Unmasking Colors

Kai's warm breaths prickle against my skin, heavy enough to make my eyes jerk open. His heavy arms are wrapped around my tiny waist.

And I start to squirm- trying my best to break free of his lock. After a few minutes, I quit trying. His arm pulls my tiny body even closer to his, like I'm his human pillow.

"Let go of me," I grumble, clearly not expecting him to hear me. The grip around my waist grew tighter and tighter, to the point where I find myself breathing in his breaths, and suffocating.

Using my arms, I grab his shoulders and push him a meter away from me. But it doesn't work. Instead, I find myself staring at his blackheads, and a placid expression on his face.

Well, How am I going to sleep now?

"Let go of me," I croak, but no response is generated. One arm manages to break free, and I use it to smack his head. Still no response was generated. Being the irritatable and stubborn person I am, I attempt to use my words again.

"Get off of me!" I say half-whispering. His nose flinches but that's it. Curling my body into a small ball, I place my feet on his chest.

After a few huff's and puff's, a groan escapes me as I use all my energy from my Quadriceps to push him off me. His muscular body drops on the cold hardwood floor with a bang.

Trying not to laugh, I gnaw on my lower lip.
And guess what? He still sleeps like a dead log.

Even if you threw him off an airplane, he still wouldn't have woken up.
Nevertheless, I feel crummy for making him sleep on the floor. Only gentlemen's do that for ladies; he is clearly not a gentleman.

No, not in my perspective.

Soon, I hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing. Along with my consciousness slowly ebbing away.
~~~

The sound of Kai's distressful groans fill my ears. Rubbing my eyelids with my knuckles, I turn my attention to Kai-who is massaging his back muscles. I've never noticed how muscular his back was, it's almost jarring in my eyes.

"H-How did I end up here?" Kai whines, I hesitate to respond. "I-I uh, accidently kicked you off the bed." I mumble; he looks at me in bewilderment. Accidently is a lie, more like purposely; I wince at that thought.


"You're vigorously strong for a girl," He says sarcastically in disbelief.
"And you sleep like Sleeping Beauty." I snort in response.

"Wait- So you're telling me, I'm beautiful?" A wide and enormous smirk appears on Kai's face,
"No, you have blackheads on your nose, and you sleep like you're dead." I say rolling my eyes at him.

"You still have some explaining to do," Kai gives me a dirty look, gets up, and heads out of the bedroom door unexpectedly.
A thought rushes through my mind:
Did I possibly hurt his feelings?

Is he really sensitive like that? It's whimsical and mischievous in some sort of way.
I bury my face into the pillow; I should've just said sorry.
Now, I feel like an awful person.
~~~
Rolling myself all over the bed, the door clicks open.

"God, Put a shirt on! Kai! Would it kill you to knock before you enter?" I holler at him, immediately covering my eyes.

He's going way too fast, and I only met him yesterday night. Who knew a supposedly 'humble' Tacitus would be so sly and sneaky. Shame is what he should feel.

"Relax," Kai chortles, "You can open your enormous eyes now." I can't trust him. Instead, I jump out of my bed and use my sense of touch to get through the door.

Bumping into cabinets, my hand finally grips a doorknob. Once I get out of the room, I feel like I'm about about to throw a hissy fit.

But I surely can't because I'll suffer being locked up in the washroom for three days as a punishment. And I never want to go into that tiny bathroom ever again.

Forget it, I'm not saying sorry to a boy who is rude and yucky. I'm actually happy I kicked him off the bed- my bed.

~~~
"Hyacinth!" My mother chants my name out loudly, enough to make me wince.
Exiting the washroom with dripping wet hair, I scurry toward the dining room, pounding my feet heavily against the hardwood floor.

Wearing only an ordinary white t-shirt and a skirt that covers my kneecaps; an outfit that everyone wears on Wednesdays.

Jaeson enters the dining room, sits beside me, and nudges my elbow at least a few times. When my eyes fix as his face, his sneer is big and wide enough to swallow me whole. Teasing is encouraged here, but laughing or smiling too much is prohibited.

It’s paradoxical, right?

"I think you should see what's hanging on the refrigerator," Jaeson whispers. Mother's singing is usually loud enough to cover his whisper.

If Jaeson's sneer is this huge, there must be something extremely humiliating stuck to the refrigerator. I awkwardly stand up, taking air into my lungs, before taking a peak at the refrigerator.


Tacitus barely hang things on their refrigerator, they like to be neat. They say that decorations only make clean rooms look messier.

My eyes gape at a picture. Two bodies are facing each other, with arms wrapped around each other- my body and Kai's. My face and ears burn in denial. My tiny fingers curl into tight rock-shaped fists. Kai enters the kitchen, and approaches me.


"Why are you red-" He says before looking where I'm looking at.
"Oh. Oh" He says also in disapproval.

Jaeson clears his throat to purposely make the situation more awkward and uncomfortable. "Breakfast's ready!" Mother's voice snaps us away from the dilemma. We stiffly walk toward the dinner table -with Kai taking the seat facing me. I stare at plate, two slices of bread, four quail eggs, and one tiny piece of tofu.


"So, did you sleep well, Kai?" Jaeson says almost laughing, I eye Jaeson. Please, don't mention what I did- “Yes, I slept well." Kai responds giving me a cold glance. My eyes shuffle across the room avoiding everyone's inquisitive eyes.


"It's good to hear that," My father says peeking out of the morning newspaper. My mother is trying her best not to smile out of turn, but I could still see it through her straight face.
I finish breakfast stwitly and I head out of the door, not even waiting for Kai.

~~~
There are four entrances, each for the four Head-Commons. Each entrance has its own decoration according to their Head-Commons. I stand between the eye-blinding yellow door, and the black door with graffiti sprayed all over it.

And then there's the Tacitus door, it's only white and nothing else. In front of me are channels and channels of people waiting to get it. We only go through these doors every three weeks for security checks.

Otherwise there is only one door people exit and enter from in this Institution. This process usually takes approximately three hours, that is why I came early today.

Usually I'm late.

My mind clicks and I frantically rummage through my backpack to look for the things that I'm not supposed to have. Things that are forbidden for a person like me to have, especially if I belong to a group that means the world to me -to my family.


A shiver shakes me as my fingers touch the edges of a book.
I could already feel the barrel of the gun against my head.

Beads of sweat slide down my neck, as I hectically think of a solution. Two palms slam against my shoulders, making me produce a hiccup. I cover my mouth, but the drive of my hiccups still makes me jump.

Still hiccuping, I turn around to see who it was. Dressed in a white and grey sweater vest, and a pair of white slacks, Jongdae and Baekhyun look like they actually belong in my Head-Commons- like they're a entirely different person.

It's eccentric how they fit in so easily.
How they can easily be something they're not.

At the same time, how difficult it must be to pretend. But aren't they scared of getting caught? If they get caught they should know that there's no point in running away.

And running away is always the option I take, when it comes to making decisions. They know the consequences but they do it anyway? Or do they do for the thrill of the fall? The lump in my throat disappears.


"What are you doing here -hic-" I say accompanied by a hiccup, "We just wanted to try." Jongdae claps amusingly. "You sound like an ecstatic seal." Baekhyun sarcastically says, and soon everyone's narrow eyes turn to both of them.

Insults are a huge dishonor-burden. Especially in a Head-Commons that doesn't encourage much communicating.

But it's not even an insult, it was just plain teasing.
Both of them cover their faces and bow several times murmuring 'sorry', a smile smile appears on my face watching them do so.


"Hey, you're pretty good at this." I grin, Jongdae quirks an eyebrow in response. For a few minutes, I forget about the book that's hidden in my bag and the dangers associated with it.

"Do you guys really have to be all humble? I feel like I'm going to vomit." Baekhyun sticks his tongue out, I smile in response.


"Well if your going to act this way, you better get used to it." I say.
"Oh, God. Bowing to everyone hurts my back muscles." Jongdae muscles.

"Just wait until relatives visits your home." I snort, Baekhyun and Jongdae exchanges looks. "Way too polite." Baekhyun shakes his head. "I think we have to go." Baekhyun gestures a wave, dragging Jongdae with him.

"Wait!" I blurt out.

They give me a glance of bewilderment; slowly approach me, keeping the look of confusion on their faces.

"What?" Jongdae says, I grip his sweater vest and pull him closer to my body. "Take my book. I'll be dead if they find out," Jongdae looks around and stretches his hand out. "I gotcha back," I place the book in his hand and he immediately stuffs it in his shoulder bag.

A tingling sensation runs through my body starting from the tips of my fingers through my toes. Soon, both of them disappear into the crowd; blending in easily.


I get to the door, and a woman wearing a white uniform start examining my body feeling my arms, shoulders, and legs. I avoid her eyes, looking at them might provoke her.


Instead, I fix my eyes on the gun that's tightly placed on her waist belt.
"You’re free to go." She sounds hesitant, but I continue on anyway.

~~~
My eyes shuffle back and forth at various people around me. It wasn't long before I noticed that someone was following me-rather a group was following me. Quickening my pace, I try to escape the sound of the clicking and clacking behind me.

Inhale, Exhale. Hands clasp against my mouth and my abdomen.
My stomach churns and I start to agitate.

Screaming wouldn't work, but I do it anyway. Inaudible muffles are what I produce instead of a deafening scream. Gasping for air, my vision turns hazy, and eventually my body starts to loosen up.

I don't remember anything after that.

The tiled-floor is cold against my body, and I feel a sharp pain on the left side of my body.
I am in a janitor's closet.

A girl with the same hair color as me helps me up.
"The ugly Barbie - wannabe- has woken up," I am attacked by an insult, right off the bat. Tao and his friends laugh in chorus. Without hesitation, I immediately find the door and grip its knob.

"What? Are you too cowardly to face us?" Tao snorts, As I start to turn the knob, he grabs my arm and yanks it away from it.

"Cowardice is when you're attempting to hurt a girl like me." I retort. Tao's face turns red. His friends start laughing to cover up the brave sentence I just said.

"What are you going to hit me?" I say before he can respond; Tao chortles loudly like I just encouraged him even more.

"They say actions speak louder than words and that's wrong. Words speak louder than actions. Hitting might hurt you physically, but insulting you doesn't only hurt physically but emotionally and mentally too." Tao smirks.



"Is that all you can do?" My hands grip the doorknob again.

"Is that all you can do? You-and-me, we're both at the same level. When you’re busy trying to make me look like a fool, you also make yourself look like a fool.

You know why?
Because I'm not a Tacitus try-hard who wants to be all peaceful, humble, and kind, and perfect.

I'm not that try-hard who thinks staring at my shoes would solve every problem that I have. I'm not that idiot who walks around acting weak, and useless. I'm not that idiot who stares at people, and thinking they're also perfect and free.


What? Does your mother spank you every night because she thinks you're not perfect enough?
If you think I'm being cowardly, you're being just as cowardly for doing the pathetic habits you always do. "

His harsh words hit me like a brick wall. He knows where and how to hit people hard, hard enough to make them breakdown. Those specific words echo in my head again and again. I have no other choice but to keep my sobs in.

A mixture of anger and sadness infects my body. Keeping still, I don't bother to wipe the tears; they end up on the white tiled floor.

Tao and his friends exit the Janitor's closet, shoving me in different directions. I am left. Don't listen to those words. But it’s difficult to ignore them especially if they are in fact true. I heave out heavy breaths before wiping the excess tears from my face.

Turning the knob, I head out of the closet, glance at my rusted watch, and I hastily walk to class.

Along the way someone taps my shoulder, looking to my right: Kai and Sehun have a worried expression on their faces.

"Are you okay?",
"I'm fine" I fake a smile.

Notes

Author's Note: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long TTT____TTT Thank you for your supportive comments. Unlike the readers on coughaffcouch they subscribe but I don't even know if they're reading -.-I just needed that extra boost. I hope you like this chappie! Enjoy~
Btw, I got braces. I'm an official nerd.