Unmasking Colors

Foolishly crying because of a simple reason; I might be exaggerating. During these past few days, everything went normal again. I was back to breathing in smug and eating canned Sardines. I haven't seen them in the hallways yet, and almost every day I hope it would happen. It hurts to keep words in. I don't know how I do it.

I must have a strong will.

I fix my eyes on the other side of the classroom. It was rowdy and I hated it. The people on the other side of the classroom were wearing bright colored garments. It hurts my eyes and- even worse it had reminded me of Suho and Jongdae.


"Can anyone tell me the 3 things our society lives on?" The teacher asks us a question. A boy immediately stands up and yells with all his might. "Head Commons, Rules, and the Aberrant!” everyone glares at him including me. He must've forgotten the rules, and then I think to myself.

Rules aren't forgotten, the person itself just chooses to disobey them.

Within a few minutes of silence, I could see the tears dropping down his frail face. The teacher escorts him out of the room.

She comes back in; she scans the room looking for someone who can answer the question. Her eyes plant into mine. "Hyacinth," She says. Before speaking I gulp down my saliva.


"Our society lives on...The 4 Head Commons, The Rules that every one of us must follow in other to live a better life, and our imprints." Even though I just said it, I don't believe it to be true.


Yes, the head-Commons, the rules, and the imprints are a part of society. But I'm starting to think it's not just that, it’s the people itself. I feel my imprint burning against my neck. Thinking too much must be the reason why it shocks me.


The teacher dismisses us and I find myself staring at the people at the cafeteria- which is also divided, but this time into four sections.

A boy with tight pants and plenty of eye-liner on his face blocks my walking path. He was taller than I am, and I sure wasn't scared. I know his name.

"What's up with your tacky sweatshirts, huh?" He spits out words, I don't speak I just start to move. He stops me, "Look at me when I'm talking to you." he says like how my parents scold me.

I let out a short breath, turning my attention to him. I look up, pretending that my eyes can shoot lasers at his and hopefully make them explode. "Excuse me," I grumble trying to avoid conflict.

"Look at this, goody-goody" He chortles; I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I tell myself to not scoop down to his level. "Why can't you just admit it?", "Admit what?" I say. "Admit that Reckhettus should be above you." He sneers, by you he means the Tacitus people.


Everyone turns their attention to us. "Zitao, if you have nothing else to do, please move." I mutter straight at him. "Coward!" He yells so that the whole cafeteria hears. That's it, I'm done. At any moment, and at any given time I'm going to go haywire.


A small smile rises upon my face. "Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?" I'm fighting back, "No? I suppose you do that ALL of the times because you try to be all humble, and silent, and weak." says Zitao -he's clearly trying to mock me.


I freeze at the word 'weak', I absolutely loathe it when someone underestimates my Head-Commons as a weak one. "No, I'm just saying, have you seen how ridiculous you look? Have you ever seen yourself acting all ridiculous just like in this situation?" I say feeling triumphant.


"If you have the courage to insult the people on top of you, then you're weaker than what you redeem yourself to be." I say walking forward, but he stops me.

He must be angered by my word play. I could see that he has trouble responding to my statement. I jolt my shoulder away before he could say another word.


I head to the wash room. It's the only place that doesn't have surveillance cameras lurking around, but there's one problem: It monitors how long you use the wash room. If you take too long, they'll suspect you're betraying the common rules.

I quickly go into a stall.
Setting my timer for a maximum five minutes, I take out my book and start reading as fast as I can; skimming through the pages with my index finger. I abruptly stop in the middle of the chapter.


Inserting my palm into my back pocket, I find my wallet and I open it. I unzip an unknown pocket in my wallet and took out the five pictures I took less than a week ago.


I stare at the five boys in the picture, and of course, myself. Sometimes I wonder if it's really me in the five pictures, I never looked at myself at that point of view. We barely take photographs; we only make exceptions for family photos. My watch clicks and I slip it back into my back pocket.

As I enter the cafeteria, I manage to catch a glimpse of Jongdae and Suho - who is also smiling at me. Delstaticus people all look so happy and joyful with their little ukuleles. Everyone has their regrets. They can't do anything about it.


Their life has already been chosen for them. Heading home, I board the bus and look for the sign: 'Tacitus' and immediately took the seat. And only that seat. Everyone on the bus was Oblivious; there were all wearing fancy dresses. -Well, most of them. They all were staring at me.

Maybe it's because of my tacky grey sweater vest and my long black shirt. My plum mother stands in front of our gate and lets me in.

I bow ninety-degrees as a sign of respect. I feel a slap against my cheek making my face jerk to its side. I place my hand over my cheek looking at my mother. I start to cry, "I heard you got into another fight." says Mother in an intimidating tone that makes me weep.


It wasn't a 'fight', it was simply word play.
I was just protecting myself, I did nothing wrong.


The tears do not stop falling down my unattractive face. "Hyacinth, you're giving us such a bad reputation and I shall not stand here and not discipline you. You know much better than arguing with another Head-Commons.

You know that you should avoid conflict at all times and stay quiet." She presses her whole palm against my head and pushes it violently back.

I am now sobbing loudly. "I do not want this to happen again. Do you understand!?" She says. My mother smacks my back with her palm. I stand still as she walks forward and notices Jaeson.

Jaeson runs to me, embracing me with a hug. His warmth is jarring. My cheeks are now dry with no new tears wetting them. Jaeson lets go of me and enters the house. And so does mother.

I sit quietly in the kitchen, doing some self-reflection. Jaeson enters the kitchen. "So, is there any news Jae?" Mother purses her lips. "The Capitol is holding another PHCT, and this year they intended to do a triathlon completion too." Jaeson's words were wobbly.

Each Head Commons has a Capitol; there is no one government ruling this society. Each capitol just takes responsibility for different departments. I try not to moan, but a silent high-pitch squeak comes from my mouth.

I cover my mouth immediately. I could see my mother and my brother holding their laughs in. Three of us ate dinner in silence, like what the rules and regulations say.

I open my drawer and search for my damaged ukulele underneath a pile of clothes. Long Story- short; I found it in one of the Delstaticus's garbage can. I put on a pair of white sweatpants. I'm not supposed to seek attention.

It was finally Tuesday; this was the only time we (Tacitus) get to circulate the city. But the only thing I love doing is running away to a nearby forest.

The forest was quite far away from the center of our society, and no one even bothers to lurk inside it. I find the tree I always sit at and took out my ukulele. I look around to make sure no one sees me.

When the coast is clear I start singing.

“Imagine all the people. Living for today; you many say I'm a dreamer;
But I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world would be as one."


I ended the song. I let out a heavy sign. "That's a nice song you've got there." I hear someone whisper. I am horrified. I sit still in horrid. My imprint stabs me in the back of my neck. "You're imprint is resisting your abnormal characteristics." I hear that mysterious whisper again.


Is this my head talking to me? A boy comes out of the shadows. His face was familiar and unbearably handsome. The Snobby Rich Kid: Baekhyun has arrived. "It’s nice to see you, Baekhyun." My lips smile.

I stay remotely silent after saying Baekhyun's name. I've always been too told to ignore whatever's around me. Baekhyun sits beside me.


"What's up Tacitus?" His hand comes out of his baggy pants and toward my body. I stare quizzically at it. What is he trying to make me do? I think. His hands were shaking; I was still quizzically looking at it.

Just before I was about to grab it he jerks it back into his pocket. "Sorry. I forgot; Tacitus don’t shake hands with other people." He lets out an airy laugh then rubs his head. Is that what they called it? Shaking hands?


I try not to smile; but I smile anyway. "Uhm, are you supposed to smile out of turn?" He looks at me quizzically like how I did when he let out his hand. I stop smiling. My lips turn into a firm, straight line. He starts the conversation, now I can finally say what I want to say.


"How's life?" I say, "That's really amazing, the word play thing you've done." Baekhyun rubs the back of his head. I snort, "Yeah, I got scolded by my mother and slapped because I did the word play." I let out a chuckle as if I wasn't really hurt with the words my mother had spat at me.


I start playing my ukulele. "You shouldn't be hit, you should get praised." says Baekhyun. "Yeah, but I'm technically disobeyed some rules." I sigh. "It's unfair." He pouts like a child,


"Deal with it, Life is always unfair. And we can't change the way it is." I squeeze my fists,

"I wish we can rewind time and do the 2-day vent again." Baekhyun shrugs,
"Don't be stupid, Baek. Some wishes never come true." I retort.
"That's only if you don't reach for them." He adds.


I hate to admit it, but he is in fact true. I have a feeling I cannot trust him. But I already do. I stare at my rusted-grey watch. 1 more hour before the capitol guards will check every single Tacitus house, to make sure every single family member is there. Waving my hands at Baekhyun, I head home disclosing my ukulele from sight.


It's difficult to focus on the lesson when the other side of the room is having a party. You might think that what I'm saying is just a metaphor but it's actually happening right now.

We are stuck with the Reckhettus. The Principal of Both our Head Commons enter at our class. “Today, we have a very special announcement." I cold shudder goes through my spine.

Every time this happens, the outcome is always atrocious. "As you may have heard; the 4 Capitol's have decided to do another PHCT competition." The Principal of our Head-Commons says annunciating ever single word.

I knew that this was going to happen.


"But this time; it's not just the assessment we're going to give you." Something in her voice made me cringe. The Reckhettus's principal talked like a military officer. It is like she is screaming to someone who is standing at the opposite side of a cliff. I have never experience people talking to me in this kind of way.


"We're going to test your mental and physical as well.” The Reckhettus starts cheering. Of Course, they think they're daredevils. But the truth is there is more fear in them than bravery. If they are brave, they would've started protesting against our society.
But did they? No they did not.

They just stood there, wearing their black leather jackets and eyeliner looking all tough. But that's what they're good at. "After looking at all of your results; we will tell you if you deserve to live or not." My eyes widen.


The phrase 'if you deserve to live or not' sounded like they were threatening us by death. The punishment is death. I start to think. We were all thinking the same thing. More rules.
There's more, I think hysterically.

"You're name will be put into a transparent box. Your name will be put in the box according to your year. And we will double that number.” The room was deadly silent. I no longer hear the cheering of the Reckhettus's.


"There is no forfeiting, nor showing cowardice attitude.", "You all will start with 1,000 points, and that will deduct every time you show a characteristic that is foreign to your Head-Commons.", "If you cheat, we will have the right to kill you."


But, only the 4 Head-Commons will participate? What about the Drudges and the Aberrant? They're part of society too. "You may ask questions and put them into the box." My hand starts to sweat. I really want to ask a question, but what if this is part of the test. They passed out a small slip of paper.


"This is required." I hear them say. I start writing down a question, and so do the rest of the Tacitus/Reckhettus. I write down a very daring question.

But it’s worth a try.

The first question the principal took out from the box was surprisingly mine. "What about the Drudges and the Aberrant? They're part of the society too." The principal sneers after reading my question; which she does not know.


"Yes, there are parts of our society. But they are the undesirables. Why bother letting them join? They're just going to ruin the fun." A selfish smile jerks upon the principal's ragged face. She took out another question,

"How many people will have the chance to die?" Her face glooms. "Well-Well, It can vary. But to be more specific, at least 2 people from every Head-Commons. Including 2 or 3 Drudges/Aberrant," Her voice cracks.

I wanted to make a sound, but I'm not supposed to. 10 people will suffer. 10 people will die. And that could be ME. Before both of the principals exit the room, we are told to recite our own Head-Common's Strophe. I put my hand on the left-side of my chest; Trying my best to breathe normally.


It doesn't even matter if I get killed, I'd rather get killed than hide my true self. But I've been doing that since I was born. I stop saying the strophe because I do not believe in it. It was when the Principal of Our Head Commons started to scan the room; I started to say it again.

“I am a Tacitus. I shall be polite to everyone and everything.
I shall not do things at the appropriate times.
I shall ignore everything around me and focus on what truly matters.
I shall follow the path that was imprinted in me.
I shall not ask for more of what I have.
I am aloof, reticent, and honest. Nothing else,
I will live a simple, humble life.
I am a Tacitus."

Notes

Hey Guys. I hope your liking it so far!
Everything's back to normal TT__TT I've never got slapped, and I don't want to get slapped.
So please enjoy.