Reasons to live

After Mark brought me home, I go to my room and lay on my bed. What did just happen?
So Mark brought me home. AND he said, that he'll bring me home everyday from now on. I remember his smile and I unwillingly smile. He was so nice! But he won't treat me like that anymore if he finds out what a bad person I am. That makes my smile fade away. If I could just turn back time...I take a quick shower and go to bed.
Since I was really exhausted I fall asleep immediately.

*Dream*

I'm little again. Two or three I guess. Daddy is holding me in his arms. It feels real, like it happened once, like he never left. I can feel that daddy is really sad. His tears are falling on my hair. I can see a woman taking a little boys hand and leaving. I know that I really want to follow her, but daddy is holding on on me. I start to cry. I neither want her to leave nor the boy.

*Dream end*

I wake up crying. I don't know why I'm crying, it's just a dream. But it seemed so real. I just sit there for five minutes not able to stop my tears from running down my cheeks.
Finally I got up and go to the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for school.
I grab my school bag and leave my house. Suddenly someone taps my shoulder. I startle. What was that? I turn around and see one of Bambam's friends. I think his name was Jackson.
“Annyeong, Ahreum.”
“Annyeong, Jackson-shi. What are you doing here?”
“The same as you I guess. Walking to school. I didn't know that I had such a beautiful neighbor.” I blush. “Me neither. Well, not a girl but, a nice boy.”
“Just nice? I'm disappointed, I just called you beautiful.” I cough. I don't know how to react, I never got a compliment like that. “... thank you?”
“You're welcome.” He says and pat my head, what causes me to start.
We bump into Mark and Bambam at school. Mark was that nice Mark again. He just had a bad day yesterday I guess. Or I hope so, I actually really liked the nice Mark.
“Annyeong noona.”
“Annyeong Ahreum-shi.”
“Hi guys. You don't have to speak formal with me. Just call me Ahreum.”
“Okay, you just call me Mark. “
We go to our classes and me and somehow it feels good to have someone to accompany you to your classrooms and talking to during class. But I can feel every single glance on me. If looks could kill I would have died more than hundred really painful deaths. I had lunch with the boys again. I think I really missed having friends and having fun. The boys make me like I'm not alone anymore on this world, even though I am.
Me and Jr. are on my way to the art class as his mobile rings. I see how he picks up and gets blank. As he hangs up he looks at me terrified.
“Hey, what's wrong?”
“There's something with my mom. I'm gonna skip the rest of the day. I need to get to the hospital right now.” He swallows.
“You sure, you're okay.” I'm worried about him, he's as pale as a sheet of paper.
“No, I don't know. I can't think now.” I can see the tears in his eyes.
I look at him thinking about how he cared for me. He made that I didn't have to go home alone. It may seem like not much, but for me it's more than enough.
“I'm coming with you. I'll look that you get there save.” He finally gives me a sad smile.
“Gamawo, Ahreum.”

At the hospital

Jr. runs straightaway to his mothers room. He grabs the doctor and they leave the room. Somehow I'm suddenly alone in the room with Jr.'s mother.
“So you're Ahreum-shi.”
“Ye, Chae Ahreum-mnida”
“Chae Ahreum... You know what? I've known a kid with exact same name as you. She was like my own child for me until I had to leave for some reasons. She would be in the same age as you.”She smiles sadly.
Jr. returns with a nurse, his face expressionless.
“So, Park Mineuk-shi, you really need some rest. And you two... It's better if you leave now.”
“But-”
“Jinyoung-ah, I think you better bring Ahreum home.”
I can't move. Park Mineuk, that was my mother's name. I'm shocked. How could I have not noticed that. The woman on Jr.'s painting, she reminded me of the woman in the photograph in my living room. What is happening? Jr.'s mother is the woman who left me and dad? It's not possible. It's just a woman having some similarities with her and having the same name coincidentally.
“Ahreum...?”
I snap out of my thoughts.
“Wha- what? Sorry I was thinking.”
“Okay let's go.”
Me and Jr. leave the hospital and take the bus.
“So, how's your mother?”
“Her condition is getting worse. The chemotherapy doesn't take effect anymore. She urgently needs a donor... The doctors give her maximum 3 months without.” Jr. answers hesitantly.
I was shocked. I have thought that her condition may be bad, but not that bad. We don't talk much more on the bus. Since the way from the bus station home isn't that long I tell Jr., I could walk home alone. I can see how tired he is. Commuting between school, hospital and home must be really exhausting. He leaves after telling me to go home, not to go anywhere else and giving me his mobile number for an emergency.

Notes