letters never sent
without you
Letters to You
Jimin angst??¿¿
1:26am
Jimin, I’m here at the park where we shared our first kiss and our first date. It’s only been a couple hours since you left and 3 days since you’ve broken up with me. Do you miss me? I know I miss you a lot. I’m so lonely and heartbroken over you.
5:26am
You were the only exception, we both understood that neither of us wanted to date due to the fact girls were complicated and boys were too stupid. Yet somehow, we made it work and our parents approved. We were together for four years yet you ended it so suddenly even though you weren't acting strange at all.
~
3:26 am
I’m sorry. I kissed another guy. Taehyung dragged me out of bed and forced me to clean up and go to a party with him. I ended up getting wasted and I thought this guy looked like you. His kiss was nothing compared to your kisses. I felt passion and a burning desire, a true connection whenever I was with you. This guy was just gross and rough.
4:26 am
Jimin, oh my god I'm so sorry. I tried calling your phone just to hear your voice one more time but the line was cut off and I broke down in the middle of the road. I laid down there for god knows how long until a car would come and run over me but nothing came. Like how nothing good will ever come to me now.
6:26 am
I drank black coffee again, I’m sorry. I said I would stop for you but it's been three years and I missed the bitterness. It's bitter as you for not telling me sooner. I understand that you didn't want to hurt me but nothing hurts more than this.
7:26 am
My chest is constantly constricted, my heart is on drugs. It's going crazy. I’m going crazy. My heart beats so badly I feel as if it's ready to give out over this pain. My body has never felt so heavy as it feels right now. It physically hurts to get out of the bed we used to lay in. I reject every request and never open the door for anyone. I’m sorry for being such a little bitch even though I said I wouldn't ever be one over a dumb guy.
9:26 am
I want this pain to end.
~
12 pm
I've just been released from the hospital. It's been two weeks since you've left. I'm sorry, but for four days I have done nothing but cry, lay in bed, and felt nothing but pure hatred for myself and you. I finally fell asleep from exhaustion but I ended up having to go to the hospital for a reason I don't want to go into detail. But now I’m back to taking therapy for a while now and back to a heavier dosage of medication.
3 pm
I snook out of the house and took the car for a mission. Everything feels so foreign without you. My head is pounding and it's only filled with memories of us and how we would tease each other and just be best friends in the whole fucking world. I fucking miss you so much but I'm going to stay for you because that's what you want for me.
4 pm
The hill was Mount Everest to me, it took all my energy just to walk up it and find your grave.
I collapsed down on the grass in front of your headstone.
I screamed out all my agony. I haven't felt this much energy in a while but it seems as if I was saving it up for this.
People looked at me with pity but I didn't care because I pity myself also.
I'm crying over you and blaming everyone and myself especially.
I just wish that I never would have met you so I wouldn't have to ever feel this type of exhaustion again.
