But with You, I can Feel again

minhos pov

I find myself walking to the rooftop of the school.

Talking has just made painful and unwanted memories to resurface my mind.

I grasp on to my necklace as i lean in the corner wall cringing as i can't stop the memories from flooding my mind.

Flashback memory
the shouts and screams fill the house.
everything is on hold, no one breathe or moves.
the only thing you can hear or see is the crack of the whip hitting its victim while they cry out in pain.
“You must understand how things are done in this family! i will not accept a weakling as a son.!”
he pulls me up but colloar only to send me laying flat on my stomach with his slap to my face.
I can feel this warm blood oozing all over my body from the whips, and now my face slowly gets covered in my own blood from the hit.

honey, hajima, thats enough.
stand back, the boys hasnt learned his lesson yet, and dont try to stop me.

Distantly i can see my omma, backing away, fear and sorrow in her eyes as she moves away from me. My 2 older brothers follow with their head down making no eye contact.

And the pain begins again.

i said get up, i slowly drag myself to kneel on a pile of grits… the sheer glass and grain cutting my skin, but i must kneel with out movment as the whip lands across my back and legs.
I try to muffle my tears and scream, it takes every ounce of strength too..

“To be worthy you must not feel pain, you must learn to follow orders swiftly and orderly, only then will you be a someone, only then will you make this family proud. Do not be weak, learn to use pain, angry and loss to your advantage.”

Slowly the numbing comes in… Theses no more pain, no more emotions. I dont yell, i dont squirm, but the it doesnt stop…
Physically, the beatings and torture will stop, but its the mental battle that has only begun, this battle never ends…

It suddenly stops, i can hear and object fall to the ground, i turn to see my yeodongsaeng standing in front of me blocking my father’s way.

Im to weak to move from my spot on the floor, i have already collapsed tired… I try but im to late…

he reaches over, sending her across the with one smack…

Minahhh!!

“Since you want to rebel, ill show you, the consequences, he reaches for her and….
end of flashback memory

I thought we would find you up here.

I dont need to open my eyes to know that taemin is already starting to sit down next to me, while Onew-hyung, Jonghyun-hyung and key-hyung are standing around me.

I let go of the necklace and slowly take a deep breath before opening my eyes.
the sun is bright so at first all i see is the bright blinding rays before everyone comes into focus and my vision.

Wanna talk about it minho?? Jonghyun-hyung questions.

He is the most sincere and caring, but he will be mean only when he has to be.

Im hesitant, but only to reply with, What is there to talk about… and i turn my gaze from him to the floor.

hmmm why don't we start with the fact that you walked away even though you're suppose to be befriending him… onew flatly states.

i ball up my fists till my knuckles turn white, “I know what my father expects of me, and i do plan on befriending him, i wont fail. i look up with a icy dark stare at my hyung, I know its rude, but im angry.

as if he was reading my mind… if you're so mad, its best if you let us all hear it, remember we made oaths always to listen because we can't choose where our roots come from, key-hyung squats down to match my eye level.

i let out a heavy sigh…
these people in front of me, honestly because of them I am able to stay somewhat human.
I already am an emotionless family robot, but if not for them i i probably would be a mind-emotionless family robot. But I get to keep my own voice and thoughts… only around them of course…

Sooo…… they all say in union already sitting…
I take another deep breath before i begin.

You are all lucky...
Being the heir of your family name, or at least getting a piece of it...
Then theres me, one who may start as a somebody and end as a nobody...
Its hard walking around, acting if you dont care, or it isnt slowly killing you because the pain is excruciating.

You guys walk freely being your own person, I walk with strings attached restricting what I can or cannot do.

What the point or good in being born into a wealthy family and being stuck at the rear, or having to always prove a point, and you're worth every moment and second you breathe...

this is a lot I have said to them, which shocks me and them, because i usually avoid conversation like this.

We all sit in silence, because this is the way our world works, the way of those who are both to the wealth. We as elites and aristocrats can not choose our own fate, all we can do is either sit and wait, wait to be "paid" to our worth. Or be redeemed unworthy...

how depressing this is, jonghyun-hyung falls back laying down, imagine how many people are looking up at the sky wishing to be us right now...

(silence)

Yet they will never understand our struggles taemin whispers joining jonghyun-hyung

No, because we each have our own story, that they would never understand... Key-hyung reaches to touch his now-healing bruised cheek and lays next to jonghyun-hyung.

yet its amazing how was find those like us to survive in this rich cruel word onew-hyungsays as he also joins the rest laying down.

I dont say anything but join the 4 of them, once again holding the necklace looking at the ring attached at the end, looking at the sky, forgetting ourselves within the universe until we all hear the bell ring for class.

Sulli's pov

After he left the others for apologies for him and vanished.

Did you know that oppa?

Did I know that rule? Yes. Did I know minho was a 3rd child? No. hyun-oppa answers while looking distantly.

Yes, hyun-woo is my oppa, but no one knows im his (little sister) outside our home gates. Past our property gates im just another girl that he knows...

ahh, oppa... Main-ah but I forgot something...
I run off before he can say anything to me...

Im determined to find minho, and i let him know i was being sincere, I don't know why, but I feel like I need too... And im usually not the type to apologize... -.-

i spend the whole time running about to see if I can find him, or one of the guys, but to my misfortune I dont see any of them.

the bell rings, as I turn I spot all of them coming down well hidden stairs in a group.

As I begin to make my way towards them im stopped by 2 unfamiliar voices.
I wont do that if I were you.
Its best if you left them alone for now

I turn to face 2 girls, similar close in age with me
I stand there dumbfounded until the girls look at each other and introduce.themselves

Hey, im krystal jung. Extending her hand for a handshake which I take.
And you can just call me Amber and she gives a little wave.

What i think krystal and amber meant was that when you see those boys walking down those stairs its best to leave them all alone.. or face the severe punishment., Im victoria by the way.

I could tell by the way she walked and talked she was the superior one, meaning she also was older then me, my unnie.

ne unnie, i reply.

well everyone seems to have already introduced themselves so i guess my turn. Im Park Sun-young, but feel free to call me luna-unnie

arresso unnie.

well since were all in the same why dont we all walk there together?? Krystal volunteers.

sure why not victoria-unnie smiles and I find myself being pulled along.

oh well, ill just wait to for another opportunity.

Notes

Horray for double updates!

I hope you guys like this chapter.
Let me know what you guys think, all comments are welcome (:
Excuse any typos or spelling errors. (im lazy to check >.<)

Anyhow.. ~Enjoy!~