Commitment is a very easy word to understand. But, it might be difficult for people to follow. I'm one of those people who have trouble being dedicated. In which, commitment is a virtue a Tacitus must have.

I fix my wandering eyes at the boy in whom I met yesterday at the bus. I don't know why, it just happens. The way he acted was awfully strange. And it kind of reminded me of myself- and how I don't fit in. He sat at the very edge of his seat. He doesn't smile; he just stares off into the galaxy.


My eyes suddenly look away as he stares at me right back.

My heart is pounding. My hands are sweating. I scold myself mentally. It's impossible for me to have feelings for anyone. Because you can't find love here; they find it for you. In which you have to force yourself. I realize today is the day we go to our counselors.


They're not the regular counselors you go to everyday. One hour in the counselor room could mean one hour of torture. Everyone loathes it. Privacy doesn't exist when you're in the counselor's office- Privacy doesn't exist anywhere in this society.


It's even worse than the examination tests.


To be honest, no one really knows what's going to happen in the office this year; they change things every year. We enter a theater that had as many seats as the amount of students attending the school.

A male enters the stage; he is wearing black jeans, and half of a tuxedo.
He clears his throat, getting ready to speak. "Today, you will have counselor visits. A few days from now, we will be celebrating this society's 200th birthday..."

He pauses and waits for a round of applause. The whole stadium fills with clapping.

"We will remind you again, that this society has been preserved for 200 years. We are lucky that we are still living.


We are lucky to be the only species of Homo sapiens still living. 200 years ago, our world became a disaster. People like us managed to remain living; therefore we shall have an exceptional event.


We will bend the rules during this event. It will be a 2-day and 1-night event. In this event we will allow you communicate with the other Head-Commons..."

Everyone's jaw drops, even mine. Never did anyone think they would get to interact with someone who isn't equivalent to them. The whole crowd was dead silent.


"We will also allow you to learn the ways of the other Head-Commons. We will allow you to act the characteristics of other Head-Commons. Learn other's virtues; learn what it's like to live in another Head-Commons." My heart was racing. I am eager and excited. I cannot wait a few days from now. I want it to happen right now.

"But, at the end of the event. You will have to have another examination test and another counselor visit. After this event, you will forget what you learned. Forget the people you have met and befriended. Forget the characteristics and virtues. Forget everything, and focus on yourself.


Focus on being equivalent to your Head-Commons. This is the only exception.

And if you do show that you are not being equivalent. We have the right to kill you."



My eyes widen. That’s what they do best, threatening us. But I don't get the point of the event then. Why bother? When at the end you're supposed to forget everything. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. If I speak, all of us might lose this opportunity. The man in the stage clears his throat and dismisses us for our counselor visits.


There are 4 counselors for 4 Head-Commons.
It makes sense, but they replace the counselors every year. I quickly scan the crowd looking for a specific someone. I miss a step on the stairs and I trip forward. My imprint's killing me softly.


I fall on top of a Delstaticus wearing a blue t-shirt. I quickly stand up. He didn't fall down. I just happen to land on his back. I face the floor, "I'm sorry." I say. His voice was low, "its alright." he says. I look up and I know his name. He's the base of gossip here in the school.

His name is Kris Wu.


I quickly find the crowd of Tacitus again. We form a straight line and head out of the theater. My cheeks are probably red right now.

I gnaw on my lower lip out of embarrassment. We enter another meeting room. But this time, only the people from my Head-Commons are here.
They call as alphabetically by first name.


A lady is a white dress goes up into the stage and calls one name at a time. As time passes by my hands are shaking. Every word that comes out of her mouth becomes unclear.

I keep gnawing on my lower lip. I see the last Tacitus come out of the room; she was shaking.
She was rubbing her arms with her hands. Tears are coming out of her eyes. This is indeed very rare.


People living here don't usually show an expression like crying.


They always keep it to their selves. She was being carried out. I inhale deeply as I try to calm myself down. I hear screams from the counselor's room. “Hyacinth Park " My stomach wrenches.

I stand up and the escorts lead me to the room in the corner of the meeting room.
As I enter the room, there is a suspicious aroma. The woman smiles at me. I say nothing, I remain dead silent.

She gestures for me to lie down on the examination table. "I want you to stay calm. I want you to show me as much as you can." She says faintly, as I open my mouth to speak, gas enters the room.

I find myself closing my eyelids.

My eyes pop open and I am looking at another me. "You know you want to." The other I spoke. I answer back, "I know you want to show who you truly are." She says again. I gulp down my saliva. I say nothing. "Why are you so afraid? You're a Tacitus, you should live carefree. Isn't that right?" I see myself smirk at me.


She's trying to mock me- she's trying to taunt me.


I give her a smile and I say nothing. Her face turns dark like she is furious at me. Her face rips in half and I let out a deafening scream. I end up in a reclined chair and I was stuck to it. I look around and my family was surrounding me- all 4 of them.

My bother approaches me.

He laughs a little, "You really thought you could get away with it?" His voice sends shivers through my body. My whole entire family displayed a look of disapproval. "I can't believe you." My mother starts crying. I do too.


My sister approaches me and she gives me a rough slap. After that slap, I see my family disappear into the darkness.
My heart was withering. I felt I was going to rot inside out.


I suddenly awoke, and I hear footsteps coming towards me. For some reason, my body starts to run. My mind goes frantic. I can't control it. My feet take me to a lake. My teeth were chattering.

I see a crowd of people holding guns and other weapons. My mind goes blank.
The crowd of people draws closer and closer to me. I turn my back and I dip my toe into the water. My whole body trembles.

I turn to face the crowd. I turn to face the guns. It is way better than drowning. More than 6 gunshots are fired; I get shot 6 times. I lay on the rough terrain. This isn't real, but it feels real.


I've always wondered how people would feel when a bullet hits their body, now I know.
And I don't want to feel this type of pain ever again.


Tears rush down my cheeks falling on the terrain. As I close my eyes for a few seconds I find myself under water. The oxygen is running out of my lungs and I start to panic. I try to swim up to the surface, but something was keeping me from doing it.


My fingers are getting bloated, as I struggle to get out of the water. It seems like the surface is going farther than it usually is. I had no more energy left. I was going to die. But how come I didn't die when I got shot six times? I wake up gasping for air in the examination table.

Good, it’s over; I sign in relief.

But I was wrong.


I stand up and start to wander around. I enter a room. The room was oddly bright; my eyes were overwhelmed. As I walk into the room, I see myself and a doctor.

I blink a few times. "So? What have you been seeing in your dreams?" The woman asks myself (who is lying on the examination table).


"I see a girl, her eyes aren't purple but she looks exactly like me." I hear my own voice for the first time. I sound squeaky. "Do you see her now?" The woman asks my own reflection points to me.

The woman looks at me sternly, and then looks at my reflection. "Does she follow all the standards to your head commons?” My reflection shakes her head.
Shudders go through my body.


The woman's lips curl into a smile. She looks towards me at heads towards. She starts screaming at me. "Get out! You don't belong here! You should be living with the aberrant! She starts pushing me toward the door. But the whole image changes and I am tied to a tree.


The tree was located in the middle of the city. People are surrounding me- even my parents. The Head of The Oblivious Capitol approaches me. She uses her long fingernails to lift up my chin.

She smirks, "You should've just followed the rules, little girl." She lowers her voice.
Something inside me screams the words I never intended to say.

"Never," I glare at her.

She gives me an agonizing slap and I start to shed tears again. The woman laughs a little, "I'll let you die in peace then." Her words were rough.

She is indeed a tyrant. She lights a match; I am burning to death. My flesh is getting eaten by fire. I had nothing else to do but scream.


I have to let out my pain somehow. The flames disintegrate and I am sitting in a sofa. I frantically look at my legs and I run my palms on them. I was still wailing and sobbing. I couldn't think properly- I couldn't think at all. I notice my forearms were attached to machines.


A male appears out of the shadows. He takes a chair and sits beside me. "Do you believe in all the standards of your society?" He says; beads of sweat come running down my forehead. He repeats it again but in a much darker tone, I nod. I don't say a word. A shock of electricity goes through my body.


He gives me a smug look. "You're lying admit it." He says; I shake my head. "You're lying!!" His tone became furious. I am frightened and scared. I don't know what to do. "Say it!" He yells; another shock of electricity goes through my body.

"I AM NOT LYING!" I finally had the courage to yell back. He sits back with a satisfied look. "That's better", He checks something off of a checklist.

He soon fades away. I feel someone shaking me.


"Wake up." The woman says; I was back at the examination table. My clothes were drenched in sweat. Her face was quite stern, and it made me feel uncomfortable. "Look, I want you to forget this counselor visit." She says hastily.


"Why? Am I normal?" I croak; the woman shakes her head. "During the examination test, did the person tell you anything in particular?" Her voice was shaky.

I gulp down saliva. "All they said was I'm not able to live the normal 100 year- lifespan. They also told me that my mind is showing a fault." I say. I cover my mouth.


I'm not supposed to reveal anything. She grabs my elbow. "You're the only one. You have to be careful." She tucks a piece of hair under my ear. "Just act like a Tacitus okay?" She says reassuring. I nod my head. I still have no idea what she means.


Am I dangerous? Why do they fear me?


She grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Your secret is safe with me; I will change the recording to make it look like you are normal." She gives me an earnest look.

Before I leave she grabs my wrist again, "And, do me a favor. Act like you are weak." She says. I'm already crying. I know that this is going to haunt me in my dreams.


And that I'm probably never going to sleep at all.

---

Notes

--------> Author's Note;
UGH, these are things I don't want to happen in the world I'm living in.
I added Kris! EXO isn't one with Kris.
I'm always going to include Kris as if nothing happened and he is still in the band.
DELSTATICUS IMPRINT IS CHEN'S SYMBOL.