First Snow

I finally saw the first snowflake this winter.
Yeah right.
Exceptionally fooled again by the clockwork decoration on the wind sill.
That winter was probably the warmest one yet but it sure wouldn’t stop me from having another Christmas party with my beloved friends.

Okay, let’s face it: among any group of friends that one has, there will always be one friend whom he/she is interested in. Same case as mine right now.

I decided to be unconventional and planned a garden themed party instead albeit still booking a glass paneled room so that we would still be warm while admiring the garden.

I was ecstatic at that time because I hadn’t had the chance to meet her at all this year because of my work. Well, I couldn’t exactly blame her for my busy schedule.

The door creaked and I still remembered how I thought I saw an angel for she dyed her hair white and her clothes were all white. She was the first to arrive and without hesitation, she came close and greeted me with the warmth of the sun in a cold winter day.

I told her to stay warm while I decidedly start to spam call the others who apparently made plans to be late on purpose. While I was desperately rallying them in vain, she slipped away and stood by the railing outside.

I couldn’t quite pinpoint what is it about her that made my heart ache. Even earlier, despite her smile, I could sense despair in her eyes but dare not to ask.

It shouldn’t be like that.

Silently, I took my place beside her, my back on the railing while observing her aimlessly looking at the black winter sky.

“What are you doing?”

Her body shuddered for a while, I should have said that while making sure my presence was known first.

“Oh, it’s just you.” She startled, “I am waiting for the first snow. I still want my white Christmas this year.”

She wasn’t crying but I could tell she was holding it in.

I didn’t want to be the one who broke the news to her that there wouldn’t be any white Christmas since it would be raining instead. In this weather, getting drenched outside is way worse than having snow piling.
The wind started to pick up speed, mocking her over her faith in Mr. Snow.

It was my cue.

“Do you want to wait inside instead? It’ll be warmer. You’ll get sick if you’re out in the cold for too long.” I gestured at the fireplace inside. “I’ll order some hot chocolate with those marshmallows that you adore so much.” I tried to lure her in as best as I could but despite my efforts, she just stared at me with her moist eyes. Eventually, she gently refused.

“I don’t want to miss it. I’ll go inside when I know I can’t take it anymore so don’t worry about me and stay warm inside, okay.”

“Don’t be silly.. This might be the warmest winter yet but it doesn’t mean that you should even be out in the first place.” I grabbed her hands and flinched at the touch. “Please go inside while I’m still being nice.” I didn’t want to fight with her as much as I didn’t want her to not fall sick or see the first snow but her health came first.

“I know.” Her voice cracked. I could faintly trace the tears rolling down her cheeks. “Just leave me alone, will you?” Her face is blushing so much.

I couldn’t take it.

As the wind started to blow furiously, I grabbed her wrist and swung her till she was under my coat. She didn’t resist.

We stood there for a while before I realized that my sweater was starting to get soaked but I let her anyway.

To be honest, I knew what was wrong from the start.
I heard stories from our friends.
Something terrible was brewing in her life but none knew the exact problem.
They all relied on him to find out the truth.

In the end, I managed to persuade her to come inside before another breeze knocked her out.

While I was trying to take out my coat, she grabbed a hold of my sweater.
No words were truly needed at that moment.
I knew.
She needed me.

In the end, for around half an hour or so, we both laid down on the sofa with her head leaning on my chest. While caressing her hair, I desperately tried focusing on her stories because well, I was distracted by how lovely she smelled and how soft her hair was. I gave her a nod every now and then while trying to stay calm, hiding my racing heartbeat.

It wasn’t long before I realized that the first snow resembled her last hope in life.
It wasn’t a pleasant year at all.
She had plans on telling someone about her problems but we were all so busy so she didn’t feel the need to bother us for such trivial matters.

As she fell silent, I gently stroked her, “You shouldn’t put your hopes on the things that you can’t control. You’ll only get disappointed when they don’t come true.”

“Can you grant me one wish then? I’ll promise it’ll be my last.”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I adjusted myself so I could face her properly. “That’s odd but sure. What is it?”

Without any warning, our lips touch. It was only for a brief moment but it was so magical. That was when I realized that she liked me in that way.

“Please pretend that the kiss never happened. That is my wish.” She declared while starting to get up. “I was just being stupid and foolish like I always do.”

“Can you grant me one wish too then? So we’re even.”

I didn’t need to think about what I was going to do next.
I gently cupped her face in my hand and planted a deep kiss on her tiny soft lips.

“Let me make you happy. That is my wish.”

You could call it a miracle or fate or whatever but right after I said that, the first snow had fallen. Her hope was still alive.

Notes