Why Is Your Love So Cold?

All I see is darkness. I hurriedly fumble around for my phone. Once I reach it, I turn on the screen. BIG mistake! The bright light blares out almost blinding me. I guess I must have fallen asleep after rehearsal since its dark out. It’s currently midnight.
I was practicing singing and dancing while also recording a song during the space of 10 hours, this time I remembered to take a break so I won’t end up collapsing like last time…
I don’t want to disturb Yeeun if she’s sleeping, and I don’t have any money on me to call a taxi, so my only option is to walk, dread rushes through me. I quickly pack up my things and head out the practice room. “Hey you’re Rian right?” A familiar voice says, I turn my head to find the owner of ‘said’ voice, “Oh my gosh, yep that’s me,” I politely bow, he just laughs.
“Don’t worry you don’t have to do that, you’re part of the JYP Family now. Anyway I heard the song you were recording earlier and I thought it was really good, who wrote it?” He asks,
“Ah thank you, I wrote it and produced it myself,” I shyly reply.
“No problem, if you ever need help or want to work together on a song let me know,”
“Thank you I will,”
“Here, lets exchange numbers before we leave,” He says passing his phone, I quickly do the same. Once we’re done we say our goodbye’s before he leaves.
I can’t believe Jun K from 2PM would like to work with me! Okay Rian calm down, and let’s head home.
Music be heard from this floor, as the curious person I am; I go to check out who it might be. I manage to see Jackson through the glass on the door, I wonder if the other members are there or if they left already, I gently knock before entering. “Hey,” It appears to be Jackson by himself, “What are doing here all alone?” I curiously ask.
“I could be asking you the same thing,” he smirks.
“No but seriously,” I ignore his comment.
“The others left and I wanted to practice more,” he replies.
“Ah, okay, are you still practicing?” I ask
“Why?” Why? Why couldn’t he answer yes or no, do I have to explain myself?
“I was going home and I…I…”
“What?”
“I… was scared to walk alone because of last time,” I mumble.
“Oh. I’m sorry I didn’t think about that,” He apologises.
“No it’s fine you wouldn’t have known,” I assure him.
“Yeah I was thinking of heading back to the dorms, I’ll walk with you on the way there,” He adds. I happily smile, “Thank you,” He quickly grabs his things before we leave.
The air is clean and slightly cold, but very peaceful. “So how’s everything going with your album?” Jackson asks breaking the silence.
“Er yeah, it’s going well I have a couple songs I want to add, but I’m kind of having a hard time finishing them, or starting them…” I mumble the last part.
“Oh wow really? If you can’t think of any, wait for inspiration and if that takes too long make inspiration to write your songs, or make do with the songs you have; you have enough to make it a mini album right? So do that and save the songs for later,”
“Wow, thank you, I think I’ll use that advice,” I happily reply. Jackson has these great moments where I’m happy to ask him for advice.
“Did you know who that stalker was?” Jackson suddenly asks.
“Huh? Well that came out of no-where…No I didn’t know who it was I couldn’t see the face, but I’m certain it’s a man.”
“….”
“W-why? Why do you ask?” I stutter, this topic of conversation makes me uneasy.
“I don’t know, I was just curious. They’re many reasons for celebrities to have OTT Fans. Maybe it could be a fan really, really, likes you like a lot,”
“Why would you say that? I didn’t have any fans yet until I moved from YG to JYP, no-one really knew me… how could I have sae-sang fans already?” This is starting to freak me out.
“I don’t know I-”
“Can we just stop talking about this here?! Please?” I uncomfortably reply.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be affected this much,”
“What are you talking about, I’m fine!” I lie,
“Sure you are….” Jackson mumbles. I glare at him, “It’s just now, I thought we would talk about other things that are happier, I don’t think it’s relevant to talk about things like that, while we’re walking in the middle of the night”
“Listen you’re just making yourself more scared, admitting it is better that keeping it in. You got to get it off your chest to make you feel more secure,” He simply states.
“Okay, Wang, just because you think I’m scared you’re turning into my therapist now?” I tease
“Yeah you could say that, I’ll be here when you need me, I’ll listen to your issues, your day, life, that’s what qualified therapists at ‘Wang Therapists’ do,” he replies with a smirk.
“Great advertisement,” I snigger.
5 minutes later we eventually go our separate ways, I thank Jackson for walking with me most of that way and agreed to hang out tomorrow after I finish practice and a meeting.
I cautiously make my way home keeping at a quick pace, and always checking around me, you could say that I’m paranoid, but I have the right to be scared. Every shadow I see, I immediately think it’s a person sometimes it is but they are nowhere near me, or its trees. I cut across the lit up area of the public park just so I can get home quicker. The feeling of being followed or watched lingers over my shoulder. Let’s hope that when I turn around I won be frightened by something.
I may have jinxed myself since there’s a dark figure a couple metres behind me. Rian stay calm, it could be a passer-by, don’t freak yourself out. It speeds up, I shuffle to the left in case they want to get past. They run pass me, phew. I freaked myself out over nothing. The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach slowly eases away.

Notes

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