Login with:








Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Finding My Way

Letting Go

Jaemi’s POV

If the woman I see before me is- I gulp. Jungkook’s mother… who are the other three. Dead.

“Are we allowed to go in?” I ask Jungkook.

“We’ll let you in after we fill you in with the details about this case.” A doctor says as he walks towards us with two nurses accompanying him.

“What is your relationship to these people?” He asks us, looking at his clipboard.

“One of them… the one visible is my mother. But, we don’t know who the other are.”

It’s more like we’re afraid to find out who they are.

“We were able to identify who they are behind their severe injuries and burns.” He pauses and flips up a page on his clipboard. “Jeon Haera, Jeon Seokhan, Kim Jaeun, Kim Yoonhyuk.”

I feel light-headed and my knees grow weak. Jungkook catches me before I collapse onto the ground.

“What is your relationship to these people.” The doctor repeats his question.

“My parents.” I pause after each word. “Our parents.”

The doctor looks up at us. There’s a hint of sorrow in his eyes.

“Let me take you into my office. We can have further discussion there.” He notions us to follow him.

We thank the couple who retrieved our parents and watch them leave before following the doctor to his office.

After thirty minutes of evaluating our parents case with the doctor, we learn that it was Jungkook’s mother who survived the car accident. The two cars crashed into each other as they made their way to our dance performance. Jungkook lost his father. I lost both of my parents. No relatives. No one to look after me. No one to take me to Julliard.

The only option they give me, is an orphanage. No Julliard. Would an orphanage really accept a me? A junior in high school?

The only place that are willing to accept me is in Buncheon. Miles away from here, Seoul. Gangnam, Seoul. That means…

I look up at Jungkook who’s face looks possessed. He stares at the ground, taking in all the information the doctor throws at us.

That means I can’t see him anymore. No more dance academy. Nothing.

The funeral for my parents and Jungkook’s father is set to be weeks after his mother heals. Once the funeral is over, I’m instructed to head straight for Buncheon. I don’t want to leave.

The doctor leaves us in his office as he fetches paperwork for us to fill out and sign.

I sink in my chair, trying my hardest to keep my tears from falling.

This is just a dream… it’s not real… it’s a nightmare. You’ll wake up soon.

Jungkook stands up from his chair and aggressively pulls me up with him. I gaze at him. Tear pools sit on the bottom his eyes. Like mine. His hands rest on my shoulders while mine stay at my side. He shakes his head and frowns as he pulls me into an embrace.

I can’t hold them back any longer.

I whimper and whale into his shoulder as tears pour out of my eyes. Jungkook is louder.

“I’m so sorry.” He mutters between his breath.

I bury my face into his chest and hug him tighter. The last I need is to lose him. But, it doesn’t look like I have much of a choice… now that I’ve lost everything.


Weeks later…
Day of the funeral

I met the owner of the orphanage a few days ago. She’s around her thirties and informed me to call her, “Byeol” or “Star.”

She makes me smile, but not enough to make me feel content to be staying at her orphanage. But, she did tell me I wasn’t the only high schooler staying with her. It made me feel somewhat relieved. I won’t be an outsider.

Jungkook and I walk out a black car. My arm links with his as we walk into the funeral home. We stay emotionless throughout the day, accepting the sympathy and pity from our peers. I feel like a zombie the entire day.

We move to bury their bodies in the mountains. A two hour drive. Only close family members are allowed to come along. Which is basically Jungkook, his mother, his relatives and I. I have no relatives alive. Anymore. However, Byeol does come along. To show her respects to my passed parents, and to take me to Buncheon right after the funeral.

The car ride to the mountains is quiet. Jungkook sandwiches my hands with his. Our skinship sends a goosebumps down my back and out to my arms.

“Everything’s going to be okay.” He whispers into my ears.

I turn my head to met his eyes. Dark circles stain his undereye. He hasn’t been the same since that night. Since our last performance.

A light smile shows on his face. I frown at his optimism. My hands break his sandwich and I brush his dark brown hair. I leave my hands on his cold cheeks and rub my thumbs on them. His big eyes soften and his smile grows.

“I don’t want to leave.” I say, almost a whisper. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“We’ll keep in touch, right? We have the technology.” Jungkook reminds me. “I’m not going to lose contact with you that easily. Not without a fight.”

He’s right… we shouldn’t be sad. We’ll see each other again. Some time.

I stare at my parents grave before me. Three bumps of dirt. A man puts grass seeds on each of them so they blend in with the other graves. The wind blows my long light brown hair up high and in my face. After fifteen minutes of silence, Byeol tugs me lightly.

“Jaemi-shi. It’s time to go.” She whispers in my ear.

My eyes widen and I turn to face her. I notice that Jungkook’s relatives have already entered their cars.

“Just… give me a second.” I say, softly.

She smiles faintly and pats me on the back before getting into her car.

I redirect my attention to Jungkook and his mother. She walks up to me with a sorrowful smile.

“I’m truly sorry, Jaemi-ah.” Jungkook’s mother holds my hands. “I can’t believe it’s come down to this. If you need anything, just let us know. Let me know. You deserve the best.”

I smile slightly and bow formally.

“I’m not the only one who’s at lost.” I hug her briefly. “I love you. Thank you for always being there.”

“Oh, my sweet Jaemi.” She tightens the hug. “How I’ll miss your presence. Thank you for everything you’ve done for my family.”

She lets go of the embrace and holds my hands. She fixes my stray hairs and kisses my forehead before joining her relatives in the car.

Jungkook waits for me a few feet away. His tears dried up quickly by the wind. He stands tall, like a gentleman. He wears his burden with pride. Courageous.

We slowly make our way to each other and meet in the middle.

“I guess this is goodbye.” He says. I see pain in his eyes. “You’re really leaving.”

I nod slightly and take him into embrace. He bear hugs me and buries half of his face onto my collarbone.

He muffles something into my shoulder, I feel the vibration and heat from his voice, but can’t hear what he says. He lifts his head and rest his chin on me.

“You leaving will cause me more pain. I don’t know how I’ll progress without you.” He whispers. “You’re my everything.”

I stay quiet. Cherishing the last seconds I have with him. But, before we know it, Byeol comes out of the car to fetch me.

“I hate to break you two up, but I want to make it to Buncheon before rush hour.” She sighs and pats our backs. “I know you two think this is the end of the world, but I guarantee you it’s going to get better.”

We both gaze at her, still in embrace.

“You’ll see each other again. You’ll get back on your feets, don’t worry. I know you two will make it out okay.” She continues. “I hope you realise that this is only a bump in your life. I would know from my own experience… Let’s go Jaemi. Buncheon’s waiting for you.”

Without another word, she walks back to her car. I hug Jungkook for one last time.

“Thank you for being my best friend.” I say my final words and leave first.

Bye mom. Bye dad. Bye… Goodbye Jeon Jungkook.


Jungkook’s POV

I wait impatiently as Jaemi says her final words to my mother. And soon, we slowly make our way to each other, meeting in the middle.

“I guess this is goodbye.” I start. Her eyes are sympathetic. “You’re really leaving.”

I widen my eyes as she immediately pulls me into a tight embrace. I hide my smile as I bear hug her and cover half of my face with her shoulder.

“I love you.” I muffle into her dress. She stays quiet. Did she hear me?

I lifts my head and continue.

“You leaving will cause me more pain. I don’t know how I’ll progress without you.” I whisper. “You’re my everything.”

Still no response. And after quick moments, she’s persuaded to leave from her new guardian. Byeol? Why… why me… why her… why us.

“Thank you for being my best friend.” She smiles at me before leaving my grasp.

If only we were in a different life. A life were there weren’t any problems. And we would be together, taking on the world. She would be mine. I would be allowed to love her freely.

I watch her car leave until it is beyond what my eyes can see.

I love you, Kim Jaemi.


So I've decided to officially update on Tuesday's and Friday's.

I hope this story isn't progressing too fast for you readers. I just want to get to the plot I originally planned for. The first few chapters will be my exposition.

Thank you for reading! Vote///Comment///Subcribe if you want to read more of this story.

I'm excited to see how well this story turns out to be. I'm hoping it's not that bad.

See you in the next chapter!
~Alexis Thao


I'm seriously fangirling it's just-

annabanana2427 annabanana2427

HOLY CRAP! I was shook when I saw this story was updated, I'm so happy! >.< Yayyyy lol. Love you and your stories, i re-read everything like 3 times. Nothing defeats this hehehe. The chapter is so intense! That was unexpected and i'm in love with it! THank you for updating

annabanana2427 annabanana2427



evidently it was also put up on exo fanfic ;)
additionally, this isn't the only non-exo story uploaded on exofanfic site either. but thanks for commenting

A.T. A.T.

yo just saying this is an EXO ff website not BTS

I'm so happy that you're updating. Your ffs r amazing. so much better than mine.