Why Me?

I watched him packing his clothes, wishing this didn’t have to happen. Why did they have to move the date?
“Pais… I’m sorry. I really didn’t know this would happen.”
“Tae, you know that I know that. There’s nothing to be sorry about anyways. You’re an idol. I knew that when I started dating you, you would be traveling away for long periods of time. I would be stupid to not expect things like this to happen. Besides I’ve already prepared everything for the time you’re gone.” I shot him a cheeky smile hoping it would persuade him. He pulled me into his arms, not wanting me to see the sadness in his face. He laced his fingers in my hair pulling me closer.
“But!” He exclaimed, pushing me away abruptly. He had one of those sly smiles of his and a glint in his eyes. “We’re not going to waste these last few hours together being all mopey! Let’s get all the members together and have fun!” I watched him run out the room with a smile on my face. He could be so bipolar sometimes. Not actually bipolar, but his mood could change from mopey to hyper in less than a second. I followed him to the living room and saw he and the members had already pull out a bunch of games. Twister, Monopoly, Cards Against Humanity, pretty much any game you could play with 8 players.
“Pais and Jimin are the first two up at Twister!” I shot Tae a look before stepping up to the mat and kicking my slippers off.
“They’re the two most flexible people here, so this should be good,” Hoseok smirked.
“Also, this is the version where you might have to put body parts in the air,” Jin announced.
“Right foot red.” And the game started.
Our game went on almost an hour. Neither of us were willing to give up that easily. I was bent in a back bend with my left leg in the air, while Jimin was underneath me, his left leg lifted between mine.
“Honestly Pais, how are you even holding that?” I rolled my eyes and smiled. Talking would break my concentration. I could either end the game in a tie by toppling onto him or playing it out. There was also the possibility of not being able to take him down with his arm strength.
“Left foot yellow.” Oh thank god. I flipped over, Jimin no longer under me, and placed my leg on the closest yellow spot. Jimin however, had a bit of an issue. I had stolen the closest yellow spot and he was stuck with trying to reach his leg across the whole board.
“Why couldn’t I have been born with longer legs!” He whined. I chuckled at how childish he sounded.
“So are you giving up?”
“Hell no!” Somehow, he successfully got his left leg to touch yellow.
“Right leg yellow.”
“Fu…dge,” I heard Jimin cuss under his breath. I simply lifted my right leg and placed it on yellow. He was now in a reverse plank and I could see his arms shaking.
“Right arm in the air.” I was just squatting at this point, with my right arm raised over my head. I was laughing at how unfortunate Jimin’s position was. His arms were already tired from the past hour, and now he had to support his whole body with just his left arm.
“Jiminiiiieee. I think you should just give up,” I smirked. He shot me a glare before finally collapsing.
“And Pais is the winner!”
“I think that’s the most interesting game of twister we’ve ever played in this house,” Jungkook said.
“That took so long. I’m kinda bored with twister.” I laid my head in Tae’s lap, exhausted from the game. He started playing with my hair and a small hum of adoration escaped my lips. I normally hated it when people touched my hair because I had such a sensitive scalp, but he was so gentle.
“Jagi,” I heard him squeak.
“Yup?” I asked lifting my head to look at him. His eyes were slightly darker, and he looked almost scary.
“Please try to keep the moaning down to a minimum. At least while the others are here.” He whispered huskily in my ear. I sheepishly nodded and felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I returned to my spot in his lap. The games continued through the night until Namjoon announced it was time to sleep. They had to be up early for their flight. I had fallen asleep on Tae’s lap until I felt him lift me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tucked my head into his shoulder. He took me to our room and laid me on the bed. He turned to walk away and settle into his own bed, but I grabbed his wrist, stopping him.
“This will be our bed tonight. Please?” He couldn’t say no. He would be leaving me alone for a few months. I scooted over to make room for him as he climbed under the sheets next to me. I thought back to the first night he slept with me like this. When he first confessed. Sort of. I easily drifted to sleep, his warmth radiating on my back.

I couldn’t hold back my tears. This was the first of probably many times he would be leaving on a tour for a few months.
“Jagiya ill be back soon I promise!” He gave me one last, long, passionate kiss before Namjoon was dragging him to the car. I waved back at him wondering what I was going to do while he was gone. Well I actually already had everything planned. I was going to get a job, and find a dance studio to start taking a few classes. Something to keep the emptiness off my mind. It would be a long few months, but I might as well make the time go by faster by distracting myself. Today I wasn’t going to do anything. Probably sleep and clean the house. The boys made a mess in their rush to pack at such short notice. Today was going to be the laziest productive day ever.

The rest of the month went by much quicker than I had thought. I had gotten a job at a nearby boutique that sold cute accessories and clothing. And the store owner was very kind. She had become like a second mother to me.
She was also a fan of BTS, but I knew I couldn’t tell her I was dating Taehyung. She did know I had a boyfriend though, and that he was out of the country for a few months.
I also found a way to watch almost every live performance BTS had in Japan. It helped ease my worrying. I could see Tae out there dancing and singing for his fans, even though he was all the way in Japan.

Sooner than I had realized, it was October. It had already been a month since he left. It was lonely, there was no denying it, but I was getting by. I was at the boutique for most hours of the day, pouring myself into my work to distract myself. I was saving up money to buy the boys Christmas presents, as well as a birthday present for Tae. With how much I was working, I would have the amount I needed in no time. On my break, I was scrolling through one of the K-pop websites my friend was an editor for. I had met him a few days ago at a coffee shop. We were both getting coffee for our bosses, and immediately began talking. He told me where he worked and I explained that I was a fan of K-pop. We didn’t talk for too long, but he gave me his number in case I ever needed anything from him. I froze mid scroll. An article about BTS had just popped up. And Tae’s name was in the headline. I clicked on it to read more and fear coursed through my body. He had grown ill and collapsed during one of the performances. He was taken to a hospital in Japan to get evaluated, and was currently waiting to be deemed allowed to travel back to South Korea. Tae… Please be ok. My break had ended and I had to return back to work, but I was lacking the motivation I usually had.
“Paisley? Is something bothering you?”
“No! I’m fine! Must just be a little tired.”
“Are you sure? You look more than just a little tired. You look like your dog just died.” I sighed. Guess there was no hiding it from her.
“My boyfriend is ill and the hospital hasn’t determined if he is well enough to fly back yet. I’m just worried.”
“Paisley why don’t you just take the rest of the day off. You don’t seem very fit to work.”
“No I need the money and the distraction. If I just throw myself into my work than I won’t think about it as much.”
“If you say so sweetie. Just if you need anything I’m here for you.” I nodded and gave her a beaming smile to reassure her that I would be ok.
I continued working through the day without a single thought of Tae. I know that sounds bad, but it was the only way for me to get through the day without breaking down. I was so worried about him. As soon as I got to the dorm, I changed into one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers, and turned on the computer. I flipped through article after article trying to learn more. No one had answered any of my calls. Not even PD-nim and he always answers his phone. This was the one tour he had decided to go with them, and thank goodness he did. I knew Tae was in good hands if he was there. I trusted him. But it would be nice if someone could give some info as to what’s going on! I guess it was no use. If they weren’t answering their phones now, they weren’t going to answer them anytime soon. I decided to try and get some sleep. Yeah right. Like I could sleep while my boyfriend was sick in another country. Please get better soon Tae… I miss you so much.

Notes