Gratefulness~ pt.4

I'm staring at myself from the mirror, staring at the nose bridge I'm still not used to. It's just a small change and the people who don't know about the surgery haven't even noticed. And my jaw hasn't changed so much either although it did hurt a lot. I nod. I'm good, I say to myself. Go on, Minea.
I walk out of the toilet after washing my hands and go back to Hyun Suk's office where all the sponsors, teachers and other mentors and professionals are sitting. It feels like there was more of them everytime and since this is the last check-up of my trainee time, the whole room is filled with people who chat with each other like we were organizing some event. Hyun Suk has invited them to give an opinion on me and he has also warned me of harsh critique because some of the guests are very very strict and they only like the best of the best. That's why I have dressed in my best and it's the first time YG has given me a pile of Nonagon clothes. My outfit is made of a Nonagon hoodie and knee-high socks with my own dress and leather sneakers. I also curled my hair in the morning and tied it on the side. My makeup look is neutral so that I wouldn't look too dressed up. Instead of updating my outfits to the blog, I've updated them to snapchat because my time is so limited and I don't want to give my readers bad blog posts and, yet, I have gotten so many new readers during the last month. I don't understand how people find me, especially how the Koreans find me from Finnish websites. I will always keep wondering about that.
I perform my three latest songs and one short rap verse that I wrote just a few days ago. Everyone listens silently with their judging face on. Only a little almost invisible hint of a satisfied smile flashs on Hyun Suk's face. I notice Seungri, who has just been visiting the headquarters and joined us, filminf me during my 'Silent Cry' song.
After my performance a man in black from the front nods his head and gives me a thumb up.
"You're unique. That's great. Don't change."
"You changed the intro? Good," YG compliments briefly.
"It's hard to give up the bad lyrics. They're all like my childred..."
YG laughs.
"You have to do it to become better."
"Yeah, I know. It's just sad."

Eventually after all the compliments and critiques my patience is rewarded. I pull Seungri's sleeve just when he's about to leave the room where only me, CEO and his secretary are.
"Ya!" I yell at him as I pull him backwards.
"Wae --," he looks at me surprised. I glance at Hyun Suk and the secretary before grabbing a tight hold on Seungri and starting to walk towards the stairs.
"But I wanted to take the elevator --"
"No. It's good for yout health," I say and pull him closer.
Seungri laughs at the situation.
"Why are you so spicy?"
"Spicy," I blow air out of my mouth and laugh at the word he used.
"Why did you tell about me and Ji Yong?" I change my happy expression into angry staring.
"Tell who?" he acts surprised, like he wouldn't know what I mean.
"Yah!" I yell and slap his arm.
"Minea!" he laughs. "Ji Yong has a violent woman. I better warn him."
"Oh, lord. This is no use," I shake my head. I don't have energy to argue with him.

Hyun Suk sees me in the cafeteria and sits down to talk with me. I feel a bit embarrassed about my huge meal but I haven't eaten well lately and now I'm just super hungry. But he doesn't seem to mind about it.
"You still enjoy here in Korea?" he smiles at me in a friendly manner, although I see him looking serious so often.
"Sure," I smile as I stuff my face with kimchi. I have not even once thought that I wouldn't like this country, no matter how much I missed Finland. It's good that I get to go home soon and see my mother and brothers. I wouldn't like to wait until tomorrow evening when I'm already relaxing in the airplane. But before that, I have so much to do.
"Do you remember that we're forming the group soon?" he reminds me and mixes his jajangmyeon. The cafeteria is pretty quiet because we're early. Only a few staffs are discussing something at the corner table.
"I do," I answer him. "How could I forget?"
"Good," he says with a tone that stays in the air almost like he had something special to tell me. I examine his expression, not saying a word.

Notes