It just isn’t possible. He has a temper and he does stupid things before he thinks but he wouldn’t kill anyone. Not Park Kyung. Would he?
My mind was racing. I went into the bedroom and numbly crawled to the middle of the big bed and lay down. I tried to think logically. I thought of the fact that Kyung brought me here and not only locked me up but actually chained me to the bed. I thought of getting sick with no real explanation. I cringed when I remembered the tantrums and the first time that we had slept together. It had actually been rape when you really thought about it. I excused it because Kyung had been drunk but it was what it was. I thought of the three engagement rings which made me think of the swirl marks on the floor that my chain made when I walked around. If I remember correctly, I noticed those marks the first night Kyung brought me here and long before he put this chain on me. Had someone else been chained to this bed?
I felt like I was going crazy. Was I making all of this up in my head because I was becoming afraid of Kyung?
I closed my eyes but bad memories of scary Kyung kept coming to me so I reached for the remote and turned on the tv. I would watch a lot of dumb shows to keep my mind off of everything. It worked. I even laughed at some of the comedy sketches.
I didn’t realize how long I had just laid there watching tv but when I heard the little click of the lock, I froze. He came in as usual and put down the tray. This time however, he turned and just stood there looking at me.
“What?” I asked.
He didn’t answer me. He began looking me up and down and the look on his face seemed to be anger and disgust. Then without warning, he turned and left. He is so strange.
I looked at the food and decided there was no way I was touching any of it. How can you tell when something has been poisoned?
I went back to watching tv but my eyes kept going back to the tray. It felt like a loaded weapon aimed at me and I silently wished it away.
The news came on so I decided to watch and find out what was going on beyond my little prison cell. What I had really hoped for was a story about the missing American girls and I wasn’t disappointed. My heart sank though when the newscaster said that apparently the lead given before turned out to be false. The famous person that the informant had seen was Seungri from Big Bang and he was on a date with an English girl. The police were back to square one. Also, the rescue effort of the last victim had been downgraded to a recovery effort. Even though a body hadn’t been found, she was thought to be dead. The same picture of me smiling at my sister flashed on the screen and I felt a tear slide from the corner of my eye to make a slow trail down my face. So that’s it then. I’m completely on my own.

The next few days went by in a blur. I was becoming more and more depressed and I could feel myself giving up hope. I didn’t eat. I didn’t dare. I was going to eat and be poisoned or I was going to starve to death. Either way the outcome was the same. My stomach was too sour to eat in any case. I didn’t know when the nausea changed from eating what I was afraid was tainted food to not eating and suffering an empty rumbling tummy. I drank water from the bathroom sink to staunch the hunger pangs but honestly I think it made it worse.
Kyung came and went and I usually didn’t notice. I didn’t care. All I did was lay in the bed. I was weak so I slept a lot. I think he actually spoke to me one night to tell me to eat something but it could have been a dream. I didn’t even notice when he stopped coming. I think it had been at least a week when I realized he hadn’t brought any food. What’s the difference? I’m going to starve to death anyway.

I woke up one morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I think I was all slept out. Getting out of bed for the first time in a long time, I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I looked awful. I was getting thin and my cheeks were sinking in. My hair was dry and crazy so I wet a brush and ran it through the mess to calm it down. It needed to be washed desperately so I got into the shower. I actually felt some better when I got out, dried off, and put on a fresh t-shirt. I rubbed rose scented lotion all over my dry skin and enjoyed the scent. It was so much better than the smelly mess I had become over the last couple of weeks. Wondering where Kyung was, I put my ear to the door but I heard nothing. Maybe he just left me for dead.
I turned on the tv and tried to ignore my aching stomach as I watched a drama for a while. I had no idea what was going on so I decided to play a video game. This was my sad life now. My only friend was Harvey and I kept getting him killed. No doubt he would eventually leave me too. I realized I was basically waiting to die. Then Kyung would dispose of my body and the police would finally be able to recover me and close that part of the case.

I had tried to air out the sheets and comforter the best I could. I would really like to have some clean ones but this would have to do. I turned out the lights, turned off the tv and just lay there listening to the silence. The blue light coming in the window gave everything an eerie glow but tonight I found comfort in its presence. I realized I was lonely. That was probably the worst part.
As I lay there, the silence became a high pitched ring in my ears. Then I heard an actual noise. If it hadn’t been so quiet, I never would have noticed but there was someone walking around in the living room. It had to be Kyung but what if it wasn’t. What if it was Zico again? Do I call out? I kept quiet.
All of a sudden, there was a loud noise and the blue light disappeared. It was now as dark as it was silent. It was the type of darkness that you could feel touching you. Then I heard the familiar click of the little gold key in the lock and I became terrified. The door swung open but I couldn’t see it or anything. Kyung had cut the power to the apartment and the other rooms seemed to be as dark and silent as this one. I could hear him moving toward me and my first instinct was to move away and hide. I didn’t. I didn’t move a muscle. He stopped when he reached the bed and began feeling around. I could feel his hand moving the blanket and hear the swish of silk on silk. I could also hear his breathing which was slow and deep and steady.
His hand found my leg and I froze. I felt him slowly move his hand down my leg and locate the cuff on my ankle. He moved it around until I felt it release and move away from me. He had taken off the chain. Why? Has he decided to finally just kill me and get rid of my body?
My face got hot and adrenaline flooded through me as I found energy I didn’t know I still had. I could hear him walking around and then I almost jumped out of my skin when a loud cracking sound came from across the room. It sounded like the cracking of a whip.
“We’re going to play hide and seek my little kitten,” he said in a voice I had never heard come from him before. He sounded too calm and very scary.
“What?” is all I could squeak out.
“I’m going to count to fifty. You better hide yourself well. You aren’t going to like it when I find you.”
I wasn’t sure this even was Kyung. He didn’t sound at all like himself and I didn’t understand what he was doing. He began to walk around and I could hear his boots move into the next room. He began counting slowly, “One… Two… Three…”
I panicked. What do I do? Where can I hide? It’s a small apartment with no where to go.
I knew I just had to keep away from him. I had to be as quiet as possible. I could hear his boots so I knew where he was and if he came close I would move away. I felt like it was the only way I was going to survive the night.
I heard another loud crack and something in the other room went flying. I jumped and screamed and I heard Kyung in the next room laugh a scary, low laugh. I hate Park Kyung!
Thinking quickly, I felt for the dresser and located a pair of boxer shorts. I felt too vulnerable with only a thin t-shirt on.
I crept as quietly as possible into the living room. I had decided to hide under the kitchen table and hopefully he wouldn’t think I would hide somewhere so obvious. I couldn’t see anything but I knew where the table was so getting down on all fours, I felt my way into the kitchen.
“Fifteen… sixteen…seventeen…”
I crawled under the table and tried to quiet my breathing. Kyung made the loud cracking noise again. I didn’t anticipate it and so I made a squealy noise.
“Ah…ah… I hear a squeaky kitten in the kitchen.” His tone was taunting. He was playing with me and loving every minute of it.
He came toward me and when he got to the table, he bent down in front of me. I couldn’t see him but I could hear his breath and it was very close to my face.
He whispered, “Thirty more little kitten.”
A moan escaped me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid.
I shoved the chairs backwards and one fell over. He continued to count and all I could think of was to get as far from him as possible. I crawled in the opposite direction of his foot steps and came into contact with the wall. Actually, it was the front door. I tried the knob but of course it was locked.
“You really do think I’m a fool don’t you? If I left the door unlocked, my plaything might escape. I can’t let that happen.” He could hear every little move I made.
“I had to try,” I said.
He laughed. Then, “Twenty-six… Twenty-seven…”
I thought for a second and decided to try to hide in the corner of the living room beside the chair. As I crawled in that direction, I found something on the floor that I couldn’t identify by touch. I came up with a plan. I would throw it into the bedroom and distract Kyung while I hid and then I would be completely silent and he would lose track of me. When I reached the back of the couch, I threw the object in the direction of the bedroom. I’m pretty sure I made it in the door. Kyung’s counting ceased as he listened and I heard his foot steps move toward the bedroom. As quietly as possible, I crawled over the top of the couch and into the corner. I crouched down and made myself small.
“Is my kitten trying to hide in her cage? Tsk…tsk…tsk…silly kitten.”
His voice was muffled somewhat as he entered the bedroom and I could hear him checking for me there. Good! Stay in there!
He didn’t. He figured it out quickly and came back into the living room.
“When I catch you kitten, I’m gonna make you purr! Thirty-three… Thirty-four…”
Why? Why me? Why was he being this way? How long had he been planning this torture?
I put my head against the wall and squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel the tears just behind my eyelids waiting for the signal to start flowing. I couldn’t. I didn’t dare let myself do anything that might make me make noise.
CRACK!!!
I was ready this time. I didn’t make a single sound. I had no doubt now that the sound he was making was coming from a whip.
What was he planning? What on earth was he going to do to me? Would I still be alive when he finished? Was that his plan? Was this all a game that was going to end in my death? How many times had he played this game and how many women had endured this torture? Where did they hide?
My mouth began to tremble as I held back the emotions I was feeling. Terror was screaming in my head. It would almost be a relief to jump up and say Here I am! Come and do your worst! I fought that urge because I didn’t know what his worst could be.
He was very close to me when he said, “Forty-eight… Forty-nine… aaaaaaaand FIFTY!” He cracked the whip and I flinched.
“Now my kitten, it’s time for the game to begin. For your sake, I hope you have a good hiding place. Let’s make it more interesting.”
I could tell he was removing his boots. Now I wouldn’t know where he was. My heart was beating out of my chest and I was afraid he could hear it. He was walking around dragging something and I knew it was the whip. It sounded slithery.
Kyung began singing a song in Korean that sounded like the Ready or Not song kids sing in English during hide and seek. This was worse than a nightmare.
Everything became silent. It seemed like time had stopped. I tried to see movement in the darkness now that my eyes had had time to adjust but I couldn’t see anything. At first. Then I thought I saw something move right in front of my face. I strained to see and that is when I felt it. Kyung’s breath touched my face a second before he whispered, “Hello kitten.” His hands closed in on the sides of my head and I screamed. I screamed and screamed.

Kyung dragged me out of the corner and clamped his hand over my screaming mouth. I didn’t stop.
“Shhhhh kitten. Shhhhhh.”
He held me tighter and tighter from behind until I stopped screaming and just began to cry.
“Please Kyung. Please. Forgive me for whatever I did. Please don’t hurt me,” I begged.
“Has kitty been bad? If you play nice and do what you’re told, I might not bite so hard when we play.”
He is utterly insane.
Kyung began to lead me toward the bedroom and I resisted. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me but I knew I could not go back into that bedroom.
“Now see. What did I say?” He began to wrap something around my neck. I thought it was a rope but then I realized it was the whip. He tugged and I had no choice but to follow. It was that or choke. All the way to the bedroom I begged for my life. I was ignored.
“Okay,” Kyung said as he shut and locked the door. “It’s time to de-claw kitty.”
What did he mean?
I heard rattling and I thought he was going to put the chain back onto my leg. I was wrong. He pulled on the whip and brought me to the end of the bed. With surprising gentleness, he took my hand and raised my arm up as his finger tickled it’s way down the inside of my arm. I cringed. Then he reached up and handcuffed me to the bedpost. Grabbing my hand, he slipped something onto my finger and without being able to see it or feel it, I knew it was my engagement ring. He proceeded to cuff my right wrist to the other bedpost. I was completely open and helpless.
“Oops. Did Daddy forget to undress his kitty?”
I whimpered.
Kyung began to tug on the bottom of my t-shirt and I felt it begin to rip. He was using a knife to cut the shirt from my body. I knew that because when he was done and I was completely naked on top, he reached around as if to hug me and put the cold metal against the skin between my breasts. He rolled the knife back and forth onto its edge and I knew with any amount of pressure, he would cut me. He wanted me to know that. His breathing was fast and blew my hair across my neck tickling me. He was getting very excited by torturing me. The more afraid I was, the more turned on he got.
“Please don’t hurt me Kyung. Please? I’ll do anything you want. Please….” I was crying really hard.
“Don’t worry. Daddy always takes good care of his toys. You do have a spanking coming though.”
With a sudden jerking movement, he pulled down the boxers I was wearing and let them drop to the floor.
“Step out.”
I picked up my feet one by one and he moved the shorts away from me. I was completely naked now and basically hanging from the bed by my hands. Kyung began running his hands all over my body. They were very cold and I shivered. I felt sad when I remembered how loving and warm those hands had felt not so long ago. Now they felt mean and punishing.
He slowly unwound the whip from my neck.
“Now, before we can play, you have to be punished.”
“Please Kyung. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“You foreign girls have to realize you can’t just come over here and play with Korean men like little boy toys and then run back home to marry your big American men. We aren’t cute objects with no feelings put here for your entertainment.” He began making noise behind me and when I heard him strike a match I became terrified. He was only lighting a candle which made a soft glow flicker around the room. Instead of being comforting, it just made me feel more exposed and naked. I preferred the covering darkness. He rubbed something leathery down my spine that I guessed was the whip. When he reached the base of my spine, he kept going over my backside and pressed the hard leather between my legs. “Kitten! You’ve become so thin. I can see your ribs.”
I didn’t speak. Whenever I opened my mouth all that came out was a cry.
Kyung moved the whip slowly down my right leg and up my left one tickling as it swung against me. Then he moved to the other side of the room. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. He looked different. His hair was now very blond and his face looked thinner and strained.
CRACK!
I flinched as he cracked the whip in the air and I began to cry out-loud again. I knew begging wasn’t going to do any good so I didn’t bother. My fate was sealed. I needed to make peace with the fact that I was probably going to die tonight. I began to say little prayers to myself.
“One of these days Priscilla you will learn your lesson. One of these days I won’t have to teach you to appreciate what you have. I won’t have to teach you to appreciate me!”
Priscilla? Who’s Priscilla?
The first time the whip struck my back I was surprised into silence. It stung but it was such a quick sting that the real pain didn’t start until the whip was gone from my body. It had wrapped half way around me to end in the middle of my stomach. I think at the end of the whip was a marble or jewel of some kind because it left small round bruises wherever it hit.
The next strike hurt more. The end hit me in the middle of my back. Every strike after that was a scar that I would never get over. Kyung hit me over and over and I began to feel a stickiness running down my back. I knew it was blood. Stripes covered me from head to toe. Nothing was safe. My arms, legs and even my face received a blow which left blood running down my cheek. I don’t know how long it lasted but I finally couldn’t take anymore and I lost strength, hanging by my wrists.
I didn’t even brace for the next strike but it didn’t matter. It never came. Kyung came up behind me and put a hand in my hair, pulling my head back.
“Have you learned your lesson kitten?”
“Yes sir.” It came out in a whisper. And it was true. I would never cross Park Kyung again.
“That’s a good girl. Now we can play.”
Kyung released the cuffs around my wrists and I fell to the floor. He stood there looking down at me for a moment before picking me up and laying me on the bed.
I couldn’t say that I was in pain. Not yet. My body felt numb. I could move but I didn’t want to so I just lay there and watched as Kyung removed his clothes. He slowly moved up the bed, hovering over me, his face inches from mine. He was sweating and the edges of his hair had become wet. I guessed it was hard work to punish your unruly kittens.
In the lowest, deepest voice I had ever heard him use, Kyung looked me in the eyes and said, “Never tell me no again. Ever. ”
“Yes sir,” I whispered even lower than before.
His hands slowly encircled my throat and I closed my eyes. I thought this was it. The end. It was okay because after all of this, I was almost ready to go. Just to escape. But, he didn’t kill me. He raised my neck up and kissed it. Gently. Then his mouth took mine and his tongue invaded my mouth. I didn’t return the kiss. I just lay there and let things happen to me. He didn’t seem to mind. His mouth moved to my breasts where he played for a while. I could feel myself becoming aroused but I didn’t know how. I was terrified of Kyung. His nearness to me petrified me and I was afraid to move a muscle.
He moved his hands over me and I could feel the stickiness of the blood getting smeared all over my body as he touched me everywhere. His fingers found their way inside me and he began to make low moaning sounds in his throat has he moved them in and out of me. His mouth found mine again and as he kissed me, he moved my legs apart and pushed himself inside. His movements were slow and deep and I could actually feel myself getting close to the edge. How is that possible? I’ve never wanted anyone or anything less. My body was betraying my thoughts.
All of a sudden, Kyung left my body completely and stared down at me in anger.
“Kitten doesn’t want to do her part? She doesn’t want to participate? Well, let’s see how we can change that.”
He got off the bed and grabbed my ankles, pulling me off and standing me up in front of him. He kissed me but I didn’t kiss back. I thought he was going to whip me again and I was frozen in fear.
“No kisses for Daddy? But Daddy is being so good to you. You need to show some appreciation. Get on your knees.”
I didn’t know if I had heard right. I stood there looking at Kyung in stunned silence until he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me roughly to the ground.
“I said Get. On. Your. Knees!”
Tears began to flow silently down my face as I became aware of what he was going to make me do. How much humiliation can one person endure? How much pain?
“Good girl. Now, I think you know what you have to do. And kitty better not bite or she’ll get another spanking.” Kyung put his hands into my hair and roughly pulled my head up. I cried.
“Please don’t make me do this Kyung. Please? Please? I can’t. I’ll throw up. I can’t do it.” Again I begged for mercy.
“Be a good girl and open your mouth,” he said. Then, pulling my hair harder, he said, “DO IT!”
I did.
When it was done, I threw up.
That angered Kyung. He jerked me up by my hair and started yelling, “ARE YOU REJECTING ME? YOU CAN’T REJECT ME! YOU BELONG TO ME AND YOU DO WHAT I WANT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND???
He bent me over the bed and pushed my face into the soft blankets. The silk began to fill my mouth and I fought to turn my head sideways so that I could breath. The entire time he was yelling things that didn’t make sense. Some things were in Korean but the English wasn’t making sense either.
“I AM THE MASTER HERE PRISCILLA! YOU DO WHAT I SAY! I OWN YOU YOU, BITCH!” He continued on his tirade as he entered me from behind and proceeded to make me bleed on the inside as much as on the outside.
I started to scream again. It just came out. I don’t even know what I was saying.
He finished with a yell. That was when he heard what I was saying.
“I’m not Priscilla. Kyung I’m not Priscilla! I’m Elizabeth! I’m Elizabeth!”
He let go of me and jumped away from me as if I were a poisonous snake. His face no longer showed anger or rage or insanity. He looked horrified.
I crawled up onto the bed slowly and curled into a ball. I watched him through tears as he walked around looking at me and the room as if he’d never seen it before. He began to mutter things. I heard, “What have I done? What is going on? There is something wrong with me. What am I doing? What am I going to do now? Priscilla? Elizabeth? Oh God. Oh my God.”
He began to pull at his hair as he paced the room and muttered to himself. I think I was right before. I don’t think I was dealing with Kyung. I think this is Kyung. He reached up to touch the handcuffs and then to touch me but I flinched away from him and he began to cry. He looked me up and down and said “What have I done? I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Elizabeth. I’m so sorry.”
I couldn’t help myself. I whispered, “Why did you do this to me Kyung? I loved you.”

Notes