Heart and Seoul

One night I got online to do research on different cancers. If Jungsoo's mother died from cancer maybe he could have some sort of heriditary disorder. I stared at the search engine trying to think of a word to search.
What cancer could she have died from? I thought to myself. I sighed and typed in cancer, and the usual cancers came up; breast cancer, lung cancer, and cervical cancer. Breast cancer is usually common I thought but it could be something totally different. I continued to browse some more around the Internet but it really didn't do anything for me since I have little info about the illness.
He said it was a minor illness, and maybe I'm just over reacting about it...my head started to hurt from staring at the LCD screen for so long so I closed my laptop and decided to not think nothing of it.
Crystal came in from the bathroom, "you ok over there?" she asked.
"yeah, I'm just worried about Jungsoo. He was in a hospital for a whole week because he has something that needs constant doctors care.."
She got quite trying to think of something to say, "well it can't be that bad if he's seeing a doctor right? Whatever he may have is obviously under control I would assume."
"you make a point, it just made me concerned when I touched his hand and it was freezing cold. Like abnormal cold,"
"maybe he has a disorder where his body temperature decreases?" she guessed.
I sighed, "I don't know....another thing that bothered me was when we were on our date he said he won't have the experience of being married. It confused me,"
"uhmmm is he gay?" she asked carefully.
"I don't think so....why would you think that?"
She shrugged, "well maybe he could of meant that he could never get married because it's illegal here? It's just a guess."
"I don't know.. Even if he was gay I would still be concerned for his health."
Crystal gave a small smile, "maybe you should of majored in psychology or nursing," she joked lightly.
I laughed, "I did want to be a therapist at first but I got bored of it,"
I turned to pick up my Nikon camera and ran a finger around its lens remembering what Jungsoo said about making memories. I smiled to myself thinking how fun it would be to make memories with Jungsoo.
Crystal turned to button the rest of her uniform shirt up, "well afternoon classes will start soon so get ready,"
I ran a hand over my sketchbook, "ok,"
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I sat in my drawing class with a bored look on my face I was pretty early to class so I was waiting for everyone else. I looked at the empty seat and instantly felt depressed, Jungsoo was M.I.A as usual. I sighed and pulled out my sketchbook to get ready for today's project. Soon people started to come in, I didn't really pay much attention until I heard a familiar voice come near.
"hey," said Jungsoo taking a seat next me.
"well hello stranger," I joked, "how have you been feeling?"
"pretty good, sorry I havent been here to help as much,"
I shook my head, "no it's ok. Your health comes first," I said softly.
He gave a small smile with a slight glint in his eyes, "thank you," he whispered, he looked down at my school bag and smiled when he saw my camera, "you remembered,"
I smiled back, "of course,"
"good because I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to my...Soul Garden,"
"Soul Garden?"
"yeah, it's a very special place to me. I'd love for you to see it,"
"sure, I accept your invite,"
He smiled again, I could even see the dimples in his cheek, "great, meet me in front of the library around 5:30"
My day suddenly became so much better now that Jungsoo was next to me.
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After the afternoon classes were done I walked down to the student lobby to meet up with Crystal to get our usual Cafe' snacks. I saw Siwon and Donghae come down the hall as well. Siwon stopped to look to look at me. "you," he said.
"yeah?"
"are you like a...good witch or something?"
I laughed, "what are you talking about?"
"Jungsoo is... Laughing more, and he's smiling so much! Can you believe he hung out with us one day?"
"uh, maybe he's just a happier person now?" I guessed.
"excuse Siwon, he's just happy to see a good friend come out of his depression." Donghae said.
"well there's nothing wrong with being excited," I said, then I thought of his mother, "but may I ask a question?"
"you may," said Donghae.
"his mother, do you know what cancer she died from?"
Siwon and Donghae looked at each other then looked at me. "Mrs. Park passed away from Leukemia I believe..." Donghae explained carefully.
"Oh my," I said as my heart fell, "did it carry over to Jungsoo?" I asked in a soft whisper.
"no. That I do know," Siwon said.
I felt a weight release from my chest, "well that's good,"
"well we must get going now," Donghae said, "nice talking to you,"
I gave a small smile and waved goodbye and continued to wait for Crystal.
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I walked to the school library to catch up with Jungsoo, he was standing at the front entrance dazing up at the sky. His gaze went to me when I came closer to him, he greeted me with a big welcoming smile. "Your here,"
"of course, told you I'll come," I said, "so wheres this.. Garden of yours?"
He took my hand, it was less cold than last time, "follow me,"
We walked along the gravel walkway of the campus to the very back of the school, I never realized how much land this campus had. He led me to this arched opening hidden behind the bush, past there I was greeted to a bright green scenery of grass and flowers. There was a small stream going down the middle where a small wooden bridge crossed over, over the bridge was a huge stone gazebo that was nicely covered with weeds growing along the pillars. This place was the perfect Zen Garden.
I stood and stared at its beauty amazing that I was standing is such a pure and sacred place. Jungoo tugged my arm and led me across the bridge and took me to the Gazebo.
"what do you think?" he asked with a smile.
"it's amazing,"
He looked out into the peaceful view,"yeah, it is. This is my mothers favorite place to talk,"
I looked up to the sky, "so this is Soul garden.."
"My mother named it," he said, "She was a big believe of having Heart and Soul. Because life is far to short to have hate and evil in your life..."
I got quiet and continued to listen to him.
"she was young to," he said, "only 42 and death took her away from me... After her death, I sort of got away from her words by avoiding my friends and always coming off as a mean person." then he looked at me, "then you came along and you made me realize that I need to end my old ways and live life happy..." then his voice became quieter almost inaudible, "even if i dont have much to live for..."
I bit my bottom lip not sure on what I should say or do. So I slowly placed my hands in his and gave him a small smile. He looked up to look at me and smiled back. No words needed to be exchanged, we shared this beautiful silence as our communication.
I circled my thumb on his hand, "you have a wonderful spirit.." I told him.
He gave a small laugh, "I have something else for you," he said turning around to show me a slightly bigger covered canvas.
My eyes widened as I took the canvas in my hands and gasped at the picture when I uncovered it. It was a colored drawing of a girl dressed in white holding a heart in the middle with doves flying above her. "is.. That me???" I asked breathlessly.
"yeah it is," he said.
I gasped again, "oh my... God, this....is amazing...stunning, beautiful!"I ran a hand down the smooth canvas it was just as detailed as his mothers picture, "you even got my freckles!"
He chuckled, "well I had to make it perfect right?"
I looked up at him and smiled then gave him a hug, "I love it,"
"still, no artist can replicate the beauty you carry,"
"d'aw, you don't have to say that.."
"but it's trueee,"
I laughed and playfully slapped his arm, "you're silly,"
"heh, but in all seriousness...I thank you for everything. You have no idea, I now have this urge to do the things I've always wanted to do before I close my eyes,"
"like a bucket list?"
He smiled, "yeah, a bucket list." he said, "like you Americans say.. You Only Live Once right?"
I laughed and rolled my eyes at the annoying overused phrase, "true but Drake made some think differently,"
"there's a lot I want to do; experience true love, visit an art museum, go to a theme park," then he gave a light chuckle, "envision of my dream marriage," he got quiet again, "Also, when i'm on my death bed I want to be surrounded by my loved ones and I want my soulmate to be by my side holding my hand as I take my last breath."
I swallowed and took a breath, that was a lot to take in, I held his hand and gave it a tight squeeze, "I may not fulfill all of those goals, but I would love to be the one to help you achieve them,"
It became quiet again, and the only sound that was heard was the flowing water of the creek, the sound of birds, and the smooth breeze that came by. "mother would be proud of me.." Jungsoo said.
I picked my camera up and ran a finger around the lens, "Let's get making some memories shall we?" I grinned as I quickly stole a snapshot of him.
He laughed, "no fair I wasn't ready!"
"that's the beauty of memories! It's always better when the person is caught off guard." I stole another shot and ran off laughing.
"oh you're cute," he teased as he chased after me.
We ran back and fourth in the green meadow until Jungsoo grabbed me from behind causing us to land into the soft grass. He was still holding onto me and both of us were giggling like little kids.
"gotcha," he laughed.
"fine fine you win this one!"
We both laid on our backs looking up at the sky. The clouds were big and fluffy today, Jungsoo pointed up and saw a cat.
"I thought that was a dog," I said.
"pffft, no way that's a cat!" he said, "what kinda artist eye do you have?" he teased.
"hey now, I have a good eye," I looked back up and pointed at a cloud that looked like a cruis ship, "now THATs having an artist eye?"
We both laughed and found more pictures In the sky. I placed my hands on my camera again and turned to Jungsoo. "this makes a good memory," I said to him, "we should add it to our collection,"
"yeah, we should,"
I turned the camera towards us and we both smiled as I pushed the shutter button. I turned it over to view the picture. "gosh Camille your pretty face takes over the photo" Jungsoo said.
I laughed, "does not! You're the photogenic one here!"
"not really, I'm just lucky," he said then he pointed at my camera, "may I?"
"sure," I handed it over to him.
He sat up and turned it on and played around with the buttons until he found what he wanted to do. He smiled and turned the camera to me, "say hiiii,"
I covered my face, "no turn recording mode off," I whined.
He laughed again pulled my hand away only to put the camera closer to my face, "show the world your pretty face!"
I covered my face again, "nooo!"
"this just in, the beautiful Camille Tate's doesn't want to show her face...and Jungsoo Park is a very sad man,"
I pulled my hands away, "no need to overdo it now,"
He laughed, "but it was true," he had the camera on my face, "now, tell us about yourself...what do you like?"
I tapped my finger on my lip, "um well first off I'm a foreign student from America and I came here to Seoul Korea to study art and earn my degree in photography... Annnnd I like food, art, and animals,"
Jungsoo grinned, "so tell us. What is your beauty secret???"
I laughed, "errm...sleeping in??"
"is that right?"
"yep it's right,"
He scooted next to me and aimed the camera at both of us, "I now declare this the beginning of our project. I'd like to call it the memory project." he announced into the camera before turning it off.
"memory project huh?" I smiled, "I like it."
"what should our next adventure be?" he asked.
"Art museum for sure."
Jungsoo placed his hands over mine, "then shall it be."

Notes