A Lion's Memoir
Jealousy
Taekwoon P.O.V.
I sit in the darkness, tears staining my face. All the happiness I had felt starts to fall away, leaving only despair in its place.
I sit for a while but nothing changes. There is no colour, no sound, no anything. I stand up and try to walk around. Closing my eyes, I pick a direction and walk that way. After a few paces I run into what feels like a brick wall. I expected to hear a smack, but instead I hear people talking and waves crashing.
I open my eyes to see Haeundae Beach down in Busan. There are people scattered all over the beach, but one person stands out immediately. I can see Char sitting under an umbrella. I walk over to the umbrella and crouch down next to her. She is wearing a bikini that showcases her abs.
Ever since she left the orphanage at the age of eighteen, she has been working out with the goal of getting abs. She would always join VIXX and I when we went to work out. Our trainer was cool with it because he knew her story. After a while, she started working harder than us, so our trainer decided to give her a different workout plan. After about two years, she finally reached her goal of having perfect abs and less than 10% body fat.
If I am right about my guess, this is the year before our debut, 2011. Char wanted to go to the beach with the confidence to wear a bikini, so I surprised her and brought her here. At this point, Char was 20 and I was 21. The trainees had a day off and Char didn't have class, so I told her we were going to go train at the pool, but instead of going to the pool, I dragged her to the KTX station. We boarded the train, with a lot of resistance from her, and headed down to Busan.
I am pulled from my thoughts when I hear a group of guys approaching. They stop next to the umbrella.
"Hey. I am Kim Taehyung." one of the guys says, stepping closer to Char.
"Hi. I am Oh Jin Ju, but I go by my english name Char." she responds with a smile.
I get a better look at the guy and realise that he is from BTS, or at least he will be in the future. Char became close friends with them after this day. Every weekend, she goes hiking with them. If they don’t go hiking, then they will go play basketball or tennis.
"Wanna come play volleyball with my friends and I?" Taehyung asks.
Char looks over at Taehyung's friends before responding. "Sure."
"Great. Their names are Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook." he introduces his friends. Each one waves when their name is called. “We have a net set up by our stuff. Let’s go.” He says.
Char gets up and follows the boys. She takes her bag with her, but leaves mine there. Instead of following her, I wait until I see myself walking over. He arrives to see Char and her stuff gone. He frantically looks around, but can only catch a small glimpse of her back side as she walks away. He quickly grabs his stuff and follows after Char.
I watch myself as he runs after Char. I remember the panic I had felt then. It was terrible, I thought she was running away again.
I run to catch up to Char, passing myself along the way. I eventually arrive at a beach volleyball net. On one side, Char is standing with Taehyung, and opposite them are Jimin and Yoongi. Char and Taehyung are getting along as if they have been friends since they were young. Yoongi serves the ball right to Char, who returns it beautifully to Jimin. They are all really good at volleyball.
I expected Char to be good at it because she is studying to be a P.E. teacher, but the guys really surprised me with their skills. I have only seen them play basketball, and they weren’t too good. I was expecting them to suck at volleyball.
“CHAR!” I hear someone yell behind my. Turning around I see myself, doubled over and panting.
Char looks at Taehyung, then over to me. "Yah. What took you so long?" Char jokingly asks.
The young me is about to answer but Char turns away and goes to receive the ball that Jimin served. "Yah. Don't do that to me. I thought you had run away again. I was worried." he breathes.
Char returns the ball in a perfect arc over to Yoongi before turning to answer the young me. "Sorry oppa, but I couldn't say no to beach volleyball."
As soon as Char finishes her sentence, I hear Seokjin call out "WATCH OUT!" Char turns around just in time to get the volleyball right in the face. Jimin spiked the ball but he hit it wrong and it flew straight towards Char. The ball hit Char and she went down. I saw myself and Taehyung rush over.
Taehyung got there first. “Are you okay?” He asks, kneeling down next to Char. She is lying down on the sand with her hand covering her face. Taehyung gently helps her sit up, and slowly guides her hand down away from her face. Her face is really red and her nose is bleeding pretty badly. Taehyung gently grabs her face, turning it sideways to make sure her nose isn’t broken.
“Luckily, nothing seems to be broken. Just hold your nose like this and keep your head tilted down for a while.” He says while taking her hand and placing it on her nose.
Taehyung gets up and slowly urges Char to get up. He guides her over to their stuff. Jungkook gets off of his chair so Char can sit there. Taehyung gently sits her down on the chair and heads back to the court with Jungkook.
The young me stands watching Char from a distance. His face displays an emotion that he has never felt before: jealousy.
I have never had to worry about Char hanging around other guys. The only guys she would hang out with were the guys of VIXX, and they only ever thought of her as a sister. This was the first time that a new guy has entered Char’s life. I was worried that she would leave me before I even got the chance to ask her to be my girlfriend.
I see myself slowly walk over to Char. He sits down next to her on the chair, placing his hand on her back. “Are you sure you are okay?” he asks.
Char looks up at him with warm eyes. “Hmm.” she hums in response.
Char turns her attention back to the game, while the young me still looks at Char. I stand watching them for the rest of the afternoon, thinking about all the things I felt that day. I had felt so scared, then worried, then all that disappeared and it turned into happiness. I was scared that Char had left me. Then I was worried that Char was hurt. Finally, near the end of the afternoon, I was so happy that Char had found new friends.
Soon, the sky starts to get darker. The boys had stopped playing volleyball and everyone was sitting in a circle talking. Char tells them all about her past and all about the VIXX and I. Taehyung tells her that he and his friends were also training to become idols.
I sit behind Char, listening to the group talk on and on for what seemed like forever. The young me doesn't talk too much so Char talks for him.
“Hey guys. Why don't we build a bonfire? We can roast marshmallows and make s'mores.” Yoongi suggests.
“That’s a great idea hyung. Why don't we have three pairs go out for firewood and the remaining three can go buy the stuff for s'mores.” Jimin answers.
Everyone splits up into pairs. Jimin and Taehyung pair up, Seokjin and Namjoon pair up, and Char and young Taekwoon pair up to go get firewood. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Yoongi go to the store.
I follow Char and myself as they go look for firewood. They walk for a while in a comfortable silence. Char is the first to break the silence.
“You look really distant today and have been talking less than you normally do. What's wrong?” she asks.
The young me looks down and keeps walking. “Nothing.” he mumbles in response.
Char catches up to him and puts her face right close to my face. She puts on her best detective look and stares me down. I can see myself blush faintly.
“Ahh, you're jealous aren't you?” Char questions. “You are jealous of Taehyung and the other guys.”
“I am not.” young me mumbles.
“Ha, you so are. Why else would you be acting like this?” Char laughs before skipping away from the young me.
I stand watching myself look at Char as she skips away. I remember standing there feeling confused. I had thought to myself “She can't be right. I don't get jealous.” But it turns out Char had been right.
The only boys that Char ever had in her life were the boys of VIXX, so it was really weird to see her close to any other boys.
As I watch Char skipping away, the world fades once again. The world is dark but I can still hear the sound of waves. For the longest time I sat in the darkness, listening to the waves. I close my eyes and start to nod off, the sound of the waves slowly fading away.
I sit in the darkness, tears staining my face. All the happiness I had felt starts to fall away, leaving only despair in its place.
I sit for a while but nothing changes. There is no colour, no sound, no anything. I stand up and try to walk around. Closing my eyes, I pick a direction and walk that way. After a few paces I run into what feels like a brick wall. I expected to hear a smack, but instead I hear people talking and waves crashing.
I open my eyes to see Haeundae Beach down in Busan. There are people scattered all over the beach, but one person stands out immediately. I can see Char sitting under an umbrella. I walk over to the umbrella and crouch down next to her. She is wearing a bikini that showcases her abs.
Ever since she left the orphanage at the age of eighteen, she has been working out with the goal of getting abs. She would always join VIXX and I when we went to work out. Our trainer was cool with it because he knew her story. After a while, she started working harder than us, so our trainer decided to give her a different workout plan. After about two years, she finally reached her goal of having perfect abs and less than 10% body fat.
If I am right about my guess, this is the year before our debut, 2011. Char wanted to go to the beach with the confidence to wear a bikini, so I surprised her and brought her here. At this point, Char was 20 and I was 21. The trainees had a day off and Char didn't have class, so I told her we were going to go train at the pool, but instead of going to the pool, I dragged her to the KTX station. We boarded the train, with a lot of resistance from her, and headed down to Busan.
I am pulled from my thoughts when I hear a group of guys approaching. They stop next to the umbrella.
"Hey. I am Kim Taehyung." one of the guys says, stepping closer to Char.
"Hi. I am Oh Jin Ju, but I go by my english name Char." she responds with a smile.
I get a better look at the guy and realise that he is from BTS, or at least he will be in the future. Char became close friends with them after this day. Every weekend, she goes hiking with them. If they don’t go hiking, then they will go play basketball or tennis.
"Wanna come play volleyball with my friends and I?" Taehyung asks.
Char looks over at Taehyung's friends before responding. "Sure."
"Great. Their names are Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook." he introduces his friends. Each one waves when their name is called. “We have a net set up by our stuff. Let’s go.” He says.
Char gets up and follows the boys. She takes her bag with her, but leaves mine there. Instead of following her, I wait until I see myself walking over. He arrives to see Char and her stuff gone. He frantically looks around, but can only catch a small glimpse of her back side as she walks away. He quickly grabs his stuff and follows after Char.
I watch myself as he runs after Char. I remember the panic I had felt then. It was terrible, I thought she was running away again.
I run to catch up to Char, passing myself along the way. I eventually arrive at a beach volleyball net. On one side, Char is standing with Taehyung, and opposite them are Jimin and Yoongi. Char and Taehyung are getting along as if they have been friends since they were young. Yoongi serves the ball right to Char, who returns it beautifully to Jimin. They are all really good at volleyball.
I expected Char to be good at it because she is studying to be a P.E. teacher, but the guys really surprised me with their skills. I have only seen them play basketball, and they weren’t too good. I was expecting them to suck at volleyball.
“CHAR!” I hear someone yell behind my. Turning around I see myself, doubled over and panting.
Char looks at Taehyung, then over to me. "Yah. What took you so long?" Char jokingly asks.
The young me is about to answer but Char turns away and goes to receive the ball that Jimin served. "Yah. Don't do that to me. I thought you had run away again. I was worried." he breathes.
Char returns the ball in a perfect arc over to Yoongi before turning to answer the young me. "Sorry oppa, but I couldn't say no to beach volleyball."
As soon as Char finishes her sentence, I hear Seokjin call out "WATCH OUT!" Char turns around just in time to get the volleyball right in the face. Jimin spiked the ball but he hit it wrong and it flew straight towards Char. The ball hit Char and she went down. I saw myself and Taehyung rush over.
Taehyung got there first. “Are you okay?” He asks, kneeling down next to Char. She is lying down on the sand with her hand covering her face. Taehyung gently helps her sit up, and slowly guides her hand down away from her face. Her face is really red and her nose is bleeding pretty badly. Taehyung gently grabs her face, turning it sideways to make sure her nose isn’t broken.
“Luckily, nothing seems to be broken. Just hold your nose like this and keep your head tilted down for a while.” He says while taking her hand and placing it on her nose.
Taehyung gets up and slowly urges Char to get up. He guides her over to their stuff. Jungkook gets off of his chair so Char can sit there. Taehyung gently sits her down on the chair and heads back to the court with Jungkook.
The young me stands watching Char from a distance. His face displays an emotion that he has never felt before: jealousy.
I have never had to worry about Char hanging around other guys. The only guys she would hang out with were the guys of VIXX, and they only ever thought of her as a sister. This was the first time that a new guy has entered Char’s life. I was worried that she would leave me before I even got the chance to ask her to be my girlfriend.
I see myself slowly walk over to Char. He sits down next to her on the chair, placing his hand on her back. “Are you sure you are okay?” he asks.
Char looks up at him with warm eyes. “Hmm.” she hums in response.
Char turns her attention back to the game, while the young me still looks at Char. I stand watching them for the rest of the afternoon, thinking about all the things I felt that day. I had felt so scared, then worried, then all that disappeared and it turned into happiness. I was scared that Char had left me. Then I was worried that Char was hurt. Finally, near the end of the afternoon, I was so happy that Char had found new friends.
Soon, the sky starts to get darker. The boys had stopped playing volleyball and everyone was sitting in a circle talking. Char tells them all about her past and all about the VIXX and I. Taehyung tells her that he and his friends were also training to become idols.
I sit behind Char, listening to the group talk on and on for what seemed like forever. The young me doesn't talk too much so Char talks for him.
“Hey guys. Why don't we build a bonfire? We can roast marshmallows and make s'mores.” Yoongi suggests.
“That’s a great idea hyung. Why don't we have three pairs go out for firewood and the remaining three can go buy the stuff for s'mores.” Jimin answers.
Everyone splits up into pairs. Jimin and Taehyung pair up, Seokjin and Namjoon pair up, and Char and young Taekwoon pair up to go get firewood. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Yoongi go to the store.
I follow Char and myself as they go look for firewood. They walk for a while in a comfortable silence. Char is the first to break the silence.
“You look really distant today and have been talking less than you normally do. What's wrong?” she asks.
The young me looks down and keeps walking. “Nothing.” he mumbles in response.
Char catches up to him and puts her face right close to my face. She puts on her best detective look and stares me down. I can see myself blush faintly.
“Ahh, you're jealous aren't you?” Char questions. “You are jealous of Taehyung and the other guys.”
“I am not.” young me mumbles.
“Ha, you so are. Why else would you be acting like this?” Char laughs before skipping away from the young me.
I stand watching myself look at Char as she skips away. I remember standing there feeling confused. I had thought to myself “She can't be right. I don't get jealous.” But it turns out Char had been right.
The only boys that Char ever had in her life were the boys of VIXX, so it was really weird to see her close to any other boys.
As I watch Char skipping away, the world fades once again. The world is dark but I can still hear the sound of waves. For the longest time I sat in the darkness, listening to the waves. I close my eyes and start to nod off, the sound of the waves slowly fading away.
Notes
I am soooo sorry about the 9 month pause. I know that is a very long time. I hope you still remember this story, haha. School started and I couldn't keep up with my writing. I have two more chapters ready and now that school is ending in a month, hopefully I can start updating regularly again. I am soooo sorry about this long wait.
*I am also uploading this on asianfanfics and I am not sure yet whether or not to only update on one or to keep updating on both. How do you guys, my readers feel about this?
@MankaeVideos
Dont feel bad... you're back and we are happy :D <3
9 years ago