Heart and Seoul

One night I got on my computer to look up smore info on cold agglutinin disease. I've never herd of it and I want to know what to look for if anything happens to him. I typed into the search engine and clicked on the first link.
Cold agglutinin disease is an autoimmune disease characterized by the presence of high concentrations of circulating antibodies, usually IgM, directed against red blood cells.It is a form of autoimmune hemolytic anemia, specifically one in which antibodies only bind red blood cells at low body temperatures, typically 28-31°C.
Wow this is pretty serious, I thought to myself. I continued to read more about it and read up on the symptoms and treatment, but what really caught my eye was this:
There are two forms of cold agglutinin disease: 1-primary and 2-secondary. The primary form is by definition idiopathic, a disease for which no cause is known.
Secondary cold agglutinin disease is a result of an underlying condition.
In adults, this is typically due to a lymphoproliferative disease such as lymphoma and chronic lymphoid leukemia, or infection.
I gasped when I saw the words leukemia and lymphoma. His mother died from Leukiemia and Jungsoo could die from it to. I shook my head trying to get the thought out of my head. "think positive," I said to myself, "he's been going to a doctor so it has to be under control.."
I sighed and turned the computer off, I didn't want to read any more of it. I took my camera and looked through the pictures again. I smiled to myself at the silly fces we made, it gave me a warm feeling; a feeling of hope. "you'll get through this..." I whispered.
I turned it off and got ready to go to bed
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[Saturday]
I walked to the garden to see if I would find Jungsoo anywhere but I didn't see him. I walked around the gazebo a bit and he was no where in sight. I sighed and turned around to walk to the exit guessing he was at the doctor or something. Before I could leave I got tackled from behind.
"gotchaa!" sang Jungsoo.
"don't do thattt," I laughed, "you already worry me!"
He let go and smiled at me, "aw, I'm sorry." he said, "I got you something though,"
I smiled, "what's that," He moved a hand from behind his back and showed me a handful of yellow dandelions I laughed and accepted his thoughtful gift "awwww thank you," I said as I smelled them.
"cheesy I know," he said with a crooked smile.
"no it's not, it's really sweet,"'
"speaking of sweet, I was thinking we should get some ice cream"
My eyes widened, "I'd love to!!"
He grinned, "good, lets go,"
We went to his car and drove to this ice cream parlor not to far from the school. We went inside and I ordered a vanilla cone and Jungsoo got a chocolate cone.
"this is really good!" I said.
"yeah, they have amazing ice cream here!"
I took another lick of the frozen dessert, "so, what's our plan for today?"
I smiled at me, "well, the amusement park opens real soon," he said, "and I'd love to take you with me,"
"well of course I don't mind, I love roller coasters anyway!"
His smile widened, "awesome!"
We contined to talk and eat our ice cream then took a bunch more of pictures to add to our collection. Jungsoo took my camera again and had recorded me like he always do. And I covered my face like always.
"no need to be bashful anymore," Jungsoo chuckled.
"I don't like seeing records of myself,"
"oh you're fine," he teased as he turned the camera back off. "i was wondering, do you like scrap booking?"
"i like it, my grandma was the queen of scrap booking," I laughed.
He smiled, "cool because I was thinking if you can develope these pictures maybe we can scrap them. Togethor,"
I smiled at him, "I'd love to do that," I said, "I never made a scrap book for myself. I always wanted to do it,"
"well, let's add this to our goal list then,"
When we were finished we went back to his car and he took me to a nearby park. I placed my hand in his as we walked down the sidewalk. His hand started to feel a little cold but I just guessed it was from the ice cream, I tightened my grip Hopfully it will warm him up.
"it's pretty out today," I said while looking at the faded green trees.
"autum is almost here," he stated, "the leaves are slowly falling of the trees,"
"I like fall, it was always my favorite season," I said.
"yeah it's a pretty season, just not so keen with winter seasons," he said with a weak laugh.
I got quiet and slightly squeezed his hand, remembering all the symptoms I read online, "are you sure eating that cold ice cream was ok?" I asked with a concerned look.
"yeah it's not going to hurt me or anything,"
I gave a small smile, "just making sure,"
He playfully pulled my cheek, "you worry so much,"
I pulled away, "its only cause I care," I said.
He put his arm around me and pulled me close, "well I appreciate that,"
We hung out for a bit around the park, fed bread to a couple of ducks and even played on the swing set like to big kids. It was really fun to relive childhood moments.
Later that evening we were back at the campus. Jungsoo decided to walk me to the front door of my dorm making sure I made it in safely. But as we were walking I could here him panting a little heavy.
I slowed my pace, "are you ok?" I asked with concern.
He gave a weak smile, "it's nothing,"
I stopped and looked at him, "Jungsoo, this is serious. It's not 'nothing' you need to be careful..."
He sighed and looked at the ground, "I'm sorry.... I just want to spend as much time with you as I can,"
I gave him a hug, " don't strain yourself Jungsoo, I'll always be here for you," I smiled.
"I know but I want to spend my..." he started to cough and feel to his knees.
I got to my knees and placed my arms around him, "Jungsoo!!"
He tried to talk but only coughed some more. I stared to panic a little but I managed to kneel down beside him and feel his forehead, he was abnormally cold. I quickly took my small jacket off and covered it around him what little the jacket could. I held him close hoping that my body heat would help him a little. I frantically looked around hoping someone can call for help. I saw a few girls come out the dorm building and I frantically yelled for them to call an ambulance.
"please!" I wailed.
The girl quickly dialed the number and explained the situation to the operator. I tightened my grip around him as we waited, I could feel him chatter his teeth. "it's ok," I whispered as a tear ran down my face, "everything is going to be..ok," my voiced cracked.
I saw Siwon and Donghae come around the corner then ran to us when they saw the scene. "w-what happened?!" siwon asked.
"I-I don't know, we were walking and he stated to cough then he collapsed to the ground," I tried to explain.
Donghae kneeled on the other side of Jungsoo and placed his arm around him. "were here for you man," he whispered.
It took about five minutes for the ambulance to get here. I was to emotional to explain the paramedics what was going on so Siwon and Donghae explained for me. My heart dropped when they put Jungsoo on the stretcher, I wanted to get in with him and be by his side to hold his hand again. I stood hopelessly as the ambulance rang its siren and sped off out the campus. More and more students bagman to come out wondering what was all the commotion about, crystal ran to my side and asked what was going on.
"j-Jungsoo..." I said between tears, "he collapsed and I don't know whats going to happen to him,"
Crystal gave me a comforting hug, "im so sorry to hear that,"
I tugged on siwons arm, "can we go to the hospital?" I asked in a more begging tone, "I need to be by junsoo's side!"
He bit his lip with hesitation, "yeah, we can go out there,"
"I'll come with," Donghae said.
"is.. Is it ok I come to?" crystal asked.
"sure you're welcome to join,"
We all got into siwons car an he quickly drove to the hospital not caring about the speed limit.
"had this happen before?" I asked.
"like one time," Donghae answered, "it's been awhile since anything like this happened,"
I took a deep breath praying that he will be ok. Crystal comforted me by rubbing my back.
Please be ok Jungsoo.
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We ran into the lobby of the hospital and asked the receptionist where Jungsoo's room was located. She gave us a tired look and slowly flipped through her thick binder, her slowness was starting to irritate me.
"2nd floor in room 208," she said, "but only two people can go in,"
We all looked at each other figuring out how we were going to separate.
"Camille and Siwon should go," Donghae said, "crystal and I will wait here,"
We nodded and went to the elevator to get to the second floor. My heart began to rave again scared to what I might see tonight. We got to the 2nd floor and walked down the hall.
"should be down here," Siwon pointed down a hall.
We found room 208 and quietly opened the large door. I placed a hand over my mouth when I saw Jungsoo laying in the bed with his eyes closed hooked up to IV's and a beeping machine of some sort. I slowly went to his side and brushed his hair out of his face with my hand.
"Jungsoo..." I whispered,I took another deep breath and held my hand into his.
"he's sleeping," Siwon said, "which is a pretty good sign,"
I rubbed circled on His hand with my thumb, I wanted to be the first face he sees when he wakes up. About a few minutes later he scrunched his eyebrows together as if he was about to wake up.
I sat up in anticipation, "Jungsoo, are you ok?"
He slowly opened his eyes and fixed his gaze at me, he gave a weak crooked smile. "Camille," he spoke weakly, "you're still here,"
A tear ran down my face, "of course, I told I was right? Siwon is here as well, we couldn't bring Donghae and crystal though,"
He slowly turned to Siwon and gave a weak smile, "hey,"
Siwon have a small smile, "how ya feeling man?"
"better now that I've seen you guys," he said, then he looked at all the needles and wires he was hooked up to, "I really hate hospitals...."
I rubbed his arm, "i think everyone does," I told him, "what did the doctor say?"
He shrugged, "I don't really remember, something about cold weather and to be careful..."
"I told you to be more cautious!" I cried out.
"I did...guess I wasn't careful enough,"
"were just glad you're alive,"
Jungsoo took a small breath, "yeah, alive..." he said quietly.
A couple minutes later a doctor came in with a clipboard. "how ya feeling?" he asked.
"ok, just really weak.."
The man nodded his head, "I figured much, we've ran some tests through and we the cold agglutinin disease resulted in lymphoma..."
Both Siwon and I both gasped, "what does this mean?" I asked.
The doctor took his glasses off and sighed, "its more serious than we thought, but we want to keep him for a few mor nights so we can monitor him before it becomes worse,"
A worried look came to Jungsoo's face, "will I still be able to have visitors?"
"of course, only during the appropriate visiting hours,"
I squeezed his hand, "you'll get through this..."
He looked into my eyes, he looked so different without his glasses, "just promise me one thing," he said.
"what's that?"
"keep our memories alive,"

Notes