~~~~~~~“There is only one thing you need to know in life sweetheart.” Taekwoon gazed up at his mother, heartbreak filling his heart. He was still so young, yet at this age he could look up at the sickly woman with an understanding and mature face. At this young age he could look up at his mother and put a strong façade in front of her, for her own sake.

“What is it Mommy?”

“You may not always end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where you are meant to be.” She spoke the words to her son, her voice unfaltering and steady. She was still able to express how strongly she believed those words, despite being moments away from exiting this reality.

“But, Mommy that makes no sense. How can that be true?” Taekwoon could not fathom the words his mother spoke. They seemed absurd in his eyes. Where his mother was meant to be is healthy and at home. She isn’t meant to be living out her last moments in a bed that isn’t her own, speaking words to her son that he could not yet understand. “How could the world want this?”

“I am where the world needs me to be. I am with my one and only son, whom I love unconditionally. I am the happiest that I have ever been now, with no regrets and no worries. That is how you need to live your life Taekwoonie.”

“Mommy, that’s too hard for me. It’s too hard for me not to fear what I fear.”

“Fear and worry are very different things Taekwoon. Don’t ever get them confused. Living with no worry and regrets is not living without fear, but living with fear and courage alike. You are the most courageous child I know Taekwoon. You are more than capable of living happily.” Taekwoon looked at his mother with more fear than he had ever possessed before in that moment. Taekwoon couldn’t face reality without her, yet as she began to struggle with her breath they both knew she only had minutes left.

“Mommy please don’t go. I need you. I can’t face the people without you. I need you Mommy. Please don’t go.” Taekwoon gripped his mother’s hand as if it was his life that was going to be lost at any moment now. He held his mother’s hand with a deathly grip that was strong enough to break bones.

“Taekwoon don’t feel sad or lost without me. Remember the times we had and rejoice what has happened. Remember my words and you will never be without me. Know that I love you with all my heart. Know that I have never been more proud of anyone in this life than I am of you. Please live on to experience a joyful life, my Jung Taekwoon………….”~~~~~~~

Taekwoon awoke from the dream that he had been having time and time since it had occurred. He didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t move a muscle. Instead he lay there on his bed peacefully for a few moments, sorting through his thoughts.

That dream used to bring Taekwoon to tears when he was little. Taekwoon couldn’t remember how long he had cried after his mother’s death, only that the mere mention of her name was enough to shatter him to pieces. She had been all that he had when he was little, and her death had shaken him to the core. It took Taekwoon ages to recover from that event.

Now that he was older, Taekwoon has recovered, but will never move on. He doesn’t desire to ever move on from the moments he had with her. Instead he let those moments become dreams that he holds strongly to his memory. That particular dream began as a displeasing memory of the last moment he had seen his mother, but since has become a memory of the last words she had spoken to him. That memory, and that dream had now become the factor that motivated him through. That motived him to strive for and achieve the happiness that his mother had so desperately craved for him to have.

Today he planned to take a leap that he hoped would bring him towards that happiness. Today he planned to face his fear, and explore the options for him that he believes he is meant for.

Not wishing to waste any more time on thinking, Taekwoon calmly opened his eyes and moved himself from the bed. He started with the same morning routine that he has been going through since he first moved into this apartment. The place was small and didn’t provide much room for anything more than it had, however Taekwoon did not need any more since he was the only one staying here.

Taekwoon made his morning coffee to his taste, being sure to leave the pot under the machine so he could return to grab another cup before it got cold. He turned the television onto the morning news and listened to it as he grabbed the flyer that lay on his nightstand.
The flyer was one he had picked from a multitude he had seen going to the laundromat about a week prior. It was a flyer for a summer festival that was moving to town, and it had written on it they would have a stage. It said any who wishes could apply with only a form and small recording of their performance. They would review the recordings and whoever was accepted into the limited number of spots would get to perform during the free portion of the festival later that night.

Taekwoon had always loved to sing since he was little, and he had found since that the few times he never felt nervous or fearful of anything is while he was singing. Taekwoon knew if he could make a career from this, he would have achieved the happiness that his mother wanted him to have. He didn’t wish to be an idol or anything large like that, only a small time club singer would suffice.

Taekwoon looked through his closet carefully, wanting to find the perfect outfit for the event. He wanted something that was nice, but didn’t seem too formal. It needed to be nice enough to compliment his features well, yet still appear casual enough for a small open audition festival.

After about ten minutes of searching through his clothes, Taekwoon found a black and white striped long sleeve shirt that worked nicely. He put it with a pair of white jeans and a thin, pale gray sweater that stopped just above his knees and covered his shoulders. After looking over his appearance, Taekwoon was content with what he had found and moved on from his wardrobe.

Once he had finished refilling his coffee cup, he went to the bathroom and did his hair just as he usually did. His naturally black hair complimented his face well. It looked very nice, but at the same time effortless. It didn’t take Taekwoon much time to clean up his appearance and finish his completed look for the day.

Taekwoon looked at the time, seeing he had finished just in time to grab his things and leave for his destination. He lacked a license, therefore needed to give himself a sufficient amount of time to walk to the location in time to submit his audition.

Taekwoon finished his coffee and shut off the television, making sure everything was at least in a decent spot before he left. Taekwoon knew that his building manager would not be happy if he walked in to check the apartment, and it had been left a mess. Taekwoon grabbed his wallet and cellphone, putting the flyer and audition materials into his pocket before exiting the door.

By this time it was around 10 in the morning. Just in time for everyone that was going to work in the morning to be out. Taekwoon suspected it would take him about 30-45 minutes to walk to the festival, however most people are very busy in the mornings. He didn’t expect anyone to start a conversation with him, however just to be sure Taekwoon put his headphones in his ears and listened to music as he walked.

The walk wasn’t as uninteresting as Taekwoon was expecting, mainly due to the music that he had playing the whole way. Taekwoon had his favorite artists saved into his phone, therefore he could count on his favorite songs to entertain him as he made the long walk over.

Taekwoon made it to the festival in about the time that he had expected, the trip only taking three to five minutes longer than he had thought. Despite this however, Taekwoon found himself shocked at the amount of people that had already arrived at the festival. He had initially left at this time thinking it would still be early enough for him to arrive here and turn in his audition before a large crowd grew and he began to feel uncomfortable. The place was not at a crowd level yet, however there were just enough people to put caution and a slight twinge of fear into Taekwoon.

Despite this Taekwoon took a breath and continued on, knowing that he could handle this. As long as there wasn’t too many people trying to speak to him, he had learned to control his disorder well enough to be in this environment.

Taekwoon shut off his music and put his headphones back into his pocket, walking up the front gate to pay for his ticket. There was only one other person paying, however in the booth next to his. Taekwoon looked at him for merely a moment, seeing the man’s height was similar to his own and moving on to purchase the ticket.

“How may I help you?” Taekwoon walked up to be greeted by a moody girl, no older than 17. She obviously did not want to be there, putting her in a foul mood.

“Can I buy a ticket?” A slight laugh escaped the girls lips, shocked at how such a soft and quiet voice can come from such a cold looking man. Taekwoon hated how quietly he spoke, primarily because he gets this reaction very frequently. It was something that no matter how hard Taekwoon worked to fix the issue, no amount of work did any good. Taekwoon knew he had to deal with things like this. He knew even if his brain was telling him to feel sorry for it he needed to ignore his head and continue on like any normal person would.

“Hahaha, sure you can.” The girl spoke to Taekwoon in a mocking tone as she took a small slip of paper from the register drawer, slightly hurting Taekwoon’s control over his emotions. He lectured himself in his head, demanding to keep control over his head. “$4.”

Taekwoon handed her the money silently, not wanting to give her anything else to laugh about. The girl took his money and handed him the ticket, giggling as she did so.

“Have a nice day.” This time the girl spoke in her usual, sarcastic tone. She looked at Taekwoon as if she hoped he would say goodbye, probably hoping for a couple more laughs before her shift got boring again. Taekwoon decided not to give her the pleasure, or risk her giggles triggering his disorder, and quietly walked away from her and through the gate.

Taekwoon walked through the gate, leaving no time for himself to think and instead walked straight forward. He took the flyer out, reading where he needed to go to turn in the audition. The paper said that he needed to go towards the stage, however the festival was more confusing than he thought. He looked around, yet couldn’t see a stage anywhere where he was. There were no maps around to tell him where to go, leaving Taekwoon with a problem.

Taekwoon looked at his watch, growing worried once he saw he only had 6 minutes before the auditions closed. He didn’t have nearly enough time to walk around until he saw the stage, but he had never been to events like this before. He didn’t know where anything was set up in things like this, or if other festivals even set up similarly to this one.

Taekwoon quickly thought through his options, not seeing many choices. Asking someone for directions was risky for Taekwoon, however he wasn’t sure if he had much choice. Taekwoon might have been able to ask easier if he had gone to something like this previously, however he hadn’t and Taekwoon struggled with his disorder most in new environments. Carrying on a conversation would be difficult, but if Taekwoon wanted to do this he would just have to deal with it.

Taking a deep breath, Taekwoon looked around for someone who might be able to help him. There were no staff around, however there was a man that was simply sitting on a seat to the side. Taekwoon doesn’t know what it was that attracted him to ask that man. Maybe it was because he was one of the few people that had come to this alone, or maybe it was the way he sat there. Whatever the reason, Taekwoon took a deep breath and walked towards the man, preparing himself to do what he needed.

As Taekwoon slowly got closer he was surprised to admit to himself that the man was very attractive. He had dark tan skin that contrasted his hair, which had been bleached blond. His face was small, but the rest of his features didn’t make it seem as such at first glance. What dragged Taekwoon’s attention the most however, was the way the man’s slim hand gripped the back of his neck, massaging it as if he was in pain.

This made Taekwoon’s curious mind run at full speed, wondering if something was wrong. At that moment Taekwoon had changed his mind thinking he should ask someone else, however it was too late.

“Oh, Hi. Who are you?” The man had already seen Taekwoon walking towards him, instantly perking up at the sight. His hand moved away from his neck and he spoke to Taekwoon in a bright and cheery voice. A voice like nothing in the world could bring him down from his high mood.

“Oh, I’m….I’m sorry to bother you but I was….I….I was wondering if you knew where the stage was?” Taekwoon silently cursed himself in his head, knowing he had let his mind get the better of him. The man’s bright and loud voice had caused Taekwoon to panic, taking away that confident and cold stare that he could give to the young girl at the register. Now that he had faltered for a moment it would be very hard to get it back.

“Oh sure! I was just there like ten minutes ago. It’s hard to find right?!” The man stood up from his seat with a wide smile on his face. He seemed happy, however Taekwoon noticed that he winced in pain for a brief second as he stood up.

“Yeah.”

“They have this place set up so strangely! Oh, I’m being rude aren’t I? My name is Cha Hakyeon. What’s yours?”

“Jung Taekwoon……”

Notes

and there we are! First chapter complete! Pretty please comment and tell me what you thought! I know it sounds like something I'm just saying, but comments really do motivate me to write more and they really help me out with the rest of the story!! I hope you enjoyed. Thank you all. Love you!! <3