Liar
The First Diary Entry
Luhan
Dear Diary,
Luhan argued with me again. Honestly, sometimes, I feel like he hates me. I'd always wondered why, when he was nice sometimes. Eomma and appa are overseas again, leaving me with Kang Woo. But I knew that sooner or later, he would leave me too, going to live in Japan with his buddies. I just wanted to house to me right now. I just came back from a check up at the hospital. The doctor asked me why my parents weren't there, all I could say was that they were busy. Apparently something was wrong with me, but they don't know what until they take some tests. So I started this diary, because I know it might be something bad, and life threatening. For a while now, my chest has been feeling tight, not growing pains or anything, but something that really hurts. Luhan laughed at me when I dropped my pencil case, spilling everything all over the floor, but little did he know, it felt like something was crushing my lungs and heart. Luhan. How many years has it been since I've known him? All my life I'm sure. We'd pick on each other ever since we were kids, and it hasn't stopped. By now, I've even noticed that his body language points to different things, like if he wants to eat, or if he's tired. Why am I thinking so much about this? It's not like I can confess when he hates me so much. But it's not like he knew me. Although he thinks I might have one or two friends, I know I don't. I only ever tell him I'm with my friends when I can't handle all the bullying I've been taking up till now. It's not like I chose to know Luhan since childhood, so why bully me? He once asked me why I had bandages on all of the time, and I'd answered that I got them when practicing skateboard. He believed me. I knew from the look on Xiumin and Lay's faces that they didn't believe me, but I guess Luhan was stupid enough to. Yesterday, I couldn't handle the pain. Both physical and mentally. Their words kept on repeating in my head, it felt like they would never stop hurting me until I was dead. So I decided I'd rather be dead, than bear all of this pain. I went into the bathroom, staring into the mirror at my sad self. At my weak self. I didn't want to be weak. Being weak was-I'd cut myself straight across my right wrist, blood welled up immediately, telling me that the cut was deep. Do you know what save me? It was Luhan. He had come into my room to find my notes on Biology and knocked on the bathroom door, asking if he could take them. I'd wiped away my tears, trying to sound as lively as I could. "Go ahead, it's not like I'll be using them." I said and I heard him drop the notebook. "You better not be doing what I think you're doing in there." He'd banged on the locked door. "You can be strong, if not, I'll help you be strong, but you better not be-" I'd cut him off, knowing full well that he didn't want me to die. That alone was enough to clean the cut and bandage it tight enough so it didn't bleed too much. I'd slipped on a sports band over it and opened the door. "I was just doing my make up, I don't need my notes after I memorize them. That's what I meant." I'd said, being the coward and not telling him. But as usual, he believed me and picked up the notes, going back to his room. Thank you, Luhan. If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't be alive.
Love Jae Mi
Dear Diary,
Luhan argued with me again. Honestly, sometimes, I feel like he hates me. I'd always wondered why, when he was nice sometimes. Eomma and appa are overseas again, leaving me with Kang Woo. But I knew that sooner or later, he would leave me too, going to live in Japan with his buddies. I just wanted to house to me right now. I just came back from a check up at the hospital. The doctor asked me why my parents weren't there, all I could say was that they were busy. Apparently something was wrong with me, but they don't know what until they take some tests. So I started this diary, because I know it might be something bad, and life threatening. For a while now, my chest has been feeling tight, not growing pains or anything, but something that really hurts. Luhan laughed at me when I dropped my pencil case, spilling everything all over the floor, but little did he know, it felt like something was crushing my lungs and heart. Luhan. How many years has it been since I've known him? All my life I'm sure. We'd pick on each other ever since we were kids, and it hasn't stopped. By now, I've even noticed that his body language points to different things, like if he wants to eat, or if he's tired. Why am I thinking so much about this? It's not like I can confess when he hates me so much. But it's not like he knew me. Although he thinks I might have one or two friends, I know I don't. I only ever tell him I'm with my friends when I can't handle all the bullying I've been taking up till now. It's not like I chose to know Luhan since childhood, so why bully me? He once asked me why I had bandages on all of the time, and I'd answered that I got them when practicing skateboard. He believed me. I knew from the look on Xiumin and Lay's faces that they didn't believe me, but I guess Luhan was stupid enough to. Yesterday, I couldn't handle the pain. Both physical and mentally. Their words kept on repeating in my head, it felt like they would never stop hurting me until I was dead. So I decided I'd rather be dead, than bear all of this pain. I went into the bathroom, staring into the mirror at my sad self. At my weak self. I didn't want to be weak. Being weak was-I'd cut myself straight across my right wrist, blood welled up immediately, telling me that the cut was deep. Do you know what save me? It was Luhan. He had come into my room to find my notes on Biology and knocked on the bathroom door, asking if he could take them. I'd wiped away my tears, trying to sound as lively as I could. "Go ahead, it's not like I'll be using them." I said and I heard him drop the notebook. "You better not be doing what I think you're doing in there." He'd banged on the locked door. "You can be strong, if not, I'll help you be strong, but you better not be-" I'd cut him off, knowing full well that he didn't want me to die. That alone was enough to clean the cut and bandage it tight enough so it didn't bleed too much. I'd slipped on a sports band over it and opened the door. "I was just doing my make up, I don't need my notes after I memorize them. That's what I meant." I'd said, being the coward and not telling him. But as usual, he believed me and picked up the notes, going back to his room. Thank you, Luhan. If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't be alive.
Love Jae Mi
Notes
Is it touching? I hope it is..I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Comment and subscribe!
~LonerWithNoLifeButKorea ^-^
To the subscribers and readers for this story, I'm sorry to say that I no longer can go on this account, so I will be reposting these on another one. I honestly had three accounts but thought you guys would judge me. But I'm going to repost these and try to update along with the newer stories. I'm sorry!!!! ~~~~~~~
4/23/15