Fateful Encounter

Luhan and I walk back to the hospital in silence, but I am still well aware of his presence. It’s difficult to ignore him, and even more difficult to ignore the butterflies multiplying in my stomach. Why am I even feeling like this? It wasn’t like this with D.O, so why is it like this with Luhan? My mind is a mess, and I am just so confused. Knowing that I have a boyfriend but am still having these feelings for another person makes me angry at myself, it makes me feel like a dirty traitor. Kai doesn’t deserve this.

As we return to the hospital, it turns out that everyone except Harley had left, and even Harley had to leave.
“Are you going to stay, TJ?”
“Yeah.”
“Please look after him. I have to go, but call me when he wakes up.”
“I have to go too. My parents will be worried. Bye, TJ.” Luhan says.
“Bye. Thanks for the meal.” Luhan smiles at me, and closes the door behind him as he leaves.

I sit on the seat next to Kai’s bed, and I reach out to hold his hand- but an image of Luhan’s face flashes through my mind and my hand jerks back. Of course. How could I even have thought for a second that I could hold his hand without thinking of someone else’s hand? My heart is heavy as I watch Kai sleep peacefully. His face is relaxed, relieved of all troubles. Yet I sit here, the exact opposite. I don’t want these feelings for Luhan. I just want to go back to my relationship with Kai. My feelings aren’t even the biggest problem at the moment, but how to tell Kai. The question is, do I tell him? I wish I had a friend to consult with, but as it turns out, I don’t. I hesitantly inch my hand closer to Kai’s once more. I touch his gingerly, and then slip my hand into his. His palm is calloused and rough, but warm. I couldn’t wish for a better relationship than this one, so why do I have to have these stupid feelings for Luhan? Surely its just lust. They’ll go away, and I look forward to the day they do.

I hadn’t realized I had fallen asleep, but I wake up to a hand caressing my hair. I lift my head, and my neck complains. Sleeping in that position is obviously very bad for my posture, but once wont hurt.
“Morning.” Kai’s husky voice is music to my ears.
“Morning. When did you come around?” I cant help but grin manically. It’s such a relief to see him alright.
“An hour ago, maybe. The doctor came by while you were sleeping, and talked to me. It’s weird, but I just remember going too fast and not being able to stop. I don’t even remember falling down the stairs.”
“Mmm. How are you feeling?”
“Alright. A little light headed, but that’s cause of the painkillers. Also kinda bruised and beat up.”
“It’s good you didn’t get hurt badly. I’m glad.” I intertwine our fingers, and wrap my other hand around the other side of his, sandwiching it. “By the way, does anyone else know you’re awake?”
“Oh. I don’t know. I thought the doctor would call Harley, but he hasn’t come, so maybe she didn’t.”
“Alright. I’ll do it. Can you give me his number?”
I disentangle my fingers from his and grab my phone. Kai gives me Harley’s number and I dial it. The phone rings, and after the first ring, Harley picks up. He probably wasn’t able to sleep well.
“Hello?”
“Hey Harley?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
“Its TJ. Kai’s awake.”
“Really?! Great! I’ll be there soon.”
I hang up, and Kai looks at me.
“What?” I ask. “Is there something on my face?”
Kai chuckles. “No, there isn’t.” He says. “Just realized that I’m so damn lucky to have you.”
At his words, I blush happily. Then I remember Luhan and the red in my cheeks is no longer from being bashful. It’s from anger and embarrassment. Why does he have to be so kind? Why do I have to be like this? Harley barging through the door saves me from my destructive thoughts.

“I called everyone else, so they’re coming soon. I’m glad you’re awake, man.” He walks to the other side of the bed and does the guy-shake with Kai.
“Do…do mum and dad know?” Kai’s voice is laced with tension. Does he want them to know? Or not? I realize I’ve never asked about his relationship with his parents. When D.O told me he rebelled against them for sending him here, I always just guessed he didn’t like them. But maybe he rebelled because he wanted them to come get him?

“..No. Do you want them to?” Harley’s reply is hesitant. I realize this is a family matter, and I stand.
“I’ll let you guys talk.” Before I could leave, Kai grabs my hand.
“No. Stay. There aren’t any secrets between you and me.” It felt as if an arrow had pierced me through the heart and the level of my guilt skyrocketed. No secrets, huh? The irony.

He kept his past a secret from you.
My inner voice never misses an opportunity to make my feelings clash with each other. It’s not like his past is my business, though. It doesn’t matter whether or not he tells me about his past.

“O-ok..” I sit back down, but Kai doesn’t let go of my hand.

“No. Don’t tell them. Not like they care anyway. Stupid of me to think that they would come to visit just cause I got knocked out.” Kai’s voice is bitter.
“They DO care, Kai. It’s cause they care that they sent you here to get a good education.” Harley snaps. Woah. There is definitely some history here. Obviously Harley and Kai had gone over this many times.

“Right. And it’s cause they care that neither of them have ever bothered to call or e-mail and visit me in the four years I’ve been here. They don’t care about me, Harley. Face it! My dad whores around and my mother is a workaholic drunkard. You can’t tell me that their old habits have died and they are now respectable people. God knows they’re probably divorced! They’re relationship was a ticking time bomb.” Harley is quiet, and his lips are tight.

Notes