Seven

The first few weeks of my existing (I don’t want to say living because then that would mean that I actually live here) inside of the castle go by quickly, and as I anticipated it was rough as fuck.

I found myself, at any given chance, trying to stay inside of my room. After looking around the castle I did kind of want to go and play around in some of the rooms, but I was afraid of breaking anything by accident. Since each individual thing in this place is worth around 12 of my soul, I figure that staying in my room is for the best. A safe alternative you could call it.

Since my room is basically a house in itself, not leaving isn’t all that much of a problem. I could probably hide in the room for at least a month no problem if food wasn’t, you know, something I need to survive. Actually, getting up to leave the room feels more like a hassle than staying basically locked up in the large ass suite.

My breakfast, lunch, and dinner are brought to my room each day like clockwork by different human boys if I don’t go to the kitchen myself to get it. I can’t look at them, and they are in and out quick enough to not interact with me. My heart hurts every time I see them.

As for the days where I do leave for meals, I go to the kitchen, eat, and then come back. Unsurprisingly, no one in the castle eats together outside of when we’re all called to the dining table. It’s all so weirdly lonely. It’s only happened twice since my ‘welcome dinner’ and both were just as uncomfortable as the first. There were no performances, but the Gaia chatter was just as lively as ever.

And just as degrading to Charmers.

I sat and listened only partially. I wanted to know what they were saying, but I didn’t want to be invested enough in it for it to fully hurt my feelings. Sehun stood at my side at both the other dinners and could hear it all just as clearly as I could. I think that I was offended enough by their words for the both of us.

Every morning a Charmer comes to take me to the Queen’s room. It’s always around 10 in the morning when he knocks on my door; around right after she wakes up. I’ll leave my room and walk behind the Charmer to hers. Same time. Same guy. Same route. The Queen says that having me with her in the mornings comforts her. Usually I will sit beside her or in her lap (if she’s feeling especially clingy) where she will play with my hair while talking about what it is that she has to do for the day. She narrates her plans as if to remind herself, and I sit and listen to her mostly in silence. I’m never sure what to do with all of this information. Shouldn’t she be keeping this type of stuff to herself? I feel like I know her schedules better than she does at this point.

For example, on Mondays she usually flies out to other parts of the world to show her face and hold service announcements for the important Gaia in that part of the kingdom. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, she is driven out to work on reviewing laws and things with her most trusted advisors in the outlining cities. Thursdays and Fridays she holds meetings within the castle for the entire day. I’ve seen the numerous people coming in and out of the palace all day. She’s said that they just sit and converse with her about things that pertain to the kingdom. Overall behavior, cases of terrorism, threats to her rule, and things that are going well. On Saturday she seems to be off. She spends a good amount of time within her room relaxing and calling me in to entertain her on that day.

Sundays are reserved for meetings with specific advisors stationed in different parts of the kingdom. She leaves for most of the day just to go and meet with those people.

The Charmer that comes to get me (whose name I still haven’t managed to catch) is pretty tall, and like really well built. So well-built that I bet he could snap my arm like a twig without any use of magic. Like the others he wears no shirt, but unlike the others he has intricate black tattoos drawn on his already dark skin. Swirls and stars and words that I don’t know the meanings of. I try to avoid staring too long at his chiseled and inked upper body because I am a lady with respect for others.

Even if he is one of the sexiest men I’ve ever seen in my life and I would love to see what he’s packing.

We stop outside of Queen Yongsun’s room and he bows. “The Queen will see you now.” He announces. I nod my head in acknowledgement and open the doors to the Queen’s suite. As expected she is sitting up in her bed fresh out of sleep, but still looking ready rule a kingdom.

She rubs her eyes and a sleepy smile stretches across her face, “Good morning baby girl.”

I awkwardly wave my hand. “Morning.”

My feet carry me over to her bed and I sit cross-legged in front of her. She ruffles my hair affectionately. “How did you sleep?”

“I slept fine. My stomach started to hurt last night though, so I woke up early this morning after not being able to fall back asleep.”

“Oh no, do you need to go to the infirmary? Should I call you a doctor? Are you still hurt?” her eyes widen and all traces of sleep vanish from her demeanor. Her warm hands cup my cheeks as she stares into my eyes deeply.

“No, no. I’m fine now. I just had stomach cramps for some reason. I’m okay.” I pull away slightly, and she catches that I want her to let me go. The distance is short lived because soon enough she is cooing and pulling me to her chest in a hug.

“Aw you precious little child you. Your poor stomach woke you up from your sleep, my poor baby.” I close my eyes and groan aloud at her behavior. She only laughs. I swear she must be like 12 years old. Her personality oozes naivety and cuteness and although it seems as though she is thorough at her job, I can’t help but wonder how old the girl actually is.

“I’m 122.” She says with a smile. Fuck, did I ask that aloud? My mouth drops at the large number. Well now it makes sense why she treats me like a fucking child. I’m basically a fetus compared to her. I don’t have nearly as much life experience as she does. I don’t have nearly as much anything as her.

I don’t have powers, I don’t have strength, and I’m basically stuck here in this place.

Maybe that’s why she doesn’t care that she’s sharing this information with me. I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone even if I wanted to.

“I’m sure you have lots of questions little one. We’ll talk when I’m done with today’s meeting with my consultants.” Today is a Thursday. “We’ve got another large meeting in the grand hall. I’ve gotten word that a lot has happened since the last meeting.” She stands up off the bed and stretches her arms high in the air. “Would you like to join??” she asks.

“Um…well if you want me to go then yes. I cannot turn down an offer like this from you, your majesty.” I say bowing my head respectfully. She is silent, and wondering if she’s walked off I will myself to look back up.

Her expression has hardened, and I can feel the anger radiating off of her. What did I do now?

“Solar. I’ve told you to call me by my name, Solar. You’ve been here for over a month, and yet you’re still addressing me as if you have no say in what happens to you here. I’ve told you countless times that you are free to roam the premises within the boundaries I’ve given you, and that you are free to behave as you want so long as it follows my few rules. I want you to be comfortable here god dammit!” She ends up shouting the latter end of her sentence and the room shakes violently. I pull my legs up and cower away from the angry woman in order to protect myself.

What is her power? Why is she so irrationally angry at me being…at me behaving the way anyone is supposed to behave in the presence of the Queen?

She starts to pace to room to release some of her anger. I stare at her just as scared as when she blew up at me a few seconds ago. I know now to definitely not get on the Queen’s bad side. Whatever power it is that she has is not a force to be reckoned with.

Why is she so fucking concerned with getting close to me and making me comfortable here? I don’t get what the motive is, and I don’t know what to do about it. She’s a Gaia. They’re assholes. Why is my wellbeing so important to her? I’m supposed to be a pet.

“Look,” she sighs, runs a hand through her hair, and then kneels back in front of me. Maybe she finally realized that she just fucking terrified me. “, I just want you to be comfortable here. I know that it’s hard to get accustomed to life in here and I’m just trying to make it easier on you. Everyone here isn’t kind, and everything done here isn’t wonderful, but I just want you to understand that I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

I listen intently.

“Outside of my own direct word, you can do and say whatever you want baby.” Her hands come up to caress my cheeks. “I don’t know what I have to do to prove to you that I’m being genuine, but I just want you to trust me. I want you to love me. I can tell that you’re reluctant to allow yourself to be who you truly are around me, but I want you to be yourself. I know it may take some time, but I hope to prove to you that I can be someone whom you can trust confidently.” She says. I soften at her words. Whatever the reason, she really wants me to like her. She really wants me to like being here.

It all sounded creepily similar to what I told Sehun if I’m honest.

She won’t hurt me? So far she hasn’t. In the past month or so of existing in this place I think I’ve done plenty worth being killed over. And yet I’m still here. Alive and well and uninjured.

Just a few days ago I accidently cursed when the one of the Gaia bumped into me in the hall. The girl herself wasn’t very upset over it, she thought my slip of tongue was adorable (some of these women actually see me as a child, I’m ready to fight about it), but that wasn’t the issue. I had done that when the Queen was within earshot.

And then before that, the whole Moonbyul thing happened. I shouldn’t have been able to talk to her the way I did without punishment, but the Queen only laughed after finding out what happened. She thought the whole interaction was funny. Apparently her cousin has a history of being overly conscious of following the rules and keeping Charmers in their right place.

I can only assume she means to say that she’s a harsh owner.

Other times when I’ve slipped up and the guards or Gaia were ready to take me she would speak out. I’m learning, she says. I’m just a baby, she would tell them. If it was going to keep me from getting killed, then I’ll admit to being a baby all day.

I search her face to see if I can find any hint of untruthfulness, but all I can see is earnest honesty on her perfect face. I lick my lips nervously before I nod my head. “I believe you. I will…I will try harder, Solar.”

Her smile returns and she places her lips on my own for a chaste kiss. I sit in a stunned silence when she pulls away. “Go back to your room now baby. I’ll have your breakfast sent up soon.” With a final grin, she walks to her bathroom to get ready for her day. I stand up stupefied.

What kind of relationship is it that she’s trying to form exactly?

“What?”

“I said put on a shirt. Sehun wears one in here, and you should too.”

“Why? I’m fine without it-”

“Jongin, just put on the damn shirt.” I throw him one of the many male shirts that I now have in my closet. After I told Solar that I’d prefer if Sehun got to wear the clothes that I wanted, she dedicated a whole section of my closet to the boy. I had only mentioned it once briefly in conversation, but I mean I guess this is fine. Sehun didn’t seem all that excited, but he was acting very distant lately as it was.

He seems to trust me a bit more, but that doesn’t mean that he was happy around me. I swear I was trying my hardest to get him to open up to me, but whenever I thought that I was getting somewhere it was like I was quickly shut out. He only humored my questions, and had his guard up around me for whatever reason. It didn’t seem like he was fearful of me physically hurting him, but nevertheless he was reserved.

At least Jongin was here.

He huffs but pulls the shirt over his torso. He might have been fine without it, but him being half naked was distracting me while we were supposed to be talking.

“I told you to have a shirt on when you come here.” I say exasperatedly. He only sticks his tongue out. “Just sit down somewhere. I’ll call down for some sweets or something.” I walk over to the little intercom next to my door and click on the button that directs me to the kitchen.

“How may I assist you, Mistress?”

“Can I have someone send up something sweet to my room? This is um, June by the way.”

“Right away Mistress.” I let go of the button and walk over to the couches by the window where Sehun and Jongin have settled. I sit in the seat next to Jongin so as not to bother the other guy.

“How was your morning meeting with her Highness?” Jongin asks while throwing his arm behind me to rest on the top of the couch.

“It’s not a meeting. It’s more of a…”

“A meeting.” Sehun cuts in from across from us.

“No. It’s like…a mini gossip session.” Both boys look at me with lost expressions. “You know, like…two people talking about the drama they know of. Secrets that they’ve found out. People they dislike.”

“So…it’s like a therapy session?” Jongin asks with a tilt of his head. I place a palm to my forehead. These guys don’t know anything, I swear.

“No…it’s like…it’s kind of like what we’re doing right now. Like friends talking about their day and plans and stuff. Except she does most of the talking and I usually just listen.”

“So you’re…friends with the Queen?” Sehun asks hesitantly.

“I wouldn’t say friend just yet. She’s really nice, and she takes care of me. What I mean to say is that I don’t hate being around her.”

“I don’t think you should be getting so close to her. She could be planning on hurting you, you know?”

I purse my lips at Jongin’s statement. He’s right, but I mean I still believe in her. “Not everyone is out to hurt me…to hurt us. Maybe she just genuinely wants to take care of me. Did you ever think about that? She hasn’t done anything to hurt me so far, and besides I understand where she’s coming from. You guys were always so afraid of me and it felt like forever before you finally believed I wasn’t a threat. She’s like that I think. She’s like me.”

Jongin sighs. “I still don’t like this. She’s the Queen though, and she has hurt people before. She’s hurt each of us before.”

“And so have I. I’ve hurt people before, but that doesn’t mean she can’t change. Maybe…” I cross my arms over my chest as I search for my words. “…maybe I just have to show her that the way things are being run is wrong. Maybe I can help make her realize that the way things are happening is fucked. Kris and Luhan didn’t tell me what to do when I got here, but I think I could change the way she does things if I can get her to trust me enough, you know?”

The two don’t address my idea, and even though I know they think it’s a shit idea I’m still going to do it. I don’t hear anyone else telling me how I’m supposed to “fix” everything. Sehun crosses his legs and only raises an eyebrow. I roll my eyes at the two of them.

“You guys aren’t very supportive.”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea. If you’re confident about it though…then I’ll trust in you.” Jongin says while removing his arm from behind me.

“Okay well until I can think of a better plan, this is what I’m sticking with.” I turn my body so that I can be facing Jongin. “Speaking of better plans, have you visited Kris late-”

“Shush!” Jongin hisses. His eyes are wide and his index finger is placed against his lips. “We can’t talk about that. Not here.” He whispers. I glance at my door and back to him.

“So-rry.” I murmur. I know my walls aren’t soundproof, but it’s still nearly impossible to hear in here unless I’m yelling or right next to the door. He’s really overreacting.

“Just…be more careful. You can’t get too comfortable.” I nod. He is right I guess. I can’t afford to slip up and be caught. Lots of lives are on the line, and everything would be over if I was found out. Kris is apparently presumed to be dead by everyone here, and only a handful of Charmers know the truth. If the Gaia find out he is alive, he’d be hunted down for sure.

I sigh and rest my head in the palm of my hand. After propping it up on my leg, I look out of the window.

The garden.

I still haven’t been out there yet.

“What’s out there in the garden?” I keep my eyes focused on the color and greenery outside.

“I don’t know. I’ve never really looked around out there.” Jongin shrugs and looks out the window as well. I look at Sehun who only shrugs noncommittally.

“I don’t know either. I’ve only been outside of the castle once.”

I slap my thighs with my hands and stand up. “Alright, well looks like I know what we’re going to do today.” I run over to my closet, and after a tiring search I find the articles that I need. I drape a coat around myself, and slip my feet into a pair of shoes. I hand Sehun and Jongin each the same. “Let’s go outside and explore the garden fellas.”

They both give me hesitant frowns and I sigh seeing as I expected this reaction. “It’s cold outside, yes. But I want to go outside to look at the garden and I want you both to come with me so that I’m not alone.”

“You can look at it from your window though,” Sehun says while looking at one of my windows to prove his point, tone questioning.

“Seeing it and being able to be around it are two completely different things. I want to feel it. I want to be around it. I haven’t gone outside in a while and I’ve forgotten what is like to not stare at the walls of a building. Please come with me. I’m afraid to go alone.” I press my hands together and given them a pout for good measure. “Just for a little bit.”

Sehun sighs and starts to put his coat and shoes on. I smile and whimper at Jongin hoping that he will follow Sehun’s lead. He half frowns but also dresses himself. I clap excitedly and bound over to the door and bounce in my spot waiting for the two.

The three of us silently make our way down the set of stairs while I try to remember which hall on the first floor leads to the garden.

“What are you all doing here?”

I stop when I hear the unpleasantly familiar voice behind us. We were just about to travel down the left hall. I turn to face none other than the Queen’s cousin, Moonbyul with just the pink haired Charmer I now know as Baekhyun.

“Excuse me?” I ask her.

“What are you all doing here? Are you deaf human?”

“No, I’m not deaf. I was trying to figure out what such a dumb question could mean. Are you asking why I happen to be walking around the place that I also live in? Because if so the answer is, nothing. We are doing nothing and even if we were it’s none of your business.” She looks at the Charmers behind me and crosses her arms over her chest. I look at Baekhyun just in time to catch him twitch and bring a hand up to his neck as if he was just electrocuted there.

“Since you are doing nothing, I’ll be borrowing Kai then.” She says monotonously. When Jongin takes a step towards her side, I hold my arm out to stop him from going any further.

“Why?”

“I need him. For something. It’s none of your business.” She says with a small mocking smile. Jongin scurries around my stretched arm to go behind her and next to her own Charmer. I drop my arm and the two of us have yet another stare down. She wants to see me get angry over it. But I can’t get angry about this. He doesn’t belong to me so I have no say over who can use him and where he goes.

But he does belong to you, a part of me whispers. I clench my fists.

“Fine. I wasn’t using him anyway.” I tell Moonbyul. “Let’s go Sehun.” She sets her glare on my back as the two of us walk away from the girl who is seemingly out to test my patience. What did I even do to her to deserve this?

I’ll tell you what.

Nothing. I’ve done nothing to her, but I know that she still has got some kind of reason to be behaving this way. Whatever her beef, I want no part of it.

Notes