Gratefulness~ pt.4

I first open my right eye. Then the left one. It's gloomy. I stare at the mirror on the other side of the room. I look scary. My head is wrapped in white thick bandage and it hurts so, so much. I'm not sure if I've seen this room before. The door is open.
Something moves near my feet and I get scared of it. I lift my head but my neck hurts so much that I can see only a glimpse of Gaho before my head sinks back into the soft pillow. The dog licks my toes once.
I can hear a water tap being opened and then closed. After hearing steps coming closer, Ji Yong walks through the doorway carrying a glass of water in one hand and a package of medicin in another. He notices that I've woken up and rushes to me. I stare blankly at him. I have nothing to say or express. He puts the glass of water and the medicin on the table and sits down on the floor, crossing his legs underneath.

"Anniyeong," he smiles a little, cautiously, and places his palm against my cheek. I feel myself so loved that I begin to tear up. After all the things I've done to make his life worse, still he wants to take care of me. He could have just left me in the park to die. But no, Ji Yong is so kind. And he's the most caring person I have ever met in my life. And I wouldn't think so if it wasn't true.
My eyes get watery and a single tear drops on the pillow.
"Hey, why are you crying...?" Ji wipes a stream of tears from my cheek. He touches my hand and leans momentarily his head against the bed, showing how much happier he is now that I am back to my senses.
"It's okay now," he turns to look at me, smiles and kisses my hand gently like it was nothing. I try not to cry and my face must look unnaturally awful.
"Hey," he worries and massages my hands inside his. I can see his eyes tearing up a little as well. "What's wrong...?"
I shake my head and gulp down what ever was in my mind. "Nothing," a husky whisper gets out of my mouth.
"You are safe now. I found you," Ji Yong smiles through his sad-looking eyes to make me feel better. He must feel awful too. I am making him feel even worse just by looking like I'm a big mess, which I am, but I really wouldn't like to bother him any more.
He takes the glass and medicin.
"Here. Can you take these? It will help."
"Mmmh," I sneer and lift my head although it hurts unbelievably badly. Ji drops the pill in my mouth and helps me with the water. The he puts them back on the table and just looks at me for a while, helpless, before he wraps his arms around me and gives me a warm wave that runs through my cold aching body.
"Aigoo~" he sighs. "I'm so happy you woke up. When you passed out on me, for a moment I though..."
Ji Yong backs up and smiles relieved.
"I don't understand what happened to you...? And sorry," he shakes his head. "You don't have to tell me but I'm really so sorry if I have done something to you and if I'm destroying you or... You should tell me if something is wrong, if you just want to. Just don't be suicidal, okay?" he gives me a thumb up.
"Seeing you like this... I feel awful."
And that's how I did it again. I managed to hurt him once more. I really did. I curse myself to hell in my mind. He takes the medicin package back to the kitchen and I get to cry a few tear. It would be so much better if I wasn't here. If I never had even gotten here. Never...

I sleep another few hours as the medicin makes me feel a bit better. When I wake up, I have turned to face the wall and Ji Yong has crawled next to me. I have stolen his blanket but it doesn't look like it bothers him. Ji stares me deep into my eyes and smirks.
"Good morning," he greets me.
"What is the clock?" I mumble and squint my eyes although it's not that bright.
"Twelve," Ji Yong smiles peacefully and hides his head in my hair. I look at his direction worried.
"What?!"
"Ani, ani ani. Don't worry," he reaches his arm around me. "I called YG and told him you were sick and I had to take care of you."
"No, you didn't," I gasp silently. He nods with a small smile on his fresh face.
"Try to get better today, okay?"
I nod confused. "You really said that you're going to take care of me?"
"Yes," he whispers, still hiding behind me.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you," I sigh deeply and touch lightly his hand that rests next to mine.
"You have been hurt enough many times. You should just stay away from people who hurt you. Please, do so," I beg him. I hope he would understand what I mean.
"Then," Ji Yong thinks. "I would be very lonely."
I roll my eyes and sigh silently.
"No," I say. "Just don't let girls hurt you."
Ji laughs at my seriousness.
"Don't let Kiko or me or anyone hurt you anymore, please."
It's quiet for a while. Ji Yong breathes deeply and I can feel him watching me.
"Mineeha," he begins. His fingers lock around mine and he makes me to look at him. I glance at his perfect face, not knowing if I would ever see it again if I now told the truth.
"There is something I haven't seen for a long time."
I stare at him. I don't have time for mystery talk. He seems to really thing about the words.
"When you hurt me, it hurts you too," he looks into my eyes calmly. "I see it. You feel how I feel. Empathy... You regret it. I think, it's the connection between us. And the difference between you and her."
"Are you really comparing us two?" I sigh silently and look away. But then he makes me to look back at him and he looks serious, for the first time now.
"She was cold and she never cared about how I felt. Truly," he nods sharply and I know that he has something important to tell me. "But I stayed because I thought I loved her. Then you suddenly came from somewhere and made me realize it wasn't the same thing." The serious pouting on his face turns into a slight smile and he hold me even tighter. His eyes sink into mine.
"I don't want any other girls to hurt me but you."

In that exact moment, it felt like he had forgiven me all. All I've done and all the mistakes I will be doing in the future. I can't believe it... This is how it should always go, I think to myself. A heavy load falls off of my shoulder and I break into a smile. He is just so wise. I know that I have said that so many times but he is. And without a word he knows that I feel much better.

I spend the day at his place. I update my blog finally, apologizing for the hiatus and telling that I am really busy at the moment with very little free time. I haven't told my readers where I have moved or what I'm working on at the moment because I don't want to shout it out in the world. They will get to know in the future if everything goes well.

We sit and cuddle on the livingroom floor with a huge pile of pillows, watching dramas and other tv shows and eating ice cream. We play a round of a board game and talk about the future. He tells me how he's getting nervous about the America activities and how the people there will react to him, how his fans will react.
"It will go well," I smile. "You are already famous and loved. They can't get disappointed. And believe me, your true fans will love you no matter what. Just like I do."
"Are you my fan? My biggest fan?" Ji smiles. He shovels a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth and utters a shy laughter. It's funny how he avoided the fact that I accidently said that I love him.
"Dangyeonhaji," I grin.
"Gaah," he laughs and hugs me. I squeek, although I feel myself pretty happy.
"My Korean girlfriend," he whispers and kisses my cheek.
"Wow," I get surprised and press my palm against my wet cheek, blushing.
"Kyeopta..."

Notes

Teaser for chapter 16