Finding My Way
Nonplussed
Taehyung’s POV
6:45 am
When I wake, Jaemi isn’t there… I’m alone.
I rush, run, I don’t even know what I was doing when I reached the front door of the orphanage to see her waiting by the gate. I assumed she was going to school early, but she wasn’t in uniform. Rather, she looked more formal than usual but still casual. Without thinking straight, I throw on a jacket, shoes, and grab my phone and wallet. She doesn’t see me when I come out and I hide behind some bushes. Should I approach her?
I take one step out to see a black car stop in front of her. And he comes out to greet her. Unraveling hate and anger build up in my chest and I let out a deep breath as she gets in and the car leaves. I’m not going to let this happen twice.
Luckily, a moving truck passes by minutes after. I manage to get a ride, asking the kind driver to follow the car and drop me off whenever we go off his route. He explains his destination is a town within Seoul because his family’s moving there. As he does, the black car comes in sight. All I can think of is Jaemi’s happy expression as she willingly went with Suga.
-----
Jaemi’s POV
We’re halfway there, sitting in silence as the rural areas and farmlands slowly change to urban and lively atmospheres. Our shoulders brush each other whenever the uber hits a pothole; one because we weren’t wearing seatbelts, two because we were sitting that close.
Yoongi lights a cigarette and inhales with closed eyes. He catches me staring at him as he blows out the puff of gray smoke. His eyes keep on mine as he moves his hand holding the cigarette towards me. I break the stare and shake my head. “No thank you.”
He puffs one more time before rolling down the window and throwing the cigarette out. “Last night you talked to me like there was no tomorrow. Why are you so quiet this morning?”
“I… I don’t know,” I reply. “I don’t know what to believe anymore honestly.”
“What do you mean.”
“Who are you, Yoongi?” I shift my entire body towards him, one leg folded on the chair, the other on the ground. “I can’t… I don’t- People tell me you are one thing, but when I’m with you, it’s hard to see where they are coming from. Why did we leave so early too? When you texted last night, I didn’t expect the date to be so soon.”
“Date?” A smirk comes across his face, but I immediately cover it with my hand. His face is cold.
“Trip.” I correct myself. It takes me a few seconds to realize that my hand was still covering his mouth. Before I could move it, he gently grabs my wrist and pulls my arm to wrap around his neck; causing my entire body to follow along. My face races hot and I feel my heartbeat against his cold skin. He lightly snuggles his arms around my waist and we sit in an embrace. I purse my lips, frozen from the sudden movement.
“I don’t know who fed you those ideas, but… it’s… not what you think; I’m not who you think I am. I can’t even explain it to you because I don’t know how.” His hands move to my shoulders and he pushes me back so that we are face to face. “I thought we were past this miscommunication. I thought you of everyone would know me a little more than the rest.”
I smell the tobacco in his breath. “Your keeping secrets from me.”
His mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
“If I was that special to you, why haven’t you exposed yourself to me. Tell me your problems, tell me your secrets, or anything. I have to work my way through to you in order for you to confess and something with me.” I push his hands off of my shoulders and reposition myself to sit regularly, “I had to run to you to get the truth out of you. ”
“That what?”
“That Taehyung was your brother. And Minji was your sister. And everything with that relationship is left in the dark. Taehyung doesn’t even know this information. Are you keeping this from him? The more I know, the less I understand.”
Yoongi takes a glance at my bandaged feet and clears his throat. “It’s not like I wanted to prevent others from knowing anything. It’s either they aren’t deserving, or the information doesn’t have to be brought up. In fact, there would never be a case when it would be because they’d know nothing of it. Simple.”
“You know what, take a minute to realize that people don’t like you. They only know of your actions and idiotic-”
“People don’t like me because they know nothing about me Jaemi.”
My voice unconsciously grow louder, “Those god damn people in the orphanage knew you. Know you. What do you expect to get from blocking me or them out more, Yoongi. They scold me every single time they find me with you.”
“All they know is what I let them know.” His face speaks anger. “What the hell do you know about them? What makes you think you are relevant enough to dictate the right and wrong.”
“If I wasn’t so relevant, why are we even here now.” My arms cross and I stare out the window.
“God Jaemi, why do you think everything has a ‘meaning’ to it. Can’t I just be with my girlfriend without strings attached? Honestly, who do you take me for.” I turn to him the second I hear ‘girlfriend.’ He takes my hand and interlocks it with his. This time, his touch is burning hot.
W-what? How do I even react...
“I’m not your girlfriend.”
He just shrugs, leaving his hand in mine. Not like it mattered, but I did the same.
“I don’t know what else you would be to me if you weren’t my girlfriend,” Yoongi mutters under his breath minutes after we share a silence.
Me neither. And it’s this moment when I think about Taehyung. What he’s doing, how he reacted when he woke up without me. I can’t help but feel guilty.
6:45 am
When I wake, Jaemi isn’t there… I’m alone.
I rush, run, I don’t even know what I was doing when I reached the front door of the orphanage to see her waiting by the gate. I assumed she was going to school early, but she wasn’t in uniform. Rather, she looked more formal than usual but still casual. Without thinking straight, I throw on a jacket, shoes, and grab my phone and wallet. She doesn’t see me when I come out and I hide behind some bushes. Should I approach her?
I take one step out to see a black car stop in front of her. And he comes out to greet her. Unraveling hate and anger build up in my chest and I let out a deep breath as she gets in and the car leaves. I’m not going to let this happen twice.
Luckily, a moving truck passes by minutes after. I manage to get a ride, asking the kind driver to follow the car and drop me off whenever we go off his route. He explains his destination is a town within Seoul because his family’s moving there. As he does, the black car comes in sight. All I can think of is Jaemi’s happy expression as she willingly went with Suga.
-----
Jaemi’s POV
We’re halfway there, sitting in silence as the rural areas and farmlands slowly change to urban and lively atmospheres. Our shoulders brush each other whenever the uber hits a pothole; one because we weren’t wearing seatbelts, two because we were sitting that close.
Yoongi lights a cigarette and inhales with closed eyes. He catches me staring at him as he blows out the puff of gray smoke. His eyes keep on mine as he moves his hand holding the cigarette towards me. I break the stare and shake my head. “No thank you.”
He puffs one more time before rolling down the window and throwing the cigarette out. “Last night you talked to me like there was no tomorrow. Why are you so quiet this morning?”
“I… I don’t know,” I reply. “I don’t know what to believe anymore honestly.”
“What do you mean.”
“Who are you, Yoongi?” I shift my entire body towards him, one leg folded on the chair, the other on the ground. “I can’t… I don’t- People tell me you are one thing, but when I’m with you, it’s hard to see where they are coming from. Why did we leave so early too? When you texted last night, I didn’t expect the date to be so soon.”
“Date?” A smirk comes across his face, but I immediately cover it with my hand. His face is cold.
“Trip.” I correct myself. It takes me a few seconds to realize that my hand was still covering his mouth. Before I could move it, he gently grabs my wrist and pulls my arm to wrap around his neck; causing my entire body to follow along. My face races hot and I feel my heartbeat against his cold skin. He lightly snuggles his arms around my waist and we sit in an embrace. I purse my lips, frozen from the sudden movement.
“I don’t know who fed you those ideas, but… it’s… not what you think; I’m not who you think I am. I can’t even explain it to you because I don’t know how.” His hands move to my shoulders and he pushes me back so that we are face to face. “I thought we were past this miscommunication. I thought you of everyone would know me a little more than the rest.”
I smell the tobacco in his breath. “Your keeping secrets from me.”
His mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
“If I was that special to you, why haven’t you exposed yourself to me. Tell me your problems, tell me your secrets, or anything. I have to work my way through to you in order for you to confess and something with me.” I push his hands off of my shoulders and reposition myself to sit regularly, “I had to run to you to get the truth out of you. ”
“That what?”
“That Taehyung was your brother. And Minji was your sister. And everything with that relationship is left in the dark. Taehyung doesn’t even know this information. Are you keeping this from him? The more I know, the less I understand.”
Yoongi takes a glance at my bandaged feet and clears his throat. “It’s not like I wanted to prevent others from knowing anything. It’s either they aren’t deserving, or the information doesn’t have to be brought up. In fact, there would never be a case when it would be because they’d know nothing of it. Simple.”
“You know what, take a minute to realize that people don’t like you. They only know of your actions and idiotic-”
“People don’t like me because they know nothing about me Jaemi.”
My voice unconsciously grow louder, “Those god damn people in the orphanage knew you. Know you. What do you expect to get from blocking me or them out more, Yoongi. They scold me every single time they find me with you.”
“All they know is what I let them know.” His face speaks anger. “What the hell do you know about them? What makes you think you are relevant enough to dictate the right and wrong.”
“If I wasn’t so relevant, why are we even here now.” My arms cross and I stare out the window.
“God Jaemi, why do you think everything has a ‘meaning’ to it. Can’t I just be with my girlfriend without strings attached? Honestly, who do you take me for.” I turn to him the second I hear ‘girlfriend.’ He takes my hand and interlocks it with his. This time, his touch is burning hot.
W-what? How do I even react...
“I’m not your girlfriend.”
He just shrugs, leaving his hand in mine. Not like it mattered, but I did the same.
“I don’t know what else you would be to me if you weren’t my girlfriend,” Yoongi mutters under his breath minutes after we share a silence.
Me neither. And it’s this moment when I think about Taehyung. What he’s doing, how he reacted when he woke up without me. I can’t help but feel guilty.
Notes
0v0/ hellooooo.
I miss uploading. It's been 6 months since I last updated. Honestly speaking, I had writer's block. Rather, I knew what I wanted to happen in the story, but I couldn't and didn't know how to write it out. I'm sorryyy. But, here I am.
Hope you enjoyed the short chapter. More coming soon I promise. <3
See you in the next chapter,
~A.T.
I'm seriously fangirling it's just-
5/16/18