn’t lie to me right? We’ve been friends for years. Why would he say something like this right now? I didn’t understand. I lied down on my cot and quietly cried myself to sleep. Completely blocking out the rest of the world around me.

Notes