"Dressing Zico"

It had been a week since Vita’s funeral and no one had seen Zico since. He told his manager to cancel everything on his calendar until he was ready to go back to work. That also freed me up since I didn’t have to work on clothes for anything. Marco was instructed not to let me go anywhere except the hotel so I did a lot of swimming and working out in the hotel gym. The plus to that was I was starting to lose my little chubby tummy. I was also getting closer to Marco regardless of whether Zico wanted us to or not. He was my only playmate. I got him to show me some things about lifting weights and I actually got him to thumb wrestle me a few times. He always let me win.
When I tried to call Zico, I got no answer. I talked to his manager about my going to see him but he said that he wasn’t to be disturbed. That ticked me off a little. Finally I got tired of it. I got out my Zico key and went to the elevator. The manager had told Marco not to let me bother Zico but Marco was MY bodyguard and MY friend so the manager didn’t have much sway when I became determined. In the elevator, I put the key in the lock and turned it and Marco said, “That is off limits.”
“Not to me, Marco,” I said.
The doors opened and Zico was nowhere to be found. I knew where he was so I told Marco to sit on the couch and watch tv or read a magazine or something. “I might be a while.”
Opening Zico’s bedroom door, all that greeted me was darkness. I couldn’t see him but I could feel him. I could hear his soft breathing. I went in and closed the door. “Zico?”
No answer.
“Zico, I know you’re awake.”
Nothing.
“It’s been a week Zico. I know you are in pain but laying here alone in the dark is making it worse, not better. You need to come out and talk to us and let us help you.”
I could hear the sheets rustle as he moved.
“Please talk to me.”
Nothing.
“Okay. I understand. You need some more time. But I want you to understand that I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be outside this door and when you are ready, I’ll be here for you.”
I started to open the door when I heard in the softest voice, “Would you lay with me for a little while?”
I closed the door and moved toward the bed. When I found it, I took off my shoes and lay down. I felt around the big bed until I found Zico. He was curled up and turned away from me. I curled around him and put my arm around his waist. He cuddled up closer to me and held onto my arm. I turned my head and laid my cheek against his back and listened to his breathing. After a few minutes, I could feel him shuddering and I knew he was crying. I squeezed a little tighter and got as close as I could.
“Shhhh…” I tried to sooth him. “It’s okay. I’ll stay as long as you need me too,” I whispered.
Then I heard a heart breaking sob come from him and he said, “My Vita’s gone…”
“I know sweetheart. I know.” I also started to cry.
He turned toward me and lay his head on my chest. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. I put my arms around him and ran my fingers through his hair to comfort him as he cried harder and harder. “My Vita’s gone…”
I knew this was what he had needed. He didn’t need to be left alone to wallow in his own grief. He needed to share it with someone and get rid of it. I was glad to be that person. At that moment, I would have taken it all for him.
We laid like that for a long time. He quieted down but he didn’t let me go. I began rubbing his back and his arm. He put a leg over mine. It was like he couldn’t get close enough. After a little while, the darkness and the warmth of being wrapped up in Zico, made me drowsy. I was just going off to sleep when I felt Zico kissing my neck. Just tender little kisses. His soft tongue felt nice against my skin. His hand reached under my shirt and began gently caressing my stomach. My own hand reached up an touched his cheek. He turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand. He pushed my shirt up and I sat up a little so that he could remove it. I also pulled his up and over his head. His warm skin on mine made me want more. More of him. All of him. I took off my bra. His hand found my breast as his mouth covered mine. I took his tongue into my mouth and gently sucked until he moaned. His fingers rubbed and squeezed my nipple until I felt an ache start to spread between my thighs. His kisses traveled down and took over where his fingers had left off.
My fingers had found their way into his hair and I pulled a little and arched my back as his mouth worked it’s way from one nipple to the next. Zico pushed my skirt up and pulled my panties down around my thighs. I gasped as his hand grazed my wetness and his fingers slid into me. He groaned as his fingers began to do the work that another part of his body was aching to do. I pushed at his shorts to get rid of them. With his every touch, my body was more and more desperate to have him inside of me. Every moment felt like torture.
I cried out when he removed his fingers from me. He finished taking off his clothes and then slowly placed kisses down my leg as he pulled my panties the rest of the way down. I also pushed at the skirt and he removed that too. His hands slowly made their way up my legs as they parted them and he began to kiss the hottest part of me. I reached down and ran my hands through his hair. His tongue was driving me beyond my limits. Just before I came, he sat up, grabbed my thighs, and slowly entered me.
“Zico!” I cried.
Softly he said, “Please don’t call me Zico. I don’t want to be Zico. Not right now. Not with you. I want to be Jiho with you.”
He moved deeper into me as his mouth took mine. Zico began to surround me. He filled me, he covered me, and in that moment, he owned me. Tiny sounds escaped from me each time he pulled and pushed and he said, “Elizabeth! You are driving me crazy. I can’t stand it.”
“Deeper Jiho. I need more. I need more of you. I need all of you.”
He growled then as his movements became more urgent and rough. Each time he plunged into me he growled deep. He began to scrape his teeth against my neck as he became faster, his teeth nipping at my skin, sending tiny shocks through my body. His breathing was matching his rhythm. So was mine. I wrapped my legs around his thighs to pull him even closer and deeper as my body found it’s release.
Zico didn’t last much longer. I felt him throb deep inside of me as he came. Later I would worry about the fact that we hadn’t used any form of protection but in this moment, I didn’t care. I loved the feeling of him and that he left a part of himself inside of me. As he lay there breathing hard, slick with the sweat from our bodies, and holding me to him as he nuzzled my neck, I didn’t care about anything else. Everything was Zico.
When he could move again, he curled his body around mine, pulled the blankets up over us, and we slept.

A couple of hours later, I woke up and I knew that Zico was awake too. His breath was blowing over my ear and through my hair which tickled my cheek. I turned over in his arms and lightly kissed his lips.
“I think it’s time we get up and have some breakfast,” I said. I reached up and smoothed his hair down.
“I’m not hungry,” said Zico.
“When was the last time you ate?” I asked.
“I don’t remember.”
“That’s what I thought.” I ran my hand over his forehead and cupped his cheek. “Will you please try to eat? For me?”
He grumbled. Then he said, “I guess I could eat some toast.”
“Okay. Go have a shower and I’ll order something.”
He didn’t like that idea either but he did it. When I raised the shades, I saw that his eyes were swollen and that he probably hadn’t seen daylight since the funeral. I also saw that the floor was littered with Soju bottles and he must have spent the first part of the week completely blitzed.
He sat on the side of the bed with his eyes closed as I found some clean clothes for him. When he was in the bathroom and I heard the shower running, I went into the living room where I found Marco, just as I had left him. Crap! I forgot about Marco. I really hope this place has soundproof walls!
I went over and patted his head. He pretended to hate that but I could see the grin pulling at the corner of his mouth and the twinkle in his eyes.
“I’m sorry Marco. Zico needs a lot of comforting right now. I didn’t mean to ignore you and leave you sitting out here.”
He looked at Zico’s bedroom door and whispered behind his hand, “It’s my job Miss.”
I smiled down at him and patted his head again. Then I picked up the phone and ordered a huge breakfast. I had a feeling that once Zico had a little bit of food in his tummy, he was going to want more. A lot more.
The food came before Zico came out so I set it out on the table and told Marco to go ahead and eat. He didn’t want to but he knew I wouldn’t stop until he did so he ate. Zico finally came out looking a lot better than before. When he saw Marco, I could tell he was thinking the same thing that I had thought. He came over and sat beside me at the table. I watched as he nibbled a little bit of toast and then took a drink of juice. Slowly, he took bigger bites and then grabbed another piece. This time he added some butter and took a small bite of a fried egg. I pretended not to notice as I ate my breakfast but I payed attention to everything he was doing. He put some hash-brown potatoes on his plate and a whole fried egg. Then he buttered two more pieces of toast and added jelly. When we were done, every bite of food was gone and Zico had a little more color to him than when he came out. I was very happy.
“Would you like to watch a movie?” I asked.
“I think I’ll just go lay down,” he said getting up from the table.
I hurried to stop him. “No, you aren’t! If you want to lay down, you can lay out here on the couch with me!”
“Elizabeth,” he whined as I took his hand and led him to the couch. I sat in the corner and laid a pillow in my lap. I pulled him down beside me and patted the pillow. He did as I asked.
I turned on the tv and found a Running Man episode to watch. “Marco, will you please go in there and bring me a blanket?”
I think Marco understood “blanket” because when he heard that word, he hurried into the bedroom and brought one out. I arranged it around Zico and he wiggled under it until he got comfortable. I ran my fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. I pretended to watch the tv but all of my attention was really on Zico.
All of a sudden he opened his eyes and said, “I don’t remember the last thing I said to her. Why can’t I remember? I remember seeing her and hugging her but I don’t know what the last thing I said was.”
“The last thing you said was, ‘I love you very much,Vita’ and you kissed her on the top of her head,” I said
“Are you sure? How do you know?”
“I’m sure. I remember it clearly,” I said.
“Okay, well that’s good. I’m glad it wasn’t something silly.” He laid his head back down but he didn’t close his eyes. I kept fluffing his hair.
I noticed that Marco kept trying not to nod off. I scooted out from under Zico and stood up.
“Where are you going? You aren’t going are you? Don’t go!” He sounded panicked.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right back.” I went over to Marco and handed him my keycard. “Marco, I’m safe here with Zico. I want you to go to my room and have a nice long nap.”
He started to protest but I put my finger over his lips and shook my head. “Don’t argue with me! Go now! And if you don’t sleep, I’ll know!”
“Yes princess,” he said as he took the keycard. I walked him over to the elevator and patted his chest lovingly when he was inside. I’ll come down when I need you again. Sleep well!”
“Yes princess,’ he said and the doors closed.
I went back over to Zico and put his head back into my lap. I watched him out of the corner of my vision as he changed positions.
“Wait! Princess? What is that?” he asked.
“That is what I taught Marco to call me,” I said matter-of-factly.
“What? Why?”
“Why not?” I smiled.
“He isn’t supposed to be talking to you,” he said.
“Yeah, like that was gonna last,” I said.
“He had better be doing his job and not be playing around!” said Zico.
“I’m still alive aren’t I?”
Zico mumbled something under his breath that I couldn’t understand and I should probably be glad. He rolled over to face the back of couch and a few minutes later I noticed he was crying again. I pretended not to see but I ran my fingers through his hair just the same. He fell asleep. I looked at him and wondered how I ended up here. How did I end up in this situation? Look at this beautiful, heartbroken man who pretends to be such a hardass and hides this vulnerable soft side of himself from the world. Vita was right. She really knew him. He does have a gentle heart that needs to be protected. But am I the right person to be the protector of that heart? I mean, by all rights, I just met this man. Why is he opening up to me? He doesn’t know me. Not really.
He only slept for about fifteen minutes and then he woke up with a sharp intake of breath and stretched. Without looking, he reached up and felt around on me. Then he leaned up and started tugging on me. With my help, he pulled me down until I was stretched out beside him. He laid his head on my chest and cuddled me with his arm and a leg. I put my lips against his forehead. His hair smelled really good. Zico always smelled expensive.
He put his hand under my shirt and softly rubbed my belly. He moved his head up and nuzzled my neck, licking and nibbling behind my ear. I heard him whisper, “Kiss me.” So I did. It was a slow comfortable kiss. We just laid there and kissed for a long time.
I knew that I wouldn’t get him out of the hotel anytime soon so I settled with laying here with him for the rest of the evening. Sometimes we made out and sometimes we just held each other. He told me some stories about Vita and about him and Taewoon when they were little. He asked questions about me. He showed me each of his tattoos and told me the stories behind them. I didn’t have tattoos to show him so I showed him my scars and told him the stories about them. We massaged each others backs and legs and tried not to become too aroused. I so failed at that but I didn’t let him know. He failed too but he couldn’t hide it so I didn’t say anything.
Zico still cried a lot but I knew that he was healing and that tomorrow he might be ready to join the rest of the world. For tonight we pretended that it was just us.

Notes