"Dressing Zico"

My mornings always began the same way now. I had breakfast with one of my very favorite people in the world. Kim Marco. My big strong teddy bear was hanging in there. Everyone had given up on him. Everyone but me. I knew him too well to think he would leave this world without a fight.
Zico had made sure that he was kept in the best private room in the best hospital in South Korea with the best care possible. He liked to act like a cold hard-ass to the world but Zico’s heart was as tender as Marco’s when he thought no one was looking. I knew he blamed himself for Marco getting hurt. He blamed himself for everything whether it was his fault or not. He paid for two private nurses to stay with Marco at all times but when I came in the mornings, I gave the morning nurse a short break. I liked to be alone with him.
We talked, well I talked, as I ate and then I rubbed salve into his wounds. He had lost so much weight that he didn’t look quite like himself. I thought that if Vita were still here, she could fatten him up in no time flat. Thinking of Vita made me tear up. I began to wonder if I was a jinx. So many people had been hurt or even killed since I came to Korea. Even though Vita’s death had nothing to do with me, I thought that Kim Marco’s stabbing did.
I bought a new gold earring for him. It was a teddy bear. He never would have worn it if he had been awake but right now he had no choice. I laughed a little to myself as I put it in his ear and thought of this big beast of a man being at my mercy. “I love you, Kim Marco,” I told him and kissed his cheek. “I need you so you need to wake up and help me with my plans.”
I sat and talked to Marco and told him all about what had been going on. I told him about Ji-Yong. I told him about being in the hospital and how his brother had stepped into his place while he was away. I let him know how wonderful Kim Hwan had been. Absently, I started to draw doodles on the notepad beside his bed. As I talked, I began to make a little list.
“Marco,” I paused and waited to see if he would say “Polo” but he didn’t. “I have decided to take my life back. It really isn’t like me to back down so easily and I’ve been acting like a helpless victim in this whole thing. The first thing I’m going to do is get my job back. I still have a contract with Zico so technically, the job is still mine.” Absently, I tore the doodle sheet off and wrote a 1 at the top of the clean sheet. Then I wrote MY JOB beside it.
“The second thing I’m going to do is get my room back in Zico’s hotel. Even if he is staying with Horse-face! At least I’ll have my foot back in the door. Physical proximity is key.” I wrote a 2 under the first one and beside it I wrote MY ROOM.
“I know I can’t make Zico love me or want me but I don’t think I have to. All of his actions lately have said that he still wants me. He stayed with me in the hospital. He even fought Ji-Yong for me. Oh yeah… remind me to tell you about that some time.” I laughed to myself and shook my head. “I don’t think it would take much to get him back though. He and Alicia seem to fight all the time. I could be wrong but I don’t think I am. I believe Alicia confused him and even he is realizing that he made a mistake. I hope,” I said wistfully as I wrote a 3 under the 2 and wrote out MY ZICO beside it.
“The last thing I have to do, Marco, is to get rid of Alicia Wright for good.” I laughed again because it sounded like I was planning a homicide. “She needs to go back to the US and stay far away from us. I have no idea how I’m going to do that but I’ll think of something. That’s why you need to wake up so that you can help me. You always have the best ideas.” I wrote a big 4 and then GOODBYE ALICIA WRIGHT!
Tearing out the page and folding it in half, I put it in my pocket and bent down to kiss Marco. “Tomorrow we should have biscuits and gravy. Don’t you agree?”

One thing I didn’t discuss with Marco was maybe the biggest problem I had. Ji-Yong. I really liked him. REALLY liked him. I didn’t know what to do about him so I decided to think about it later. Now I was going to go to see him and enjoy being in his presence. He exuded happiness and energy and it was contagious. Two things I could use a lot of right now.
Big Bang was taping a variety show and Ji-Yong invited me to come and watch. I was excited to see him and to see the rest of the group again. It was a taping of the show Weekly Idol and Ji-Yong really didn’t want to go. He hated the silly things they made them do on these kinds of shows but it was all a part of being an idol. Being a circus monkey was part of the business. But instead of dancing for peanuts, people were throwing money. Lots of it.
I really wished I was the designer for Big Bang. I would completely rethink their wardrobe. A makeover for that group was way overdue in my opinion. I figured with them being so close to military age, the company didn’t think it was worth the effort to repackage them. Sad. I had so many ideas!
When I got to the studio, Ji-Yong had left instructions with the attendant that I be taken to the front and given a drink that he had purchased himself and that was still sealed. I couldn’t help but smile. It was a lemon drink. I hated lemon so I laughed, popped it open, and stuck my straw in. There was no way I wasn’t going to drink it. After I took a sip, I told myself it really wasn’t that bad. Yes it is, I thought. I might have to make a trip to the bathroom…and pour it down the sink. Either way, that drink was going to be empty by the end of the taping. Then, out of nowhere, I thought, Zico would have gotten me tea. I love tea. I shook Zico right out of my head.
The MC Cony came over and introduced himself. He didn’t speak English so all he could really do was make the introduction and smile at me. It was very sweet. The taping began shortly after and when the boys came out Ji-Yong winked at me and Young-bae grinned. I blushed.
Ji-Yong was right. They did make them do really stupid things but I found myself laughing at most of them. Especially T.O.P. He was really good at showmanship. Ji-Yong was quiet. Seungri tried to hog the spotlight whenever he got the opportunity. Daesung was quiet too unless the attention was on him. Young-bae never wanted the attention on him.
When the taping was over, the attendant came and took me backstage. He waited outside while I made a quick stop at the bathroom. I honestly did have to pee…and pour that hideous drink down the drain. What Ji-Yong didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
I waited in a cute little sitting room with bright pink chairs that I sunk into when I sat down. It was so soft and squishy that it practically swallowed me. I felt like a little girl but I also felt like I could sleep there. Comfortably. Ji-Yong laughed at me when he came in to get me.
“Oh, you are laughing at me? You were pretty funny driving that tiny car during the show you know!” I said as I laughed too.
“Come on jjing-jjing-i . Lets have lunch,” he said.
I tried to get out of the chair but it was just too squishy. It was eating me. I couldn’t get my feet on the ground to help push myself up. Ji-Yong watched me for a minute and instead of helping me, he fell into the chair opposite mine and died laughing. He was laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach and had tears at the corners of his incredible eyes.
“Ji-Yong!” I whined. “Stop! Come and help me!”
He laughed harder.
Finally, Daesung came to the door and stood there watching the show. He looked very confused. I know I was red-faced, both from trying to get out of the chair and from embarrassment and Ji-Yong was red-faced from laughing so hard. I didn’t know him but I decided to beg his help anyway.
“Daesung, will you please give me a hand? And then can you punch Ji-Yong in the face for me?” I asked with a straight face.
He considered a minute, my remark making Ji-Yong laugh so hard that he couldn’t breath, and shrugged. “Sure!”
Daesung came over and offered his hand. I took it and pulled myself out of the chair. We stood there watching Ji-Yong laughing which only made him worse. Then Daesung couldn’t help himself and started laughing too. I stared at him.
“Okay! You said you would punch him in the face!” I said with the straightest face I could make. Then I couldn’t do it anymore. I joined in the merriment. I mean, it really was funny.
Ji-Yong finally stopped laughing and lay there in the big pink squishy chair staring up at us and holding his tummy. “I love you guys!” he said.

The restaurant was quiet and cool and Ji-Yong led me in with his hand on the small of my back. For some reason, that has always been very sensual to me. It makes me feel a little bit possessed. And being possessed by G-Dragon didn’t seem to be a bad thing.
He ordered for us, which made me a bit nervous. I don’t usually like men ordering for me because I have picky taste-buds but Ji-Yong promised me I would like this dish. Zico would order for me but he usually ordered steak and never gave me a choice. I hadn’t minded. Much. I thought about him sitting across from me pouring salt into his hand and making a mess. Looking over at Ji-Yong sitting quietly like a perfect gentleman made me miss Zico a little more. STOP thinking about Zico, you idiot! G-Dragon is sitting across from you and looking at you like he wants to devour you. Millions of girls want to be in your place! MILLIONS!
I smiled at Ji-Yong and reached over to caress his hand. He pulled my fingers in between his fingers and thumb and held them there. “I wanted to ask you something,” he said.
My heart sped up. When someone has to warn you that they are going to ask something, it’s never a good question. “Oh. Okay,” I said, my mouth dry.
“Will you be my date for the MAMA’s?”
I sucked in a breath and realized I hadn’t been breathing. “Oh my gosh! You scared me to death!” I said and laughed, lightly covering my mouth with my free hand.
“Why? I’m sorry. Did you think I was going to say something horrible?” he asked.
“Yes! You sounded so serious!”
“Well, it is serious. Sort of. It’s months ahead and kind of a big deal.”
“Are you sure you want to commit to that this early?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” he said and letting go of my hand he sipped his water. “I don’t want to go with anyone else and I know I won’t change my mind. But will you?”
Would I?
“I would love to go with you,” I said.
“Aaaaand you just made my night,” he said and kissed my hand.
I smiled up at him with a blush brightening my cheeks. He leaned in for a kiss and as I put my lips against his I saw something over his shoulder. There was a man at a table behind us trying to hide the fact that he was taking pictures of us with his phone. “Ji-Yong, there is a man behind you taking pictures of us,” I whispered.
He turned and looked at the man. “Come on man! We are having a private moment here! If those pictures are for your daughter, she won’t want them since I’m here with another woman.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about!” The man said and laid his phone on the table, covering it with his napkin.
“Look, I get it. And normally I don’t care but this beautiful young woman that I’m with isn’t in the business and deserves to have her privacy respected just like everyone else. Please stop.”
“Is she your fiance?” asked the man.
Ji-Yong stared at him for a moment. He turned back to me and said, “Turn around and keep your back to that man.”
“Um, okay. Why?” I was very confused.
“Just do it and I’ll explain in a moment,” he said, getting up from the table.
I turned around and watched Ji-Yong walk to the back of the restaurant and go through a door that I was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to go into. I was dying to know what was going on and what the strange man was doing now but I didn’t turn around to look.
Soon, Ji-Yong came out with two men from the restaurant. He pointed behind me and sat back down at our table. “You can turn around now,” he said and tapped my arm.
I turned and watched as the two large gentlemen talked to the man at the other table. After a moment, they escorted him outside.
“What was that about?” I asked.
“He was a reporter for some trashy magazine so I had him ejected,” Ji-Yong said and spread his napkin on his lap.
“You can just do that?” I asked, impressed.
He grinned his little boy grin and said, “He was harassing you and I won’t have that.”
“Uh, he was harassing you,” I said.
“No, I’m a public figure and expect to be photographed and written about. You aren’t. So I had him bounced.”
I laughed. “I know it’s horrible of me but that is so impressive.”
“Good! I love to shock you. It keeps you interested.” He laughed too because he knew he sounded ridiculous.
Our food came out then and it smelled delicious. It looked a little questionable but I was going to try it anyway. I started to ask him what I was about to put into my mouth but I saw something that made my stomach sour. For the second time that night I saw something I didn’t want to see over Ji-Yong’s shoulder. Coming through the restaurant door was Zico and Alicia. I noted that his hand was nowhere near the small of her back.
I put my chopsticks down.
“Are you okay? What is it?” Ji-Yong looked at me with concern. “Are you sick?”
“I am now,” I said. “Can you have them ejected?”
“What? Who?” He asked and turned around to see what had upset me. “Oh.”
I saw the look on Ji-Yong’s face and was instantly sorry that I had said anything. “You know what?” I asked. “Who cares? Let’s ignore them. They have nothing to do with us.”
“No, you are right. They don’t. Can you ignore them?” he asked. He had deflated a little.
“Of course. I’ve gotten very good at it in fact,” I said.
We looked at each other and laughed a little. I raised my fork and said, “Now, what in the hell is this?”

The atmosphere of the restaurant seemed even colder after that but we both did our best to ignore the creep show that was going on at the table just beyond ours. It was harder for me since they were behind Ji-Yong and I could see Zico very clearly. Either he hadn’t spotted me or he was pretending that he hadn’t. Compared to my date he was a mess. He had a suit on but it was rumpled and his tie was crooked. His hair was perfect except for a small cowlick in the very back. He was leaning back in his chair and wasn’t paying any attention to Alicia at all. She looked exceptional as always. Everything in its place without any visible imperfections. Hair perfect. Clothes perfect even if they were slutty. Perfect makeup and skin. God I hate her!
I looked at Ji-Yong and he was staring at me. “You aren’t ignoring them,” he said.
“I’m sorry. Was I looking at them?” I asked innocently.
“More like memorizing,” he said.
“Ji-Yong! I was not!” I tried to play with him to ease the tension. It didn’t work.
“You still love him,” he said and took a drink of his wine.
My mouth gaped open. I couldn’t believe he just went there. “I do not,” I said and began putting food into my mouth a little too quickly.
“He’s still in love with you too. He just fucked up and now he doesn’t know how to fix it. He’s stuck.”
Not only did he go there… he went farther! “Ji-Yong, that is far from the truth. He made his choice and I’m sure he’s happy with it.”
He turned around in his seat, unabashedly, and took in the couple behind us that was clearly having a fight. “Yes. He looks like a man that is ecstatic to be with his date.” He faced me again and picked up his chopsticks. “The same man that felt he had the right to let himself into your apartment and proceeded to try and beat my brains in because he thought I was doing something ungodly to you.”
“He’s just protective,” I said.
“Of his designer?” Ji-Yong asked.
“Yes. Of all of his staff. He would do the same for any of them.” I didn’t want to have this conversation.
“Elizabeth, you know I’m right.”
I didn’t answer. Instead I watched as Alicia made her way to the bathroom and Zico finally noticed me. The oddest look came over his face. I’ve seen that look before. It was the same look he always got when he was about to do something that he shouldn’t. The cocky way he held his mouth. Partly open, bottom jaw a little crooked. It’s the same look he gets when he is about to pounce and have his way with you. I thought and felt a tickle in the pit of my stomach.
Don’t come over here. Please, don’t. Do Not Come Over Here, Zico! DON’T DO IT.
He did it.
“So, how are the love birds this evening? What’s on the agenda tonight? Candle wax? Hot Fudge? Whips and chains?” asked Zico as he straightened his tie.
“What do you want Zico? Come over to make sure I’m not putting poison in the food?” asked Ji-Yong. He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms as he looked up at Zico.
“Maybe. Did you?” Zico asked.
If a person could stare daggers then both of these men would have one stuck right between their eyes. I couldn’t do anything but stare back and forth from one to the other. I didn’t know what to say or if I should say anything. It didn’t seem to have anything to do with me.
“Not ours,” said Ji-Yong without missing a beat. “We were just finishing up so if you don’t mind, we will be going. We have a dungeon room reserved and waiting for us.” He stood and offered his hand to me and it took me a moment to understand that we were really leaving. I took his hand and tried not to look at Zico, who didn’t move so that I could stand up. I had to move my chair over.
I could smell him. Zico had a special cologne made just for him and it was unmistakable. And sexy as hell. I couldn’t help but breath him in and close my eyes as I scooted past him.
Ji-Yong wrapped his arm around my waist tightly and led me out the door as Zico stood there and watched us go. I looked back once more and felt a twinge of pity as his look changed from cocky to sad and he looked down at his feet.
Oh, Zico…

Notes