~~~~~~~ The psychiatrist was sat directly in front of him, however Hongbin found he couldn’t bring himself to focus on what she said any longer. The woman spoke towards Hongbin’s direction, clearly intending to give him clear instructing, however Hongbin only prayed his grandmother was listening. He prayed that she was listening well for him, since Hongbin could not bare to hear the words.

“I’m so sorry to tell you this, however I believe Hongbin has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, commonly known as OCD.” That was all it had taken. The diagnosis was the last feather that shattered his soul, sending his brain towards the floor.

The thoughts running through his brain now: Hongbin truly was more trouble than he was worth.
Deep down, Hongbin had known that something had to be seriously wrong. He had walked into this office praying that it was only a short term issue, however inside his gut Hongbin knew that wasn’t true. Something inside him was screaming that this was a problem that was not going to be easy to solve.

Then again, when was something ever simple for him? Even as a baby, Hongbin couldn’t dare to be blessed with one single simple day.

Initially it started with him getting ill, then he got the medical diagnosis, then the medications happened, more illness, before long Hongbin’s parents had been entirely bankrupt from all the trouble Hongbin had delivered them. They sent him to live with his grandmother, and she had permanently served as his care giver ever since. It didn’t stop Hongbin from getting sick all the time, nor did it stop the constant payments he needed for the hospital bills. His grandmother was getting in her old age, however she was still working herself to the bone to provide for Hongbin. Then he started acting odd. It wasn’t severe at first, however it quickly escalated. That was what had brought them here, and now there was this to add to the list of problems Hongbin had caused.

“Hongbin, Hongbin? Are you listening to me?” He hadn’t been able to register the psychiatrist’s words, not until she had shook his shoulder slightly. Only then did Hongbin look towards her and attempt to listen to what she spoke.

“Yes?”

“I understand how you must feel right now, knowing your physical condition, however this is not the end of the world. There is no cure, however this is treatable. With the right medication and behavior, OCD is livable.”

“Do you hear that Hongbin? It’s alright, you just need a little extra help. That’s it!” His grandmother spoke with a wide smile spread across her face, her eyes looking down towards her grandson as if attempting the deliver him some hope. Hongbin couldn’t be comforted as easily as her.

“Right, more medication. That’s exactly what I want, because the 6 I already take aren’t enough.” Hongbin couldn’t bear to be there any longer. He knew that the both of them only wanted to help him, however Hongbin couldn’t do it right then. Possibly later, but in that moment he didn’t want to discuss anything about the subject.

“I’ll start my way home grandma. I’ll meet you there.” Hongbin stood and walked towards the door without a second of hesitation, his footsteps oozing determination into the air. Rather than confidence, those around him only seemed to feel pity.

“Hongbin….why don’t you wait for me? We’ll leave together, alright?” His grandmother still spoke kindly towards him. Although Hongbin refused to look her direction and he was acting disrespectfully, his grandmother still spoke to him as if he was something good.

Just as he had begun, Hongbin didn’t look back. He only opened the door and retraced the path towards the front of the building.

“Hongbin! Sweetheart, you need to wear your mask or you’re going to get sick!!” His grandmother shouted towards the direction her grandson had walked, rapidly speaking her apologies and bowing towards the psychiatrist before running after the other.

Hongbin only fixated over the thought that kept repeating in his head: Just another thing to make me burdensome. ~~~~~~~

“Grandma, I promise you that I’ll be okay. I’m only going to be working for a few hours.” Hongbin held the phone closely to his ear as he waited for the bus to arrive. He had told his grandmother about these plan weeks ago, however it seems his plans had slipped her mind and the woman was now going crazy with worry over her grandson.

“Just stay at home sweetheart, for me? A festival is the worst place that you could be at.”

“I wish I could, but I need to make money too. I can’t let you pay my bills forever.” Hongbin was sure to say his words in a joking tone, a bright smile spread across his face. He knew that she couldn’t see the expression through a phone call, however he hoped that it could seep into his words. “I haven’t gotten sick in a while, and the compulsions haven’t been bad either. I’ve been taking my medications well so I will be okay.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be in danger. What are you doing? Will there be a lot of people there?”

“I told you this once, did you forget again? It’s a small festival, and I’ll be working backstage. I’m just helping to arrange equipment for a show that they’re going to put on. You know that I’m good at organizing things.” Hongbin smiled, although his heart ached slightly. There was nothing wrong with her, however his grandmother was simply suffering from old age. Forgetting things happened quite frequently now.

Hongbin also found that his grandmother only got more persistent with time. The bus arrived and he was boarding onto to it, his grandmother continuing to argue with him in the phone. She really didn’t seem to want him to go.

“I’ll be okay, I promise. You’ve taken care of me practically my whole life, so just for today rest and let me do the work. Alright? I promise you that nothing will happen.”

“…..you promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“And you took your medicine?”

“Every last bit.”

“Your mask?”

“I’m wearing it right now. My voice doesn’t sound muffled? Oooaaahhhh, you’ve really gotten used to this thing grandma!”

“You’re only arranging things? You won’t let it get out of hand?”

“I don’t even know what out of hand means.”

“…..alright. Only for a few hours! You better call me and check in!”

“I’ll message you every five minutes. The bus is almost there grandma, I need to go now. I’m doing good over here so rest well!”

“I’ll try. Aish, my grandson is looney. He’s out doing all of that and only worried about an elderly woman sleeping.” Although her words didn’t seem happy, Hongbin could hear the slight laugh behind her words. He could tell that she was smiling right now.

“I’ll talk to you soon grandma! Goodbye!!” Hongbin excitedly exclaimed his farewells, ending the phone call and rapidly exiting the bus. The trip had been shorter than he expected.

If Hongbin hadn’t been so preoccupied with comforting his grandmother, he would have expressed how excited was for this day. It was true that it was only a little work, however the opportunities for work didn’t come often. In fact Hongbin worked about as frequently as a ten year old boy. This was the first small job he had gotten in a long time, and Hongbin was eager to start.

Walking foreword, Hongbin couldn’t believe the amount of people that were there. He really did like others, although he didn’t talk with them much, and he wasn’t expecting an event like this to have such a big turnout. It seems that the town was in dire need of a summer festival though, because people flooded through the gates.

It made Hongbin grateful that he was considered staff at that time, otherwise he could have spent hours waiting in that line. Instead Hongbin walked around the crowd, not walking towards the front gates but instead towards the employee entrance. There Hongbin was able to enter within a mere few minutes and immediately speak to the event coordinator.

“What’s your name please?”

“Lee Hongbin.”

“Are you a full hire or just part-time?”

“I’m actually part of the volunteer services program…” Hongbin couldn’t help the inward cringe that came from those words. He wished more than anything that he could say he was a temporary part-time hire but Hongbin hadn’t been able to get this job on his own. He only found out this was an option after his doctor had recommended him to the supervisors, the selling line being that ‘it would be good rep to have a few troubled people in the employ registry.’

“Ahh, here you are.” The man did his best to sound unphased, however the feeling of awkward surely slipped through the air. “You will be needed on the stage. It’s the far west side, a ways down. There will be instructors to tell you what they need done when you get there.”

“Yes, thank you sir!” Hongbin bowed respectfully, hurriedly making his way out of the employ section. His thoughts couldn’t be bothered to make any judgements about the man, however Hongbin only wanted to begin work quickly.

Unfortunately, the man had not been exaggerating when he said that the stage was a ways down. Hongbin had needed to walk for a good ten to fifteen minutes to reach it, as they had set it up around the farthest side. He supposed it was reasonable, as this was a loud area and he was sure that they didn’t want it disrupting any of the other events. Never the less, Hongbin had trouble understanding why they didn’t set up direction arrows or something to lead people that way faster.

By the time he had arrived, Hongbin had been expected a good four minutes ago. It didn’t seem like much, but it seems that his supervisor didn’t believe the same.

“Where have you been?! You’re late!” Hongbin had barely arrived before the large man was running in front of him, his voice loud and demanding answers.

“I’m sorry, I got a little bit lost. I’ll work hard.” Hongbin bowed nearly a full 90 degrees in front of the man. He couldn’t deny that the man was intimidating, and he seemed like the type that would like something like that.

“You better. If you start being dead weight you will spend all day picking up trash. There’s four amplifiers backstage that we need set up. Go work on it with the others.”

“Yes sir.” Hongbin nodded quickly leaving, and gladly exiting his supervisor’s presence. He was clearly not the happiest man, and right then and there Hongbin decided was best to speak with him as little as possible.

Hongbin was grateful to see that the people working with the actual equipment weren’t nearly as grouchy as he had been. In fact, there were the first people of the day that didn’t seem off put by him in the slightest. Hongbin had grown used to it, simply because it was no mystery that people weren’t used to seeing a pale man with an incredibly thick mask on 24/7. Not to mention the times when Hongbin would act weirdly, walked to the same place four times simply because his brain told him that he needed to do it. Hongbin didn’t blame them, as he would most likely do the same if he was in there shoes.

The people that he had actually worked with had been very kind to him. They never questioned Hongbin, only advised him when he needed it and guided him the right direction. They were sure to clarify with Hongbin before they asked him to move anything, as they weren’t certain how his condition worked. Honestly, most of their concerns weren’t plausible in the slightest, but if anything Hongbin found it sweet more than irritating.

Hongbin had been working for a few hours, and actually gotten quite a bit of work done. The stage was starting to actually become functional, and the amount of workers needed was beginning to die down. He had already checked in with his grandmother a few times, and things seemed to be going well. Hongbin didn’t suspect he would be needed for much longer.

“Hongbin-ah, the supervisor wants to see you.” When one of the other staff members told him that, Hongbin couldn’t deny he was a little disappointed. As he walked he thought positive thoughts, that maybe he was just in a bad mood this morning. It had been fairly early, and it was possible he just wasn’t a morning person. It was true that he didn’t sound nearly as angry. Now his voice seemed colder than anything else.

“Hongbin, I’m putting you on babysitting duty.”

“What?” Hongbin couldn’t deny that he was confused. They hadn’t mentioned anything about this in the job description.

“There’s a mother that came up and said she needs someone to watch her son for the day. He seems fully capable of watching himself to me, but she swore up and down that she would complain if we didn’t have someone supervise him. I need you to go follow the kid around for the day.”

“Uhh….alright.” It wasn’t that Hongbin was disappointed that he would be working more, in fact it made him pretty glad. The people here could handle the rest of this work, but he wasn’t sure if babysitting was the right job for him. Never the less, he agreed to it. “What’s his name?”

“His name is Han Sanghyuk. You’re supposed to meet him next to the restrooms on this side, don’t ask me why because I have not the slightest clue. He’s supposed to be waiting for you.”

“Okay sir. I’ll be on my way then.” Hongbin walked away from the stage, not certain what he should be expecting. The supervisor had said that he seemed old enough to watch himself, meaning it wasn’t a young child. The fact that the mother was so certain he needed someone watching him though, told a different story.

This time Hongbin reached where he intended in no time. When he walked up to the restroom, there was only one person there meaning that surely had to be him. He didn’t look like a child at all, but rather he appeared to be in his late teens. He was very tall, taller than Hongbin was and he wasn’t any small guy. His hair was short and brown, styled up and his outfit fit the occasion well. He was not a bad looking boy.

“Hello, you must be Han Sanghyuk.” Hongbin smiled walking up to the boy the same as he would anyone else.

“That’s my name.” Hongbin couldn’t help but be slightly taken aback by how childlike the boy replied. He looked like a very attractive regular teenager, however he spoke the way a child would.

“Yes…uhh…my name is Lee Hongbin. I’m the person that your mother asked for.”

“Oh, you’re him! Oooaaahhhh, mom didn’t slack off this time. If you’re him then you’re my buddy for the day, follow me!” Rather than allowing Hongbin time to react, Sanghyuk acted abruptly. Very suddenly he grabbed Hongbin’s arm, excitedly dragging him towards the other end of the festival.

Notes