Love for you

Some people say life just passes the way it’s supposed to. Some say you are the one who paves the road of your life towards your destination. Others say, it’s both fate and humans decides, but Jong-in didn’t know how?

Nothing of it he agreed. Not the fate he had with her nor he had chosen this. Neither both, so he didn’t know how his life turned out to be a hell hole he had to jump in. Well, life is like that, and that what he only knew and agreed to.

Eun-hee was his wife. He knew, he admitted to himself most of the times but it didn’t mean he treated her the way, a husband’s supposed to treat her wife. He mistreated her and she mistreated him back, but the thing was, it only happened the very first week of marriage when they continued to fight at every single thing they could fight over. The second day after the marriage ceremony, they had to attend the ball together at that night. However, Jong-in had no idea how Eun-hee convinced his father to postpone the reception ball but he was somehow relived at this. They kept their distance as much as possible during that time. Eun-hee never entered the room when he was home and Jong-in would come late home at night until Eun-hee slept first. At breakfast table and dinner, Eun-hee asked his duo of fathers if she could have breakfast at her home and at supper time, Jong-in would ask to go at Kyungsoo’s place. His duo of fathers, (sometime the complete trio of fathers) seemed to be suspicious about their relationship but only God knew how Eun-hee managed to spell bound them with her charm of talking and it only advantaged them in keeping distance safely. It’s not like Jong-in was thankful to her for that but there’s nothing bad in taking free services when the other one is volunteering happily and it advantages the other too. SO, their cold war continued safely and peacefully the way, Jong-in liked it to be.

‘Till Eun-hee invited Jong-in’s elementary and junior high mates, the people he never wanted to meet, for their marriage ball. He never wanted his past to revile, or come in front of him again that it would only broke him into pieces and Jong-in wanted to be broken again.

Moreover, he never wanted Eun-hee to learn about his past. He was afraid to that since the very first day he heard about this marriage and slowly his fear was turning into reality and he had no choice but to stop it, either nicely or forcefully.

His relationship with Eun-hee was not that good, that he could go and nicely ask her not to do that again moreover, he was too annoyed that time that he lost his senses right away, which resulted in Jong-in letting out all his anger at her. His flood of emotions went out of control and he with the mixture of fear and annoyance he ended up hurting her physically at the very end of the week they shared peacefully yet distancing themselves from each other.

He was afraid, and whenever he got scared to anything, he shoved off his fear by being grumpy and all wild. He always acted like that or sometimes he cried like a scared child when Minseok or either Joon myeon would hug him and letting him have sleepover in their rooms. Jong-in liked it when he shoved off his odd feeling by crying at his hyungs’ shoulders but he wasn’t a kid anymore and he was afraid, Eun-hee might catch him doing so. He was a man after all. Moreover, a man of a women; he was married above of all. How could he do that, so his fears and anger resulted in throwing his fits at her. Later, it turned out that he accidently harmed her physically and out of fear and guilt he never admitted it was his mistake.

He threw all the burden of that incident at Eun-hee’s shoulder alone and tried to run away from the guilt that kept on bothering him until now.

He never was good at showing his true feeling to anyone. He never was good at apologies and was never good at admitting his true feeling in front of anyone as well. He never embraced his true side in front of others. He was really touchy about his things because of his fears of losing everything. His those fears turned him into someone he never was or never wanted to be but unfortunately he had to be that someone in front of Eun-hee who was actually all weird since that incident.

That moment when Eun-hee ran away and he got scared like a child again, hiding himself under the covers of his cold bed, he thought his hyungs and father would hate him for this. Eun-hee would tell them everything but she never did. She never told anyone that Jong-in was responsible for this and it only confused him.

‘Why didn’t Eun-hee tell anyone about this?’ ‘Does she know something about his past so she just wants to avoid him?’ ‘She wants to make him feel guilty or actually she’s guilty for calling people from his past without his permission?’

He had a lot of thought in his mind about this and his guilt and fears kept on hunting him down just to make him feel more angry and irritated. He got fed up of this to the back of his teeth. He wanted to get rid of her because since she entered in his life he was turning into something he wasn’t and he kept on doing stuff he hated to do. She tried to get his people for her too even she was claiming him as well and he didn’t want any stranger to have his family for them.

Moreover, she was avoiding him more keenly after that incident and was growing more restless at this. Somewhere in his heart, he wanted to ask her what was on her mind. What exactly she was thinking over this?

What exactly she was feeling about this?

Moreover, if she was fine. He might never admit he thought so, though.

In addition, he never got a chance to ask her how badly she was hurt and why did she call people from his past. He was guilty but he never said anything to her instead kept on blaming her for that as if she was one responsible for that. Well, they both were responsible for that and they both didn’t spit a single word after that until his father talked about the pushed away reception party on the breakfast table.

“I’m missing Eun-hee already,” Jong-dae cried on the breakfast table. “It’s been three days since I last saw her”.

His father agreed. In-fact everyone on the table agreed excluding Jong-in.

Eun-hee was at her place for straight three days and every one missed playing and cracking senseless jocks with her at home. She was taking her days off from collage too and her little group was out of reach too since she was out of picture. Joon myeon and Minseok kept on sulking because of Lay’s absence and Jong-dae rolled crying, all over the place because of how badly he missed his prank partners Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Jong-in didn’t miss anyone. Instead, he found it better this way, her and her chum Sehun being out of picture. He didn’t know the reason but he was somehow reviled. Maybe because he couldn’t face her because he was ashamed. Maybe, because he wouldn’t ever admit this.

“How irresponsible of you guys, Jong-dae,” His father scolded with a grumpy face and Jong-dae gulped quickly. “Nobody, went to visit her ever after how badly she was injured?”
Jong-in fidgeted inwardly and others looked at each other with questioning gazes.

“Minseok hyung, Kyungsoo and I went to see her papa,” Joon myeon informed and Jong-dae gasped loudly in surprise. “We visited her every evening”.

“And you didn’t tell me hyung?,” Jong-dae almost shouted after throwing his folk in his plate as if his folk was responsible for Joon myeon’s betrayal. “You didn’t know how badly I missed them?”

Jong-dae groaned and others smiled. Jong-in knew, where Kyungsoo went every evening but he didn’t stop him from doing so. Moreover, Kyungsoo never told him about her health, not to mention he wanted to know inwardly but was he going to say it out loud?

Not even to his chum at any cost.

Kyungsoo thought, Jong-in didn’t want to know so he never told him anything and his hyungs didn’t want to tell him anything. They held a grudge against him for making her cry and Jong-in stresses at the thought, if Eun-hee had told them about who was responsible for that incident; his hyung’s would’ve cut ties with him right away. It only added to his anger for Eun-hee because his hyungs were holding grudges against him now because who always cared for him as if he was a child. Now, they kept on putting Eun-hee above him and that’s what he hated the most. He was a touchy scared child after all, in the disguise of a tall smiley married man.

“We thought you might accompany Kai”

Joon myeon said without throwing Jong-in a spare glance and shoving a bite of a pancake down his throat. Jong-in groaned inwardly. Now, every pair of eye was on him except his father and Joon myeon’s, as if Joon myeon was holding something big against him.

‘All because of that Eun-hee’

“What were you expecting from Jong-in,” His father began with a sarcasm making him fed up of this to the back of his teeth. “His responsibility is over after singing some official papers. He has nothing to do with this marriage. Isn’t it Jong-in?”

His father shot him an annoyed glare with sarcasm laced in it and his huffed inwardly. His older uncle tried to calm his father down and Joon myeon left the table with Minseok right away. He wanted to flip the table off completely peeved but when he father spoke again he instantly taken a back without his knowing.

“Eun-hee was right. I shouldn’t force her about inviting his classmates he spent his school years with,” Jong-in visibly fidgeted. ‘Eun-hee didn’t want to do that? Papa forced her to do that?’ “She told me that I should ask Jong-in about this first but only if I had a single idea that my useless son is going to be this careless towards his own spouse I would’ve never done that. He’ll surely embarrass me in front of everyone and even himself in front of his mates Minho hyung. I’ve told you my sons are useless, just hand over all the inheritance to Joon myeon.”

His father was complaining to his uncle and he without a second thought punched the table only to receive glares from the duo and Jong-dae sitting by his side.

“I need that inheritance papa,” he almost shouted on his father and his father looked away with an annoyed expression on his face. “I even married without me agreeing to it just to get that and now you want to give everything to Joon myeon hyung?”

He stood up abruptly causing the chair to screech back and fall on the ground underneath him.
“Really?,” Jong-dae stood up beside him and look towards him with a sarcasm floating in his eyes directed towards him. “When you can’t even take care of your spouse, you think you can handle the whole empire?”

Jong-dae left after shooting him a judging look and his bother fathers left with one holding anger in his eyes and other with disappointment; and it only broke him down.

He wasn’t someone who cared only about money, he just needed money just to shove off his fears. He needed the inheritance to save his self-esteem but nobody knew. Nobody cared, but it wasn’t like this until now. It never was like this until Eun-hee came into his life.

Jong-in punched the table surface once in sheer annoyance.

Eun-hee was driving him crazy. Her name, her absence, her action even her existence was a pain in his neck.

He didn’t know what to feel. What really should he feel he had no idea. Should he feel guilty, should he feel sad, should he feel rage, should he feel disappointment or should he feel pain. He just didn’t know but one thing he knew, the flood of emotions was driving him crazy at the moment.

Later that evening, Jong-dae went with others to see Eun-hee and they brought her home back. He could feel each face lighten up and he instantly felt bad. How selfish he was when he only thought of himself. If Eun-hee’s presence could make his family this happy what more he might ask for but somewhere in his heart he wanted to be the one responsible for this, especially after disappointing his family today. However, he only could wish and do nothing.

He never tried to cross Eun-hee’s sight but it didn’t mean, he didn’t see her. He saw her the following night, sleeping soundly on his other side, showered in a full moon night, making her glow beautifully and mesmerizingly.

He turned his side towards her and under the moon light, her glittering peaceful face caught his breath right away. He was incredibly beautiful. Admitting or not, he found himself spell bounded by her moon showered beauty. He swallowed his own saliva without knowing and let out the caught breath immediately.

Who could tell, that peacefully sleeping beauty was actually a devil under disguise. Only Jong-in knew.

He snorted at the thought.

Cold crept his body suddenly and he found himself snuggling closer to her. Under covers he never felt cold but suddenly he realized as he was sharing the covers with her and because of their unbelievable distance under same covers he couldn’t wrap himself. Cold sneaked though the open space of covers between them and he, ‘left with no choice’, unwillingly had to cover the distance.

In the dark and cold, her figure under the moon light was mesmerizing and he couldn’t help but notice her little tremble in the body because of breathing. Her left side was up for him to have a though view of it. Her face had a dragon shaped bandage and he couldn’t help but smile. He knew who was responsible for this sticker like dragon bandage. Jong-dae loved these bandages and he still liked to use them when he got any wounds. Jong-in knew it was Jong-dae’s doing and his smile grew wider when he imagined him fighting with Eun-hee to trap her for putting this dragon bandage. He could tell without knowing that Eun-hee must have sulked over this thing but no one can fight with the king of devils and surely, Jong-dae was the king of devil who loved to pull pranks on people as much as he could.

He couldn’t tell how badly her inner skin was damaged as it was all under her cloths but he could see a scar on her neck clearly and a little wound on her ear lobe. He never saw Eun-hee wearing any kind of accessory. Her ear lobes, her wrists, her fingers, neck everything was bare always except for the wedding ring and he didn’t know why but he thought that he liked it this way. Sure he liked girls to be in their real character but still without his knowledge he was liking a tom-boy’s liking.

It’s true, Eun-hee was more like a tom-boy. She always wore men’s wear and never acted like a girl except sometimes when she played around like a little girl. He could hear her loud squeals from the lounge as their room was right above the roof less lounge from where anybody could look down without being caught. Well, he didn’t actually did so, but he heard without his will.
He didn’t like it before but now as he was thinking about it looking at her soft features he somehow found it nice. His smile grew a bit more wide when he saw her huffing in her sleep.

He didn’t know someone could do that in his sleep.

Her pink thin lips pursed in a thin line and her nostrils started to fire breath, making Jong-in nearly laugh loudly. Instead, he covered his mouth only to save her from waking up because of certain someone’s loud laughing at almost midnight.

She must be fighting with him in her sleep, Jong-in’s laughter wanted to break out from his firm palm placed on his lips, at his own thought. He couldn’t believe himself. Just few hours ago, he was sulking all around his room and now it was hard for him to stop himself from burst out laughing right at the moment.

Jong-in raised his hand and bushed away his own bangs covering his eyelids. Looking at her face peacefully, he didn’t know would be this calming. He surely was feeling all good after the almost three weeks of internal breakdowns and emotional fights with himself. Her long brown hair tied in a lose tail pony looked beautiful and Jong-in unconsciously but right after few seconds he felt himself regretting for hurting her like this.

He felt guilty. He had his reasons for doing so though.

Still he wanted to apologize because she didn’t know what exactly she was doing and when she was not trying to explore his past he felt himself at ease and more guilty.

“I’m sorry Eun-hee,” He snuggled closer a bit more this time, face just few inches away from her face, looking straight at her shut eyelids, breath almost fanning her face and her warmth wrapping his body even from this distance. Jong-in felt himself melting at the warmth instantly and his whispers, more calm and warm. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I just didn’t want to… I’m sorry… I never intended to harm you like this…”

Jong-in said with a regret and tight chest. He really was feeling bad. Eun-hee was really a spell caster because he knew he was going to scold himself tomorrow for whispering apologies to a certain sleeping figure in for him. “Except, a few times of wanting to throw you out of the window of a highest building floor I can even get to and tying you up in front of hungry lions. Maybe a few time throwing you in my coffee beater or may be sometimes murdering you with a kitchen knife like a chicken roaster and sell you in the market at the cheapest price one can’t ever think of selling. I’m sorry again.”

Jong-in finished with a mischievous smile on a face but instantly fidgeted when he spotted a smile creeping on Eun-hee’s lips slowly, under the moon light.

Jong-in felt like as if he got caught stealing some candies from an elder’s pocket. How embarrassing!

He groaned and Eun-hee’s smile grew wider.

“It’s alright Mr. Kim,” Eun-hee, with closed eyes and mischievous smile on her face exactly the same Jong-in had few seconds ago started and Jong-in sighed with red embarrassed face fanning her nose. “It’s not your fault. I exactly had same thoughts too. Except, I wanted to chew you like a bubble gum and stick you on the hair of that girl you flirted with a week ago”.

“I didn’t flirt,” Jong-in almost shouted at her accuse the first half of a minute and instantly control himself at the other half when he saw a smug smile on Eun-hee’s closed eye face. “Besides, you got jealous for nothing”.

Jong-in smirked and Eun-hee with a loud snort turned her side disappointing Jong-in for some reason he had no idea about.

“Dream on Mr. Kim, that would never happen,” She said with a little flinch and instantly turned his side back towards him. Jong-in instantly realized that she couldn’t sleep on that side as she was still suffering because of her injures and he felt guilt stabbing his chest furiously. “But if you tried to cheat on me I’ll kill you right away”.

Eun-hee said playfully with closed eyes and playful smile and Jong-in found him reflected it if only Eun-hee could see it. Moreover, his heart was beating fast just like it acted weird at their wedding ceremony and to avoid this kind of feeling he instantly spoke.

“Let’s see then,” Jong-in smirked and Eun-hee laughed with closed lips and eyes but Jong-in could see her clearly and now the feeling disappointment were gone without his knowing. “I’d like to see what are you gonna do in a lock up after murdering me”.

“How would you see when you were already dead,” Eun-hee snickered and Jong-in saw a set of teeth flashing through her lips. He couldn’t help but smile back, it only made her look more beautiful and Jong-in wondered why Eun-hee didn’t mind his breathe fanning her face. Instead, she snuggled closer like him and their feet were really close. They could feel it but they weren’t exactly touching. However, he could feel erections running through his whole body and he fidgeted inwardly but still he didn’t move a single muscle to do anything. “Hell never allows people to hunt their enemies and for your information, I’m good at escaping, I’ll sneak through the borders right away”.

Jong-in laughed loudly at this even though he knew she was trying to tease him but instead to getting angry at her, he found himself feeling much better and calm.

“I’m not going to hell”

He tried to protest playfully but Eun-hee didn’t budge putting an ear at this. She continued to insist about her words for being true.

“You are,” She unconsciously threw a hand around his waist and both frost right away. Eun-hee gulped and Jong-in felt his heart acting wild again. Heat rushing through all his body and eyes continuously blinking in disbelief. Her touch was warm and his breath went vulgar, he had no idea how to react and before he could think of a way to react, she instantly had her hand back. “I’m sorry”.

Jong-in didn’t say anything but with wild breath and fast heart beats he turned his side on the bed, back facing Eun-hee. And that was the moment when Eun-hee opened her eyes only to find Jong-in and bit her lower lip recklessly.

“It’s alright”

Jong-in whispered and Eun-hee unconsciously beamed at this breaking into a beautiful time Jong-in couldn’t see.

“Good night”.

Eun-hee snuggled closer and almost covered complete difference between them leaving the inches distances keeping their bodies from touching each other.

“Good night or whatever,” Jong-in snorted and Eun-hee giggled loudly. “Just sleep”

“I’m not sleeping,” She got an urge to tease the latter and Jong-in gritted his teeth playfully. “I’m going to talk to you”.

“I’m not interested,” Jong-in waved a hand in a way Eun-hee could see clearly and she clicked her tongued mischievously. “Talk to the walls”.

“You are a wall right in front of my eyes,” Eun-hee informed and Jong-in quickly turned his side only to find her almost pressed against him. “And when my tiger is in a good mood, I don’t want to waste the opportunity.”

“I’m not yours,” Jong-in gritted his teeth at the teasing and Eun-hee just mocked him without any voice. “and I’m not in a good mood, so just sleep before I kick you out of my bed. By the way, I didn’t know you this badly wanted to talk to me”.

“Try doing that and I’ll sleep over your dead body,” Eun-hee pinched his nose and Jong-in growled shoving her hand away but it didn’t stop Eun-hee from doing anything. “And yes, you have no idea, how badly I wanted to be in your arms”.

Jong-in’s eyes widened in shock and his heart threatened to stop working right away when he found her wrapping herself around his body. Nose touching and eyes straight into each other, smile playing on her lips moreover heat and warmth running all through his body abruptly stopping at her arm around his waist and chest pressed with chest. Her feet were touching his, and Jong-in had no idea he was holding a deep breath until he threw her out of the bed in the other second before releasing his breath.

He sat up on the bed only to find her rolling on the ground with mouth covered by her hands trying to stop herself from burst out laughing. Jong-in felt blood rushing in his veins. How embarrassing the situation was. She played a prank at him and he fell for it. How idiot he was. He wanted a hole to appear from somewhere only to come and swallow him.

‘Eun-hee’ he gritted his teeth with fast thumbing heart and red embarrassed cheeks.

However, Eun-hee almost forgetting about her injures was rolling all over the carpet like a maniac and Jong-in just huffed all embarrassed.

“Just shut up and sleep”.

Jong-in growled and laid down again, back facing Eun-hee again. Eun-hee’s laughter bubbled up once again but she held back and climbed up the bed once again, laying right behind Jong-in closing the distance as well once more.

Jong-in was embarrassed and his heart was acting all wild. Eun-hee on the other hand was smiling with closed eyes as she wasn’t feeling anything but her mood much lighter than a while ago.

Both were surprised at each other’s and their own behavior but even it was only for a night, both didn’t mind.

However, it didn’t mean they were going to be same the next morning. Unless they wanted it, and well, they wanted or not, there morning had no speck of their child like fight they had the previous night

**********

Notes