Heart and Seoul

It's been a long time now, finals was already here and the new semester was heading near quick. I was in my first class looking through the pictures on my camera of Jungsoo and I. I couldn't help but smile at how happy he looked in the pictures, they were real genuine smiles. We started to meet at the garden now on Saturdays, we used that day as our day to make memories and do whatever goal it was that we planned. This coming Saturday we're going to the art museum and I actually cannot wait.
I could feel someone looking over my shoulder so I turned and saw Siwon peeking over. "excuse you," I smiled.
He sat back and gave a faint blush, "s-sorry," he said, " the bright colorful pictures caught my attention,"
"all you have to do is ask to look," I said.
"sorry, I have a habit of not asking permission," he said with a crooked smile, "so...how has Jungsoo been?"
"great, he's opened up a lot more to me." then I turned in my seat to face him, "but I feel I'm missing important things about him, or is it to early for me to know?"
Siwon became slightly nervous, "no, it's nothing like that. It's just that I can't say certain things because he wants to tell you himself when he's ready to,"
I nodded my head, "seems fair enough."
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Later that evening I went to my dorm to call my parents, it took awhile to answer but my mom finally answered.
"hey sweetie," she said.
"hi mom, how are you?"
"good now that you called," she laughed, "how's school?"
"good, it's finals week,"
"ah well you work hard missy,"
I smiled, "I will, I also wanted to tell you about my friend Jungsoo,"
"ooooh, Jungsoo huh did he try to kiss you?!"
I giggled, "no mom, he's really nice. And he's different from the others. There's a lot he want to do in life and I'm going to help him,"
"hm, so like a bucket list?"
"yeah, exactly,"
"he's so young though," she said, "usually when people think that way it means they have a life threatening illness like cancer.."
I got quiet for a minute, "well, his mother died from Leukiemia.... And he said he Has a minor illness..."
It was my moms turn to get silent, "Camille baby, I'm glad you made a friend and I'm glad you want to help him but I just want to tell you to not get to attached to him. I mean this in a kind sense because if he has a terminal illness to where he wants to do things before he die you'll be full of grief if he ever passes and finding new relationships will be hard for you. I only say cause I care. I had a friend who was in the same situation, he passed away and she could never love again. So you be carful with that ok hun,"
"ok..." I said softly.
"I love you sweetie. Keep up the good work,"
I gave a weak smile, "love you to mom,"
I hung the phone up and sighed to myself, she did make a point but I really do care about Jungsoo and his feelings. I laid on my bed and put a pillow over my face. Why must life be so complicated?
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Saturday evening Jungsoo and I made it to the art museum like we promised. The building had an ancient feel to it but it was still stunning in its own way. We walked in and was greeted to a spacious room with paintings and sculptures everywhere.
"this place is so elegant," I said.
"yeah it's just like I imagined it would be," Jungsoo said, then he took my hand, "let's go look around!"
We walked around the first floor which was filled mostly with paintings and drawings. It was all amazing and beautiful, I fell in love with almost painting I saw. Especially a specific one that caught my eye.
"this one is colorful," I said.
"Beautiful Conversation is what it's called," Jungsoo said reading the sign.
"I wonder who the artist is..." I said softly.
"Seund Ja Rhee"
"I like it,"
"it is interesting to look at after you stare for so long,"
After seeing all of downstairs we made outlet way to the second floor that had the sculptors and 3D art. Everything was just as amazing as the first floor but what got my attention was a marble statue of a nude woman laying on what looks like a rock with her long hair covering her chest and a cover over her legs.
"she's so pretty..." I commented.
Jungsoo grinned, "it's ok I suppose," he said, "let's see what else is around," he said as he took my hand again.
We walked around the massive rooms for hours admiring and commenting on the art we found interesting. We decided to take a break at a bench before we did anything else.
"are you glad you came?" I asked him.
"yeah, this was fun, especially doing it with you,"
I smiled then saw a nearby painting hanging on a wall near us of a mother and father holding their children, "now THAT's a beautiful picture..." I said.
"yeah, it sure is,"
"do you want kids of your own?" I asked him.
"I'd like to, but I don't see it happening,"
I put my hand over his, "don't think that way," I told him, "you'd be a great dad and husband,"
He gave a small smile, "thanks, it's just...I don't think I'll have that,"
I got quiet then remembered his other goal in life, "we can still...visualize your dream wedding," I said with a shy smile.
He laughed, "I don't want to put you in a uncomfortable situation,"
"you're not. I mean I may not be your ideal type but I can pretend,"
"heh, sure you can do that," he said with a soft laugh then he looked at me, "but there's no need to pretend,"
My heart dropped, "o-oh...ok," I said with a nervous laugh.
"say, I know the perfect place to talk about this," he got up and took my hand and led me outside the museum.
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We were back at the campus and Jungsoo led me back to his Secret garden.
"why are we back here?" I asked.
He ignored my question and led me to the middle of the gazebo. "this may be to early but it's something I've been wondering for awhile," he said.
"what's that?"
He hesitated for a second but proceeded to take something out of his pocket and then kneeled on one knee. My eyes widened at his actions. Is he about to do what I think? "Camille, it may have only been so many months since we first met, but I was wondering if," he opened his palms to show what looked like a mood ring, "will you be my ideal wife?"
I could feel my face turned hot and reddened. I gasped at his proposal and couldn't find words to answer him by. I stammered then I thought of what my mom said about becoming to attached. I'd feel terrible if I hurt his feelings but I really do like him. Even if he may have a illness that could take him away any second I'd still love him, and as hard it would be for me to live on an love again I would be ok with it.
I took a deep breath to regain myself then I cleared my throat. I gave Jungsoo a big smile and accepted.
His eyes got wide, shocked by my answer, "r-really?"
I nodded, "yes,"
He stood up to give me a hug and a kiss then took my hand and looked at it, "may I?" he asked with a smile.
"yes,"
He placed the ring on my left ring finger, I held my hand out to look at it then laughed, "it's cute,"
He held his hand up to show his own ring that matched mines, "it's official," he said. A breeze blew a couple flower petals around us.
"your mother approves of me," I said.
"yes, she does," he said, then took my hand as we took a seat in the gazebo.
I laid my head on his shoulder, "so...now that we are 'engaged'" I laughed, "how should the wedding be?"
Jungsoo placed his arm around me, "something with silver,"
"ohhh, I like silver and maybe mix it with blue and a trim of black."
"that's different. I like it," We both closed our eyes and envisioned it, "I can see myself waiting at the end of the alter to see you in your beautiful white dress."
"Siwon and Crystal comes down the isle as our bridesmaid and groomsmen along with the rest," I added, "then the adorable flower girls scatter the petals to the floor,"
Jungsoo smiled, "then the music begins to play and everyone stands up as you in your extravagant white dress with your arms locked around your fathers come in,"
My face blushed, "and we slowly walk down the isle and I see the happy faces on our family and friends faces."
"then you come to my side to take out vows, we place the rings on each others fingers, and after the pastor says 'you may now kiss the bride' I place my hands on your face and give you kiss,"
I smiled, "then everyone cheers and applaud for us."
We both opened our eyes and Jungsoo ran a hand down my hair, "so after the reception where should our honeymoon be? It can be anywhere you like,"
"well I want you to like it to," I said.
"fair enough,"
I started to think of other places I've always wanted to go, "I'm not really into island places like Jamaica. Somewhere fun with decent weather..." I said, "ok this is cheesy but I was thinking Orlando Florida for a Disney world trip," I laughed.
Jungsoo chuckled and intertwined his hands with mines, "it's not cheesy at all, I love that idea. I dont like island places either,"
I smiled, "ok, so we travel to Disney world for our honeymoon to enjoy the theme park and nightlife,"
"would it be the place our first child is conceived?" he asked.
My face burned, "uhmm..."
He laughed, "i'm just messing with you, but let's fast forward a bit. We're married for 2 years now and were expecting our first child and find out its a boy, what would his name be?"
"hmm, Tae-song. Park Tae-song,"
"I like it." he said, "I've always wanted two kids a boy and girl, I want a boy first so he can protect his little sister,"
I smiled to myself, "I like the way you think...so about 4 years later we expect a baby girl, what name would you give her?"
"Kita," he said without thinking, "I love that name,"
"that's pretty,"
Jungsoo rubbed his hand on my shoulder, "we'd be a great family.." then he looked at me, "thank you for envisioning this with me,"
I ran a finger down his cheek, "no need to thank me," I smiled, "but I just want to know...what illness do you have exactly?"
He got quiet then took a breath, "last time I saw my doctor he said it was just cold agglutinin disease, and that everything should be ok as long as I check back constantly. Which becomes a nuisance after awhile,"
"but it's your health and it seems serious," I said, "but can you make me a promise?"
He looked into my eyes.
"think more positively. For your future and for me? Don't let the thought of death take over your mind so much. Life may be short but live it to its fullest,"
He gave a small smile and kissed me on the cheek, "I promise,"
I gave a slight tight grip on his hand as I felt my heart rise, "thank you,"

Notes