Gratefulness~ pt.4

I empty the bottle and throw in the trash. I get inside the car and take my phone to my lap. Ji drives off the parking lot and heads to the main road.
"Where are we going this time?" I ask. My eyes are glued to the phone screen but as Ji looks at me, I act normally.
"What if," he taps the steering wheel and turns to a familiar-looking road that is finally open again. "We go to your dorm."
"Huh?" I get scared of his words. "Dorm? Why the hell would you come there..." I quiet down.
"I haven't seen the dorms for a long time. I visited iKON's last month but that's pretty much it."
I laugh akwardly by myself.
"Girls will go insane if they see you. You won't be able to get rid of them, you know."
But the black car is already searching for parking space and I don't know what to do..
"I'll just leave you here then," Ji states and park under the tree.
"Wait. You are doing it again!" I realise.
"Hmh?"
"You brought me out of a party just to take me home."
Ji smirks and turns to look at me with his puppy eyes.
"Jagi..."
"Nooo!" I turn to face the door and pout but I'm really not that angry. I can not get angry at him.
"You are treating me like a baby. I wasn't that bad! And it's not even my bedtime yet..."
Ji laughs silently. I feel a finger moving my hair away from my neck and moving on my skin.
"Ji Yong... Don't."
Now his whole palm presses on my bare shoulder and I can hear him moving. A gentle breath can be felt.
"What are you doing even?"
There's no answer. Then abruptly I feel a steaming hot touch on my neck and freeze on my place. I reach my left hand backwards and try to feel in what kind of position he is in. An arm. His knee. His shoudler... And fluffy hair. It's his hot forehead that's pressed on my neck. I laugh as I find it out.
"Are you going to sleep there, huh?"
I can feel his face showing a wide smile as an answer.
He's cute, I think to myself pathetically. I breaht and smile. We don't have to go anywhere. The same weird feeling takes me over. It's a mix of happiness, excitement, waiting, fear... But especially happiness. I breath silently and feel another person's breathing running down my back. Slowly an arm goes around my, holds me tightly. My smile muscles are about to explode. After a while I put my hand on Ji's hand, touch the smooth skin of his, run my fingers on it. Slowly. I move my forefinger on his palm to his fingertips, and back. It's warm. His arm presses even more closely to my side.

"I'm just afraid of losing you, okay?" a faint voice says. "I'm leaving and I won't be back soon."
"I didn't see you for six months and I still liked you. Isn't that proving something?" I take his hand.
"But it's another six months," he mumbles against my skin.
"I wouldn't like to ask you this," I lock our fingers. "But don't you trust me?"
"No, it's not that," Ji leans with his whole body against me and I utter a mall laughter.
"I know," I sigh. "Sorry for acting so childish today," I remember to say and I turn my head to see him. He lifts his head, still holding me gently.
"No, no. Don't be," he smirks and his brown eyes stare at mine happily.
"Why do we always end up hugging and apologizing?" he asks while smiling but it seems like he wasn't so happy about that.
"What should we do then?" I try to make him feel better. "Have sex and insult each other...?" I don't know what my point was but I guess I've been watching a wrong kind of drama lately. We both burst in laughter. At least I got him in better mood.
"Ashh, girl. I don't know you well enough," Ji grins. And then I get a message. My phone vibrates somewhere between mine and his legs and I search for it.
"Who?" Ji asks as I open the lockscreen.

'Kiko knows about us. She said that she will tell everyone, Ji Yong included.'

I'm sweating. I have to get inside before Ji founds out. I gulp down and put the phone in my pocket.
"Oh, nothing," I laugh light-heartedly and grab the door handle.
"They must be waiting for you already..." I touch his chest with a smile on my face.
"But --," Ji gets confused and raises his hand to take mine but I put it down.
"I feel suddenly so... Tired," I mumble.
"But you don't look like it," Ji frowns under his long hair. I'm not convincing enough but I truly have no idea how I would be able act something else in this situation.
"I thought that we could spend this evening together..." His eyes hurt me with sadness. It makes me feel cold inside. I don't ever want to hurt you but... I guess I have already done that.
"Aniyoo," I laugh it off and wave. "We still have time. I want to go to sleep now, okay?"
Ji doesn't answer me and that is really the worst. I feel so bad as I hug him for a goodbye.
"Drive carefully..."

Notes

Teaser for chapter 21