You had gone home after an eventful Friday that began the night before with Mark’s sudden confession which you accepted. Spending the night together, you imagined it to be like a spring in the desert of your dry love life - the start of something you could commit to. He showed you sides of him you never knew existed, and just when you thought you loved all of it, he showed you the side you wished you never knew. Almost as if psychic, JR came to unintentionally relief you from all that dilemma, in the most fairytale-prince-charming ways, again. This time, you decided, he was worth your while.


"Jinyoung-ah,” you said, breaking away from the kiss. “Mianhe.”
He took your hand, “Wae-yo…?”
“For making you wait, and for …. just…. i’m just feeling sorry.” you thought back at the time you first met him again at the reunion and how he had gone on stage to say something significant about you, yet you didn’t hear it, and the time he took you out on a date that turned too cosy but you never gave him your answer for weeks…

True to his nature, he didn’t seem to mind, even though you knew how he must have felt, holding in his feelings and having lots of internal struggle.
“Don’t be such a sweetheart, my heart is gonna explode right now from being the happiest man on earth and you’re sorry for that? Yes, well I guess you should be.” JR said with such gentleness that only etched your guilt even more.

You told yourself you had to be good to him no matter what, or who, would come your way after tonight.
Your phone rang and it was Yugyeom. Seeing that you weren’t back, and the commotion that had risen from Mark panicking, he had to call.

YG: Noona! Where are you?
You: Uh Gyeomie ah, I just left the house for abit.
YG: I know and Mark is freaking out over you and he’s coming over right now? What’s happening?
You: (Puts your hand on your forehead) Urgh… it’s… a long story but, I really don’t want to see him now Gyeom, couldn’t you tell him I’ll call him tomorrow?
YG: Well, he’s arriving anytime soon and he sounded so desperate. He did something wrong didn’t he.
You: (Knows you shouldn’t incite YG’s noona-obsessive side) He’s probably having a hard time as well, just tell him i’m okay, and that I just need some time alone for now. Don’t worry kiddy I’m alright, and I’ll come home once he’s gone.
YG: Are you with someone else right now? Perhaps….
You: Hmm. Yes. I am.
YG: Is he safe to be with?
You: (Ponders. Looks over to JR who was just looking at the moving cars outside the window. Harmless, I guess.) Well….. Yea I think so.
YG: Why don’t you just take some time to think things through, afterall I can’t guarantee that Mark’s not going to keep coming. He’s here already.
You: Really? Gyeommie? Wow, you sound like an adult.
(Hears the door bell)
YG: Ok, there you go. I’ve got you covered, just make sure you rest well and come back tomorrow morning, I’ll be waiting for you. Love you.
You: I love you too.

Your Kid brother was the best thing you could ever ask for. At times like these, he was so dependable and protective, like a big brother you never had.
“Everything okay?” JR asked, as he turned his attention back to you.

“Well not really, I need a place to go tonight.” You sighed, watching and waiting, testing what he would say.

(Silence)
You looked at JR from the corner of your eye without turning your head to him to make sure he thought you weren’t looking. But he was just staring blankly in your direction, seemingly in deep thought.
“Ha. It’s okay maybe i’ll bunk in with one of my girlfriends.” you smiled and shrugged, buckling your seatbelt. “Do you think you can drop me off?” you asked.
“Huh? erm… just a moment.” JR seemed a little flustered, he turned and unlocked the door and got out, closing the door behind him.

“Mwo-yah….?” you wondered out loud. Straining to see what he was up to, you saw his silhouette pacing around the back of the car, his hands on his waist akimbo. You thought you saw him mumbling.

Getting out, you went to him.
“Jinyoung-ah, is there a problem?” the cars were zooming pass since you were stopped at the side of the main road.

“No! No… no problem… I.. I - I - I…..” he was stuttering and his ears were red again.

You laughed, he was really cute, and real.
“My ears are red again isn’t it?” he frowned and covered them, hating himself for that involuntary reaction that always gave him away.

You reached out and pulled his hands away and down to his side. Searching his eyes, you could see he was kinda blushing as well.
“Park Jin Young” you called out his full name, and he instinctively focused on you. “Are you by any chance having pervy thoughts?”

His eyes widened at once, “NO!!! I’m NOT!!!!” rapidly shaking the hairs out of his head and looking as frightful as a shocked rabbit.
You cocked your head to one side, indicating you were expecting to hear a reasonable answer for his sudden response.
He quickly diverted his gaze to the imaginary space around your hair and started rambling, “No, I was just wondering if you needed to stay overnight, if you wanted to … maybe like, you know, just, maybe chill at… like…”
You stopped him from moving and closed his head with your hands with a loud clap, and forced him to look at you to talk.
“At like my house.” he gulped and shut his eyes after the words rolled off his tongue.

“oh.” you said, in a low small response.

Before he could attempt at making his intentions look less suggestive, you said.
“Okay, let’s go!” and turned your back to return to the car, shutting the door and buckling yourself in. He just stood frozen, unable to believe what just whizzed by.

———————————————————————————-(JR’s house)
Opening the door, it was a house that was like no other. Unlike those you visited (JB, Mark… not trying to look loose here but that was the fact), it looked like he had spent a lot of time at home, fussing over every piece of furniture and display piece. It was a homely feeling with curtains, photos of him and other people, his loot from travels, his collections of miscellaneous stuff basically.
“Uh, let me get you a drink, just make yourself at home okay?” rushing to his kitchen, which was obviously more used than Mark’s. You could see that he was systematic to label everything by hand, like in an old school way.

In all honestly, you already knew he would be like this - flustered, over-worrying everything, having a mental marathon almost. But you had no intent to get overly cosy with him. Despite his usual bold advances, you already knew he was a gentleman at heart. You could tell from the way he didn’t try to kiss you, and of course, from the way he did when you stole that first kiss he had been waiting for. But then again, with a hot blooded man, you couldn’t always be 100% sure.
“Jinyoungie, could you just come and sit down instead of fussing around like a mother in law?” you sank into his sofa and folded your legs up.

Hurrying over with a drink for you, he quickly put it down at the coffee table in front of you and sat on the floor at your feet.
“YAH! What are you doing??” you screamed. “Get up!”

“No I wont.” he shook his head with a smirk.

“Yah, Park Jin Young! What’s with you?” you laughed in disbelief.

“I told myself that if ever, ever at all, I do bring my girl home, all I wanna do is to wait on her like a queen.” He smiled that cutesy eye smile with a silly face.

“No way I don’t believe this HAHAHAHAHA Jinyoung-ah, don’t do this, come on, get up and sit with me so I can……hug you!” you laughed and patted the spot beside you instead.

But he just shook his head and inched himself nearer and put his head on your lap, and smiled a content smile. You could only drop your jaw.
Gosh - how different was he from JB and Mark - looks like they weren’t so innocent afterall. This dude was seriously from outerspace. Never in your wildest imagination would you think a guy would rather sit by your feet than cuddle in the privacy of his own home.
“Jagi-yah……………….” he called out in a calm manner to you, for the first time.

“Uh?? Oh, yes?” you looked down at his face on your lap.

“I know what you’re thinking.” he said, with a glint of mischief in the corner of his eye, he paused, and continued, “Don’t keep testing me.”

It was your turn to gulp.
He said those words, while looking up at you, head still rested on your lap, with the same unwavering gaze that meant what he said, but this time with more seriousness, word for word, clearly.
You knew what he meant.
He didn’t need say more, neither did you, to ask or feign ignorance.
Holding his gaze for a while, you nodded.
“Ok.” You gave him a knowing smile and when he saw that, it was the chemistry of communicating without words, between two individuals, who knew could now read the minds of each other.
After handing you the drink, he got up.
“Ok your highness, let me now prepare your royal bath and your robe, while you rest in your chamber for the night.” he animatedly said, with a bow and backward steps to his room.

“Make sure I don’t catch a chill or it’s off with your head!” you played along and watched him go.
It was a sleepless night ahead even though you were comfortably tucked into his bed, while he slept on the couch outside. You couldn’t stop thinking about Mark.
Why? What was he thinking? Was he always that sort? But why now? of all times? All sorts of questions came to you and you weren’t sure if you wanted answers just yet. Was he just fooling around? Wouldn’t he had known better that it was friendship at stake? Just what was going on?
You took out your phone, and started going through the messages you ignored earlier, mentally replying to all of them.

Mark:
‘Baby, please. You need to hear me out. Trust me. It’s not what you think. Just call me, talk to me, don’t do this.’ - That’s what the guys always say.
‘Baby, I know I was wrong, I should have just said we were together but I didn’t know if that would make things worse for you at work, I know I shouldn’t have denied it but believe me, I didn’t mean it that way and I didn’t know things would get so big.’ - Ahhhh, you mean you didn’t know things would get to me, I think.

‘I was really just rushing through the day and all I could think of was to get home to see you, I swear. You need to believe me, babe, please. Just call me, I’ll be waiting for you at home until you call.’ - Then why didn’t you just say NO and shrug off the girls that were hung on you? I don’t buy that shit, Mark.

You felt that you weren’t ready to face Mark after seeing the messages at all. He was still adamant that his actions were justified even though he kept on saying he was wrong. The crux of the issue that sparked your anger wasn’t so much jealousy, but that in all your days of working with him, you never knew he had that side of a player. You felt lied to, and almost cheated, knowing that he might had intentionally hidden that side from you because he did like you. Even though you had feelings for him, it was a good thing nothing big happened that night and the damage emotionally was still manageable. It was painful since you both go way back as friends and the turning point was still fresh in your memory, you didn’t want to entertain those lovey dovey thoughts, for the exact reason that things would turn sour if it didn’t work out, and not just the friendship but the working relations built over the years would be ruined in an instant.
Mark definitely was serious about you, and you knew it. You were too, about him. As you closed your eyes, his face filled your mind, and the warmth of his embrace engulfed you. His smile, his raspy chuckle, and the touch of his kiss that you had come to be familiar with. You detested yourself that you remembered them so vividly.
It wasn’t fair that you were thinking of these things and there lay JR, just a distance away, holding himself back because he wanted things to go slow and give you the space you needed. It just wasn’t fair to him when he was just so good to you. You were being too much of a jerk if you kept thinking about Mark who let you down when it was the most important time.
You got out of the bed and tip toed to the sofa where JR was, comfortably asleep. You knelt by his side, unsure if he was a light sleeper or not.
JR was such a nice guy, he was just too nice. Perhaps because he had worked hard from nothing, to get to where he was, that he was more appreciative and humble about things. He learnt many things the hard way but never took it out on the people around him. But you felt more obligated and thankful, for what he did for you. You couldn’t bear to hurt him by leading him on too much when you weren’t fully sorted out yourself. Yet there he was, just sleeping peacefully in bliss.
You put your head at the empty spot of the sofa near his chest, and closed your eyes to rest. For some reason, the distance he kept from you, was strangely more comfortable. It made you approach him more easily, on your own time and pace. Perhaps that was a good thing, but for now, all you wanted, was silence

Notes