1-3-4

The wind blew outside, shaking the old house. The smell of freshly brewed coffee drifted through the rooms, giving the house a cozy and snuggly environment. The dull sounds of the TV in the background were muffled by the pouring rain outside. Sehun snuggled up to Luhan, tired from a lonely day at work in the store. He inhaled Luhan’s scent of roasted coffee, eyes threatening to close. As Sehun drifted off into a peaceful sleep with the rain beating steadily onto the house, Luhan closed his arm around Sehun, relaxed. Before Sehun woke up, Luhan walked to the kitchen to make some coffee. As he made the drip coffee the exact way Sehun like it, a tear dropped into the cup. Luhan’s hand shook as he wiped his eye, squatting on the kitchen floor to calm down. “Luhannie?” Sehun’s innocent voice rang out. “Ah Sehun! You’re awake. Hyung made you some coffee the exact way you love it.” Sehun hesitantly took the cup. “Luhan, why were you crying? What’s the problem?” Luhan smiled, his eyes bitter with tears. “It’s nothing! Drink up!” Sehun’s face softened. “Hyung, 1-4-3.” Luhan’s heart hurt even more. “It’s fine, Sehun, it’s fine. Hyung needs some sleep, okay? See you in the morning.” Luhan climbed up the stairs, head aching, leaving a confused Sehun standing there with a full cup of coffee. Luhan slowly pulled off his sweater, shivering from the cold, and lay beneath his blankets, his face pressed into his pillow. He tried to stop the memories from coming, but they flowed into the room, squeezing him into the small little space he was occupying.

-flashback-
Those were still the happy days. “Sehun! Wait up!” Luhan sprinted after Sehun, running out of breath. “Come on hyung, we’re going to be late!” Luhan and Sehun ran towards Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s house in the sunny daylight. They ran up the stairs, stopping at the porch to catch their breath. Sehun pressed the doorbell, smiling at Luhan. Baekhun opened the door, holding one of his and Chanyeol’s twins. “Welcome! It’s so great to see you two!” Sehun smiled. “Aww, your baby is soooo cute! Can I hold him?” Baekhyun laughed. “Sure, go ahead! But Chanyeol bought him bubble tea after work…” Luhan smiled as Sehun quickly sprinted down the hall to his bubble tea. The late night party was a long one, lasting until 2 a.m. Luhan and Sehun slowly walked home, savoring the moments. Luhan suddenly stopped, facing Sehun. “Sehun?” he whispered. “I love you.” Sehun stared at Luhan, then walked forward a few steps before stopping again. Luhan’s heart sank, staring at Sehun’s perfect figure. Sehun’s voice cracked when he spoke. “I-I don’t know, hyung. I don’t think I’m ready.” Luhan stood there, dumbfounded. “What do you mean, Hun?” Sehun swallowed nervously. “I don’t know,” he said again. “Hyung, I think I’ll just say 1-4-3, okay? I is 1 letter, love is 4 letters, and you is 3 letters.” Luhan forced a smile. “Ok, Hunnie. If that’s what is comfortable.” Luhan and Sehun walked off, Sehun talkative and happy again, but Luhan’s steps were heavy.
-end flashback-
“Luhan!! Its morning!!” Luhan turned around, his face inches from Sehun’s face. “Sehun! I told you to not wake me up like that!” Sehun smiled and pushed himself up, slipping on his clothes and walking into the bathroom to wash his face. Luhan lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. A few minutes later, Luhan got up silently too, drowsily walking downstairs to make breakfast. In the middle of scrambling eggs, he couldn’t take it. The pain was scratching at his heart, trying to make a way out. He slammed the pan and spatula into the sink, running to the cabinet before Sehun came downstairs. Luhan took out a note that he wrote a year ago and attached it to the cabinet before finding a bottle of medicine, and quickly pouring it all down his throat. “Luhan!” came Sehun’s sweet voice. Finding no reply, Sehun raced down the stairs, heart beating. “Luhan?” he looked behind the couch in case Luhan was just hiding there, going to pop out at any moment to scare Sehun. “LUHAN!” Sehun’s voice was urgent, and he ran into the kitchen, his heart freezing. “Luhan?” he cried meekly as he saw Luhan’s feeble body strung across the tiled floor, his beautiful eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. “No, no, no,” Sehun cried, “Stay with me…” He bolted to the cabinet, his eyes darting to the strewn mess inside and the empty medicine bottle with its cap flung onto the floor. He saw a note and quickly tore it down, settling on a chair to read it, tears streaming down his face.

Dear, Sehun,
It was love at first sight. Your beautiful hair and eyes and nose and lips; I could not resist them. The first time you smiled, I wanted to reach out and let you be mine. The way your eyes turn into crescents is something I wish for every day. To make you happy. We’ve known each other for so long now, and each moment is like walking in a moonlit path. We’ve laughed together and cried together. We’ve brought each other through so many obstacles but you’ve led me through all of them. I am not sure what to say to you, Sehun, but—
I love you.
I know there will not be a day where you can say “I love you” to me back,
But I hope there will.
Because I really love you.
Luhan
Sehun folded the letter carefully along the creases, using his finger to skim over the places that Luhan touched. His tears were everywhere, but he didn’t bother to wipe them. He turned around staring at Luhan’s body.
“Luhan,”
“I love you.”

Notes

Thanks for reading! Leave a comment below if you would like to see a sequel :)