---

It's all my fault.

If I didn't agree to let them go with me to the show, Kris would've been here right now, cracking jokes and laughing with how sad our faces look.
It's all my fault.
I keep on repeating that all throughout the night, while waiting for the doctor to come out and tell us how Kris is going.
I never once stop crying. Neither do Sehun and Tao.

---

The next morning the doctor comes in with Kris's news.
I immediately get up from where I was sleeping on the hospital floor (barely) Tao on one side and Sehun on the other, and greet him.
"Hello doctor." I say hoarsely and weakly, because all the crying dried my throat. "Is Kris going to be alright?" I ask so scared for his answer, I think I'm the one who's gonna need a doctor soon.
Kris's head was pretty bashed last night.
When the ambulance medics saw his head and the condition he was in, they put him on a stretcher and in the ambulance so fast, I didn't even realized that he was gone.
That raised a lot of red flags...was he that seriously injured?
So injured, that they had to get him to the hospital fast before he...died?
I don't even wanna start thinking about that.
The doctor looks me in the eyes, and tells me, "I think you'd better sit down..." with a dissapointed look on his face.
Oh no...
No...
Kris...
"Mister Namja Chang, correct?" he asks solemnly.
I just nod...I don't think I wanna hear the next couple of words he's gonna say..no...
"Well, Mr Chang, I'm sorry to tell you this, but..." He takes a pause and takes off his glasses. He stays quiet for a couple more seconds, and then looks up to me...he has tears in his eyes.
No...KRIS!!! NO!!
I lean back onto Tao, who's sitting next to me, and hold his and Sehun's hand, who's sitting on the floor still, and we quietly start crying, knowing that Kris is...gone..
I quietly start to pray, choking on the words along the way.
You were great guy Kris. You didn't deserve to die like this...Rest In Peace.
Suddenly, all our crying and praying comes to a stop, when we hear laughter...laughter?! And it's right next to me.
I look and see the doctor cracking up and eventually...bursting out laughing.
He thinks it's funny..? My friend just died...and YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!!?
Enraged, I let go of Tao and Sehun, and turn to give the asshole of a doctor a punch right in his stupid, red, laughing face.

But, I'm stopped...by a pretty blonde who runs up next to me, grabbing my arm...



Kris.



Is this a dream?
I knew it.

I knew I passed out eventually.

This a stupid dream, and I'm probably lying in a hospital bed somewhere. But I have to get up soon and make arrangments for Kris's funeral..dear Kris...I know he's actually dead, and not standing next to me, and holding my arm...and laughing...and hugging the jumping Tao and Sehun...
How much imagination do I have...?
Wait...his hand feels so real. Soft and boney...and it hurt when he was pulled away by Tao and Sehun's hugging, resulting in him scratching it by the impact...
Kris..
He's alive...
He's...ALIVE!!!
Full of overwhelming, happiness, love, joy, hope, relief and whatever other happy words you can think of, I jump from my seat and wrap my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist and hug him as tight a possible...and I don't wanna let go...because I'm afraid I'll lose him again if I do...
He wraps his arms around me and hugs me equally as tight.
We probably stayed like that for a good 2 minutes (just like our first meeting), savouring each others warmth, and...heartbeat..it's so good to hear him breath again....unlike last night.
Kris eventually, lifts his head from where it had been resting on my shoulder, and, lifting my chin up with his fingers, he looks me in my teary eyes, and says, "Hey...don't cry. You'll ruin your beautiful eyes." and then he wipes the tears from my eyes with his thumbs.
I just turn red (duh) and nod while getting down from him and turning to the doctor, who started explaining what was Kris's problem to Tao and Sehun. When he sees us actually paying attention to him, he turns to us and beams, "Ah!! You've finished? Well then, I was just explaining to your friends here that Kris, just had a minor head injury, nothing serious, he just needed stitches, and now he's ready to go." he smiles at me.
Thank god...wait, stitches?
I look up and realize that the top part of Kris's head is bandaged up...oh..

I turn to the doctor with a puzzled expression and ask him why he didn't tell us from the start. He chuckles and answers, "Well, you see Kris here, asked me if I could just pretend that he died, so that he could have a little laugh and see if 'his friends really cared about him' and he was more than satisfied with your reactions..." He continues chuckling.
We all turn and glare at Kris. He just shrugs, and says " Surprise...!?"
I punch him playfully in the shoulder, while pouting my lips at him.
"We thought you were actually dead..how could you?! You nearly gave us a heart attack.." I whisper sadly to him. He just laughs and leans down to my ear and whispers playfully, "Don't you mean, 'you almost gave me a heart attack?'"
I just punch him harder in the shoulder and turn around to walk to his hospital room while shouting over my shoulder, "Shut up and come and help me get your stuff!!!"
I hope he doesn't see my face had turned a color exactly like my hair color.

---

When we get home all the other members get both shocked and unimaginably happy that Kris went to the hospital and came back the day later.
We informed the manager's of Kris's situation last night, and then he told the members.
I look around and see matresses, take out boxes, pillows and blankets. All the members looked extremely tired as well. Poor guys. They probably slept in the living room, in fear they might lose a phone call or update on Kris's condition from the manager. They must've been wrecked from the news and probably didn't sleep all night from worry.
Suho looks especially tired. Figures. He is the second leader, and so the poor guy must've been worried that if something happened to Kris he would be responsible for everyone later. Just him, all alone...poor Suho.
They all lept on him and hugged him and kissed him, and generally looked relieved and happy that nothing happened to their loving leader.
I joined in the happiness when my phone suddenly started beeping. But not because of a phone call or message, but because of a calendar event.
I opened it up and it read:
LAST DAY WITH EXO. TOMORROW. TIME: 8:00.
Oh yeah, I forgot that tomorrow was the day.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
No. I don't want to...
I don't even know what band I'm going to next...I made some really good friends here in EXO and, I don't wanna go and have to start all over again with a completely new band...what band is next again?
I leave everyone in the living room and run to my bedroom to check the 'Band Calendar' that the competition's agency send me on e-mail.
I rammage through my bag and find it. It says, EXO and then...em...VIXX, ah there it is. Wait, VIXX? I did a couple of VIXX songs in my dancing years. Those guys are pretty cool and their concepts and choreos are pretty creative too...I'm actually excited as well as nervous now.
My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a small knock on my door.
"Red? Are you alright in there?"
Kris.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Come on in." I call loud enough so he can hear my voice through the closed door.
He opens the door and strides right next to me, and with a smile asks, "What's up?" in English of course...how I'm gonna miss these English chats....
"Oh, nothing...I was just looking at the band I'm going to next...Kris?" I say carelessly, and then ask sadly. "Do you know that I'm...leaving tomorrow?" I say sadly while turning round just in time to see Kris's smile fade to a frown.
"What? You're...y-you're leaving...tommorrow?" he asks devastated.
I lightly nod.
Oh,Kris...just when you found a good friend, and now he's leaving you...and you're probably never going to see him again...
He silently starts to sob, hiding his face from me.
But, after a couple of sobs, he brings his head up, takes a deep breath, puts on the best smile possible, wipes away his tears, and then looks at me and says half happily, half sadly: "Well then...I better help you pack up. It's the least I can do to help..ok?"
I nod, and smile at him, while taking out my empty bags and suitcases and start to sort out which belongs to what clothes.

---

After we were finished packing and sorting everything, I got up and gave Kris a hug while thanking him, and then start to head for the door.
But I'm stopped by Kris's hand holding me back by my arm.
"Where are you going?" he asks suprised.
"Well...I need to tell the others I'm leaving too...right? I have to say bye to them." I say plainly and start to head back for the door, but for some reason, I wasn't getting any closer to the door from where I already was.
I look back and see Kris still holding me by the arm. He's looking at me with big puppy eyes. What does he want? Let me go already...
"Kris...I really need to-" I begin, but am once again cut off, by a smiling and...blushing (?) Kris. Blushing? Is that even possible for a guy who's so good at making other people blush? Me, mainly?
"Red....because you're leaving tomorrow...I'd like you to give me a moment to...express...myself, to you..." he nervously says. I can feel him trembling all the way to his fingertips. Oh no.
I think I know what's going on.
I gingerly nod, and sit on the bed with him following. Great. Now I'm trembling.
Kris looks at his hands that are in his lap, while he starts talking. I watch him,waiting to hear what he wants to say...but my heartbeat is making that a bit difficult right now.
"....Red...I know what I'm about to say is a bit sudden, but....here goes nothing." he releases a deep breath and looks at me with eyes full of something I never saw anyone look at me with before...
Love.


"Now, you can punch me or beat me or even spit on my hair when I say this but, .....I think, well actually I know...I'm..I-I'm in...




Love with you..."





He starts of with a bold strong voice, and finishes off with a tiny whisper. I'm not sure if I even heard correctly...did I?
He turns a color close to red roses when he sees the confusion written on my face, and then says, while standing up, "I-I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to blurt something like that out of the blue...sorry. I'll go now." He says with a sob and apologetic look and then heads for the door.
But he's stopped...by my arm...
"Wait," I tell him, sounding more strong and mature than I ever have in my entire life, "what you said wasn't stupid. And if that's what you feel for me...then I accept it. I kind of...maybe... feel the same too.. but I'm not sure..." I said, sounding like my old immature 17 year old self again.
I honestly don't know what I feel for him...Love? Friendship? I don't know...but I do feel something..I know that at least...
He is one of those people that I don't wanna lose contact with from this experience...he's my friend...and maybe more...
The second he hears my words, his eyes go wide, and he immediately goes from immensely scared and shy, to lustful and confident.
He pulls my hand off his arm, and grabs my arm, while pushing me onto the bed. He then straddles my hip, and puts both arms on each side of my head, and looks down at me, his eyes full of lust, love and...determination...for what?
I start to have a heart attack when I feel him on top of me, and I freeze in place with my arms grabbing onto his thighs, trying to push him off.
"What are you doing?!!!" I finally ask panicking, having enough of Kris's staring contest.
"Well," He starts off, his voice husky and deep and...well, sexy, "Since, you're not sure about your feelings...how about I help you figure them out?" He's looking at me like a wolf looks at it's prey...at this point I'm both terrified and....excited. I hope he doesn't do anything...too naughty..OH SHUT UP DIRTY PART OF MY BRAIN!!!
He leans in and tries to kiss me, but the Good part of my brain reacts (thankfully) and I flinch my head to the side, avoiding his face, which makes him kiss the pillow underneath my head instead of me.
"Kris..." I weakly say, breathing slow and heavy...I'm starting to feel a little too hot...please get off me...
"Shh..." he whispers while putting his finger to my lips. "I'm just gonna kiss you...just one kiss..please?" He asks with cute eyes, but a sexy smirk. "A kiss goodbye? Please? It's all I've been wanting to do...ever since you got here..." he adds now completely lustfully, while licking his lips slightly.
I gulp.

There's no way I'm getting out of this. Because 1. he's sitting on top of me, so there's no chance of me going anywhere because I don't wanna push him off and maybe injure his already injured head and 2. he's not gonna let me leave until he gets what he wants.
Kris is very stubborn. He never gives up. I learned that when he was begging me to come to the show, yesterday.
I turn to him and sternly tell him, "Ok...but just one. ONE." I try to make it as clear as possible. Just one...that's it.
God help me.
He brightens up and nods happily with a smile, and then licks his lips and slowly leans in...
Here it comes...
I feel something ever so soft ,lighlty brush my lips. Then I feel something even softer and warmer smash into my lips completely.
The kiss is soft and sweet...and not very long...


When he's done, I lay there a little shocked....shocked at how soft his lips were..how amazing the kiss was...and generally shocked at how nice of an experience it was..
I glance up, and see him looking at me lovingly...or rather my lips lovingly...
Oh.....crap...
He's gonna kiss me again, isn't he?
I instantly open my mouth to reject, but nothing comes out...because Kris has already covered it with his mouth...and it feels so damn good...
The second kiss is more lustful and needy.
I can feel his lips scraping and mashing with mine, mixing and moving in sync...perfectly. He then starts playing around inside my mouth, with his tongue.
Wait!? When did his tounge even get in here?
I can't think straight because I can feel it, rampaging my mouth, trying to feel and taste every bit of it.
It's getting harder to breath for me, on account that he hasn't let go of my mouth once.


He eventually separates, and I gasp for air, my face burning and my eyes watering...I notice that Kris is also slightly sweating...and he feels warm on top of me...
I'm cut from my daze and shock, when I feel his hands move gently up and down my rapidly breathing chest, relaxing me...until he decides to yank up my shirt...I feel his cold fingers for a second, on my the bottom part of my pale chest...
No!!!
No!!! That's going to far!!! I'm ok with a kiss, but with....sex?? At just 17?

OH, HELL NOOOO!!!

I immediately push him off me to the other side of the bed, and jump off of it myself.
I turn around and see him generally shocked and dissapointed. I feel kinda bad.
Sorry Kris, but I ain't going that far...
Yet...
I walk up to him apologetically and sit down on the bed and face him while saying, "Sorry Kris, but I was fine with a kiss, not....whatever you were planning to do...you do know I'm 17, right?"
He looks even more shocked now.
"What!!? 17??! B-But...I thought you were my age..." he says completely embarrassed now. "Oh my god!" he hides his face in his hands. " That means...that means I'm a pedophile!!!" He screams into his hands.
I just start laughing. Pedophile...ha! I'm 17, not 14 or something...ah, Kris...what am I gonna do with you?
I take his hands away from his face and turn his head to look at me.
"Don't worry, a lot of people mistake me for someone older....it's ok. Now, how about we go and tell everybody the news, huh?" I say with a sweet smile.
"Ok..." He nods, a still embarrassed look on his face.
But before we get up to walk away...he grabs me and whispers, his lust suddenly back, "But, can I give you something to remember me by?"
What, like a gift or something? Sure.
I nod carelessly.

And the next thing I feel is Kris's teeth and mouth sinking into the skin on my neck.

KRIS!!!
WHEN I SAID GIVE ME A PRESENT, I DIDN'T MEAN A MARK THAT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE THERE FOREVER!!!!

But, I'm sure gonna remember him...that's for sure...

Notes

Well, I hoped you liked Kris's little love confession there~ x3 And as always, thank you for reading~ *sends cookies to all of you*