Love for you

The stars on Seoul sky weren’t pleasant like they used to be, or she thought so, may be it felt like so. She had no idea why she felt like dying but she strongly had those feeling flaring inside, making her eyes burst into tears.

She wiped her cheeks recklessly with the back of her left hand and looked towards the dark sky (with twinkling stars but not moon making it clearly dark) with her blurry wet eyes.

How nice and perfect her life used to be. She always stayed beside Sehun, always held hands with Yixing while walking, always sided with Baekhyun in order to tease Chanyeol and almost every night sneaked in Chanyeol’s bed to sleep beside him. Later on, her mother would scold her but she never cared. She loved sneaking in his brother’s bed and threw him out of his own bed but his brother was a saint. He never complained!

A tear spilled roll on her cheek from her left eye.

How can they part someone this easily from his family?

She didn’t even get the chance to tell her family that ‘she may have no idea about what people of this age see relations as but she loves her family and even her mother was a grumpy woman and father loved to tease her in many ways but she loved them, she never wanted to be separated from them’. Parents don’t raise their child only for this that one they would leave them for their own reasons. Children never realize the value of parents until they reach the same age stage and status. They eventually feel the loneliness and how their parents have had felt but what’s the use of regretting when there’s no way out. Eun-hee was not one of those kids. She had once decided that she would never leave her parents however, she just couldn’t go against the universal truth set by the humans’ so-called law.

Her parents threw her out for her own good but no, she didn’t want it this way. Just because she never dated her parents came of this idea to make her daughter’s life somewhat better. Horrible idea of-course!

She wondered who people easily leave their family like it’s nothing for them. She, for a certain period went abroad for studies but Sehun and others created some much fuss about it that she had to come back after few years. Her mother kept on falling sick as if she scheduled it for some reason and Chanyeol almost forgot how to smile. Sehun’s grumpiness reached its peak and Yixing was quiet as if they left him with nothing to talk about. Baekhyun if you say was annoyed to the point of death. His family really couldn’t literary survive without her even her uncle and aunts missed her so much that they almost every day nagged her therefore, she didn’t know if her family would be able to survive without her. Moreover, she was more about herself. She was so in her family that she was losing her mind because of her.

For a moment before the wedding, the idea about cancelling the marriage and giving up on her dream crossed her mind but instantly she had to remind herself that Chanyeol wanted to be a rapper and a musician. If she gave up on the idea of taking over her family’s business, her brother would be forced to do that and she just couldn’t get her brother in trouble for her own sake.

She sniffled one last time before standing up from the cold tiled floor of balcony. The unfamiliar ground, sky and view almost made her flinch again. When she had crossed the entrance of her so-called husband’s room a while ago, she didn’t know she would feel this frail later. She acted all strong in her front of her parents and uncle aunts according to Joon myeon’s instructions, just to lessen their worries and pains of her separation from them but she had no idea why she was feeling so broken right now. She felt betrayed and annoyed. She felt crushed and that’s what her best friend and brothers made her feel.

They left the ceremony right after they escorted her to the aisle. They didn’t show their face no matter how hard she cried in front of all the guests and media, asking her mother to bring them back but nothing could force them. She didn’t get the chance to see them again even Jong-in left right away leaving his own parents apologetic and annoyed. She didn’t care about Jong-in but she was worried. Dealing with an annoyed so-called husband was not something easy to go through. Jong-in had his plans to make her life living hell and she would have accepted this marriage slowly if Jong-in hadn’t said such things. She was not easy either but what really that guy had against her. She didn’t do anything other than just agreeing for marriage and well, if Eun-hee weren’t the one, there would be someone else. Who’s going to tell that her thick head husband.

She sighed and turned to enter the room again. Out in the balcony it was getting cold so she turned on the heating ventilators and went to bed. Jong-in’s room was as big as she had so it was easy for her to be at ease for the time being when Jong-in wasn’t home yet.

She was too tired to think or do anything. It wasn’t her body that tired but her mind. She was dealing with a head storm, an emotional break down and she just wanted to sleep to get her senses back and in working order. She had no heart to deal with anything that moment and she knew, Joon myeon and Jong-in’s family left her on her own just to let her deal with the sentimental storm anybody could sense flaring in her, first. She needed her space and time that Jong-in’s considerate family had provided her without her asking.

She was thankful for that and it felt a bit warmer thinking about how nice Jong-in’s family was. Jong-dae, Jong-in’s brother, how he treated her like a friend ,when her family introduced her to Jong-in’s family, as if they knew each other for ages, and how Minseok, Jong-in’s elder cousin comforted her with simply patting her head, how Joon myeon tried to lesson her worries by saying that he was there. Moreover Jong-in’s best friend Kyungsoo gave her a warm smile telling her that everything will be alright and he’s going to take care of her as her own sister. When everyone in Jong-in’s family was this kind and nice then what was wrong with Jong-in; she shifted in her position under the covers with a wondering and sleepy mind before she heard a loud creak across the room.

The room was dark and warm. She had already turned off the lights and she wanted to fall asleep comfortably under the warm covers quickly but the sudden creak she heard from the entrance made her fidget and turn her side to see what was going on. She somewhat had the hint that it was Jong-in and it only left her heartbeat grow wild. She was nervous inwardly but she her face hidden under the thick clouds of dark expressed opposite of it.

She turned her side only to see light making its way in with a tall figure she presumed as Jong-in. She sighed inwardly and closed her eyes just to pretend that she’s sleeping already. She wanted to avoid any kind of conversation between she was certain would just be spat and nothing else. She was too upset to deal with Jong-in this very moment.

In a split of a second, the lights turned on. She felt the sharp light on her face but didn’t move a single muscle. She just had to stay calm and everything would be fine, or she thought so.

“What the hell are you doing on my bed?”

‘And Joon myeon bro said, Jong-in is shy and quiet’

Eun-hee visibly sighed and slowly opened her eyes. Her so-called husband was standing on the other side of the bed in a casual outfit and annoyed expression. Eun-hee clucked her jaws tightly into each other for a moment before speaking, letting the latter see her annoyed expressions and making him feel her piercing gaze straight on his face.

“I’m not in the mood to deal with you right now Mr. Kim; Your father told me that every single thing in this room is mine too, even I share your inheritance as well as you do share mine, so don’t bother me this hour. If you got any problem with that go deal with your father”.

She threw a cold glance at his face and turned her side on the bed before closing her eyes once again. Jong-in clutch his both fists tightly. How dare this girl talk back like that to him, he exhaled sharply.

“Get off my bed right now”

He shouted but she didn’t respond. Not a single muscle that fidgeted!

He gritted his teeth and walked towards the other side of the bed. She had her right hand beneath her cheek and long hair all spread on the pillow, he wasn’t there to worship her beauty that moment, so he grabbed her from her forearm and with just a light jerk, made her sit on the bed with wide open and surprised eyes.

“I said, off, get off my bed!”

He made sure to chew every word before spitting on her face. Eun-hee blinked her eyes in order to push back her flaring anger inside but it didn’t seem to work out. The anger and annoyance washed over her completely.

“I said, go deal with your father Mr. Kim,” She chewed mocking him and tore his hand off her forearm. “And don’t touch me ever again, don’t you dare Mr. Kim”

Jong-in’s tolerance reached to its limits he just couldn’t take it. His so-called wife was driving him crazy.

“Really,” He bent with dark eyes and a cold glare making Eun-hee bent her back just to prevent the latter from coming close “What would you do, I want to see, tell me what would you do if I touched you?”

Jong-in tried to grab her forearm again but before he could touch she pushed him back with the self-defense hand move. He was thrown back at the ground with a loud thud.

“If you are done fooling around, then just sleep, I’m tired”

She chewed the words again and lay down again as if nothing happened just now. Jong-in was first shocked but he was incensed at this action. He looked at her face with extreme annoyance. He wanted to crush that peaceful and beautiful face of hers but he held himself back and rushed towards the rest room in order to calm himself down.

****

A tear fell from the corner of her eye and she sniffled quietly. Jong-in was by her side sleeping soundly, with heat ventilators turned off and dark covering the entire room with its thick black clouds. She didn’t fight with Jong-in about the heat ventilators even though she felt cold even under covers. She had no heat to do that at that moment. Why she had to go through the emotional tiring circumstances once again?

She sniffled and looked towards the back of Jong-in the dark. The fragile balcony light on Jong-in’s back was hurting her eyes but that was not the reason, why she wasn’t able to sleep. She herself wasn’t sure of any reason for that. She just wasn’t able to. Just couldn’t!

‘Sehun how can you betray your friend like this, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Yixing ge, Mom, dad..'

She bit back a sob and her breath hitched. She wasn’t a weak girl but she felt so, at this moment when her precious people left her in the dark, alone to deal with something she had never imagined she would go through.

“I’ll make sure you cry like that everyday Mrs. Kim, you shouldn’t have done what you did today, my dear wife”.

Jong-in’s whisper sent shivers down her spine. He wasn’t facing her but his voice was deep and full of annoyance. She didn’t know he was awake but it made her feel so sick and tired that she turned her back towards his back. It was an embarrassment. She didn’t want to show him her weak side but if it’s done already she’ll do anything to rectify her mistake of showing him her weak side.

She didn’t reply. This wasn’t a good hour to pick a fight so just remained hushed.
This was the matter of time who was gonna make the other one cry. She sighed and closed her eyes exhaustedly.

********

Notes