Cherry Blossom Winter~ To Lack, To Find

“So, Wu Yi Fan…” Bom flirted. “What shall we do in this big empty room?” as she said this part she leaned onto the table in the center of the room, leaning on her arms for support. Yi Fan looked at her, his expression somewhere between unreadable and pleased. He reached over and pulled Bom up so that the two were standing less than a centimeter apart, staring into each other’s eyes. Bom suddenly felt something she hadn’t in a long time. Not since her thing with Noboru in Tokyo. It was a bubbling in her stomach, not caused by what she had eaten, it wasn’t physical, it was metaphysical. The name for it was “butterflies” in English, but she didn’t know if there was a Korean or even Japanese word for it. She gulped, still looking into this new man’s eyes. His eyes were no longer looking into hers, however. They were looking at her lips. Suddenly and without warning, the man called Yi Fan caressed Bom’s lips with his own, one hand on her lower back and one on the back of her neck.

Bom’s contrived butterflies bubbled over like a pot of boiling water and she kissed back with certain passion. But, just as quickly as Yi Fan had started, Bom stopped. She pulled away with the sudden feeling of guilt flooding across her mind and body. She was thinking of Kyung Soo now. What would he think of this?

“Sorry…” Bom said pulling her entire body away from Yi Fan’s grasp.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“No, its just…” Bom’s flirtatious demeanor was gone. She was just full of dread and Kyung Soo was slowly filling her mind and flooding her thoughts. She continued backing away, supporting herself on the edge of the table, until there was no more table. With Bom’s support gone, she stumbled and fell easily. On the way down, she tried to grab anything that may give her some sort of leverage or ability to not fall and ended up grabbing one of the many bottles of champagne that resided on the table. When her hand the hit the ground to soften the fall, the bottle shattered beneath and it’s green glass was strewn everywhere. “Oh,” She muttered, more to herself than anyone else. Bom, in a daze, lifted her hand and looked at it. It was bleeding badly and there were still shards of the semi-opaque green glass stuck within. She pulled each shard out slowly, as if in a trance. She didn’t even feel embarrassed to have fallen. As she went to remove the last shard, Yi Fan swiftly walked over.

“Don’t… you’ll get an infection. He gently grabbed Bom’s hand and carefully removed the last shard, setting it on the ground beside him. He quickly exited the room without a word. Bom began to worry unfathomably. She hadn’t properly done as Tae Woo told her to. She was going to get into so much trouble and probably lose her job, or worse, get assigned to 588 again. That guy had probably gone downstairs to tell Tae Woo what Bom had done. TaeWoo would most definitely start fuming, and probably get violent. Bom quickly stood up, but was forced to sit back down almost immediately. Her hand was losing a lot of blood and it was making her light headed. So, instead, she carefully crawled over to the table. She wanted the napkins that were placed on the table, towards the middle. She couldn’t reach it for the life of her, and was quickly becoming more and more lightheaded. She resorted in hastily wiping the flowing blood with the table cloth. Almost as if she was drunk, Bom haphazardly smeared the blood around everywhere. It was getting everywhere. And Bom was losing consciousness. Growing both terrified and drowsy, Bom’s eyes closed and she slipped into a dark sleep.

~~~

When she awoke, Bom could feel nothing at first. In the black numbness her half-asleep state brought Bom was happy. But soon, the panic and worry set in as well as the pain. She opened her eyes and saw the man from earlier. He was hunched over her doing something with the upmost concentration. Bom peered at the clock on the wall, over the door, and realized only a couple minutes had passed. Soon she realized that the man was mending her hurt hand. She watched him as he worked. He spread some antibiotic on the open cuts, which helped stop the bleeding a little. He opened some small butterfly bandages and placed them over the larger cuts, in an attempt to close them for healing. Then he grabbed a medium-sized medical pad and placed it over Bom’s palm. He tapped it a couple times, probably not for luck, but Bom couldn’t help but think of what she did when she bandaged injuries: tap it once for luck. Yi Fan then continued by grabbing a large role of gauze wrap and began to wrap Bom’s entire hand, much like the time Bom had wrapped Kyung Soo’s hand after his fight injury. Half way through wrapping, he looked over at Bom, meeting her stare. He just smiled at her and went back to working. Bom spoke up first.

“I thought, you went to get Tae Woo… I was pretty scared for a second,” she began, chuckling weakly.

Yi Fan looked at her again, quickly, and then back to her hand, wrapping. He smiled again. “No, I went to find a first aid kit.”

“Ahh,” Bom said in understanding.

“Then I came back and you were passed out, and covered in blood. I was really surprised at how much blood a little body like you could produce,” he continued, finishing the bandage. “It was a pretty horrific scene..” He looked up at her.

“Sorry,” Bom said earnestly. Bom saw now that they were both on the floor. She was lying down and he was sitting up. He head was propped on his legs. She tried to sit up quickly. This new man prevented it by pulling her back down.

“Not so fast.”

Shit. Bom thought to herself. He still wants ‘a good time’.

“You can’t get up that quickly…” he said instead. “You lost a good amount of blood; it’s not healthy for you to be up and about just yet. You stay lying down…” as he said this, he grabbed a pillow from one of the chairs in the room. He walked back over to Bom on the ground, bent down, lifted her head, and placed the pillow underneath. “I’m doing to get you some water. You’d think in a room full of drinks there would be some water…” the last part he said more to himself, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Bom was left in complete silence. The sound of the club below was less than barely audible, and she could just feel the vibrations the speakers created. Yi Fan was back to the room in 10 minutes , with him he brought a couple of bottled waters from the bar and a waiter-type man who was carrying a platter.

“Here.” Yi Fan said handing Bom a water.

“Thank you,” she returned, bowing her head, then she looked at the waiter and bowed again. He gaze shifted to the platter. Yi Fan saw and explained.

“I brought some food too. Replenishing your body of the nutrients it lost through the blood is really important,” he told her.

“Ohhh…” Bom said softly. Yi Fan gestured for the waiter to set the platter down and leave. The waiter quickly did so.

Yi Fan came over to Bom and helped her up, supporting her back with one hand and her hands in his other one. He sat her down in a chair and pulled the metal cover off the platter. It revealed an entire meal beneath; complete with banchan* and everything. Bom crooned in amazement. It was safe to say it had been a while since she had a proper meal. Yi Fan chuckled and sat down next to her. He grabbed a spoon and filled it with rice, layering some seasoned seaweed on top with chopsticks in his other hand. He went to feed Bom with it. “Ah,” he prompted.
Bom opened her mouth and ate the spoonful. It may have just been simple white rice and seasoned seaweed, but to Bom it was delicious and nearly exploded with flavor. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until that moment. She grabbed her own spoon and chopsticks and started eating. “Eat the seaweed first,” her companion said. “It will help you heal faster.”
Bom changed her route of her chopsticks to the kimchi to that of the seaweed. “You seem to know a lot,” she pointed out.

“No,” Yi Fan negated. “I just know different things than you,” Yi Fan said absent-mindedly as he shoveled food into his own mouth.

“How did you learn all this useful healing and mending stuff though?” Bom inquired, mostly as small talk to keep a conversation going.

Yi Fan stopped eating for a second. “I’ve seen a lot of people I cared for get injured,” he mumbled staring off into space, clearly upset by whatever memory flashed through his mind. Bom looked over at him. “…too many.” He finished.

Bom nodded, and both parties then continued eating.

~~~

The food was finally gone and now the two were sitting in silence. Bom was thinking about Kyung Soo and Yi Fan was staring off into space. Bom realized she had yet to show her companion a “good time” like her boss Tae Woo told her to. She didn’t want to but she needed that steady money badly.

“So—” Bom started to say but was cut off by Yi Fan.

“You want to go somewhere?” he asked, looking at Bom. The confused expression Bom gave off probably prompted him to add the second part, “like, somewhere other than here?”

Bom wasn’t confused, as much as surprised. “Uhm sure,” she said slowly. Bom’s hostess image was now gone, and her real personality was beginning to show through. She tried to put that façade back on, but it was becoming difficult, and the worst part was she didn’t know why. She couldn’t explain it.

Yi Fan stood up from the chair he was sitting and waited for Bom to do the same. Bom stood also, and Yi Fan then led Bom to the door. Bom was still a bit light headed from the earlier incident. She hadn’t lost that much blood, but she had lost a lot. And that paired with the fact she had barely been eating these days due to her lack of resources both attributed to her current state. She stumbled. Yi Fan quickly looked back and rushed back to prevent Bom from falling. He grabbed her wrist and lower back and supported her with his own body. “Maybe you should just rest instead…”

“No. I’m fine. Just give me a second,” Bom reassured. She swiftly stood up straight and tried to right herself. Yi Fan watched her movements carefully. Bom started to walk towards the door and when she went to grab the knob, she fell into the door.

“Here.” Yi Fan said walking up to Bom and grabbing her hand. He curled up his arm like a gentleman at a white tie event would and placed Bom’s hand where the lady’s hand would go. “Use me as support.”

Bom didn’t protest. She was tired and felt weak. She left her hand where he had put it and waited for him to start walking. He grabbed both their coats that the waiter had brought from the table downstairs and the two left the private room looking like a real couple.

The two didn’t speak as they walked down the dark hallway, and their surroundings were virtually soundless as well. At the end of the hallway Bom went to walk down the stairs, but was surprised to find herself yanked in the other direction. She looked over and Yi Fan was exiting door that had been hidden from Bom’s perspective. It was to another dark hallway. This one was much darker though, and Bom was surprised that Yi Fan could see where he was going.

“There are stairs here,” Yi Fan warned. Bom heard him step down a stair and she followed. They went down a couple flights and then reached a door with a green exit sign. Yi Fan opened the door and stepped down a step. A flood of light and blisteringly cold chill both blinded and shocked Bom for a split second, but as soon as it did, her eyes re adjusted and Yi Fan propped her coat on her shoulders. They were on a fire escape. It was located on the back of the building that held the club, so there were no hoards of people waiting to get inside visible. There lay just a small alley below them.

Yi Fan let go of Bom’s arm and dusted off a place for her to sit. He gestured for her to take a seat, and after she did, he took on as well, right next to her. He put on his own coat and helped her continue to put on hers. "With your coat on, you can barely see all the blood on your dress," Yi Fan pointed out. Bom looked down at herself. She did have a lot of blood on her dress. I guess i wont be wearing this dress ever again, she thought to herself. They sat there for a while in silence. The building was rather tall, so Bom could see a lot of the city lights. She thought her companion was looking at them too, until she looked over to find his eyes on her. They looked at each other for a while without words.

“What?” Bom was the first to speak. “Do I have blood on my face?” She asked, bringing her hand up to her face smiling. Yi Fan said nothing and just took her bandaged hand. He was gentile with his grasp and turned it over slowly, examining it carefully. Still no words. Finally he spoke.

“Make sure to eat well for the next couple of days. You need to heal. If you eat well, you may not scar as severely,” he said, now looking into her eyes.

Bom was immediately set off by Yi Fan's constant worry for her new injury. She couldn’t stand this stranger being so caring straight off the bat, especially not if he was of the same variety as Tae Woo sajangnim. “Stop it.” Bom said, pushing her companion’s hand of her own, smile fading. She could tell by his new expression, that her companion was confused. “Stop being so nice.”

“But you’re hurt—” Yi Fan started. Bom cut him off.

“No. Stop it. Don’t pretend that you’re a decent person. I know what you really want.” Bom looked over the side of the fire escape. It was pretty far down. For a split second she thought of trying to make the jump, but opted not to, she would probably die. She slouched over instead, slightly out of irritation but mostly out of fatigue. “I have to show you a ‘good time.’”

There was a pause. Then, Bom leaned over to Yi Fan and grabbed the back of his neck. Her charm was weak, but she was able to turn it back on out of desperation. Yi Fan leaned into her and their faces were now only centimeters apart. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

This sudden shift disoriented Bom. “What?” She asked, pulling back.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Yi Fan repeated simply.

Bom looked at the man who sat next to her incredulously. She tried to choose her words wisely, but ended up giving up. “You don’t understand,” was all she said.

“What’s not to understand?” Yi Fan started. “From what I get, you need money. From what I’ve heard, if you’re the one Tae Woo was worrying about, you haven’t been coming to work for the past month which is also why you don’t have the money.”

“Tae Woo doesn’t worry about anyone but himself.” Bom immediately retorted.

“Well he seemed to be awfully worried about you.” Yi Fan replied.

“He’s only worried about the business,” Bom scoffed.

“That may be true, but at least it’s not just himself. If he is ‘just worrying about the business’ like you said, then inadvertently he is worrying about you and all his employees as well. If you look at it with that perspective, it seems less hollow,” Yi Fan told her.

Bom sat and thought about that for a moment. It made sense and did indeed make Tae Woo as well as the situation less empty. Bom suddenly felt like she mattered and that maybe she didn’t really have to do this. This culminated with her. “But Tae Woo wants me to do this.”

Yi Fan was silent for a moment. “I’ll just tell him you did. Then you get your money, no problem,” he shrugged.

“You’ll really do that?” Bom asked rotating her neck to face Yi Fan. She didn’t really believe a word of it, and that shown through her tone.

Yi Fan grabbed both her hands and completely surrounded them with his own. He looked into Bom’s eyes and Bom was taken aback by how handsome his eyes were. It gave her this bubbly feeling in her stomach again. She looked down quickly. Yi Fan followed her face. “I’ll tell him you did what he asked. I promise. Don’t worry,” Bom couldn’t tell if he was being earnest or if he was just a ladies man, but she didn’t care. Her heart was about to leap out her stomach.
Yi Fan quickly pulled away and chuckled. “You have to spend the next couple weeks with me whenever I want anyways…” he said cockily. He was a ladies man. You could just tell by the way he held himself while he said that, Bom thought to herself.

Nevertheless, she pulled out her pinky. “Promise?”

Yi Fan looked down at her pinky and then to her. He gave his pink and then they touched thumbs and it was over. Bom sighed in relief. She was exhausted.

“Let’s hang out tomorrow,” Yi Fan said to her, not looking at her but looking at the city lights. “You have to say yes, but I thought I be a gentleman and ask anyways.”

Bom laughed. “Well that’s so kind of you,” she said slightly sarcastic. “I would be delighted to.”

“Where do you live?” Yi fan asked.

Bom gave him her address. He didn’t write it down or anything, just sat there and looked at the lights as she spoke. He didn’t even seem like he was paying attention until he regurgitated the address back to her perfectly. There was more silence after that. When a good fifteen minutes of silence passed by, Bom stood up. “You don’t mind if I leave?” she asked. “I mean, I’ll probably be seeing you in less than twenty four hours anyway.”

“Go ahead by yourself. I’m going to stay here for a bit,” he said gesturing to the fire escape. He pauses then continued. “Nevermind. I’ll walk you down to your taxi, what kind of gentleman am I?”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. I can do it myself. You seem like you want to just rest for a bit here and that’s totally okay,” Bom reassured. “I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”

He looked at her. “Well at least let me give you money to pay for your taxi,” he said reaching into his pocket.

“Its—” Bom went to say its fine but reconsidered. She didn’t have any money whatsoever for taxi or anything and the temperature was dropping drastically. She wasn't in perfect health either because of her incident anyways, so she decided to just accept the money. “Thanks.”
Yi Fan nodded and turned back around to face the city and that was it. Bom headed for her cab and Yi Fan stayed on the escape. It was only until Bom had reached the front of the club that she realized she didn’t have that man’s phone number or even know what time he was planning to “hang out” the next day. Shit.

Notes

banchan*- korean side dishes