Gratefulness~ pt.4

I hear Ji whispering in my ear "I'm sorry" and I glance at her anxiously but still try to smile. I just hope that they would talk about me as a trainee. Please...

Hyeong Don says something about G-Dragon and I and the cameras turn theateningly to us. A small smile spreads on my face immidiately and I make sure I'm not standing too close to my sunbaenim.
"Welcome," the translator helps me and at the same time Defconn is explaining that they had to hire a translator because of me.
"How do you communicate with the staff then?" they ask me and I answer that there has only been minor problems with it, so, well. I nod and smile.
"G-Dragon, long time no see!" they pay attention to him for a while and ask him about his American debut and about his very busy year with all the new songs and special events. Ji tells that he's leaving but coming back soon so that they can continue their world tour. They also mention the Europe tour and for a second my heart hurts. I hope I could go and see the concert and that I would collect happy memories there. What happened last summer is still weighing on my shoulders.
"You ended up in YG Entertainment by accident," Defconn tells something about me for the viewers who don't know about me. I nod and stay silent, try to keep calm like my sunbaenim.
"How has it been, working with the best?"
"Amazing," I smile. "I'm very grateful for being able to work under this company. I never even dared to dream that I could be one of the trainees." And the translator tells them what I just said.
"I have to ask," Hyeong Don begins. "Do you know any Korean?"
"Yeah, of course. I'm studying it very hard but I'm not even near to be enough confident to speak Korean all the time," I laugh akwardly and Hyeong Don keeps nodding understandingly.
"Can you say I love you in Korean?" he asks again. I can feel Ji Yong staring at me with a grin on his face. A satisfied grin, saying "It's nice to see you being teased for a change".
"Ne, " I nod so that my hair swings back and fort and the men seems to be surprised already..
"Saranghaeyo," I pronounce and smirk. Hyeong Don falls on his knees and prays fto thank the God for me coming in this country. I try my hardest not to die out of laughter and Ji is grinning beside me.
"Aah! A pretty foreigner has never said that she loves me! That's all I needed! My day is saved!"
"But you are seriously retty," Defconn agrees. "Like Angelina Jolie."
I shake my head. I'm not that pretty.

And when we take a short break, Ji comes to me and hands me a juice box. He smiles slightly and I just stand with a blank expression on my face to not to arouse any suspicion about us two. I hope I just don't make it two obvious.
"They like you, or more like they love you," he grins and I pout.
"Well, yeah," I mutter silently. But I can't lick until it drips. The show isn't over yet.

"Where did you meet for the first time? Did YG introduce you? How does it even work at the entertainments?" they ask and at the same time open a discussion about us two. I almost got to sigh out of relief how they had talked about us as individuals and I will still try to not to talk about it, just like I was a professional already.
"No, actually, at BIGBANG's concert," Ji answers and they are not the only ones who stares at him.
"Oh. When?" Defconn asks.
"What is it," Ji looks at me and I look at him.
"A year ago, I think," I say silently and I can hear Hyeong Don laughing.
"It's like you two were a couple," he grins. "Like he doesn't know how long you two have been together and Minea looks at him angrily because he should know."
"Yeah," I give a little laughter and nudge Ji's elbow. "He's like that." Ji smiles.
"Right, okay. And I also heard that G-Dragon is helping you personally," Hyeong Don turns to look at Defconn. "Doesn't it sound like the perfect beginning for a workplace romance?"
I laugh akwardly and Ji presses his sunglasses again.
"Um, yeah, well.. He know the most about international things, so he's the best person to help me because of that."
"I like how you avoided my words," Hyeong Don laughs but continues on before I even get to react to it.
"GD, how would you describe Mineha?"
"Hmm," Ji thinks and takes a look around the room. "She's different. And, very hard-working. She has great potential to become successful."
"Okay, okay, okay!" Hyeong Don throws his hands in the air and makes us laughing out of embarrassment. He's not satisfied.
"We're not trying to promote her. No. Instead, tell something nice and personal about her. What is she like?"
"Minea?" Ji glances at me quickly and smiles. "Well, she is warm and funny. And she has a very good heart. She is special," he mutters silently and nods at the MCs with a small smile on his face. Hyeong Don looks at Ji, judging his answer hard.
"Why are you like this?" Hyeong Don scratches his jaw and squints his eyes. "Like a little girl? Can't you tell us the truth? You two are together, aren't you?" he points at us. I gulp. But I guess he's just trying to ship us together and that's it. We both shake our heads embarrassed.
"Ash!" Hyeong Don sighs. "So boring."
"Okay," Defconn is looking at the notes. "Now it's time for some games."

In the evening the girls come running and screaming at me. Also Cecily has come to visit the dorm to see me. But as I hear them, I just look miserable, take the hairband off and throw in on the table. Their exciting faces turn into a mix of confusion and sympathy.
"What ahppened? You two looked so cute together...?" Narelle comes to me first, takes my handbag and helps me to the ktichen table. It looks like they have spend the evening drinking wine and eating crackers, and also watching how my image goes down the drain.
"I don't know..." I sigh because I have no words. I just lean against the table and hide my face.
"Whaat...?" Cecily tries to look into my eyes but for nothing.
"It was so absurd. I would have never thought that YG would let you two show up even in public together but in a TV show...?" Mi-Ok tries to understand my feelings.
"It's not about that," I mutter and everyone quiets down. They don't get it.
"Fortunately," I say. "Because it would make it even worse."
Now I am famous because of G-Dragon. It's not like I was not grateful for him. I was. But it still bothers me. I know it's a good promotion but I will propably never be famous because I'm a good singer or rapper. Not ever because I'm talented or because I have worked hard for my dreams and believed in myself even at the weakest times. No. But instead because I have been confirmed to spend time with the Korean's most appreciated artist. And they say I don't do it for music, I do it because I happened to get the opportunity. But I've grown to it. It's what I want the most now. And maybe someday they will ask me the toughest question I have to prepare for: "Which one do you love more? Music or Ji Yong?"
I can feel it coming... Yes. Hot tears rolls down my cheek and fall on the cold marble. No one even sees it before I look up. Mi-Ok dashes to me right away and tries to squeeze me to death.
"Mineha!" she shouts. "Don't cry! Don't you girl even dare to think of crying!"
But I'm crying already. It's a bit late of her to say. And it's late to become what I could have become. For a moment, I feel like I had lost myself. I am somebody else, a structure that I let someone else build for me.

Notes

Teaser for chapter 35 (last chapter)