Soulmate

3112 - day of coming of age graduation party
Gently, I placed my small hands on the wall before me; staring blankly at all the academic awards and achievements I received prior to my coming of age ceremony with my classmates.
I smiled bitterly at the floor as a warm tear fell from my eyes. Everything is happening so fast, I quickly wiped away the tear from my cheek as I took a deep long breath.
The world in my head that spun so fast slowed down to a good pace to where I could keep up.
Sitting down at my white desk, I began writing on a gray piece of paper, efficiently printing down ideas for the book I need to write if I want to become a succesful author.
My mind played back a vivid memory. I recollected my thoughts and emotions from when I was only fourteen years old.
It was the day the first half of the fourteen year olds had received their predetermined fate.
All my worries and fears dispersed into star dust as my name was called. Taking many small strides up the pure pristine stage.
A few encouraging words that left me feelings of incite and hopeful for my new studies in becoming a writer.
The ceremony lasted for a couple more hours yet it didn't feel like it was dragged on for an unnecessary amount of time.
Seeing everyone's face of relief and self accomplishment had brought a warm feeling to my heart.
I snapped myself out of my day dreams as I returned to the reality that everything is now.
I productively wrote down an entire page of ideas and scenarios I can include in my upcoming works before having to take a mental break.
I opened the hot water to let my bathtub fill up three quarters of the way. I climbed inside after playing exo on my small stereo and grabbing a bath bomb.
It's purpose to resemble the stars in the sky we see at night.
I became frustrated as I saw it calm down and all I saw was grey. Varying shades of gray.
Envy was deeply implanted in me when I heard my mother trying to explain the color pink to me. She told me about how much she liked that color.
She then procceeded to tell me that I had beautiful eyes. She told me about how it changes color in the sunlight and when I first wake up in the morning they resemble obsidian with a twinkle.
I did not see this.
Jealousy was a feeling I felt when I had heard my best friend met her soul mate and she realized how beautiful life is and that there was no need for her to be sad.
Science explains this phenomenon is so that it were to help you find your soul mate, to save you pain and trouble from finding the wrong people.
It might save me from that trouble, but the pain of not experiencing the true beauty of life is a burden too heavy to hold.
Just once, I would like to be able to explain in a brighter light.
But is seeing in color all that worth it?
Before I had even realized it, an hour has passed by and I drained the bathtub as I walked to my shower and washed myself off.
The cascade of warm water had eased my thoughts and I was put back into the mindset that life is truly wonderful.
I laid down in my towel for another hour until I was dry just watching documentaries of the world we could have lived in.
A world filled with so much hate, violence, fear, betrayal; all in all, a corrupted world where everyone was ruled over by a single item with no true value.
I found solace in the fact I was born into a society never having to experience it to the extent to where people fought over what is very simple to understand and not in any way at all demanding to resolve.
****
I slipped on my dark tights with a little struggle due to the fact I didn't have the smallest thighs and I was short for my average.
After slipping on my tights, I managed to fit my dress nicely for my body type. The dress was the same dark shade of the tights.
I applied my makeup as I was taught how to do so. The laziness washed over me and thinking ahead I had figured that when I reach home I wouldn't want to do anything but go straight to bed.
I used black eyeliner to create the most basic and simple design which was very thin and did not require much maintenance and I left after putting on slip on shoes and grabbing my shiny black heels.
The sun profusely shined on me, beating down my skin as I walked from the front door until I had already drove half a mile turning on the air conditioning all the way.
The cool icy air slid past my smooth arms as I kept my eyes peeled on the road. Gray cars passed along with the world until I had finally reached the place the party was held at.
I swiftly put on my heels after taking off my other pairs of shoes as soon as I turned off the engine of my car.
The air inside was intoxicating, the smell of weed, cigarettes and alcohol had taken over. The party had already started so early and it was already so crowded with people dancing everywhere.
I walked over to the bar as I had taken my phone out of my small purse and texted my best friend.
'Hey, I'm here already at the bar getting a drink. Where are you??'
'I'll come to you, plus I met a couple of people, I'll introduce you to them later.'
'I'm not interested.'
'Who said they were for you? Liven up a little Mel.'
"Bleh."
'Bleh, I see you!'
I took a long sip of my drink as I saw Jaylin running to me.
"Rude. You didn't come running to me?!"
She joked around as we met face to face.
"You were so small I couldn't see you."
I smirked at her waiting for her loud reaction.
"You're so mean to me!"
She yelled at me and we embraced in a long hug laughing it out.
"Come on, since you don't want to go out with anybody because you're too caught up in finding you're 'soul mate' let's just have some fun and meet new people."
"But I don't want too. ~" I whined while stomping my feet a little and purposely making myself heavier so that it was harder for her to drag me.
"Oh my gosh. I never said anything about hooking up."
"I didn't say anything about that either." I replied cooly while sticking my tongue at her.
We reached the second floor of the party and went through a door where I was greeted by Christina her girlfriend and a bunch of other people.
"Hey Christina!!!"
"Melissa calm down."
"You're so mean to meeee."
"Hush up and let me show you to my cousin and his friends."
She led me to a couple of guys sitting on the couch. There were about four of them.
"Melissa can introduce herself, I'm going to go off with Jaylin."
"CHRISTINA!" I yelled as I frantically reached for her arm, "please don't leave me." I whispered to her.
My eyes had gone gigantic and I felt my heart rate quicken as soon as she left me alone.
I turned around and did a small quick bow to the men in front of me.
They all stood up and I was soon towered over even though I was wearing heels. I looked up at them and nervously smiled.
"Hi. I'm Melissa, I'm eighteen years old and my career is being a writer."
I rushed my introductions quickly as they bowed down to me as well.
The guy on the farthest left went first.
"Hello, I am Jin, I am twenty years old and I am a trainee. He seemed to be very physically fit. Dark hair and dark eyes.
We shook hands and he seemed so nice.
"Hi! I'm Christina's cousin, Brian, I'm a producer."
He wasn't that tall. I would say he's about my height if I weren't wearing heels. He was pretty short compared to the other three men.
"Hi I'm Namjoon, I'm a trainee along with Jin and Yoongi but Yoongi and I focus on rapping."
He shook my right hand and it lasted for three seconds and it was a very firm handshake. His hands were a comforting warm.
The last man spoke up, I assumed his name is Yoongi considering of what Namjoon has said earlier.
"Hello, I'm Yoongi, I am nineteen and like Namjoon and Jin, I am also a trainee but as what Namjoon said, my main focus is on rapping.
He smiled at me softly and he shook my hand, his wand was terribly cold and I was relieved when the handshake was finally over. Yoongi had dark black hair and it was covered by a dark SnapBack with a bandana.
My hands are usually always warm so whenever a cool feeling comes, it's hard for me to handle.
They all sat back down except for Namjoon, he stayed standing up and walked with me to the bar helping me get drinks for everyone.
I didn't exactly think he was very attractive. I'' sure it was because of his hair, it was black and it was very curly standing up. It was basically a block of hair.
Other than that, he had nice physique and it was entertaining talking to him.
We got along very well even though I was very uncomfortable.
We talked about how we could have lived in another world.
Also, about how we were made out of stardust. And how it's really beautiful.
The alcohol had already done to my head but not to the point where I was stupid drunk, but drunk enough to feel warm and not to care how I looked like when I danced along with the crowd, feeling the music flow through me.
My feet ached and begged for comfort so I had said goodbye and had my greetings and congratulations to everyone who I was required to give my attention.
Namjoon and I exchanged numbers in hopes that we would be able to work together in the near future when he debuts as an idol.
I climbed inside my warm empty car as I slipped off my heels and wore my slip on shoes once again.
I turned on the engine and I turned on the autopilot to drive me home, thanking whoever made this idea, I leaned back in my chair as the car drove itself.
I stared at the dark grey sky and the light grey moon.
I watched as the dark trees passed by and gray houses with light grey lights.
I soon arrived home, my grey home.
I took all my belongings with me and I walked inside.
I undressed myself out of my dress and tights and putting everything where it belonged and I wore a giant shirt and shorts then got ready for bed.
I climbed inside the warm soft comfort and I stared around my room.
It was very dark and the only sources of light was light peeking out from my blinds from the lights in the city streets.
I counted the number in my head. One to one hundred fifty-six when I had suddenly thought of the events that had happened today.
My graduation party with people I don't even know went well and I even had the chance to meet new people I probably wouldn't ever want to meet but I did.
It's for the best I guess. I rolled over to my side right side and placed a pillow under my left leg, clutching another pillow in my left arm while my left arm was under a pillow supporting my head.
I started to count once again in my mind hoping to fall asleep.
After losing my place constantly, I had began to fall into a deep sleep.
That night I dreamt in color.
It wasn't a dream. But it was more of a nightmare.

Notes

melissa - 18 years old, for her career chosen by the council, she is a writer