As Blind As Could Be...

[A/N: It’s Korean tradition for the family members and friends to mourn only on the day or night he/she dies. Not the next day. Not until the funeral. A Korean funeral lasts for three days. I should know because I am Korean lol. But anyways, you won’t be seeing mourning from the members or anything because they aren’t allowed to… it’s a weird tradition, but it’s true. And the point of this chapter is “Chaney” or Chanyeol and Honey so meh.]

Kyungsoo died yesterday. In this very spot you’re sitting in right now. You sit in the hospital bed, staring at the white wall in front of you. Mind, only thinking about Kyungsoo. Mind set on Kyungsoo. Regrets pouring in and out of your brain. Your lunch is still untouched, sitting on a wheeling table next to you. Alone. In a room. With a fork and a spoon. With a FORK and a spoon.

Your eyes gaze at the fork, but your head stays looking forward. Shaking, you cautiously pick the fork up and hold it with both hands.

How did Kyungsoo feel when I was blinded by our father? What regrets did he have? Was he thinking the same as I am now? How it should’ve been me instead of him?

All of these questions circulate your mind as you fiddle with the metal fork.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to do something crazy with that.” Seungsoo points to the fork.

You blink at him and drop the fork on the blanket.

“When did you come?” You ask.

“Just as you picked that up.” He replies, notioning the fork.

He sits on the hospital bed with you and holds your hands in his.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

You sigh. How do you explain the pain you’re feeling right now? It’s unexplainable, that’s what.

“Regretful.” You say, looking down at your hands. “I regret acting so careless around him. He had to die for me to realize you shouldn’t take advantage of time… and spend it wisely with the ones you love. It should’ve been me. It’s all my fault.”

Seungsoo sighs.

“Well…” Seungsoo clears his throat. “I know I’m not the older brother I’m suppose to be… for you and Kyungsoo. I also know that I’m not that close with either of you. But I know enough, Eunsoo-ah. I don’t think Kyungsoo would want you to spend the rest of your life regretting your past.”

You look up at him.

“What do you know.” You say, narrowing your eyes.

“That’s how Kyungsoo recovered years ago.” Seungsoo replies. “He hated himself, hated how weak he was and how he couldn’t protect you from father. He regretted letting you get hurt so easily. He regretted watching you… watching father blind you with this…”

He grabs the fork and shows you.

“He didn’t tell you any of this. Kyungsoo couldn’t live and deal with himself knowing you were the one who got hurt instead of him.” Seungsoo sighs. “But. He learned to forgive himself and slowly move on. And I think that would’ve been what Kyungsoo wanted you to do.”

He shut you up. No words came out of your mouth afterwards. Maybe he was right. We should take risks… right? You should take risks. You might regret it if you don’t. You will regret it.

“Thank you.” You hug Seungsoo. “Thank you for sharing this information with me. I guess I shouldn’t blame myself for his death. Entirely, at least. I’ll take your words to heart.”

Seungsoo, who is now a physiatrist after receiving his degrees in England, came everyday and stayed with you all day. He did exercises with you, and talked with you. And soon, you were able to forgive yourself and tell yourself it wasn’t your fault. Jongin was forced to come as well. Not that he didn’t enjoy it though.

Chanyeol and the boys would visit a lot too. But, Seungsoo didn’t let them stay longer than one hour. Seungsoo was determined to help you recovery as soon as possible. He didn’t want you to get any worse than you already were.

Jongin would often sleep in the hospital bed with you. He treated you like you were the most important thing in his life. Again. You don’t blame him though… he lost someone he loved… not the same way as you love Kyungsoo. Just imagine losing… Wait. Who do you love? Chanyeol? Luhan?

But all you could say it that you’re more than grateful to Seungsoo for helping you get better. Kyungsoo… is always in your heart.

------

Day of your discharge… Fourteen days after his death… Eight days before his funeral.

President Lee accepted your offer. Your offer to break the contract. But he had conditions. But… you don’t know what they are yet. He hasn’t informed you and the members the details yet.

And as of now, President Lee has cancelled EXO’s schedule. Everything. Word got out about Kyungsoo. Known worldwide… South Korea, China, Japan, United States, Philippines, Mexico, Russia, every EXO fan and anti-fan knew about it.

Everyone thinks EXO is dorm-bound in Gangnam. But in reality, you’rs under protection of your father. Back in Songpa-gu.

Chanyeol came to get you from the hospital. You didn’t request anyone to escort you back home… but you guess he has something to tell you.

You check outside the window of your hospital room. Hundreds, no, thousands of fans are waiting outside for you. You see five cars enter the valet area. FIVE CARS?! Four of them have body guards coming out of it. The middle had Chanyeol. They manage to get Chanyeol inside the hospital within seconds. His face from your view isn’t visible because he wears a hat. It takes too many bodyguards to hold back all of your fans waiting.

After a few minutes, Chanyeol walks in.

Eunsoo’s POV

“Are you ready to leave?” Chanyeol asks, standing a few feet from me.

“Eo.” I say. “Just bear with me… it still hurts here.”

I put my hand on my stomach and he nods. He takes my hand to help me stand, not letting go. As we start to walk, I can feel his eyes locked onto mine. He’s making me nervous. My hands start to sweat and I break out interlock. He stops walking for a moment, then continues, following behind me. I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea.

We walk slowly to the elevator. No one speaks for a few seconds.

“There’s a lot of people and fans… so we have to move quickly.” Chanyeol informs me.

“How are we suppose to succeed in doing that if I can barely walk at all?” I sigh. “This plan sucks.”

“Yah-” Chanyeol is about to fight back, but he stops… for some reason.

I hope he’s not going to do anything stupid.

He picks me up bridal style and to my surprise, I don’t stop him.

“I guess this works.” I say.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders. I feel him stiffen. My eyes stay locked onto his. I wonder how long he stayed with me while I was unconscious in the hospital room. Without realising, I put my right hand on his cheek and caress his soft, baby face. His hat created a shadow on the upper half of his face. He looks mysterious and definitely tired. I want to see him full hair. I can see from his sideburns and back of his hair (lower part where the hat doesn’t cover it) he dyed it gray again. I bet it’s gorgeous. Wait… what? Coming back to my senses, I quickly take my hand off of his face break our stare. What was I thinking? Yeesh.

He bites his lip and grins, still staring at me. He lifts me up in the air once, lightly, to get a better grip on me. The elevator opens. Thank god we are already on the main level… the awkwardness is insane.

We’re greeted by bodyguards. Father. Sheeshes always going overboard. I look outside and fans were being squished onto the windows and pushes and everything. Nope, nevermind, I think actually, father did less than usual.

“Chanyeol…” I hesitate. “I’m scared.”

“I’m here… Don’t worry.” Chanyeol says determined. “I won’t let you get hurt… any more hurt than you already are.”

He takes his hat off, holding me with one arm. He’s strong. My Chanyeol’s matured. He puts his hat on me and his hair is revealed. I smile and ruffle his blonde hair with both of my hands.

“Aigoo, you look so handsome.” I smile. He really does.

“Aish, jinja.” Chanyeol snaps at me, then smiles.

Mixed emotions much? I fix his hair and put my arms back around him.

As we get closer to the hospital double doors, I tighten my grip around his shoulders and bury my face in his shoulder. Hiding it from public view. His face is out in the open. I feel bad. Chanyeol’s doing all this for me and I can do nothing but watch him. Then, a guard comes and puts a mask on Chanyeol. Suddenly my guilt is gone. Well done bodyguard, whoop. *mentally claps hands for him* ANYWAYS-

Out the doors we go…

The first thing we hear is fans scream like their lives depended on it. Reporters, paparazzi, news channel, like… trillions of fans. [Obviously not said to scale].

Someone grabs my shoe. Yeesh these fans are asking for it. I wriggle around and manage to get Chanyeol to release me. I take his hat off and put it on him.

“Is that all you want?” I shout. “My shoes? My hair? My clothes? My attention?”

“Young master, we can’t hold them off for too long.” A guard tells me.

UAGHH. I know they're not worth it, but something’s just urging me to say something. I open my mouth, but Chanyeol stops me. He grabs my hand hard and drags me into the car. Fans surround all five of the cars. After 30 minutes of beeping and cursing and laieufhlaidshf of all of the bodyguards, we managed to get on the highway. There’s a window between the driver and us so he can’t hear what we’re saying. I’m glad… I don’t know what Chanyeol and I are going to be talking about. Gangnam to Songpa-gu is at least an hour long. With traffic, two.

Chanyeol still has a tight grip on my hand.

“Aren’t you going to let go?” I complain. “My hands getting too sweaty.”

Chanyeol immediately lets go of the grip.

“Sorry…” Chanyeol mutters.

I smile as I wipe the sweat on my thigh. I take my jacket off. I want to make myself comfortable if we’re going to be in the car for two hours. Chanyeol does the same. Tch. He wears such a fancy jacket, but only wears a white t-shirt under. Wait… why do I even care about what he wears?

For a few minutes, all we did was stare out at the slowly moving traffic. I notice that there are four black cars surrounding us. In front, back and our two sides. Grrr Appa. I guess if he’s not going to make a move, I’m going to have to.

“Why did you want to come get me?” I ask. “I could’ve just gone alone.”

“Wae, you don’t want me here? Shiro?” Chanyeol folds his arms in disbelief, annoyed, staring out the window.

That came out wrong. Oops, my bad.

“That’s not what I meant…” I try to rephrase. “I feel bad… you wasted the majority of your day coming to get me and taking me home. You didn’t have to.”

There, that sounds better. I wonder what he’s going to say. He stays quiet for a while.

“Hmph.” Chanyeol looks at you with narrow eyes, tightening his folded arms. “How could you say that. I’d rather be stuck in traffic with you for two hours than be waiting impatiently for you for two hours at home. Not knowing what to do with myself because I’m so worried about you.”

I can feel myself blush and I break the stare. So he still cares. More than friends. More than family… What are we Chanyeol? What are we.

I take my hands and try to release his folded arms. He keeps looking outside and resisting my attempts.

“Ahh, oppaaa. Waeee.” I repeat, shaking him.

I can’t see his face fully, but I can tell he’s grinning. Seriously. What more do I have to do? Ah, I have an idea.

I let go of his arm and sit still. He finally loosens up and shifts his position to sit forward. He still was folding his arms tight, but not as tight as when I nagged him.

Here goes nothing.

I lean in and kiss his cheek quickly, then scooch away from him. He doesn’t move for a second. Did I make him blush to death?

Suddenly, I feel a hand swoop under me and a hand supporting my back. He moves me back to where I was originally sitting… only this time, he put me closer to him.

“I have to ask you something.” Chanyeol says in a serious tone.

I hesitate, but he doesn’t wait for an answer.

“Eunsoo-ah.” He starts. “I know it’s not the right time to ask you this… with everything going on. But I just have to…”I blink. Where is he going with this?

“What are we?” He says making eye contact with me. “We… broke up because of your pregnancy with Luhan. But, you had a miscarriage -unfortunately- and Luhan doesn’t even want to see you right now… I mean that he’s afraid to see you right now. And I shouldn’t be asking this because of (hesitates) Kyungsoo. And I know it sounds selfish of me to ask but… what does that make us?”

He’s rambling. That must mean he’s nervous. He stares at me waiting impatiently for an answer. Gee, um, I don’t know how to exactly phrase this. Why is he putting me on the spot.

I sigh.

“All I know is that everything and everyone at this moment is okay. Luhan has made his statement clear already… since I haven’t seen him since the day Kyungsoo died. You’ve made your statement today… putting everything aside just for me. And I must move on and not over do myself with mourning for Kyungsoo’s death… Seungsoo’s been helping me with that.”

I pause. I hope this comes out right.

“And I guess it’s my turn to make my statement.” I say softly.

I pretzel my legs and sit sideways to face the door on Chanyeol’s side. The car at this moment wasn’t even moving. Chanyeol follows my actions and we ended up sitting in a pretzel, facing each other. I take his hand and interlock it with mine. Fingers messed together. I can feel my body tense and the air is getting hotter. It was completely silent, but I could hear my heartbeat. It was so fast and loud that I thought Chanyeol could hear it.

I gaze at his eyes. His beautiful eyes. His eyes sparkled even when there was no light. The galaxy in his eyes. The Han River. Phone store. Same classroom in High School. Kissing. Chanyeol’s Eomma. Skinship. Share a room in the dorm. Dated… Broke up.

I don’t want to lose him like I did with Kyungsoo. Even though I know Kyungsoo’s in my heart. I want to push my limits and risk it all. I know I’ll regret it if I don’t.

“Chanyeol.” I say. “There aren’t enough words for me to explain how much I want you back… so I’m going to cut it down to five.”Chanyeol’s eyes are watery. And I can feel my tears already falling.

“I miss you.” I smile cry [A/N: crying and smiling at the same time. Is there a word for that? lol]. “My galaxy.”

With that, Chanyeol pulls me to sit in a pretzel on his lap (he’s still sitting in a pretzel too. Lol. pretzel.)

He wraps his arms around my waist tight and I do the same, but to his shoulders. My heart rate went from a 120 bpm to a 180 bpm. The car is hot. Nevermind, our bodies are hot. I rest my head on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

This is the first time… since we broke up. The first time our skinship had actual meaning to it. He is so huggable. I lift my head, brushing my cheek against his as I do. My arms don’t leave his neck. He meshes his fingers together on my lower back and pulls me closer. Our noses are touching. I look down at his lips.

“You have no idea…” He whispers, his breath is hot and smells like peppermint. “…how much I’ve been urging to kiss you since the day we broke up.”

My heart beats faster as he says that. And I can feel his warm lips press up against mine. As our kiss becomes intense, I let out all of my emotions out. All of my anger, hate and hunger was placed into this kiss. A kiss that I’ve been somewhat urging for.

I pull away from the kiss, knowing that he wants more. So, I tease him and peck his lips lightly and he smiles. I pull back a bit, so our bodies weren’t as pressed up against each other.

I take my hands and run them through his hair, playing with it. Chanyeol receives a wave a goosebumps and chills run through his body as I do. And I could feel it being passed onto my body as his eyes don’t leave mine.

“You dyed your hair again.” I smile as I continue to fiddle with his hair. “You look cute.”

“Yeesh.” He pouts. “I’m supposed to be handsome, not cute. That’s Minseok hyung.”

[A/N: TK that was for you ;)]

“Arraseo, arraseo.” I smile wider.

I move my hands down to his shoulders and squeeze it. He lifts his right arm and flexes. Psh, he’s showing off to me.

“Look how strong I am.” Chanyeol says proudly.

“Ani.” You wink. “That’s Minseok hyung.”

Ahahahahaha I used his own words against him. His expression saddens and he shrugs.

“I guess.” Chanyeol says with a low voice.

Is he purposely acting this way? He frowns. Aish, why is he acting like this?

I take my pointer fingers and put them on the corner of his sadden lips. He blinks. I stick my tongue to the corner of my lip and I raise his and force him to smile.

He laughs and I let go.

“Aigoo, I can’t stay mad at you.” Chanyeol pulls you in for a hug.

This time, I let him hug me. His arms are over mine and wrapped around my shoulders. I lightly wrap my arms around his waist. I rest my head on the middle of his chest. He rests his head on mine.

I’m glad I made up with Chanyeol. He’s filling in the happiness I’ve lost. After all the anger, hate and madness, I’ve finally obtained some happiness from him. Being with him. [A/N: The answer or whatever to the story description before you click on the literal story link.] Being with Chanyeol.

For the rest of the ride, we stay like this. In each other’s embrace. In love. We didn’t even notice that we waited in traffic for two hours. Time went by so fast.

We arrive home. Home meaning the mansion, large field home. There it was. The mansion your parents stay in. The house Kyungsoo and I stayed in… and another large mansion across from it. I guess father built another mansion for all of us to house in. Aigoo. What a waste of money.

The car stops and a driver immediately comes to open the door. Chanyeol puts his jacket around me as I hold my own. Brrrr it’s cold out. Chanyeol’s such a gentleman. The sun is setting, but it’s not dark. I hope we get to go somewhere today. I haven’t been out of the hospital for weeks.

The doors to the new mansion open before we even reached the top step. As we walk into the mansion, someone shows up and grabs my hand.

“C’mon, Yeowang, let’s join everyone to eat. Celebration for your return.” Sehun smiles, basically dragging me into the dining room.

Chanyeol’s jacket falls and I turn back. Chanyeol bends down to pick it up and Jongin jumps on top of him. He ends up giving Jongin a piggy-back ride. I smile. Jongin’s doing better than before.

The smell of delicious Chinese food intoxicates my nose. Hmmmm I’m so hungry.

“WELCOME HOME!” They all scream at me.

I smile. Aish these boys really know how to make a girl blush and feel better.

Before I can say anything, Luhan brings me to sit next to him. I look at Chanyeol and shrug. He sighs and comes to sit next to me. Gosh. Worst situation to be in at the moment.

Tao and Kris come into the dining room.

“Sorry we’re late, we forgot about the time upstairs.” Tao smiles. “Welcome home.”

I blink. Are they really… here?

I stand up and run into Tao’s arms, even though it was painful, it’s been forever since I’ve seen them. I hug him so tight.

“Mianhe.” Tao whispers. “About everything.”

“It’s not your fault.” I reply. “I know what you both had to go through with SM.”

After embracing Tao, I move to Kris. Damn he grew taller.

“We’re having chicken tonight, you up for it?” I joke.

He laughs.

“Chicken is not my style.” Kris plays along.

Everyone laughs. I end up hugging everyone because they’re lined up for it. I miss them too… but I’ve seen them throughout my recovery time.

I sit back down, even more delighted than before. The whole crew is back… well, almost. If only, if only.

We begin to eat. I can feel their eyes watching me. I look up as I slurp mah noodles.

“What is it?” I say mouth full.

Apparently to their eyes, I looked “cute.”

“Ahye gwiyeo [How cute.]” Luhan says pinching my panda cheeks.

I crunch my nose and could tell how Chanyeol was uncomfortable, so I move Luhan’s hands away.

“Yah, just eat!” I tell them all.

They all smirk and continue to eat. Ouuu, there’s my favorite pork dumplings! But… it’s all the way on the other side of the table. Sheez. I stand up and reach with my chopsticks for the pork dumplings that were calling out to me.

Almost there…

Chanyeol gets up and does the same. His arms are longer though and manages to get them. I sit back down with him following. Curse him and his long arms. Tch. I’m envious. I thought he was getting it for himself, but he holds his chopsticks out for me. I smile and open my mouth.

He moves it closer to my mouth and I lean in to eat the pork dumpling. But this cheeky boy had to tease me and end up eating it. Aish. He laughs as he chews the dumpling and shrugs. What, is he pissed about earlier?

Luhan taps my shoulder. I assume he was watching Chanyeol and I fool around. He holds out the same pork dumpling for me.

“Cha~ You can have mine.” Luhan smiles.

I blink, then smile and eat his pork dumpling.

“Ouuuu Chanyeol and Luhan back at it again?” Baekhyun teases. “Eunsoo-ah, me too, here take my pork dumpling, ahhhhh~”

I literally take a Baekhyun’s pork dumpling from his chopsticks, leaning over the table because he was sitting across from me. I smile and chew, looking at Chanyeol, who is somewhat guilty.

I laugh and pick something from my plate. Chanyeol opens his mouth and I feed him.

“Well, it’s definitely certain Eunsoo has recovered.” Chen winks. “You two dating again?”

Luhan stops eating and slowly looks up at me. There was still food in his mouth. Everyone stops their conversations and wait for my answer. Chen drinks his water with an elbow on the table.

------

Your POV

You make the “I’m going to kill you” face at Chen and twitch your lips up, raising your eyebrows as you do. Chen laughs to himself. He’s sitting next to Luhan.

“I-” Chen starts.

You shove some rice and meat into his mouth.

“Just shut up and eat.” You say. “I want to go to the Namsan Tower.”

“Ouuuu nado, nado!” Lay smiles. “We haven’t been there since 2013.”

“Maja.” Kris swallows his food. “I want to go and see if my locks still there.”

You all look at him and laugh.

“Yah, there are probably millions of locks over it right now, I doubt you’ll be able to find it.” Suho says.

“Are you sure it’ll be your style?” Chanyeol comments.

Luhan spits out his food and starts laughing more than needed. Dork. Everyone laughs at Kris’ comment, but more like Luhan’s reaction.

“I’ll make the reservations and rent the tower until midnight.” Butler Lee smiles at you and you nod in response.

“Ahsaaa~!” Sehuns stands up. “We going to Namsan Tower. We’re going to Namsan tower.” He starts repeating that does a weird dance.

“Yah, sit down dongsaeng.” Xiumin says. “Sheeshes, if we were going to Namsan Tower, we should’ve just ate there.”

“Hyung, it’s okay.” Jongin smiles. “As long as we make our wishes and lockets again.”

------

Namsan Tower [If you don’t know what this is, I suggest you look it up. Gorgeous. Jinja]
7pm

“WHAAAA!” Sehun jumps, holding your hands, making him jump with you. “Eunsoo-ah, we’re here!”

You roll your eyes and smile. You look at the locks all aligned on the wall. It was beautiful at night.

“Guys I think I found it.” Kris observes a locket in his hand and read it. “EXO’s Baekhyun and I. Together forever. December 25, 2015. (blinks)... nope nevermind that’s not it.”

You all let out a wave of laughter. It’s good to have Kris back.

Kai takes your hand and leads you to a corner. Chanyeol not far away. You blink at Kai and smile at him. He grins and puts something in your hand. You look down and observe the rusty lock Kai just handed you.

You look up at him confused, waiting for an explanation.

“I went into Kyungsoo’s room… and found his old lock from high school.” Kai admits. “I hope your not mad that I did.”

You smile and hug Kai. He rests his head on your shoulder as you go up on your tippy toes.

“Sheeshes.” Kai says, trying his hardest not to hold back his tears. “Your the same height as him, you look like him, why do I have the urge to take you and claim you as mine again?”

You pat and rub his back.

“C’mon, let’s put the lock on the wall.” You say, letting go of him.

Chanyeol sighs and finds Luhan doing the same next to him.

“Kai’s failing our task.” Luhan shakes his head.

“You can’t blame him.” Chanyeol replies. “We all knew it was going to be the hardest for him to endure.”

“In loving memory of Do Kyungsoo. Love, Eunsoo and Jongin. March 12, 2016”

“There.” You say satisfied. “Written just right on the lock.”

Kai smiles. “Where should we click it?”

You look around and read the other locks on the wall. There was a huge section where it was just about Kyungsoo, made by fans.

“We love you Kyungsoo oppa.”
“I know you will be watching us from above!”
“Do Kyungsoo x Do Eunsoo. Forever.”
“EXO SARANGHAJA! D.O Forever missed.”

You smile at the comments and writings of the fans.

“Let’s put it here.” You notion Kai to close the lock with you.

Kai puts the key in his pocket.

“Yah.” You hit him lightly. “You’re suppose to put it in that metal box thingy.”

“Shhh.” Kai smirks. “There will be a time where I’ll want to find it and keep it for myself. When I’m older.”

“When we’re older.” You correct him and he smiles.

“Eo.” He replies.

You notice a familiar lock and go close to it. It was under tons of locks, but for some reason, you managed to recognize it. It had many locks connected to it.

“Yah, KRIS! I found it!” You smile and Kris darts for you.

“Really?!” He says in Chinese.

He checks it out. The sharpie on the lock was almost gone. He takes a sharpie and renews the writing, only changing the date to 2016 instead of 2013. You smile at him and leave him be.

You and Chanyeol write a lock together. Luhan watches.

I guess Chanyeol was bold and taken my chance of being with Eunsoo away. Was the baby the only reason why she agreed to be with me? Doesn’t she love me? Luhan thinks.

For the rest of the night, all the boys brought to you was laughter and joy. But something was off about them… it was like they never met or knew Kyungsoo. He wasn’t mentioned or anything besides Kai and the lock. You ask about Kyungsoo and how they were feeling because of it, but they just shrugged and say, “It hasn’t really hit us yet,” or something like that.

What was going on? Is he… alive? Did they forget about him already?

Notes

"Mama, can you please tell me why people change?" ~Luhan | Exo's Mama

So, this chapter? Anyone else shipping Chaney really hard? But why is everyone so skeptical? Whats the story behind EXO's behaviour? Why is President Lee finally showing you and the boys sympathy now? To be continued....

VOTE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE

See you in the next chapter-

~Alexis Thao
~Kyungsoo's Wifey

P.S. Sending lots of love to all of you out there reading this. I love you guys so much and thank you for reading until now and onwards. SARANGHAEEEEEEE~