Gratefulness~ pt.3

I slept poorly and now I'm so tired that I'm not able to get up until 12. It's Wednesday.
I remember vaguely when Ji Yong woke up and told me that he would go to shoot a music video with Young Bae.
I crawl from under the sheets and do my morning routine. I decide to head to the gym because I have to stay in fit.

I push the button to the basement. The elevator stops at the third floor and a young good-looking couple steps in. The woman keeps an eye on me.
"Big Bang?" she eventually asks with French accent.
"You with Big Bang?" she makes hand gestures and points at me. I give her a little smile and nod.
"Oui."
"Ooh", she gasps. "I saw you in magazine."
The man laughs at his curious girlfriend.
"Me love Big Bang", she puts her hand on her chest. I smile and nod again.
Before the situation becomes any more akward, the elevator stops and we walk out. Their ways split and she follows me to the changing room and she still can't get her eyes off me. I have to change in the toilet.
Even inside the gym she stays near me like she was glued to me. She is not too pushy and actually she seems quite nice. We exchange a few words and I try to ask things about her but she keeps changing the subject back to me all the time

"Are you singer to?"
I shake my head and sit down on the bench. I get my towel to wipe sweat off my face.
"I'm a trainee."
She looks at me adoringly.
"YG? In YG?"
"Oui", I nod to this blond girl. She takes the lightest weights and does biceps in front of me.
"Wow", she gasps and I do it again.
"Fantastic baby", I flip my hair to the other side. She giggles.
"I be your fan", she promises.
"Great!" I collect my stuff and leave to my hotel room. How suffocating.

I sit alone in the livingroom. I lean against the back of the sofa and lay my chin down. Clouds have hidden the sun. A few rain drops dance down the window. I watch as the rain hits the buildings, washing away all the dust and liveliness. Suddenly everything looks so grey and sad.
I miss my home. I only left but the thought of travelling even further away feels bad.
"To Seoul", I whisper silently. "Far away from home."
From then on, my home is there. I work for my dream and get to know new people. I adapt the Korean nationality and language. I stay busy.

And at the same moment my brothers are waiting for the morning dawn when they wake up and can't hear mom stirring breakfast oatmeal in the kitchen anymore. When she doesn't hug for goodbye when they leave for school. When my brothers don't hear her giggling on phone with her childhood friend. When the walls echo emptiness and dirty dishes pile up in the sink. When mom is gone...

A tear rolls down my cheek. The door knob turns and I startle. I wipe the tear and turn around to see Daesung. He smiles and greets me cheerfully.
"Annyeong, Mineeha!"
I try to smile but I still feel a bit gloomy. He sees it. Daesung shakes his umberella, lays it against the wall and comes to sit next to me.

"Is everything ok? Do you miss your family?" he asks.
"How did you know?" I look at him surprised.
"I went through it myself", Daesung smiles.
"I miss my mom so much. I'm a horrible person", I sigh and look down.
"Why?" he asks kindly.
"She's dying. And I just left."
Daesung gets scared. He grabs my hand.
"Dying?" he repeats.
"Ung", I utter. "She has cancer."

I don't even notice when Ji Yong and Young Bae get inside. Ji comes to me smiling because of successful shoots and then notices that something's wrong.

"What's going on?"
Daesung tells them so that I don't have to and Ji Yong sits immediately near me and wraps his arms around me. I don't cry. I'm just ashamed. Now they know too how horrible person I am.
"And you still came with us?" I can feel Ji looking at me. I nod quietly. Ji hugs me thightly and I bury my head against his chest.
"You are so strong", he sighs instead of judging me. Daesung is still holding my hand and rubbing it.
"Thank you for being here for me", I whisper in turn.

Notes

I feel like I write boring chapters but there's still something happening in every one of them... Hmm. Well, this is a novel really.
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Teaser for chapter 13