Gratefulness~ pt.4

"Did you like my gift?" Ji Yong-ah smiles as he hands me a glass of water. I decided to stop by as I was running outside and when I got inside and saw the suitcases near the small table in the hall, I got shocked. He said he had just gotten them out of his closet and ready for the packing and then he had taken them back in his bedroom out of my eyes. He really is leaving. I knew it but I hadn't really tought about it.
"Hmh?" I wake up from my dream and look at Ji Yong who's raising his eyebrows at me. But before he gets to ask me why I'm acting weird, I remember his question.
"Ah, ne! Kyeopta. Komawo," I smile and sip the water. I should learn to speak Korean better, I think to myself. Ji drags a chair with him and sit on the opposite side of me at the kitchen table. We talk about this and that and soon I have to leave because of the check-up.
"Mineha," Ji touches my shoulder when I'm opening the door. I turn around. He looks silently at the floor.
"I'm sorry that we have so little time to spend together," he says ashamed and I utter a laughter before I get serious myself too. I take his hand and hide it between my hands.
"Then I'm sorry too. For not being able to come with you and to be on your side everyday and every moment like I used to..." I sigh deeply.
"You are always on my side as longs as I know you are here," he speaks. And I look into his eyes that are looking down at my jacket.
"And, waiting for me." His voice sounds like he was questioning if it was so. I smile and hug him gently.
"Mmh," I mutter. "I will be waiting for you, Ji Yong. No matter how long we would be apart. It's just a tour. I can manage," I back off and look him in the eyes, touch his cheek. "Can you?"
"You know it's not 'just a tour'," he says to me. After a second of silence and staring he just laughs akwardly and smiles before giving me the last hug.
"Aah, jagiyah," he sighs so silently, it sounds like whisper. "You are so lovable."
I utter a small laughter. I have fallen in love with his English and in the future I will get to listen to it even more, although on the radio or in a tv show or sometimes on phone. But it won't matter. As long I just can hear his voice somehow.

Someone touches my back as I'm walking to the cafeteria. And before I get to see who it is, he already takes my hand and starts leading me to the opposite direction. My first notices are a white jacket, black jeans and HBA's shirt.
"Young Bae?" I wonder what he wants this time, as an excuse. To take a new selfie? Or maybe a belfie? I have to hold onto my poncho so that it wouldn't fly off as we rush forward. He leads me into a studio. I stay standing near the door and catching my breath. Tae sits down on a chair and stares at me with a serious expression.
"Who are you to drag me here?" I whine. "I'm hungry! I have photoshoots at twelve!" I take a look at the clock and it's already half past eleven. The car must arrive in ten minutes.
"Don't you have any manners?" I decide to snap because well, I already started whining. "At first you didn't drive me to the dorm so that I could sleep and now this? I'm freaking out! I'm in a hurry, Young Bae! Don't you understand?!" He looks like he had no need to rush at all.
"Mianhe, mianhe," Tae sighs and slams his hand on the table. I frown. This is better be something important. I take a deep breath and sit on the producer's chair.
"Say it quickly," I tell and stare at him strictly.
"We have a problem," he lets out.
"What problem... Did you tell Ji Yong?" I'm about to flip. "If you told him... No! No, no, no, no..." I'm getting hysterical and it's not far away that I would cry. But then I remember the photoshoots, I can not cry now. I take another deep breath and close my eyes.
"Why did you," I whisper. But he doesn't say a word. He has been completely silent all the time. I open one eye. He's staring at the table blankly.
"Hmh?" I open both of my eyes.
"It's not that," he says silently.
"It's not? Oh, thank God," I sigh out of relief. "But why didn't you tell me that?" I look at him angrily again. "I was worriyng for nothing."
"I wasn't sure if it were worse than that," he says silently and bites his lower lip.
"Worse?" I gasp. "What can be worse than getting dumped and being told to go back to where I came from so that I could die alone?" I look at Taeyang astonished.
"Someone," he begins. "Who is ready to destroy everyone's life to get her revenge."
I stare into his darkening eyes with fear.
"You mean...?"

I fall on the sofa as tired as a man can be as the clock points at twelve.
Narelle has gotten back from his practices before I did, after spraining her ancle.
"Ah! I'm so dead," I say loudly and spread my arms.
"How are you going to manage now that GD is leacing to Ameriva?" she asks casually as she takes a bandage out of the first-aid kit. I startle and look at her confused, but then turn back.
"What do you mean? Well..." I sound a bit weird. I'm not as good at lying as I thought I would be. And Narelle notices it.
"Ha! You two really have something serious going on.
"Sssh! Be quiet," I look around the room. Gyo Mi-Ok shows up and walks into the kitchen.
"Isn't that kind of obvious already?" Mi-Ok smirks and get herself some juice.
"Please, guys, don't tell anyone," I beg. "I don't want to end up in the magazine covers anymore."
Narelle laugh sarcastically: "And how are you going to prevet that? You work for YG, one of the biggest companys here. You will always be in the spotlight, especially if you are seen with the top idols."
"Issh," I make a sound and grin at her sarcasm.
"I mean, really, about me and Ji Yong. A senior and a trainee... It's just doesn't sound right," and I realise how funny it actually is.
"Fine, we won't," Narelle smiles and gets up, tries if the bandage is wrapped well. "And you can count on me and Mi-Ok if you need any help or something," she smiled. I nod and laughs afterwards. It's relieving to be able to tell about these things but I feel a bit concerned because I will forever be some kind of a threat to others and they can take advantage of what I tell them. I will always be different from them and I know that I can never completely trust anyone. Koreans can be a bit sneaky, or not just a bit. I will never know what happens.

Notes

Teaser for chapter 19