
Gratefulness~ pt.4
"Again today, in an empty room I hear the lonely clock hands Another meaningless day is passing"
I run and run. I don't know if my legs are keeping up with me or if I have grown wings and I'm flying. The sky is black and the water flowing down the river is black as well. The stars are caged, not moving as fast as us. Narelle is running beside me, speeding like Usain Bolt. Joggers look behind themselves as we run past them thinking: "What are those? Superhumans?"
Water is running from the sides of the bridge and dashing into the darkness. The led lamps form a large rainbow over the water in the middle of the night. A dark figure is standing up on the road. Red hair swings nearby in the shadows and we catch Gyo Mi-Ok. Nothing's going to stop us.
We head to the big road and run towards the top of the bridge. Cars are driving by fast and our sides are touching the railing as we rush to Cecily. She's holding the railing with both of her hands, lifting her leg on it.
"Cecily!" I scream as loud as I can and it sounds like an eagle's shrieking.
Cecily misses her step and falls on the road. I pull her up briskly as soon as I come to her. Cecily shrieks heart-breakingly and cries intensively. Gyo Mi-Ok wraps her arms around this shocked woman and Narelle stays a few meters away and just stares at the scene she's witnessing.
"Cecily, let's go," I tell her with gentle tone and take her arm. She's shaking.
"I-I... I want t-to go," she says without being able to breath properly. I don't think she means the same type of going as I do.
Cecily can't manage to stay up, her legs keeep giving up. Mi-Ok helps me and Narelle follows us behind silently. The feeling of an astounding shock floats in the air...
I hand over a hot cup of tea I have mixed a little bit of honey into. Her weak hands are shivering on her lap. Her eyes are in another universe. And her soul, taken. Ripped in pieces. With her heart still on it's place, but with the feeling of her presence not there anymore. She looks desperate. I'm not sure if we should take her to hospital, or if she will ever recover from her state. Will she remain like that...? Blank and lifeless?
"Cecily," Gyo Mi-Ok whispers gently and reaches towards her. We are at Cecily's apartment. Narelle is standing near the door, she can't look at close her friend. Narelle swallows her tears.
There's no answer nor reaction. Mi-Ok pulls her hand back. I put the cup down on the table. Maybe she would take it herself at some point if she wanted to.
"It could help if we talked about it," Mi-Ok tries to get her to open up. I sit down in the dark corner on an old armchair. The decoration of her home consists mostly of things found from flea markets. It's not as flashy as her personality would imply.
Cecily doesn't respond in any way. It's like she wasn't even there with us, like she had fallen into a deep sleep. Her glazed gaze...
I tremble and turn to look away. What in the world can make a human act like that? How the life can escape one's eyes so quickly?
Out of the blue, Cecily makes a screech sound and her eyes start moving from side to side repeatedly. Her whole face is quivering. Tears begin streaming down like the water falling from the Banpo bridge. Gyo Mi-Ok moves immediately on her knees next to Cecily and helps her by drying her tears as the new ones fall. I lean my cheek against my palm and shake my head hopelessly. Cecily is not looking at anything. She can't hear us. She just is, cries and shivers. I don't know if she even knows where she is. Or that we are there with her.
Mi-Ok promises to stay overnight at Cecily's place and to call right away if she need any extra help.
We leave to the dorm with Narelle by the bus. I stare at the lights and the changing advertisements blankly. It can happen. Suddenly, everything can crumble in a second.
At the dorm we don't go to sleep. Both of us are not sleepy and we know that without even asking each other. We sit down on the couch watching the drama episodes and movies until the sun rises. I don't know how long exactly.
Then it's time to go to work again. I skip the breakfast and just drink a small glass of water. I feel sick. I can't take my mind away from the party songs and Cecily's grey blurred eyes. It requires real magical power to focus on studying. Geom-jeon-saek, black. A-pa-yo, painful. Ko-jit-mal, a lie. Those are the words that I'm able to memorize.
After reporting myself, I go to the HQ's toilets. I lock myself in a booth and slide down on the floor against the wall. I take my notebook and pencil and begin writing.
"One second can turn around the whole lifetime..." I whisper by myself and lean my head against the wall. I think about Cecily, that sunny and obliging girl. She's not at work today. Mi-Ok had to report to YG in favor of her.
During my dinner break I decide to visit Cecily. I want to check how she's doing. Grey clouds have been covering the sky since yesterday and it looks a lot darker on the ground than usually.
I knock on her door. I can hear music playing loud. I have to bang the door with both of my hands. Finally Cecily comes to open it.
She's awake and smiling at me painfully. Her hair is dirty, tied up. On her she has an old merchandice top and pants too big for her size. She's a sad thing to look at in the dark and empty aparment of her with the American dance music playing in the background. The smile freezes on Cecily's face and she turns around leaving the door open.
I step inside and close the door. The little apartment looks way more spacious and I look around surprised. Cecily utters a laughter but her expression isn't happy. She sits on a bar stool.
"He came today and took everything with him," she tells me, still with the frozen smile on her face. Her gaze looks unnatural, almost scary.
"So what happened?" I ask after a moment of silence.
"What always happens," she says. "I fell in love and he didn't," she answers negiligently and throws her arms in the air. They lived together at least five years and were in a relationship since she was fifteen. All this time her boyfriend had been married and all the time her wife had known about them. All those years were build of lies. Bigger and smaller. The last years of her life were wasted. That's how she described the situation.
I listened to her and let her do the talking, although I didn't know if it helped her. I left her the food I had got from a restaurant. Bulgogi, kimchi, rice and Korean pancakes. She didn't look hungry but I left it still, just in case.
It's quiet at the dorm. Narelle has told Ariel about what has happened since she can speak Chinese fluently. Because of Cecily I couldn't help thinking about the moment when my world came crushing down and I let it slip through my fingers. It felt bad. Just like everything I had ever lived for had been taken away. It was awful. But I didn't react as strongly as Cecily. It couldn't have been even possible. She had grown up with her boyfriend, into an adult she now is. She had moved to Korea and studied in the same university with him. She had lived along with her boyfriend. She had build her life along with him. And now she didn't know who she was anymore. All that he had made her into had suddenly changed. I hope that she would still find herself.
During the night also GD contacts me after a good while of not showing any interest in me. He asks if I could join him for a ride but I say no without explaining too much. Although I keep saying it to others, telling them to talk about the hard things because it helps, I personally don't want to. I'm that kind of person who keeps the things to myself. Maybe some people will say that it's not healthy but I have survived up until now so why wouldn't I survive in the future as well. And now I just want to go to sleep early.
Notes
Sorry for a moment of silence, I was travelling the whole last week so I hadn't time to write. I'm going to publish more chapters now during the next few days. :)
----------------------------------------------------
Teaser for chapter 4
@#92885
I've been getting asked a lot lately concerning the 5th part and so I'll be posting an update about it now on my tumblr page so check that out but yeah it's coming! :) Thank you for reading my fanfiction and showing interest in it! I'm very very grateful! ♥
1/22/16