'Your Laughter Makes The Flowers Bloom'
Yeoseot
But our story wasn’t as beautiful as I thought it would be…
After the darkest night of the year, darker than a black whole, the ugly door mat in front of my home wasn’t the only one in the neighbourhood recieving bunches and bunches of white flowers anymore.
A sound which makes one’s body shiver out of pain reaches throughout the whole building. A big crash against something deadly stone hard. Metal that twists and becomes unnaturally formed, into a lump of sharp pieces of something that can no longer be recognised. A sound that reminds of a bomb exploding. But it wasn’t…
The grey day dawns slowly. A drop of water slides down the leaf of a tree next to my window. Snails are on the move. It has been raining non-stop for hours. Still, hundreds of people are cramming outside of the dormitories, on the street and at the near-by park. They are all showing their sorrow for the lost of their sunshine, their own happy jamless boy. For him whose name I can’t pronounce without losing my mind, collapsing. I can’t… When someone leaves so suddenly like that, it… It makes one numb. I don’t believe it.
I was blessed, they say, to not to be in that bus. To not to go and join the staff. But I didn’t feel like it. I would have preferred to join the collasion, to not to be separated and not to be forced to attend two funerals for the moment being. More than anything, I wanted to cry until I could not cry anymore. Propably if I was sitting on a bench at the park, now that the rain is pouring down heavily, I would drown in something else than my own sorrow. In something else than my meaningless hopes for waking up from this nightmare that is killing me slowly from the inside. In something softer than the pain taking control of my body and pulling me into the mud, into the deep dirty puddles of torture.
Without him, it’s silent. The headquarters are closed. The curtains of his room are closed. I lean against the window, stay there the whole day. Maybe I’m waiting for a miracle. Maybe he would suddenly knock their dormitory’s door and maybe he would come back home.
C-can’t you just c-come back…?
The feelings take over me and flow through my whole body like a big wave. Like those big waves I saw at the beach when… Tears begin to stream down my face and I try to stop it because if I cry it means that it’s real. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want it to become reality, the thing I was scared of the most.
Take care of yourself. Promise me to be well. Eat enough and don’t stress too much, okay? You are good just the way you are. Just be you, do you. You can do it. You can do anything. I will always courage you, I promise…
And then I fall asleep. And I dream of him. He walks to me and he says:
“I’m okay, Dariya. Don’t be like that,” and he smiles.
“We will be okay,” and he nods his head and takes my hand, wrapping his cold fingers around mine.
“You are going to be okay.”
After the darkest night of the year, darker than a black whole, the ugly door mat in front of my home wasn’t the only one in the neighbourhood recieving bunches and bunches of white flowers anymore.
A sound which makes one’s body shiver out of pain reaches throughout the whole building. A big crash against something deadly stone hard. Metal that twists and becomes unnaturally formed, into a lump of sharp pieces of something that can no longer be recognised. A sound that reminds of a bomb exploding. But it wasn’t…
The grey day dawns slowly. A drop of water slides down the leaf of a tree next to my window. Snails are on the move. It has been raining non-stop for hours. Still, hundreds of people are cramming outside of the dormitories, on the street and at the near-by park. They are all showing their sorrow for the lost of their sunshine, their own happy jamless boy. For him whose name I can’t pronounce without losing my mind, collapsing. I can’t… When someone leaves so suddenly like that, it… It makes one numb. I don’t believe it.
I was blessed, they say, to not to be in that bus. To not to go and join the staff. But I didn’t feel like it. I would have preferred to join the collasion, to not to be separated and not to be forced to attend two funerals for the moment being. More than anything, I wanted to cry until I could not cry anymore. Propably if I was sitting on a bench at the park, now that the rain is pouring down heavily, I would drown in something else than my own sorrow. In something else than my meaningless hopes for waking up from this nightmare that is killing me slowly from the inside. In something softer than the pain taking control of my body and pulling me into the mud, into the deep dirty puddles of torture.
Without him, it’s silent. The headquarters are closed. The curtains of his room are closed. I lean against the window, stay there the whole day. Maybe I’m waiting for a miracle. Maybe he would suddenly knock their dormitory’s door and maybe he would come back home.
C-can’t you just c-come back…?
The feelings take over me and flow through my whole body like a big wave. Like those big waves I saw at the beach when… Tears begin to stream down my face and I try to stop it because if I cry it means that it’s real. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want it to become reality, the thing I was scared of the most.
Take care of yourself. Promise me to be well. Eat enough and don’t stress too much, okay? You are good just the way you are. Just be you, do you. You can do it. You can do anything. I will always courage you, I promise…
And then I fall asleep. And I dream of him. He walks to me and he says:
“I’m okay, Dariya. Don’t be like that,” and he smiles.
“We will be okay,” and he nods his head and takes my hand, wrapping his cold fingers around mine.
“You are going to be okay.”
Notes
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@macoco10
Hhahah :-----D I wanted something different to happen... Sorry for making it a sad ending (I'm kind of sad too~) but thank you! :)
7/23/15