Another day, another day of being sitting on his couch watching the tv, precisely watching his ex-lover, Jung Yunho. For a few minutes the beautiful singer named Jaejoong would sat on his couch, turn the tv on only to watch yunho dancing and singing along with Changmin, meaning his ex-members. It was sad indeed but now, the two persons on a tv, the two persons who had been his family were now strangers. Promises had been broken just like Jaejoong’s heart.

Would they kiss again? Would they touch each other again? Would they meet again?
Maybe, maybe not.

Work was the only thing preventing Jaejoong from going on depression and cry his heart out again like he did three years ago, when DBSK parted away.

Remembering the last day, the last kiss shared with his beloved on hurt, remembering the last time they made love, the last time their souls become one, was pure torture because deep inside his heart he still loved yunho, he still wished to see him again, he wished to turn back in the past and live all the sweet memories made with his beloved person again yet he knew all of it was lost, that everything they shared were mere memories, memories that he would forever cherish with all of his heart.

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The first snowflakes were falling from the gray sky of Seoul, the cold breeze of December asking to people to finally take their scarfs and warm clothes out from their closets while for some the first day of snow was just a normal day. It was said that on the very first day of snow all the lies would be forgiven, was it true? Jaejoong didn’t know but he didn’t search for an answer either. He just stood there in the middle of the park, watching the first snowflakes fall.
The park, his favorite place to hang out when he is sad or feeling down, the place full with memories with Yunho, the place where he watched the first snow fall with his beloved one yet that day he was watching it alone, not smiling, not crying, only having a heavy heart, proclaiming to be loved again.

Turning his head to the bench beside him, the first smile after so many months was made. The bench, his special bench, the place where they both have confessed, where they both have kissed for the first time, where they have molded their lips perfectly and let their love being shared for the first time through a kiss. Jaejoong still remembered how that kiss felt, how just a simple lip touch had send one million sensations on his body.

“ I love you…”

Three soft words, one meaning, three soft words that he had not pronounced since the day he left yunho, the three soft words that he was dying to tell him again. Yes, he was still in love with yunho why? The answer is simple. Yunho was Jaejoong soul-mate, no one would ever make Jaejoong feel like he felt towards his ex-lover. No one would love him and filling his heart with happiness like yunho did.

“ Please let me see him again… “
Closing his eyes, fighting back the tears forming under his eyelashes, enjoying how the cold breeze caressed his flawless skin while in his mind he started imagining, imagining yunho wrapping his strong arms around his tiny waist, press soft light kisses on his neck before mumbling the words he was dying to hear against his hear.

“ I love you Joongie…”

Another smile appeared on his lips yet this time following with a single tear drop from the corner of his eye while his heart raced inside of his chest. He was sad indeed yet he was happy as well, seeing yunho happy, healthy was the only thing he wished even if they weren’t together anymore, he only wished the best for his beloved one.

Step after step, his head lifted up to watch the soft snowflakes falling from the sky, the beautiful boy made his way back home. Step after step he would walk, humming a soft melody under his breath while the air surrounding him would get colder, while the paysage surrounding him would slowly turning into white. December was finally here yet no happiness was filling the man’s heart only sorrow.

Thought after thought, the beautiful boy kept thinking about the lost memories he had tried to forget, about the happy moments they have shared but he knew that slowly he was falling again, that he was falling into his darkness, the darkness that he had made after hearing Yunho words, a darkness that was only growing within seconds, hours and days.

“ Oh My God, watch out. “

Someone screaming but who was it? Did he recognized the voice? Was that person talking to him? Was that person trying to wake up him from his daydreaming? Maybe but he didn’t want, living in his memories was the only thing that could keep him away from his darkness, the only way he could see Yunho’s smile over and over again.

A loud noise of a car trying to stop was heard, the gasps coming out from the person’s mouth following while Jaejoong was keeping to walk, crossing the street to the other side till he notice the car coming towards him, till he noticed the driver of the car, making him stop and turn around on his spot, eyes fully wide.

“ Yunho…”

Finally the car came to a full stop, only a few inches away from Jaejoong’s legs yet he wasn’t even thinking about that, he was only observing the person driving, the person that was now staring back at him with a surprised face or was it sadness?

“ Jaejoong, what were you thinking? Are you okay? “

Yunho said once he opened his car’s door to get out and obviously walking towards the shocked boy still frozen on his spot.

“ Jaejoong…”

“ Yunho…”

“ Come on, you must be freezing. I’ll take you home…”

“ N-no…”
“ Jaejoong? “
“ I don’t want to see you leaving again. I love you Yunho. Please… “
“ Jae… Don’t do this again. “

Pain could be seen in both of their faces, both of their hearts racing inside their chests once their eyes locked, slowly drowning themselves on each others gaze. No words were needed to explain what they were feeling, no words were needed to explain what they have felt through the past three years because they gaze, the sorrow on them showed how much they needed each other to be happy, to smile again, to live the life they have always dreamed of.

“ Yunho… P-please…”
“ Get in the car, let’s talk somewhere else Jaejoong. “
“ I love you. “
“ Jae…”
“ I love you, i love you Yunho. “
“ Jaejoong please, get in the car we need to talk. “
“ o-okay… I’ll go with you. “

Notes