Lets Not Fall in love.

Choi and I mainly talked about nonsense. He talked to me a little about Gwanju’s Kkangpae. And then he told me he couldn’t give me the full history and such in one sitting. I figured out myself that he wanted to keep me in the dark. That kind of disappointed me.

I had cut my eyes to the scene in front of me. We were back at Sip Happy Café. I gave Choi a questioning look. ‘’stay here, I’ll be right out. If something happens honk the horn three times.’’ I paused a little bit when he said this. It was so serious and such. Why would something happen? I thought we were in his domain. But I said nothing, I just nodded a little and sat back.

I had settled down in the seat. It was like I was having an out of body experience with myself. Would I have ever done this back in California? No, probably not. What was wrong with me? But the thing about it was, I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I felt okay. Like of course TOP had a vibe to him. And I knew that he was probably really dangerous. And everyone he associated with was dangerous. But I didn’t feel completely unsafe.

My thoughts were taking over me as let them sink in. I wonder what kind of things my mother got into when she was my age. She didn’t tell me a whole lot of stories because she said she had too many memories that she wasn’t proud of. But my mother was somewhat of a saint in my eyes. She could do no wrong. She had her moments of course.

Her beautiful face filling my mind as I thought of her. Then Juniper’s face. Who was he hanging out with? And so soon. We didn’t really know a whole lot of people outside of family here. Cousins and such. So what type of people approached him… or did he approach for them already to be hanging out?

That’s what made me uncomfortable. He always found something he shouldn’t have been in. The first time I realized this is when I walked in on him one day and saw rings through both of his nipples. That was my freshmen year of high school. He was always stretching his ears. Had gotten one of his older friends into posing as a guardian when he got his tattoos, and gotten his tongue pierced. He didn’t look totally out of place, but still. I of course didn’t judge. He was my brother. And one of the tattoos he had was my name on his wrist. He was my other half. The other part of me. And I wanted the best for him.

I found myself drifting off a few seconds later. What time did I go to bed last night?
I don’t remember how long my eyes were closed, but Choi’s hand on my thigh jolted me awake. I looked down at his hand and sighed a little bit. ‘’One more stop, then back to the club.’’ He told me. He kept the radio volume barely turned up from what it had been earlier and when I asked why, he responded with ‘’All the better to hear you with.’’ Making me roll my eyes.

It was quiet for a few seconds. And then he spoke up. ‘”Were you born here?’’ I looked over, he didn’t turn to look at me but I could see the curiosity Clearly etched into his face. ‘’Mhm, yes. But I spend most of my life in California. Irvine.’’ I explained.

‘’But… there was an accident and I had to move here with my mom.’’ Choi’s hand started to slowly rub my thigh in a comforting way. Well, probably comforting for him. ‘’Family stuff. I get it.’’ He said with a bitter sounding laugh. I put my hand on top of his. His hands were rough, but comforting at the same time.
‘’Do you believe in fate?’’ he asked out of the blue.’’ I turned to him with an eyebrow raised. I didn’t know what he was getting at. ‘’I’m a skeptic.’’ I answered honestly. To which he nodded. ‘’Me, too.’’~

I tried to think back to a previous boyfriends. I had three. Only two of them were really serious. Could Choi fit into that category of serious? Only time would tell. I knew for a fact that no sane woman would be rolling around with a gang leader on her summer off, I felt like I was playing with fire. Like a pyromaniac that was waiting to be burned.
But the thing was, maybe I was waiting for the burn.

Notes

I PROMISE that the next chapter will be longer and make more sense.