Alone

Daesung POV

”Hey Jiyong, have you seen TOP?” Daesung walked into the kitchen.
”Isn't he sleeping?” Jiyong asked, surprised by Daesung's question.
”No, Taeyang doesn't think he actually went to sleep last night.” Daesung said.
”Well that's weird.” Jiyong pulled out his phone. ”I'll call him.”

Jiyong put the phone to his ear while Daesung sat down opposite him.
”Hey, were are you?”
Daesung looked up at Jiyong, it seems like TOP had answered but Daesung couldn't hear TOP's side of the conversation.
”Why are you there?...What?... Okay.... Okay... Yeah, we will be there as soon as possible... see you!” Jiyong hung up and put down his phone.
”What did he say?” Daesung asked.
”He's at the studio.” Jiyong answered.
”Why?”
”He didn't say.” Jiyong stood up. ”Is Taeyang up yet?”
”Yeah I'm up.” Taeyang walked into the kitchen.
”Morning sleeping beauty!” Jiyong said.
”Morning!” Taeyang smiled.
”Can one of you go and wake Seungri?” Jiyong turned around and begun to walk towards the bathroom.
”I can go and wake him.” Daesung said and turned to leave.
”I'm already up.” Seungri came into the kitchen just as Jiyong had closed the bathroom door.
Seungri was wearing dark pants and a dark green turtle neck that covered his whole throat.

Daesung looked down on the ground not able to look at the boy without feeling guilt wash over him. As Daesung looked up at Taeyang he saw the same emotion in the other's eyes.
”I'm going to go to the studio.” Seungri walked past them and towards the door.
”Wait, you need to eat something!” Daesung turned towards the boy.
”Not hungry.” Seungri said and closed the door.

Seungri POV

As Seungri closed the door he let out a deep sigh. He was in fact really hungry but he didn't want to risk running into Jiyong. He showed his hands in his pockets and begun to walk towards the YG building.

~15 minutes later~

When Seungri opened the door to the rehearsal studio he was surprised to find TOP sitting on the couch. He was just about to close the door and walk away when he heard his name.
”Seungri, can I talk to you for a second?”
Seungri turned around to see TOP looking at him with his blank expression.
”Of course.” Seungri walked over and stopped a couple of feet before the man.
”Sit down.” TOP said and nodded towards the empty spot on the couch and Seungri quickly sat down.
”May.. May I look at you throat?” TOP asked after a while.
Seungri looked at him with wide eyes. 'How did TOP know?'

TOP POV

”Why... ehmm.. there's nothing to see.” Seungri stuttered and moved further away from the older man. TOP couldn't believe how frighten the boy was, was this really the same boy from just a few weeks ago. But as TOP looked at Seungri he didn't see the happy, friendly and caring boy. He only saw a scared and wounded animal, scared to show his weakness.
”Daesung told me...” TOP said and looked at the scared boy
”Told you what?” Seungri hand immediately flex to his neck and pulled the fabric to cover more of his throat.
”That.. That you hurt your throat.” TOP said and moved closer to the boy.
”No, I'm fine!” Seungri quickly stood up when TOP came closer.
”Please, just let me look at it!” TOP said and tried to calm Seungri down by putting his hand on the boy's arm.
Seungri pulled back from the touch and looked at TOP with frightened eyes that shattered TOP's inside. Was the boy really afraid of him?
”Seungri it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you.” TOP said calm and tried to reach for Seungri's arm again.
”Don't touch me!” Seungri pulled back even further and collided with the wall behind him.
”Please Seungri, you need to calm down!” TOP said trying not to yell. ”I'm not going to yell at you.”
”Just leave me alone, please!” Seungri pleaded. ”I can't take it any more, just leave me alone!”

Seungri turned around and ran towards the door.
”Seungri!” TOP yelled, but Seungri was already out the door.
TOP sighed and sank down on the couch again, what had they down to the boy. Usually Seungri just acted like anything they said was nothing and always smiled and laughed. TOP thought about what had happened yesterday, Seungri was right about what he had said. TOP closed his eyes as Seungri's words came back to him.

'I need to sleep, I need to eat, I need rest. You say we can't afford anyone in the band to get sick, well apparently I can. I can promise you wouldn't even give a fuck if I would die! I'm sick of everyone looking down at me, I'm sick of being looked at as if i was trash! Just because you're the leader doesn't mean I'm just going to take it! I'm sick of you and you're fucked up game, I'm sick of it!'

TOP let out a shaky breath, every word Seungri had said felt like a knife in his heart.
”I'm sorry Seungri, I'm so sorry.” TOP buried his head in his hands.

Seungri POV

Seungri ran, he ran as fast as he could, as far as he could. He didn't even stop when he fell and scraped his legs. He just continue to run, not knowing where but he knew why. He couldn't keep living like this, keep fearing every time the others came near. He ran through a park and branches scraped up his arms and face, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get away, get away from all of them, get away from his life. He just wanted to cease to exist, to lay down and die.

But he had no idea about how true he's wish could become. When he ran out of the park he heard the sound of a car, then he felt himself get knocked to the ground, hard. His vision went black as he hit the hard cold ground. He could hear people screaming and after a while he heard the sound of sirens. After that the world fell away, it felt like he was floating in mid air. What had happened?
'Please let it end.' Was the last thought that flew through his head before everything became blank.

Notes

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